Disclaimer: I don't own LOTR, I don't own Santa, I don't own anything else
I might have mentioned in this sad little fic. However, I now own a
Legolas action figure. I got it for Christmas from my friend. That was
very nice of her.
This is my first LOTR story so if you're going to review and be mean to me then don't be really mean. *Realizing this makes no sense whatsoever I've decided to put an example.* Cough, cough. If you don't like me please don't say "I hate you! I wish you would drop off the face of the Earth! You suck!" Notice the meanness there. No, just say, "I really don't like you. I hope you fall off a cliff." As the authoress, I'm not trying to tell you what to say or force your reviews. If I wanted to do that I would just log in under a bunch of different names and review my own story 92 times. Well, anyway, I hope you enjoy the story.
Importante!! Yeah, I don't take Spanish so whatever. This story takes place while the Fellowship is staying in Rivendell. This is before they left on that oh so perilous journey to, you know, destroy the ring..I've always thought it was totally unfair how Santa made his Elves do everything. This is my story about it.
One day, Elrond sat in his Secret Special Place in Rivendell. He thought nobody knew about it. He was sadly mistaken. Galadriel used her mirror to show his Secret Special Place to any visitor who happened to wander into Lothlorien. Not only that, Arwen used her magic to show Elrond's Secret Special Place to all of the Elves in Rivendell. Also, Sauron and Saruman used their palantirs to look in on him often. Elrond's Secret Special Place was a moss house with a sliding rock door. It was very noticeable. That, however, is not this story. That is a story for another day.
On this day, Elrond sat in his Secret Special Place while he sat thinking about the problem with Arwen. He didn't want her to marry a stupid old ranger. She was much better than that. Sure, Aragorn would be the king of Gondor one day, but what did that matter? He was stealing Arwen. This also is not a story for today. You must be wondering why I'm telling you this then. It has some importance to the plot, right? Well, if you thought that you would be sadly mistaken. It doesn't really matter what Elrond is doing in his Secret Special Place; it just matters that he was there on that fateful day.
Elrond was sitting on a chair when he suddenly heard a noise. He decided to investigate because, being the powerful Elf that he is, he couldn't not investigate. (It would make him feel inferior. Besides, Legolas would laugh at him.) Elrond left his supposedly Secret Special Place and looked around. He was just getting ready to go back into his place when he suddenly felt very cold and very wet.he was very white too. That's right. Snow fell on him. A lot of snow.Elrond looked around angrily to find the source of the snow.
When he looked up he saw to his wonder a man with a red jacket and red pants. He had big black ugly boots and a freaky red hat. There was white trim all around his jacket and his hat. He was a very sinister looking man indeed. Elrond suddenly felt a pang of fear. The Fellowship was still in Rivendell. The ring was still in Rivendell. This man could be a minion of Sauron. He could be trying to steal the ring!
Elrond suddenly spun around and clutched at his shirt in fear. He started breathing loudly. "I'm hyperventilating!" He thought. He jumped back into his Secret Special Place and slid his rock door so it was covering up most of the entranceway. All that was left was a very small opening for Elrond to see out of so he could know how this minion of Sauron behaved. He watched as the man in the funny red jacket laughed evilly while he rounded up all of Elrond's people. They were in chains and being dragged along. Elrond knew what he must do. He pushed his rock aside and crawled out of his Secret Special Place. He ran up to the man in the funny red jacket and tried to attack him.
That did not go over to well, as the man gave an evil laugh and gave a sign to two of his lackeys who were waiting to attack Elrond. After all, they'd seen him go into his Secret Special Place. It was not very secret as you may remember. His two lackeys, who were some form of reindeer and actually were more of this man's slaves, kicked Elrond in the face. Elrond, being the great Elf that he is, did not lose consciousness; he merely fell down very hard onto the ground.
As the reindeer were putting Elrond in chains, because they're special reindeer with special powers who can have an opposable thumb for 11 months of the year, a really cool blonde Elf who was very hot and was awesome in battle and was incredibly awesome.(three guesses who it is).jumped over Elrond's Secret Special Place, shouted, "Gurth gothrim Tel'Quessir!"1 and shot five arrows. He hit each of the reindeer once, the evil man twice, and the evil guy's hat once.
The man shouted orders to his minions and they flew off, but not far. The really cool Elf ran over to Elrond and started undoing the chains. "Lord Elrond, are you all right?" He asked.
Elrond looked up at the other Elf. "Yes, Legolas, what's going on?"
Legolas looked around after he'd finished undoing the chains. "There is a fell voice on the air."
"What?" Elrond asked. He sat up.
"I have no time to explain. We must move on. We cannot linger." Legolas jumped up and started running. "Follow me, Lord Elrond."
Elrond followed Legolas to his (being Legolas's) Super Secret Place, which, in case anyone is wondering, actually is secret. Legolas's Super Secret Place is actually like Platform 9 ¾. It's a wall that when enchanted by Elven magic, allows those who Legolas allows inside. Seeing as Legolas doesn't even live in Rivendell, it took a lot of convincing on Arwen's part to create something like that. He had to do everything Arwen and Aragorn said for a month. Legolas shuddered at the memory.
"What is going on, Legolas?" Elrond demanded.
"They've taken most of us captive," Legolas said sadly. "That man you saw, the one with the sinister laugh.his name is Santa Clause." Legolas shuddered. "He is the leader of this expedition. His goal is to gather and enslave every Elf in Middle-Earth. Already, half of the Elves in Rivendell have been taken."
Legolas looked at Elrond. "Of those that haven't been taken, they're hiding in the back room of my Sup.uh.my hiding place. Arwen is with them."
Elrond gave a sigh of relief at this. "What about Frodo, though?" He asked. "The rest of the Fellowship? What happened to them?"
Legolas turned away and looked at the ground. "Aragorn and Boromir were thrown out of Rivendell. It seems Santa didn't have any use for them. He told them to go home and wait with their families for Christmas. Gandalf is nowhere to be found. I can't imagine Santa would want him. What purpose would he have for a wizard? After all, he's been concentrating on Elves and.as for the Hobbits.they have been taken. Only Pippin escaped, but the other three were taken by the evil of Santa. The Dwarf has also been taken, but we have reason to believe he is going to be used as a sacrifice."
Flashback to when Legolas found a note saying, "We're going to sacrifice the dwarf." Ok, back to the present.
"Then all is lost," Elrond said simply. "This minion of Sauron has the ring."
"Minion of Sauron?" Legolas asked, surprised. "He is indeed trying to steal the ring then?"
"I suppose, what other reason would he have to raid Rivendell?"
~*~
"If you would ask.I would give you the one ring." A brown haired hobbit said.
Santa glared menacingly at the Hobbit. "Silence!" He growled. "Dasher, Dancer!" He called. "I thought you had gathered up all the Elves that could fight back."
The two reindeer that had gotten shot by the arrows slowly walked up to Santa. "We thought we had too. This one is crafty, he is." That was Dasher.
"Yep. Very crafty indeed." Dancer.
"Whatever," Santa said. He used his evil powers to heal himself and his two reindeer. He then turned his attention to the three Hobbits that were sitting not five feet away from him.
"You.you are interesting creatures. Not tall enough to be Elves, yet beardless. Obviously you are not Dwarves. What are you then?" Santa wondered.
"Please, sir," Sam whimpered. "We're just Hobbits. We don't mean you no harm. We were just staying in Rivendell."
"Yes.perhaps." Santa turned his attention to Sam. "You are curious. Yes, most curious. You would fit in nicely in my Empire. Why a young.what is it, Hobbit? Yes, a young Hobbit of your stature could be perfect at my Empire. Just look at yourself. You have blonde hair.curly though it may be. Ah, and I do believe you have pointy ears. Ho ho ho." Santa gave his evil laugh.
Sam cowered while Santa laughed mockingly.
"Don't worry, Sam," Merry said. "We'll get out of this, and then we'll never be in a situation worse than this again. I for one, plan on never being taken prisoner ever again."
Santa now turned his attention back to Frodo. He noticed the ring that Frodo was holding out to him. "What is this?" He thought. "What is this you're holding out to me? It looks like a ring." Santa touched the ring that was in Frodo's palm. "It's such a small trinket, yet it is so beautiful. I would like to have it."
"No, Mr. Frodo!" Sam yelled. "Don't give it to him!"
Frodo pulled the ring back, but Santa got all evil and stuff, which happens when someone has seen the ring and it's taken away from them. Well, usually it just happens to someone who's had the ring before, but Santa is a special case.
"It's mine!" Santa yelled. "It's my precious! I found it. It's mine, I've taken it fair and square!"
Well, this thoroughly freaked the Hobbits out. Santa was just about to steal the ring when there was a bright flash of light. Suddenly, fireballs were being hurled at Santa and his reindeer. Miraculously, Frodo, Sam, and Merry were not hit. After Santa and the reindeer had run away, because let's face it, if you're being attacked by fireballs, are you going to stick around to be burned to death? I didn't think so.
After Santa had run away, it was revealed Gandalf was behind the attack! Well, good old Gandalf. Always running away until the last possible moment before you died and then he would save you. Gandalf took the Hobbits and ran back to Legolas's Super Secret Place. Legolas had told him about it.
Legolas and Elrond were sitting around in Legolas's Super Secret Place. Well, actually, Legolas wanted to go back out to save more Elves, but Elrond wouldn't let go of his legs.
"Lord Elrond, I'm going to have to ask you to let go of me," Legolas said for the 27th time.
"No," Elrond cried. "If you leave there won't be anyone to protect me!"
"You don't need protecting!" Legolas shouted as he tried to kick Elrond off. "You're supposed to be the leader of Rivendell! Now if you don't let go, I'm going to shoot you with an arrow!"
"You wouldn't dare," Elrond said.
A voice suddenly came from another invisible doorway that would only lead further into Legolas's Super Secret Place. "What is going on?"
Legolas and Elrond turned to see Arwen standing a little bit away from them.
"He won't let me go save more Elves!" Legolas accused.
"He's turned to the dark side," Elrond said as he quickly got up and dusted himself off. "Very bad business. I was tying to prevent him from causing any catastrophic event that might bring the end of the world."
Legolas then tried to run out of his Super Secret Place because, let's face it, when was he going to find a better chance than this? As he started running, someone else was coming inside. Let's think about this for a moment, shall we? When one person is running one way and the other person is running another way. And they're trying to get to opposite places.well, Legolas ran right into that other person.
All five of them fell down to the ground. I say five because Legolas ran into Gandalf. The two of them fell down. Now, when Gandalf fell down, he fell into Sam who fell into Frodo who fell into Merry. It was completely a domino effect. It was actually pretty cool.
Well, Gandalf explained how he'd chased Santa away. And do you know what? Up until this day, Santa has yet to return. Well, everyone was happy. They had gotten everyone back. Sure, Aragorn and Boromir were probably on the coast of New Zealand by now, but they would come back eventually. Yes, that was everyone.that was.wait, wasn't it everyone?
~*~
"If you don't let me go, I'm going to be extremely mad and hit you with my axe!" Gimli yelled to four reindeer as he hung over a boiling pit of lava.
Yes, after they'd saved Gimli, the Fellowship had laughed about that for quite some time. Why, even after Boromir and Gandalf had died, (Gandalf wasn't really dead.) they used Gimli's torture as a means of laughter. It was always, "oh no, we're going to die! Hey, do you remember when Gimli was almost sacrificed?"
It's not really important how Gimli was saved because I don't like him. Just remember, if you're ever in a bad situation, think only of how Gimli was nearly sacrificed and start laughing. Think of flowers too.
The End
1 For those of you who don't speak Elven, Gurth gothrim Tel'Quessir means death to the foes of the Elves.
This is my first LOTR story so if you're going to review and be mean to me then don't be really mean. *Realizing this makes no sense whatsoever I've decided to put an example.* Cough, cough. If you don't like me please don't say "I hate you! I wish you would drop off the face of the Earth! You suck!" Notice the meanness there. No, just say, "I really don't like you. I hope you fall off a cliff." As the authoress, I'm not trying to tell you what to say or force your reviews. If I wanted to do that I would just log in under a bunch of different names and review my own story 92 times. Well, anyway, I hope you enjoy the story.
Importante!! Yeah, I don't take Spanish so whatever. This story takes place while the Fellowship is staying in Rivendell. This is before they left on that oh so perilous journey to, you know, destroy the ring..I've always thought it was totally unfair how Santa made his Elves do everything. This is my story about it.
One day, Elrond sat in his Secret Special Place in Rivendell. He thought nobody knew about it. He was sadly mistaken. Galadriel used her mirror to show his Secret Special Place to any visitor who happened to wander into Lothlorien. Not only that, Arwen used her magic to show Elrond's Secret Special Place to all of the Elves in Rivendell. Also, Sauron and Saruman used their palantirs to look in on him often. Elrond's Secret Special Place was a moss house with a sliding rock door. It was very noticeable. That, however, is not this story. That is a story for another day.
On this day, Elrond sat in his Secret Special Place while he sat thinking about the problem with Arwen. He didn't want her to marry a stupid old ranger. She was much better than that. Sure, Aragorn would be the king of Gondor one day, but what did that matter? He was stealing Arwen. This also is not a story for today. You must be wondering why I'm telling you this then. It has some importance to the plot, right? Well, if you thought that you would be sadly mistaken. It doesn't really matter what Elrond is doing in his Secret Special Place; it just matters that he was there on that fateful day.
Elrond was sitting on a chair when he suddenly heard a noise. He decided to investigate because, being the powerful Elf that he is, he couldn't not investigate. (It would make him feel inferior. Besides, Legolas would laugh at him.) Elrond left his supposedly Secret Special Place and looked around. He was just getting ready to go back into his place when he suddenly felt very cold and very wet.he was very white too. That's right. Snow fell on him. A lot of snow.Elrond looked around angrily to find the source of the snow.
When he looked up he saw to his wonder a man with a red jacket and red pants. He had big black ugly boots and a freaky red hat. There was white trim all around his jacket and his hat. He was a very sinister looking man indeed. Elrond suddenly felt a pang of fear. The Fellowship was still in Rivendell. The ring was still in Rivendell. This man could be a minion of Sauron. He could be trying to steal the ring!
Elrond suddenly spun around and clutched at his shirt in fear. He started breathing loudly. "I'm hyperventilating!" He thought. He jumped back into his Secret Special Place and slid his rock door so it was covering up most of the entranceway. All that was left was a very small opening for Elrond to see out of so he could know how this minion of Sauron behaved. He watched as the man in the funny red jacket laughed evilly while he rounded up all of Elrond's people. They were in chains and being dragged along. Elrond knew what he must do. He pushed his rock aside and crawled out of his Secret Special Place. He ran up to the man in the funny red jacket and tried to attack him.
That did not go over to well, as the man gave an evil laugh and gave a sign to two of his lackeys who were waiting to attack Elrond. After all, they'd seen him go into his Secret Special Place. It was not very secret as you may remember. His two lackeys, who were some form of reindeer and actually were more of this man's slaves, kicked Elrond in the face. Elrond, being the great Elf that he is, did not lose consciousness; he merely fell down very hard onto the ground.
As the reindeer were putting Elrond in chains, because they're special reindeer with special powers who can have an opposable thumb for 11 months of the year, a really cool blonde Elf who was very hot and was awesome in battle and was incredibly awesome.(three guesses who it is).jumped over Elrond's Secret Special Place, shouted, "Gurth gothrim Tel'Quessir!"1 and shot five arrows. He hit each of the reindeer once, the evil man twice, and the evil guy's hat once.
The man shouted orders to his minions and they flew off, but not far. The really cool Elf ran over to Elrond and started undoing the chains. "Lord Elrond, are you all right?" He asked.
Elrond looked up at the other Elf. "Yes, Legolas, what's going on?"
Legolas looked around after he'd finished undoing the chains. "There is a fell voice on the air."
"What?" Elrond asked. He sat up.
"I have no time to explain. We must move on. We cannot linger." Legolas jumped up and started running. "Follow me, Lord Elrond."
Elrond followed Legolas to his (being Legolas's) Super Secret Place, which, in case anyone is wondering, actually is secret. Legolas's Super Secret Place is actually like Platform 9 ¾. It's a wall that when enchanted by Elven magic, allows those who Legolas allows inside. Seeing as Legolas doesn't even live in Rivendell, it took a lot of convincing on Arwen's part to create something like that. He had to do everything Arwen and Aragorn said for a month. Legolas shuddered at the memory.
"What is going on, Legolas?" Elrond demanded.
"They've taken most of us captive," Legolas said sadly. "That man you saw, the one with the sinister laugh.his name is Santa Clause." Legolas shuddered. "He is the leader of this expedition. His goal is to gather and enslave every Elf in Middle-Earth. Already, half of the Elves in Rivendell have been taken."
Legolas looked at Elrond. "Of those that haven't been taken, they're hiding in the back room of my Sup.uh.my hiding place. Arwen is with them."
Elrond gave a sigh of relief at this. "What about Frodo, though?" He asked. "The rest of the Fellowship? What happened to them?"
Legolas turned away and looked at the ground. "Aragorn and Boromir were thrown out of Rivendell. It seems Santa didn't have any use for them. He told them to go home and wait with their families for Christmas. Gandalf is nowhere to be found. I can't imagine Santa would want him. What purpose would he have for a wizard? After all, he's been concentrating on Elves and.as for the Hobbits.they have been taken. Only Pippin escaped, but the other three were taken by the evil of Santa. The Dwarf has also been taken, but we have reason to believe he is going to be used as a sacrifice."
Flashback to when Legolas found a note saying, "We're going to sacrifice the dwarf." Ok, back to the present.
"Then all is lost," Elrond said simply. "This minion of Sauron has the ring."
"Minion of Sauron?" Legolas asked, surprised. "He is indeed trying to steal the ring then?"
"I suppose, what other reason would he have to raid Rivendell?"
~*~
"If you would ask.I would give you the one ring." A brown haired hobbit said.
Santa glared menacingly at the Hobbit. "Silence!" He growled. "Dasher, Dancer!" He called. "I thought you had gathered up all the Elves that could fight back."
The two reindeer that had gotten shot by the arrows slowly walked up to Santa. "We thought we had too. This one is crafty, he is." That was Dasher.
"Yep. Very crafty indeed." Dancer.
"Whatever," Santa said. He used his evil powers to heal himself and his two reindeer. He then turned his attention to the three Hobbits that were sitting not five feet away from him.
"You.you are interesting creatures. Not tall enough to be Elves, yet beardless. Obviously you are not Dwarves. What are you then?" Santa wondered.
"Please, sir," Sam whimpered. "We're just Hobbits. We don't mean you no harm. We were just staying in Rivendell."
"Yes.perhaps." Santa turned his attention to Sam. "You are curious. Yes, most curious. You would fit in nicely in my Empire. Why a young.what is it, Hobbit? Yes, a young Hobbit of your stature could be perfect at my Empire. Just look at yourself. You have blonde hair.curly though it may be. Ah, and I do believe you have pointy ears. Ho ho ho." Santa gave his evil laugh.
Sam cowered while Santa laughed mockingly.
"Don't worry, Sam," Merry said. "We'll get out of this, and then we'll never be in a situation worse than this again. I for one, plan on never being taken prisoner ever again."
Santa now turned his attention back to Frodo. He noticed the ring that Frodo was holding out to him. "What is this?" He thought. "What is this you're holding out to me? It looks like a ring." Santa touched the ring that was in Frodo's palm. "It's such a small trinket, yet it is so beautiful. I would like to have it."
"No, Mr. Frodo!" Sam yelled. "Don't give it to him!"
Frodo pulled the ring back, but Santa got all evil and stuff, which happens when someone has seen the ring and it's taken away from them. Well, usually it just happens to someone who's had the ring before, but Santa is a special case.
"It's mine!" Santa yelled. "It's my precious! I found it. It's mine, I've taken it fair and square!"
Well, this thoroughly freaked the Hobbits out. Santa was just about to steal the ring when there was a bright flash of light. Suddenly, fireballs were being hurled at Santa and his reindeer. Miraculously, Frodo, Sam, and Merry were not hit. After Santa and the reindeer had run away, because let's face it, if you're being attacked by fireballs, are you going to stick around to be burned to death? I didn't think so.
After Santa had run away, it was revealed Gandalf was behind the attack! Well, good old Gandalf. Always running away until the last possible moment before you died and then he would save you. Gandalf took the Hobbits and ran back to Legolas's Super Secret Place. Legolas had told him about it.
Legolas and Elrond were sitting around in Legolas's Super Secret Place. Well, actually, Legolas wanted to go back out to save more Elves, but Elrond wouldn't let go of his legs.
"Lord Elrond, I'm going to have to ask you to let go of me," Legolas said for the 27th time.
"No," Elrond cried. "If you leave there won't be anyone to protect me!"
"You don't need protecting!" Legolas shouted as he tried to kick Elrond off. "You're supposed to be the leader of Rivendell! Now if you don't let go, I'm going to shoot you with an arrow!"
"You wouldn't dare," Elrond said.
A voice suddenly came from another invisible doorway that would only lead further into Legolas's Super Secret Place. "What is going on?"
Legolas and Elrond turned to see Arwen standing a little bit away from them.
"He won't let me go save more Elves!" Legolas accused.
"He's turned to the dark side," Elrond said as he quickly got up and dusted himself off. "Very bad business. I was tying to prevent him from causing any catastrophic event that might bring the end of the world."
Legolas then tried to run out of his Super Secret Place because, let's face it, when was he going to find a better chance than this? As he started running, someone else was coming inside. Let's think about this for a moment, shall we? When one person is running one way and the other person is running another way. And they're trying to get to opposite places.well, Legolas ran right into that other person.
All five of them fell down to the ground. I say five because Legolas ran into Gandalf. The two of them fell down. Now, when Gandalf fell down, he fell into Sam who fell into Frodo who fell into Merry. It was completely a domino effect. It was actually pretty cool.
Well, Gandalf explained how he'd chased Santa away. And do you know what? Up until this day, Santa has yet to return. Well, everyone was happy. They had gotten everyone back. Sure, Aragorn and Boromir were probably on the coast of New Zealand by now, but they would come back eventually. Yes, that was everyone.that was.wait, wasn't it everyone?
~*~
"If you don't let me go, I'm going to be extremely mad and hit you with my axe!" Gimli yelled to four reindeer as he hung over a boiling pit of lava.
Yes, after they'd saved Gimli, the Fellowship had laughed about that for quite some time. Why, even after Boromir and Gandalf had died, (Gandalf wasn't really dead.) they used Gimli's torture as a means of laughter. It was always, "oh no, we're going to die! Hey, do you remember when Gimli was almost sacrificed?"
It's not really important how Gimli was saved because I don't like him. Just remember, if you're ever in a bad situation, think only of how Gimli was nearly sacrificed and start laughing. Think of flowers too.
The End
1 For those of you who don't speak Elven, Gurth gothrim Tel'Quessir means death to the foes of the Elves.