Disclaimer: Do I really have to repeat myself? I do not own anything, so don't sue me. The song ' Sweetness' belongs to Jimmy Eat World.
Chapter 11: Sweetness'So tell me what do I need when the words lose their meaning.
I was spinning free with a little sweet and simple numbing me.
Yeah, stumble until you crawl.
Sinking into sweet uncertainty.
If you're listening.
Are you listening?'—Sweetness by Jimmy Eat World
Her silent tears surely ran down her pale cheeks, but they didn't know that. The crickets chirped in the distance, and the cool water against her skin made her shiver. All the while, she could taste her tears, the tears that were mingling with the clear, cold, lake water—something she had grown so accustomed to. The luminous moonlight shone on her, standing out significantly in the night sky. Surely it was late by now.
'They're probably wondering where I am.'
Using every ounce of will to drag herself out of the peaceful water, she climbed up, wrapping the thin towel around her, closing her eyes as the wind picked up, blowing her wet hair. She took a slow step forward, then another, until she was in the depths of the forest. She wanted to stay out here forever, in the quiet, where everything was perfect.
" Little girls shouldn't be out here after dark." That voice. With a shiver, she recognized it. Her eyes fluttered open, and sure enough, she saw those great gray eyes shining in the dark, and soon his blonde hair came into view. Her eyes averted to the tree that stood next to her, her thin lips pursing as she struggled to look away, to not give into those persuasive eyes of his.
" I was out for a night swim." She replied curtly. So, he was out here again, the same as he had been before. It was so evident that he was indifferent to the events of the night before, and just that fact made her heart sink low. Obviously he was out here to toy with her again.
" I see." He said slowly, lips curling up.
" Right. I'll be going then." She pushed past him, sighing with relief when she passed through. Her footsteps were quick and light, as she tried to see through the dark.
"Don't be like this." She halted. Whirling around, she narrowed her eyes, struggling to understand him.
"Excuse me?" she asked breathlessly. He was unaffected. His face remained stiff, and he was stoic.
" I said, ' Don't be like this.'" He repeated.
" Pardon me for saying so, but what the hell is that supposed to mean?" she whispered harshly.
" Don't play dumb, Ginny. I know why you're acting this way. It's because of last night, isn't it?" She looked down, shaking her head, wanting to deny it.
" No, it isn't." He smirked.
" Then why are you so angry?" he challenged.
" I'm not angry."
" Liar." He spat. " If you weren't, you wouldn't walk away from me. You—"
" Oh, I see how it is." Ginny cut in, eyes flashing. " If I weren't mad at you, I would never dare do such a thing? I would be, as usual, on my knees, hanging on to your every word—you know, silly, giddy, clumsy, loser Ginny, who can't even get angry. Is that it?!" she cried shrilly, taking a step back. His hand reached up and rubbed his forehead, as if he were pained.
" Gin—"
" I can't believe you, Draco Malfoy. How could I not be mad, or at the very least confused, when you walked away from me like that? Just when I thought I had everything figured out." At this, he turned away, jaws tightening.
" I don't know what you're talking about." Ginny scowled.
" Oh? Then how's this: Last night, we snogged. I—"
" It was just a—"
" No! You listen to me! I looked at you, and you looked at me, and I saw your eyes sparkle with warmth, with something—and I thought you were human. I thought we had something." She paused, licking her lips.
" So, tell me—was it just a kiss?" Draco's eyes flitted over to hers, and for a moment, she saw panic, with an edge of desperation. But as the wind howled, rattling the trees, they became closed up again.
" It was just a kiss, Virginia Weasley." Tears sprang to her eyes as she heard those words thrown at her so carelessly.
" Bull shit!!" she shrieked, stomping her foot. He did not reply.
"You're such an insensitive bastard—what is it, do you have no heart, do you not have any emotions—"
" I am an insensitive bastard. Deal with it." Ginny's eyes widened as she heard those words. Instinctively she raised her hand, and slapped him straight across his cheek, leaving a red welt amongst his pale skin. Bright red. And her hand trembled afterwards, tears filling in her eyes, but she did not snatch her hand away. As her hand stroked his cheek, his hand grabbed hers, eyes narrowed, shooting a wave of nausea through her as she registered just how much hate they harbored.
"I'm sorry you were fooled, Ms. Weasley." He murmured softly, almost regretfully. With those words, he walked away from her, disappearing within the deep dark shades of black in the trees, in the forest. And long after the conversation had grown old, long into the night, tears fell onto her pillow. Regret filled her and threatened to burst, and at that moment, she felt like the world would never be right. She felt the need to be relieved of all thoughts, and she felt the need to do something. But alas, the night wore on, and she did not get a wink of sleep.
As the sun very slowly peeked over the horizon, she felt an odd sort of peace. Like there was nothing left to help her situation, and frankly, nothing mattered anymore. She hated herself. She hated herself for being the way she was, for crawling up to Draco every time, and in the end being the one getting hurt, getting left behind. She wanted to do something right, to prove to herself she wasn't a complete failure, to feel worthy of her life, of everything she thought she had. But if one person, one puny person affected her this much, making her every though reflect upon him, perhaps she was not worthy of anything. Perhaps she was a weakling, with nothing to achieve, no hope, a failure. And more thoughts clamored in. Like how the swim competition was in 2 days. Like how she had no hope of winning. Looking mournfully upon the lightening window, she flung the covers over her, wishing the world would disappear.
~*~
" Ginny! Ginny, you here? Gin—"
A hand reached out and smacked Alison promptly on the waist.
" Ack!" she cried, jumping back reflexively. But upon staring at the hand closer, she realized it was Ginny's.
" Ginny!"
" Shut up, you." A gruff voice answered. Something was wrong with that voice. Flinging the covers over, Alison sighed.
" Oh, Gin…' she whispered, sitting down next to her. Ginny's face was wet with tears, and her eyes were bloodshot. She was miserable.
" Tell me what's on your mind." Ginny shook her head, hesitating. How could she ever tell Alison of her problems? She looked up to tell her this—and saw her eager face, a bright, concerned face, one of someone who was willing to listen to endless babbling for eternity, and still hang on to every word. A wave of relief washed over her, feeling a bit more secure. Hell, this was her fried, someone to confide in. And she spilled everything, crying, sobbing.
"Alison, I feel worthless. He's so unpredictable, and confusing, and—oh so wonderful! I-I just don't know what to do." Pausing, she turned a teary eye on her.
" It hurts right here, Ali." She whispered, patting the place her heart was. " It hurts so much, and I don't know if I can live with it." Alison bit her lip hard, feeling so helpless to watch her friend despair like so. Patting her hand, she tried to manage a weak smile.
" Oh, Gin. I don't know what to say—Although I know you're hurting, I know you—"
" Ali, help me! I'm so…confused. He treated me like dirt, blew me off, and yet, I still feel regret—of some sort." Ginny cried, rubbing her forehead depressingly. As Ginny despaired, her friend felt tears coming to her eyes, for it was all very evident.
" Fool." She spat, pursing her lips. Hugging her friend, she whispered in her ear.
" Ginny, don't you know? You're in love." As the words hit her, Ginny pulled back immediately, scowling heavily.
" What? No, I am not!" she protested, shaking her head, her brown eyes full of surprise.
Alison stared back at her, wide eyed, challenging her to think about it. And the more she thought about it, the more doubt filled her. With each passing moment she ached more with every heartbeat, and she knew. She knew the truth. Unwillingly, she had fallen for him. Virginia Weasley had hopelessly, painfully--fallen in love with Draco Malfoy.
A/N: Gosh. I want to write more of this chapter, but that seemed like a very good place to stop. This story is getting a bit sad. I'll go tell them to kiss and make-up real fast. Oh, yes. Review, please.