Sorry, this is short. Very short.

Heart Alone

Fuck.

I can't believe I did that.

I can't believe I hurt her like that.

I am nothing.

I am a monster.

Zelgadis sat down on the side of the dirt road with his head in his hands, refusing to look at the passers-by on their way to the white magic capitol of Saillune.

It had started out as a simple plan. Come back, give her the bracelet, leave. He needed to give it back. Every night for the past year he had sat by his campfire, or whichever inn's he happened to be at campfire, and just looked at the bracelet. Held it in his hands, and thought, I could go back. I could just end this rat race and go see her… Every time, he'd clipped it back onto his canteen and gone to bed. Until one night, when his thoughts had traveled a line of thought that he hadn't ever encountered before.

How long had I been on the road, then? About a year. And all the time, then, Amelia had stayed in Saillune, waiting. Waiting for me to come back. A year of her life, she had waited. A year of her life she had wasted. Wasted on me. I'm not worth it. There's someone out there who can love her more than I can, and whoever that lucky son of a bitch is, he deserves her.

She deserves better than me… I can't ask her to love this body. I can't ask her to wait for me forever while I roam all over looking for a cure – and I can't ask her to come with me either.

She'll get over it, start a life with someone else. It's the best way.

It had all seemed so simple, at first. But upon seeing the reality, of seeing Amelia, Zelgadis had nearly backed out. When she'd rushed up to greet him, he'd wanted nothing more than to hug her back. It had taken self-control like iron to keep himself from moving.

When she said she wanted him to stay… I just got so angry. Couldn't she see it was for the best? Couldn't she see that I was doing her a favor? So I lost my temper and let it out on the person who deserved it least. I was a fool.

Zelgadis had run out the door, knowing that if he saw her crying he wouldn't be able to leave. The last words she'd said as he left echoed inside the hollow space in his chest.

"You don't care at all! You don't even care that I love you!"