Disclaimer:
Aatash: (singing) Reno is mine, Reno is mine, Reno is mine...
Natsuki: (smashes a mallet on her head) In your dreams.
===================================================
Thank yous:
Cat Connolly: (grin) These FF7 characters are just soo delicious, aren't they? Yeah, maybe Rufus might want to infiltrate AVALANCHE and destroy them from within. (rofl) Thanks for reviewing!
Rappy28: Ooh, do I detect a Reno lover? (purrs) Join the club. Yep, got to love those Turks. XD Oh, and Rufus. (Rufus: Admit it. You forgot about me.) (ignore) Thank you for the review!
Ickle-Wicca-Girl: Nice nick. (grin) Glad you like new Rufus image! ^_~
chibilinnet: Whoaa. Need any help? (holds up two pairs of handcuffs, ignoring Rufus's and Cloud's cursing) Thanks for the review! ^o^ And uh...Rae too. (laughs)
Yashamon: Thank you ever so much for pursuing the fic and reviewing again! (gives you a hug and a cookie)
Braided_Baka_girl: Out of curiosity, any relations with female Ranma from Ranma 1/2? O.o (grin) I'll update, don't worry. P Thanks for reviewing!
Faith: (whee) There'll be more! I'm having as much fun as you guys! Thank you for the review!
Shadow Knight: Beware of what you wish for, dear. (evil snicker) Thanks for the review!
Neko Kuroban: Your wish is my command. ^-^ Unfortunately, if your taste doesn't go towards Tseng/Reno well...Tseng's question might not be very funny. ^^;; Thank you for the review!
============================================
"Hmm..." Reno smirked at his leader, causing the dark-haired Turk to shift uncomfortably. "We've got to ask something that will make him really squi-"
"...how often?" Rude asked cryptically.
Tseng quirked an eyebrow at him. Rude rubbed his bald head in a rather sheepish manner, before asking again. "...how often...do you do it?"
There was a long pause, as the redness slowly crept up the Turk leader's neck and onto his face. Reno was staring disbelievingly at his colleague, eyes popping, while Elena blinked several times, evidently confused by the question. She tapped Reno's shoulder, her voice breaking the tensed hush that fell in the hall. "Do what?"
That snapped Reno out of his shock. "Sex, moron. What else?"
Tseng could have sworn that was steam pouring out of the girl's ears. She shrieked, "What?! With who?!"
There followed another long bout of silence.
"Oh," Elena finally said intelligently as she averted her burning face to avoid Reno's smirk.
Tseng coughed. "Must I answer this?"
"Wait, hold it!" Reno held a hand up, counting with the other. "Our ol' Rude here's spoken 6 words in total! This calls for a drink!" Immediately, he made a beeline for the wine glasses. After they had chugged down the strong drink, attention returned to the Wutain Turk who almost cringed at being in the spotlight.
"Uh...how many times..." Tseng coughed again.
"I um...I need to go to the bathroom!" Elena squealed, before darting out of the hall.
"Prissy," Reno snorted after his colleague.
Tseng fingered his wine glass, eyes trained to the marble tiles on the floor. "Well...I don't quite...remember..."
"Every time and every where I'd say."
"Reno!" his leader bellowed, his face practically glowing. "That is -not- what I was going to say!"
"What?" the redhead pouted. "I'm trying to help out here."
Rude let loose an audible snicker. Reno's eyebrows shot straight up into his unruly bangs. "What's with you, drunk or something?"
"...amused."
Tseng closed his eyes and took a deep breath to calm his frayed nerves. "Only at night or when we have a moment of privacy. I have answered the question," he said with an air of finality in his voice, his face returning to its passive expression as the blush faded. "Let's move on."
"...office hours?" Rude queried curiously.
"Let's move on," Tseng repeated firmly.
"In his office, hell yeah," Reno confirmed for his lover, guffawing as the dark-haired Turk narrowed his eyes at him in mock fury to hide his embarrassment. "It's my turn isn't it? Give me a dare!"
Elena popped her head in the hall. "Um...is it over?"
"Yep, it's my turn now, babe! Got a good dare for me?" Reno waved to her.
She returned to her seat, pondering carefully. "Hmm...President Rufus is still having a bath, isn't he?"
Rude nodded, gesturing at the stairs to indicate that the young blond was still up there. Rubbing her hands in evil intent, Elena grinned at Reno. "Okay, I dare you to spy on him!"
The look on Tseng's face was highly disapproving at Reno's swift agreement. Before the redhead could make a single step onto the staircase, his leader called out, "That's too easy considering you're more than willing to do it."
Bounding over, Reno winked roguishly at Tseng. "You're just jealous, aren't you koi?"
"Maybe." Tseng's lips twitched at the corners, threatening to produce a smile. "I have another idea."
*
Reno stared at the large flock of beautiful white doves pecking at the ground and scratching it in search for edible food outside the mansion. Grimacing, he turned to face the other Turks, with Tseng at the lead, eyes twinkling with hilarity. "Tell me again what I have to do."
"Feed them," Tseng said simply as he took Reno's hand and poured a generous amount of dry sunflower seeds in it.
"Feed?" His emerald orbs were bulging out of their sockets. "You realise that I'll have to go -near- those things?"
Elena blinked. "Are you scared of doves Reno?"
"Yes!" the redhead snapped irritably. Elena broke into peals of laughter, while Rude grinned. "Shut up, damn it! This isn't funny!"
"Just get it over with Reno," Tseng advised casually.
Reno told his leader to do something so obscene that Elena stopped and gasped in astonishment. Satisfied, the Turk drew in a deep breath, murmured a few encouraging phrases to himself and ventured towards the flock. As he came nearer to the birds, he took a tentative step forward and reluctantly pushed his hand towards them.
A dove looked up from its scratching and cooed questioningly.
"ACK!" yelped Reno as he leapt backwards. "Stop laughing!" he roared to his colleagues at the entrance. "It isn't -funny-!!"
Swearing, the redhead tried again. This time, several doves responded to the free food. A little too enthusiastically.
"AAAAAAHH, MURDER!!!"
Hearing a scream, Rufus pulled on his jacket and peered out his window. He stared, mouth open. "...is that Reno running from my pet doves?"
Inside the mansion, the servants shook their heads. Turks and their peculiarly masochistic hobbies.
Elena collapsed helplessly onto Rude, filled with uncontrollable giggles at the sight of dozens of harmless but hungry white birds surrounding the terrified Turk. Even Rude was holding his sides, laughing his head off. Deciding that his poor lover had suffered enough, Tseng ran out to where he was, shooing the birds away.
Curled up in a fetus position, Reno had his hands over his head, protecting it from the sharp beaks of his attackers. Resisting the urge to chuckle at his Turk's predicament, Tseng squatted down beside him, patting his back reassuringly. "It's all right Reno, I've chased the doves away."
The redhead sobbed in reply.
Tseng's dark eyes softened before enveloping Reno in a gentle hug. "I'm sorry," he apologised softly. "But it's all over now. See, the birds are gone."
"I hate doves," Reno finally spoke, his voice cracking slightly. "I also hate women called Elena."
"I know, koi. Let's go back in first."
Reno stood up with a sigh. "Okay."
*
"Would anyone care to explain why Reno was screaming like a girl and running from my doves?"
Tseng glanced guiltily at the sulking redhead, before answering the President. "He was carrying out a dare, Sir."
"He's afraid of doves!" Elena revealed, cracking up once again.
"Go stuff your inflated head down the john," Reno snarled.
"Why, you-you-"
"Elena," Tseng said warningly, slipping a comforting arm round Reno's shoulders. "That's enough."
Rufus arched an eyebrow at his devil-may-care Turk. "Doves, Reno?"
"I don't want to talk about it."
"As you wish." Testing the silkiness of his hair, Rufus flipped it back. "Whose turn is it?"
"...truth," Rude said, pointing to himself.
Rufus beat his Turks in terms of speed to ask the most infamous question posed to the bald man. "Why do you wear glasses all the time? And what is the colour of your eyes anyway?"
A momentary pause came as Rude's face took on a contemplative expression. Everyone in the hall waited with bated breath for the answer. Finally, the man spoke.
"...secret."
Unable to hold in his pent up frustrations, Reno hurled his wine glass at his colleague who caught the flying projectile easily. "What kind of a frigging answer is that?!"
"Yeah!" Elena agreed fiercely. "You're supposed to tell the truth!"
Tseng sighed. "I suppose it is true that it's a secret."
"But," the girl spluttered, "But he has to tell us...the secret I mean!"
"Yes," Rufus's gaze never faltered from Rude. "Tell us."
The bald Turk scratched his chin, then shrugged. "...hazel, green mako specks. Glasses...protect glare."
"Glare?" Elena asked.
"...light. Mako induces...pupil enlargement."
"This calls for a drink," Rufus announced, pouring the Belgian beer out for everyone. Rude silently held out the two wine glasses allowing the President to fill them up before returning one of them to Reno. The redhead snatched it back with a scowl and downed the contents.
A timid maid meekly approached her employer. "Sir? The kitchen is ready."
"Very well," Rufus dismissed the girl who scampered away like a frightened mouse. "It's all yours, Turks. I'll just adjourn to my study to read."
As the quartet followed another servant to the kitchen, Elena perked up suddenly, looking delighted. "Say, does this mean the game is over?"
"Not until you've had your turn," Reno growled dangerously.
Elena squeaked and hid behind Rude. Tseng clicked his tongue. "Be nice, Reno."
"I am being nice. If I wasn't she would've been horribly maimed by now."
===============================================
Author's notes:
Yes, I am a cruel sadist. To give Reno such a terribly humiliating phobia...(sniffs) I'm ashamed of myself. Never mind, that gave me an excuse for a Tseng/Reno fluff moment. (grins) Ya happy, Natsuki chan? Please review, thank you! ^_^
Oh, one more thing. I'm going to Hong Kong for the next 6 days, so there will be no update until after that. (bows) I apologise for the wait. Rest assured, the next chapter will be up right after I return!
Just to give you a hint: the Turks will be cooking in the next chapter. Disaster? Duuuh. (grins)
Aatash: (singing) Reno is mine, Reno is mine, Reno is mine...
Natsuki: (smashes a mallet on her head) In your dreams.
===================================================
Thank yous:
Cat Connolly: (grin) These FF7 characters are just soo delicious, aren't they? Yeah, maybe Rufus might want to infiltrate AVALANCHE and destroy them from within. (rofl) Thanks for reviewing!
Rappy28: Ooh, do I detect a Reno lover? (purrs) Join the club. Yep, got to love those Turks. XD Oh, and Rufus. (Rufus: Admit it. You forgot about me.) (ignore) Thank you for the review!
Ickle-Wicca-Girl: Nice nick. (grin) Glad you like new Rufus image! ^_~
chibilinnet: Whoaa. Need any help? (holds up two pairs of handcuffs, ignoring Rufus's and Cloud's cursing) Thanks for the review! ^o^ And uh...Rae too. (laughs)
Yashamon: Thank you ever so much for pursuing the fic and reviewing again! (gives you a hug and a cookie)
Braided_Baka_girl: Out of curiosity, any relations with female Ranma from Ranma 1/2? O.o (grin) I'll update, don't worry. P Thanks for reviewing!
Faith: (whee) There'll be more! I'm having as much fun as you guys! Thank you for the review!
Shadow Knight: Beware of what you wish for, dear. (evil snicker) Thanks for the review!
Neko Kuroban: Your wish is my command. ^-^ Unfortunately, if your taste doesn't go towards Tseng/Reno well...Tseng's question might not be very funny. ^^;; Thank you for the review!
============================================
"Hmm..." Reno smirked at his leader, causing the dark-haired Turk to shift uncomfortably. "We've got to ask something that will make him really squi-"
"...how often?" Rude asked cryptically.
Tseng quirked an eyebrow at him. Rude rubbed his bald head in a rather sheepish manner, before asking again. "...how often...do you do it?"
There was a long pause, as the redness slowly crept up the Turk leader's neck and onto his face. Reno was staring disbelievingly at his colleague, eyes popping, while Elena blinked several times, evidently confused by the question. She tapped Reno's shoulder, her voice breaking the tensed hush that fell in the hall. "Do what?"
That snapped Reno out of his shock. "Sex, moron. What else?"
Tseng could have sworn that was steam pouring out of the girl's ears. She shrieked, "What?! With who?!"
There followed another long bout of silence.
"Oh," Elena finally said intelligently as she averted her burning face to avoid Reno's smirk.
Tseng coughed. "Must I answer this?"
"Wait, hold it!" Reno held a hand up, counting with the other. "Our ol' Rude here's spoken 6 words in total! This calls for a drink!" Immediately, he made a beeline for the wine glasses. After they had chugged down the strong drink, attention returned to the Wutain Turk who almost cringed at being in the spotlight.
"Uh...how many times..." Tseng coughed again.
"I um...I need to go to the bathroom!" Elena squealed, before darting out of the hall.
"Prissy," Reno snorted after his colleague.
Tseng fingered his wine glass, eyes trained to the marble tiles on the floor. "Well...I don't quite...remember..."
"Every time and every where I'd say."
"Reno!" his leader bellowed, his face practically glowing. "That is -not- what I was going to say!"
"What?" the redhead pouted. "I'm trying to help out here."
Rude let loose an audible snicker. Reno's eyebrows shot straight up into his unruly bangs. "What's with you, drunk or something?"
"...amused."
Tseng closed his eyes and took a deep breath to calm his frayed nerves. "Only at night or when we have a moment of privacy. I have answered the question," he said with an air of finality in his voice, his face returning to its passive expression as the blush faded. "Let's move on."
"...office hours?" Rude queried curiously.
"Let's move on," Tseng repeated firmly.
"In his office, hell yeah," Reno confirmed for his lover, guffawing as the dark-haired Turk narrowed his eyes at him in mock fury to hide his embarrassment. "It's my turn isn't it? Give me a dare!"
Elena popped her head in the hall. "Um...is it over?"
"Yep, it's my turn now, babe! Got a good dare for me?" Reno waved to her.
She returned to her seat, pondering carefully. "Hmm...President Rufus is still having a bath, isn't he?"
Rude nodded, gesturing at the stairs to indicate that the young blond was still up there. Rubbing her hands in evil intent, Elena grinned at Reno. "Okay, I dare you to spy on him!"
The look on Tseng's face was highly disapproving at Reno's swift agreement. Before the redhead could make a single step onto the staircase, his leader called out, "That's too easy considering you're more than willing to do it."
Bounding over, Reno winked roguishly at Tseng. "You're just jealous, aren't you koi?"
"Maybe." Tseng's lips twitched at the corners, threatening to produce a smile. "I have another idea."
*
Reno stared at the large flock of beautiful white doves pecking at the ground and scratching it in search for edible food outside the mansion. Grimacing, he turned to face the other Turks, with Tseng at the lead, eyes twinkling with hilarity. "Tell me again what I have to do."
"Feed them," Tseng said simply as he took Reno's hand and poured a generous amount of dry sunflower seeds in it.
"Feed?" His emerald orbs were bulging out of their sockets. "You realise that I'll have to go -near- those things?"
Elena blinked. "Are you scared of doves Reno?"
"Yes!" the redhead snapped irritably. Elena broke into peals of laughter, while Rude grinned. "Shut up, damn it! This isn't funny!"
"Just get it over with Reno," Tseng advised casually.
Reno told his leader to do something so obscene that Elena stopped and gasped in astonishment. Satisfied, the Turk drew in a deep breath, murmured a few encouraging phrases to himself and ventured towards the flock. As he came nearer to the birds, he took a tentative step forward and reluctantly pushed his hand towards them.
A dove looked up from its scratching and cooed questioningly.
"ACK!" yelped Reno as he leapt backwards. "Stop laughing!" he roared to his colleagues at the entrance. "It isn't -funny-!!"
Swearing, the redhead tried again. This time, several doves responded to the free food. A little too enthusiastically.
"AAAAAAHH, MURDER!!!"
Hearing a scream, Rufus pulled on his jacket and peered out his window. He stared, mouth open. "...is that Reno running from my pet doves?"
Inside the mansion, the servants shook their heads. Turks and their peculiarly masochistic hobbies.
Elena collapsed helplessly onto Rude, filled with uncontrollable giggles at the sight of dozens of harmless but hungry white birds surrounding the terrified Turk. Even Rude was holding his sides, laughing his head off. Deciding that his poor lover had suffered enough, Tseng ran out to where he was, shooing the birds away.
Curled up in a fetus position, Reno had his hands over his head, protecting it from the sharp beaks of his attackers. Resisting the urge to chuckle at his Turk's predicament, Tseng squatted down beside him, patting his back reassuringly. "It's all right Reno, I've chased the doves away."
The redhead sobbed in reply.
Tseng's dark eyes softened before enveloping Reno in a gentle hug. "I'm sorry," he apologised softly. "But it's all over now. See, the birds are gone."
"I hate doves," Reno finally spoke, his voice cracking slightly. "I also hate women called Elena."
"I know, koi. Let's go back in first."
Reno stood up with a sigh. "Okay."
*
"Would anyone care to explain why Reno was screaming like a girl and running from my doves?"
Tseng glanced guiltily at the sulking redhead, before answering the President. "He was carrying out a dare, Sir."
"He's afraid of doves!" Elena revealed, cracking up once again.
"Go stuff your inflated head down the john," Reno snarled.
"Why, you-you-"
"Elena," Tseng said warningly, slipping a comforting arm round Reno's shoulders. "That's enough."
Rufus arched an eyebrow at his devil-may-care Turk. "Doves, Reno?"
"I don't want to talk about it."
"As you wish." Testing the silkiness of his hair, Rufus flipped it back. "Whose turn is it?"
"...truth," Rude said, pointing to himself.
Rufus beat his Turks in terms of speed to ask the most infamous question posed to the bald man. "Why do you wear glasses all the time? And what is the colour of your eyes anyway?"
A momentary pause came as Rude's face took on a contemplative expression. Everyone in the hall waited with bated breath for the answer. Finally, the man spoke.
"...secret."
Unable to hold in his pent up frustrations, Reno hurled his wine glass at his colleague who caught the flying projectile easily. "What kind of a frigging answer is that?!"
"Yeah!" Elena agreed fiercely. "You're supposed to tell the truth!"
Tseng sighed. "I suppose it is true that it's a secret."
"But," the girl spluttered, "But he has to tell us...the secret I mean!"
"Yes," Rufus's gaze never faltered from Rude. "Tell us."
The bald Turk scratched his chin, then shrugged. "...hazel, green mako specks. Glasses...protect glare."
"Glare?" Elena asked.
"...light. Mako induces...pupil enlargement."
"This calls for a drink," Rufus announced, pouring the Belgian beer out for everyone. Rude silently held out the two wine glasses allowing the President to fill them up before returning one of them to Reno. The redhead snatched it back with a scowl and downed the contents.
A timid maid meekly approached her employer. "Sir? The kitchen is ready."
"Very well," Rufus dismissed the girl who scampered away like a frightened mouse. "It's all yours, Turks. I'll just adjourn to my study to read."
As the quartet followed another servant to the kitchen, Elena perked up suddenly, looking delighted. "Say, does this mean the game is over?"
"Not until you've had your turn," Reno growled dangerously.
Elena squeaked and hid behind Rude. Tseng clicked his tongue. "Be nice, Reno."
"I am being nice. If I wasn't she would've been horribly maimed by now."
===============================================
Author's notes:
Yes, I am a cruel sadist. To give Reno such a terribly humiliating phobia...(sniffs) I'm ashamed of myself. Never mind, that gave me an excuse for a Tseng/Reno fluff moment. (grins) Ya happy, Natsuki chan? Please review, thank you! ^_^
Oh, one more thing. I'm going to Hong Kong for the next 6 days, so there will be no update until after that. (bows) I apologise for the wait. Rest assured, the next chapter will be up right after I return!
Just to give you a hint: the Turks will be cooking in the next chapter. Disaster? Duuuh. (grins)