A blonde head peeped out from behind the ornately carved door and liquid silver eyes beneath dark brows flashed about the darkened halls of Rivendell mischievously.
"Oooooh Aragorn!!" trilled Legolas sweetly, "Where are you, my love?"
The rest of the slim elvish body appeared from behind the door and stepped lightly into the bedroom. His cat mouth smirking Legolas approached the lump on the four poster bed with the innate stealth of his kind.
"My darling ranger!!!" he cooed softly, "Wake up!! I brought my Strider-poo a present!!"
Legolas chuckled as he grasped the edge of the velvet coverlet and tugged gently. He was soooo sure that his Aragorn-baby was going to love the chocolate cherries he spent all day making. He was gonna feed them to his cutie ranger one by one. Grinning with anticipation Legolas yanked the covers of the bed and sealed Aragorn's lips with a deep kiss.
Legolas was shocked when Aragorn let out a piercing scream and shoved him to the floor. A figure that was decidedly NOT Aragorn leapt out of the bed and grabbed Aragorn's sword which lay forgotten on floor. As Legolas still sat bemused and confuddled on the floor Arwen grabbed him by the hair and touched the glittering sword to his throat.
"What are you doing?" he eyes flashed dangerously.
"B-b-but where's Strider-poo?" Legolas mewed pitifully.
Aragorn's tousled head appeared behind Arwen's shoulder. "Errrrrrr….. Hi Legolas!"
"A-a-aragorn?" Legolas sobbed.
"What's the meaning of this, Aragorn?" Arwen asked.
"Well, er…." Aragorn scratched his head and looked sheepish, "Ah- Ahem… Well, err…. Heh… Arwen, dear… You know I got home last night and well, it had been awhile so I came to see you, well er… I didn't realize I walked into Legolas' room by accident and you know when he hasn't dyed his hair… well… you elves kinda all look alike, so… err…."
Arwen looked shocked "Aragorn how could you!!!"
Legolas wailed, "So you d-didn't mean it when you said I w-was the m-most beautiful elf in all of M-middle-Earth?"
Arwen put up the sword and gave Aragorn a LOOK. "Awww… c'mon Arwen! You are my only star" he said. She smiled and turned to him.
Legolas' eyes widened and he began to weep. Gathering his chocolate cherries he fled from the room.
"It's because I have roots!" The tall elf sobbed to himself "My Strider-poo doesn't like my roots!!" He popped a chocolate cherrie into his mouth and pouted.
"Aw now m'laddie, don't go bei'n all sad'like." A gruff voice appeared by Legolas' elbow. "C'mere now" Legolas bent close to his good friend Gimli's face and let the dwarf wipe away his tears with his beard.
"Ah now lad," Gimli said as he eyed the chocolates, "What's all this weep'in about?"
Legolas sighed and sat down. "Aragorn loves Arwen" He began to wail anew.
"There, there, boy." Gimli ate four cherries. "Ye'll be aright, plenty more fish in the sea, so they say. An' ye deserve a man of more substance."
Legolas looked at the half empty box of chocolates which Gimli was fast devouring. Yes, he thought, Aragorn was rather lacking in er… substance. An elf had to have standards, after all.
"Mmmm, m'laddie, these are deeelicious!!!" Gimli polished off the last cherry and put his arm around his friend. "Don't ye be frettin now, you'll put wrinkles on that pretty face!"
Legolas smiled as he looked down at the dwarf. Well, he thought, I like big butts and I cannot lie…..