I don't own Inuyasha.
~Skit~
Inuyasha: Get out of my way! I'm trying to get to Kagome!
Hojo: No! Kagome's mine!
Inuyasha: Bitch! Your mom's a whore!
Hojo, recoiling in horror: SHE SAID SHE QUIT!!
~End Skit~
Muahahahahahahahahhahhaa. Okay that wasn't funny.
Authors Note: Watch Naruto or you are an evil bad bad person! If anyone has the scans of all the manga like from Toriyama World can you e-mail it to me? Please? I'll give you Hunter x Hunter or something! Watch HxH too. Or download the translated manga scans. Go to http://toriyamaworld.com/hxh/ to download them. AND GIVE ME THE TRANSLATED MANGA SCANS FOR NARUTO! Ever since viz licensed it I can't download them. Gr. I've only got up to volume 2.
I don't really have time to respond to everyone's reviews right now. It's 4 minutes after I submitted the last chapter. No one's really reviewed yet. And by the way. I fixed the whole Sess vs. Kouga thing. Now he gets a lot more beat up. A lot more. Broken ankle, tib/fib compound fracture, whole through his chest, and a kenatsu burn on his back. Happy now? Kouga got the shit beat out of him. But he's still alive. I need him to cause trouble in Inuyasha and Kagome's relationship. On with Kaede vs. Sesshoumaru in verbal warfare. Don't worry, Kaede won't die.
My leg is COMPLETELY NUMB!!! Shit. Aw damn. Now it's all tingly. Feels weird. And I was just thinking, I got some long ass authors notes here. 'joo see the last chapter's one where I was explaining the clan things? Damn.
I scoff at you Sess/Kag people. I assure you this is not a Sess/Kag fic. Or an Sess/Inu fic. Seriously what is wrong with you people? They're half brothers. Sheesh. Or even a Miro/Sess or Sess/Kaede or anything. Lol. I think I'll make a pairing list.
Pairing List: Inu/Kag, Hojo on crack thinking its Hojo/Kag, Kouga same as Hojo, Miro/San, Sess/ Rin sorta. She's only like 7 right now.
I think I need to straighten out the timeline here. Ok. Sesshoumaru arrived at the village the day after the new moon. At around 5 PM. Alright?
Recap. Kaede walks in on a very pissed off Sesshoumaru and tries to shoot him.
_____________________________________________________________________________________
"Youkai!" she exclaimed. Her old age must have been sneaking up on her for her not to notice such a powerful youki! She quickly brought up her bow and fired.
Sesshoumaru of course merely caught it and snapped it like the twig it was. "Human, you dare attack this Sesshoumaru? You should be groveling on your knees in my presence!" he stated imperiously.
Silence.
"You must be Inuyasha's brother." stated Kaede calmly.
If you were to look very very closely, you would be able to see a microscopic sweat-drop on Sesshoumaru's forhead, just above and right of the crescent moon mark. But Kaede only had one eye so she missed it.
"Inuyasha' s _half_ brother." he added in what seemed like an impotent rage. But Sesshoumaru never had an _impotent_ rage. If someone annoyed him, they died. But for some reason he didn't feel like killing this human. She had guts, which was extremely rare among the sniveling wretches that he was familiar with. "I could kill you for that." he added.
"How rude." stated Kaede.
"Wench! I am Lord of the Western Lands!" He shouted. This wench is infuriating!
"Now you sound like your _half_ brother." she said, stressing the half to annoy him.
"I should kill you where you stand."
"This is my hut."
"I'm lord of all the western lands." he added. I'll just beat her at her own game. he thought smugly.
"Except for my hut." she said, narrowing her good eye.
What the hell? he found himself thinking. He never broke his cool mask though.
"Then consider this a hostile take-over of the lands you claim."
"You would fight your half-brother for a hut?" she asked. "How foolish."
"Why would the mongrel care if I killed you."
"He wouldn't."
"Then you die." he said.
"But Kagome would." she said, just as Sesshoumaru was readying his claws.
"Hmph. That stupid human Inuyasha intends to be his mate, but doesn't even have his intent-claim on? Idiot. Choosing a human mate."
"What of the human child that follows you around."
This bitch is getting to nosy. Sesshoumaru thought. He was about to kill her anyway, when Inuyasha opened the door. The stupid miko had distracted him enough not to notice his brother dragging two deer carcasses. If you don't know, dragging 2 deer carcasses makes a hell of a lot of noise.
"Kaede-baba, move your wrinkled ass." he said. The miko complied out of a thing not akin to fear for her life, but more like a feeling of not wanting to lose it. She knew the full blooded youkai was searching for an excuse to kill her, and he might even use not complying with his brother as that excuse.
"Which one do you want, Sesshoumaru _sama_" he asked sarcastically.
"Both. I have servants. Cook the smaller one for Rin and Jaken."
"There is no way in hell you're getting both of them, _and_ making me cook one of them!" he screamed, rolling up his sleeve as if to punch his brother. Sesshoumaru knew it was a bluff, and called it. He stood and flexed a claw, allowing a small drop of venom to fall off of it. It made a whole in the floor.
"Inuyasha, you will clean the blood off my floor and repair the damaged section later." stated Kaede with all of her miko imperialism.
"What the FUCK? Do I look like a damn slave?" he asked.
"Inuyasha, osuwari." said Kaede calmly.
Inuyasha crashed to the ground, which came as a surprise to both Inuyasha and Sesshoumaru.
"Hahahaha." Sesshoumaru let a small laugh escape his lips. "You let a wrinkled prune subdue you, Inuyasha."
"WHAT IN THE HELL WAS THAT?" he screamed while getting up. "I thought only Kagome could do that?!?!"
"I did put that rosary on you." she simply stated.
"Prepare my food, mongrel." said Sesshoumaru. "Or I may have the walking prune subdue you." he said with a smirk. He acted like it was stupid of Inuyasha to be subdued by the necklace, but like many other youkai, he'd heard tales of prayer-bead necklaces that had stopped Demon Lords in their tracks. They said it was a lost art to mikos though. Obviously the servants at his palace were wrong.
"You will have no one do anything, young one."
Sesshoumaru smirked. A chance at victory in the game of verbal war he had been playing with the miko? Perhaps. "How old are you, miko." he asked.
"How old are you?" she countered.
Like Inuyasha, he had also forgotten his age. He only knew it within fifty or so years. After all, youkai were immortal. It wasn't the years that killed you, but other youkai. "450 years, human." he stated victoriously.
"Then you have only been of age for 350 years, am I correct?"
He almost frowned. Almost. "Yes." he said.
"Which is the human equivalent of only 7 years. You still have 550 before you reach agelessness, pup. I'm still comparatively older." she said.
Sesshoumaru made as if he were going to kill her, and Inuyasha wasn't particularly inclined to stop him at that point.
_____________________________________________________________________________________
Now we switch to Kagome's point of view, to see what has been happening to her…
_____________________________________________________________________________________
"Kagome honey, hurry up. You're going to be late for school." her mother told her.
"Bye mama, I've gotta go!" she said oblivious of what her mother had said earlier. She ran by without saying another word.
I'm gonna be late, I'm gonna be late, I'm gonna be late, I'm gonna be late, I'm gonna be late!!! she thought frantically as she was trying to set a new distance-between-the-Higurashi-Shrine-to-the-school world record for running. When she finally got there, she'd immediately spotted Eri.
"Hi Eri! What have I missed?" she asked cheerfully.
"Oh nothing much. You know the foreign exchange student from America? She got in trouble for correcting the English teacher! It was so funny! She has a weeks detention for insubordination!" She kept on talking like this for about 3 minutes. Then, almost as an afterthought she added, "Oh, and your cousin came looking for you the other day. You know the one with long white hair? Omigosh he was so cute! And the red haori and hakata he was wearing! Oooo! Too bad he's engaged."
Kagome had a sinking feeling all of a sudden. White hair? Red haori? CUTE? "INUYASHA I'M GOING TO GET YOU FOR THIS!!!" she screamed. What is he thinking stalking me and talking to my friends. "What did you tell him. Tell me. Now." she said in an urgent voice between clenched teeth.
Eri was afraid. "Um. He. Er. He was um."
"SPIT IT OUT ALREADY!!!" Kagome screamed.
"He w-w-waslookingforyourboyfriendsbecausehewantedtoprotectyouandhewaslookingforthe-"
"TAKE A BREATH!! I can't understand you." she said, trying to calm down.
"He was looking for your boyfriends because he said he wanted to protect you and he was looking for the violent selfish one especially because he didn't think you should be going out with someone like that." she said, still in one breath, but not so fast. It was still in a quick monotone though. "And he seemed to know the violent jealous one. Inulasha."
"That's InuYASHA and he knew him because THAT WAS HIM YOU DOLT!!" she screamed.
"Oh. Gomen…"
"No I'm sorry Eri." she said with a sigh. "I guess I should tell you this now. He's not actually my boyfriend." she said in a depressed tone.
"What? Then how can he be a two-timer?" she asked. "That's the one part you're always the most worked up about." she added.
"Well he acts like my boyfriend! He just denies everything. He gets all jealous and tries to kill people when they kidnap me or grope me." she said defensively.
"YOU'VE BEEN KIDNAPPED?" she asked.
"Er. Only by Kouga! And Kouga is almost as bad. He thinks I'm 'his woman'."
"Who is it that keeps trying to grope you??" she asked with less volume but the same amount of shock.
"It's just Miroku!" she said defensively again. "Anyways, I think he stopped when Inuyasha nearly broke his arm!" she said.
"And you're mad about that??" she asked.
"Err… this is all coming out wrong!" she screamed just as the bell rang, signaling it was time for class. As Kagome walked towards class a thought struck her. Wait.. No… it can't be… Inuyasha knows that I told my friends he's my boyfriend? "OSUWARI!!!!" she screamed at the top of her lungs, just in case for some reason, Inuyasha was able to hear her 500 years and a few miles a way from her.
Inuyasha opened his eyes. His necklace had just glowed faintly. Keh. Must be my imagination. he thought, and went back to waiting for his damn brother to get there.
~~~A few hours later~~~
Kagome was once again sprinting with mad speed towards home. This time because she wanted to get back to the Sengoku Jidai so she could sit Inuyasha a couple hundred times. When she got to her house she just ran past it and dropped her things in the well house. Jumping in, she imagined how many ways she would torture Inuyasha. Had anyone been there to notice, her normally brown eyes glimmered red…
After running a few more minutes, a small (calm) part of her idly thought All the walking is paying off. I would never have been able to run this long before. it said. She was still panting like a dog though, and as she neared the final stretch, she was grinning like a maniac.
She could see her goal. Kaede's hut, where she knew Inuyasha was. How she knew, she had no clue. Nor did she care. As she burst open the door she saw… "Eek! Sesshoumaru!"
This startled Sesshoumaru enough to stop attempting to kill Kaede. Kagome backed up and tripped on a rat that had just chosen that moment to scurry across. To put it simply, she fell flat on her ass.
"Ite!! Inuyasha, osuwari." she said, rubbing the sore part of her body. Sesshoumaru of course found this hilarious. He smirked to prove it.
"Oi! Wench! What was that for!"
"I'll tell you later."
"Wait! I told you to stay in your ti- er… fuck. I told you to stay!" he finished.
Sesshoumaru of course noticed this, but kept silent.
"Inuyasha, come here and help me up." she said from her vantage point on the ground.
Inuyasha snorted. "Fine." he got up and walked over.
"OSUWARI! OSUWARI OSUWARI OSUWARI OSUWARI!!!"
Inuyasha 6 feet under, but still alive, unlike most who were at that depth below ground. Whether he remained that way was seriously in doubt if the girl kept screaming 'that word' so many times. For Sesshoumaru, this had gone beyond the point of humor, and was now far into the realm of pitiful.
"Stop." he said simply.
"Eek!" she screamed again, and backed away. Inuyasha was still struggling to get out of the hole Kagome had dug for him with the power of a certain necklace, while Sesshoumaru was slowly walking towards Kagome, cracking the joints of his clawed hand menacingly…
_____________________________________________________________________________________
End of Chapter whatever chapter this is now.
Review my story! If you don't like it… lie! Fortunately for you I felt in a writing mood so I wrote 2 chapters today. *looks at clock on the corner of his monitor.* SHIT! It's the next day… today was yesterday now. Aw whatever. G'night. I'm going to submit this and go to sleep.
~Skit~
Inuyasha: Get out of my way! I'm trying to get to Kagome!
Hojo: No! Kagome's mine!
Inuyasha: Bitch! Your mom's a whore!
Hojo, recoiling in horror: SHE SAID SHE QUIT!!
~End Skit~
Muahahahahahahahahhahhaa. Okay that wasn't funny.
Authors Note: Watch Naruto or you are an evil bad bad person! If anyone has the scans of all the manga like from Toriyama World can you e-mail it to me? Please? I'll give you Hunter x Hunter or something! Watch HxH too. Or download the translated manga scans. Go to http://toriyamaworld.com/hxh/ to download them. AND GIVE ME THE TRANSLATED MANGA SCANS FOR NARUTO! Ever since viz licensed it I can't download them. Gr. I've only got up to volume 2.
I don't really have time to respond to everyone's reviews right now. It's 4 minutes after I submitted the last chapter. No one's really reviewed yet. And by the way. I fixed the whole Sess vs. Kouga thing. Now he gets a lot more beat up. A lot more. Broken ankle, tib/fib compound fracture, whole through his chest, and a kenatsu burn on his back. Happy now? Kouga got the shit beat out of him. But he's still alive. I need him to cause trouble in Inuyasha and Kagome's relationship. On with Kaede vs. Sesshoumaru in verbal warfare. Don't worry, Kaede won't die.
My leg is COMPLETELY NUMB!!! Shit. Aw damn. Now it's all tingly. Feels weird. And I was just thinking, I got some long ass authors notes here. 'joo see the last chapter's one where I was explaining the clan things? Damn.
I scoff at you Sess/Kag people. I assure you this is not a Sess/Kag fic. Or an Sess/Inu fic. Seriously what is wrong with you people? They're half brothers. Sheesh. Or even a Miro/Sess or Sess/Kaede or anything. Lol. I think I'll make a pairing list.
Pairing List: Inu/Kag, Hojo on crack thinking its Hojo/Kag, Kouga same as Hojo, Miro/San, Sess/ Rin sorta. She's only like 7 right now.
I think I need to straighten out the timeline here. Ok. Sesshoumaru arrived at the village the day after the new moon. At around 5 PM. Alright?
Recap. Kaede walks in on a very pissed off Sesshoumaru and tries to shoot him.
_____________________________________________________________________________________
"Youkai!" she exclaimed. Her old age must have been sneaking up on her for her not to notice such a powerful youki! She quickly brought up her bow and fired.
Sesshoumaru of course merely caught it and snapped it like the twig it was. "Human, you dare attack this Sesshoumaru? You should be groveling on your knees in my presence!" he stated imperiously.
Silence.
"You must be Inuyasha's brother." stated Kaede calmly.
If you were to look very very closely, you would be able to see a microscopic sweat-drop on Sesshoumaru's forhead, just above and right of the crescent moon mark. But Kaede only had one eye so she missed it.
"Inuyasha' s _half_ brother." he added in what seemed like an impotent rage. But Sesshoumaru never had an _impotent_ rage. If someone annoyed him, they died. But for some reason he didn't feel like killing this human. She had guts, which was extremely rare among the sniveling wretches that he was familiar with. "I could kill you for that." he added.
"How rude." stated Kaede.
"Wench! I am Lord of the Western Lands!" He shouted. This wench is infuriating!
"Now you sound like your _half_ brother." she said, stressing the half to annoy him.
"I should kill you where you stand."
"This is my hut."
"I'm lord of all the western lands." he added. I'll just beat her at her own game. he thought smugly.
"Except for my hut." she said, narrowing her good eye.
What the hell? he found himself thinking. He never broke his cool mask though.
"Then consider this a hostile take-over of the lands you claim."
"You would fight your half-brother for a hut?" she asked. "How foolish."
"Why would the mongrel care if I killed you."
"He wouldn't."
"Then you die." he said.
"But Kagome would." she said, just as Sesshoumaru was readying his claws.
"Hmph. That stupid human Inuyasha intends to be his mate, but doesn't even have his intent-claim on? Idiot. Choosing a human mate."
"What of the human child that follows you around."
This bitch is getting to nosy. Sesshoumaru thought. He was about to kill her anyway, when Inuyasha opened the door. The stupid miko had distracted him enough not to notice his brother dragging two deer carcasses. If you don't know, dragging 2 deer carcasses makes a hell of a lot of noise.
"Kaede-baba, move your wrinkled ass." he said. The miko complied out of a thing not akin to fear for her life, but more like a feeling of not wanting to lose it. She knew the full blooded youkai was searching for an excuse to kill her, and he might even use not complying with his brother as that excuse.
"Which one do you want, Sesshoumaru _sama_" he asked sarcastically.
"Both. I have servants. Cook the smaller one for Rin and Jaken."
"There is no way in hell you're getting both of them, _and_ making me cook one of them!" he screamed, rolling up his sleeve as if to punch his brother. Sesshoumaru knew it was a bluff, and called it. He stood and flexed a claw, allowing a small drop of venom to fall off of it. It made a whole in the floor.
"Inuyasha, you will clean the blood off my floor and repair the damaged section later." stated Kaede with all of her miko imperialism.
"What the FUCK? Do I look like a damn slave?" he asked.
"Inuyasha, osuwari." said Kaede calmly.
Inuyasha crashed to the ground, which came as a surprise to both Inuyasha and Sesshoumaru.
"Hahahaha." Sesshoumaru let a small laugh escape his lips. "You let a wrinkled prune subdue you, Inuyasha."
"WHAT IN THE HELL WAS THAT?" he screamed while getting up. "I thought only Kagome could do that?!?!"
"I did put that rosary on you." she simply stated.
"Prepare my food, mongrel." said Sesshoumaru. "Or I may have the walking prune subdue you." he said with a smirk. He acted like it was stupid of Inuyasha to be subdued by the necklace, but like many other youkai, he'd heard tales of prayer-bead necklaces that had stopped Demon Lords in their tracks. They said it was a lost art to mikos though. Obviously the servants at his palace were wrong.
"You will have no one do anything, young one."
Sesshoumaru smirked. A chance at victory in the game of verbal war he had been playing with the miko? Perhaps. "How old are you, miko." he asked.
"How old are you?" she countered.
Like Inuyasha, he had also forgotten his age. He only knew it within fifty or so years. After all, youkai were immortal. It wasn't the years that killed you, but other youkai. "450 years, human." he stated victoriously.
"Then you have only been of age for 350 years, am I correct?"
He almost frowned. Almost. "Yes." he said.
"Which is the human equivalent of only 7 years. You still have 550 before you reach agelessness, pup. I'm still comparatively older." she said.
Sesshoumaru made as if he were going to kill her, and Inuyasha wasn't particularly inclined to stop him at that point.
_____________________________________________________________________________________
Now we switch to Kagome's point of view, to see what has been happening to her…
_____________________________________________________________________________________
"Kagome honey, hurry up. You're going to be late for school." her mother told her.
"Bye mama, I've gotta go!" she said oblivious of what her mother had said earlier. She ran by without saying another word.
I'm gonna be late, I'm gonna be late, I'm gonna be late, I'm gonna be late, I'm gonna be late!!! she thought frantically as she was trying to set a new distance-between-the-Higurashi-Shrine-to-the-school world record for running. When she finally got there, she'd immediately spotted Eri.
"Hi Eri! What have I missed?" she asked cheerfully.
"Oh nothing much. You know the foreign exchange student from America? She got in trouble for correcting the English teacher! It was so funny! She has a weeks detention for insubordination!" She kept on talking like this for about 3 minutes. Then, almost as an afterthought she added, "Oh, and your cousin came looking for you the other day. You know the one with long white hair? Omigosh he was so cute! And the red haori and hakata he was wearing! Oooo! Too bad he's engaged."
Kagome had a sinking feeling all of a sudden. White hair? Red haori? CUTE? "INUYASHA I'M GOING TO GET YOU FOR THIS!!!" she screamed. What is he thinking stalking me and talking to my friends. "What did you tell him. Tell me. Now." she said in an urgent voice between clenched teeth.
Eri was afraid. "Um. He. Er. He was um."
"SPIT IT OUT ALREADY!!!" Kagome screamed.
"He w-w-waslookingforyourboyfriendsbecausehewantedtoprotectyouandhewaslookingforthe-"
"TAKE A BREATH!! I can't understand you." she said, trying to calm down.
"He was looking for your boyfriends because he said he wanted to protect you and he was looking for the violent selfish one especially because he didn't think you should be going out with someone like that." she said, still in one breath, but not so fast. It was still in a quick monotone though. "And he seemed to know the violent jealous one. Inulasha."
"That's InuYASHA and he knew him because THAT WAS HIM YOU DOLT!!" she screamed.
"Oh. Gomen…"
"No I'm sorry Eri." she said with a sigh. "I guess I should tell you this now. He's not actually my boyfriend." she said in a depressed tone.
"What? Then how can he be a two-timer?" she asked. "That's the one part you're always the most worked up about." she added.
"Well he acts like my boyfriend! He just denies everything. He gets all jealous and tries to kill people when they kidnap me or grope me." she said defensively.
"YOU'VE BEEN KIDNAPPED?" she asked.
"Er. Only by Kouga! And Kouga is almost as bad. He thinks I'm 'his woman'."
"Who is it that keeps trying to grope you??" she asked with less volume but the same amount of shock.
"It's just Miroku!" she said defensively again. "Anyways, I think he stopped when Inuyasha nearly broke his arm!" she said.
"And you're mad about that??" she asked.
"Err… this is all coming out wrong!" she screamed just as the bell rang, signaling it was time for class. As Kagome walked towards class a thought struck her. Wait.. No… it can't be… Inuyasha knows that I told my friends he's my boyfriend? "OSUWARI!!!!" she screamed at the top of her lungs, just in case for some reason, Inuyasha was able to hear her 500 years and a few miles a way from her.
Inuyasha opened his eyes. His necklace had just glowed faintly. Keh. Must be my imagination. he thought, and went back to waiting for his damn brother to get there.
~~~A few hours later~~~
Kagome was once again sprinting with mad speed towards home. This time because she wanted to get back to the Sengoku Jidai so she could sit Inuyasha a couple hundred times. When she got to her house she just ran past it and dropped her things in the well house. Jumping in, she imagined how many ways she would torture Inuyasha. Had anyone been there to notice, her normally brown eyes glimmered red…
After running a few more minutes, a small (calm) part of her idly thought All the walking is paying off. I would never have been able to run this long before. it said. She was still panting like a dog though, and as she neared the final stretch, she was grinning like a maniac.
She could see her goal. Kaede's hut, where she knew Inuyasha was. How she knew, she had no clue. Nor did she care. As she burst open the door she saw… "Eek! Sesshoumaru!"
This startled Sesshoumaru enough to stop attempting to kill Kaede. Kagome backed up and tripped on a rat that had just chosen that moment to scurry across. To put it simply, she fell flat on her ass.
"Ite!! Inuyasha, osuwari." she said, rubbing the sore part of her body. Sesshoumaru of course found this hilarious. He smirked to prove it.
"Oi! Wench! What was that for!"
"I'll tell you later."
"Wait! I told you to stay in your ti- er… fuck. I told you to stay!" he finished.
Sesshoumaru of course noticed this, but kept silent.
"Inuyasha, come here and help me up." she said from her vantage point on the ground.
Inuyasha snorted. "Fine." he got up and walked over.
"OSUWARI! OSUWARI OSUWARI OSUWARI OSUWARI!!!"
Inuyasha 6 feet under, but still alive, unlike most who were at that depth below ground. Whether he remained that way was seriously in doubt if the girl kept screaming 'that word' so many times. For Sesshoumaru, this had gone beyond the point of humor, and was now far into the realm of pitiful.
"Stop." he said simply.
"Eek!" she screamed again, and backed away. Inuyasha was still struggling to get out of the hole Kagome had dug for him with the power of a certain necklace, while Sesshoumaru was slowly walking towards Kagome, cracking the joints of his clawed hand menacingly…
_____________________________________________________________________________________
End of Chapter whatever chapter this is now.
Review my story! If you don't like it… lie! Fortunately for you I felt in a writing mood so I wrote 2 chapters today. *looks at clock on the corner of his monitor.* SHIT! It's the next day… today was yesterday now. Aw whatever. G'night. I'm going to submit this and go to sleep.