From chapter 4:
She looked in my eyes as I lost myself in hers. More than anything I wanted to feel her lips on mine...I needed to be loved by this woman...my best friend...hell, Faith is my life and I wanted to share everything I had with her. At that moment, I would have settled for a kiss. Faith had never disappointed me before and she didn't then either.....
Christmas in Camelot 5/?
"Faith," I started to say before she stopped me. As I felt her cold hands on my face, I let my head drop to one side as she cradled my head in her hands. Her touch was cold but inside I was on fire. I had never had such a desire for any woman in my life. The way she was looking at me was incredible. Her eyes were so gorgeous and the way she looked at me was the purest love I had ever seen. I softly kissed her fingers as she gently guided each one across my lips. As I closed my eyes, she leaned forward, softly pressing her lips to mine. Her lips were incredibly soft, warm and gentle, more than anything I could ever have imagined. Wrapping my arms around her slender waist, I pulled her to me, wanting to be as close to her as I could be without being one. Our kisses continued...still soft...still warm...still filled with desire. As my tongue found her lips, I pressed for entrance. She eagerly allowed me inside and our tongues danced with one another, stopping only when the need for breathing became more urgent than our need for one another.
As I closed my eyes and laid my head back on the snow, she covered me in kisses...my forehead, my cheeks, my lips, my chin, and my neck.
"Oh God Faith," I moaned. Every part of my body was screaming for her touch. I needed her...I wanted her...but I couldn't have her...not like this. I couldn't make love to another man's wife...not even if the other man was Fred.
I fought off every desire I had to take her in my arms and make sweet love to her. It was the hardest thing I'd ever had to do in my life but I couldn't do it...it couldn't be like this. She deserved more and as painstaking as it was, sharing the most intimate gift I had with her would have to wait.
"Faith," I muttered, my body fighting me for control. For once in my life I had to think with my brain.
"Please Faith, not like this," I managed to say the words. "As much as I want you...as much as I need you...I can't...not like this."
I think she understood what it was that I was trying to say. She stopped kissing me, instead laying her head on my chest. I lay there for several minutes, stroking her hair. I didn't think it was possible but the sunlight shining on her hair made it even more beautiful.
My clothes were soaked, partially from being buried in the snow and partially from feeling Faith's body so close to mine. She must have felt me shiver cause at that moment she rolled off me, got to her feet, reaching out for my hands as she helped me to my feet.
She brushed off what snow remained on my clothes. I think she enjoyed that even more than she did burying me in the snow. I would be lying if I said I didn't' enjoy the feel of her hands on certain areas of my body. Cupping her chin in my hand, I kissed her once more before we made our way back to my car.
It was still snowing by this time but it was a dry snow and it didn't take long to brush the snow from my car windows. I wrapped Faith in a blanket that I kept in my car. I could try to convince you that I kept in there in case of an emergency like with weather such as today's. But I think you know the real reason for a blanket being in my car, especially since I kept it in the back seat.
Somewhere between the park and taking her home, she decided to tell Fred the truth. I wasn't so sure this was a good idea, given that it was Christmas Eve. She insisted and sometimes she was just too darn stubborn to reason with. I think she gets that from me.
It was dark when I dropped her off. I hated dropping her off like this knowing what she had in mind with Fred. I don't know how long I sat outside her apartment, just in case she told Fred and he didn't take it too well. Eventually I left, driving around for a while before going home.
The rest of the night, I spent thinking of Faith. Fortunately my apartment was a mess. Lucky for me the governor had better things to do with his time cause one look at my place and he would have declared it a disaster area. But at least it gave me something to do while I thought about Faith.
I dozed off at some point, doing a lot better than the night before. The next morning I woke up on the couch. I hadn't made it to my bed but at least I hadn't passed out on the floor.
I showered and dressed, grabbing my keys as I headed for ma's. I'd promised to have Christmas dinner with her. Faith had helped me shop for her so I was pretty sure she'd like her presents. She surprised me with a new leather jacket. She'd spent too much money on me just like she always did. I was further surprised when she gave me several more gifts, one for Faith and a couple each for Emily and Charlie. I got the usual "they're the closest thing I have to grandchildren" speech that she'd been giving me for years. Besides she said, Mikey wasn't around...why buy gifts for someone who wont be there to open them. At least Faith and her kids would enjoy the gifts.
I arrived home around six o'clock to find a gift outside my door. I was pretty sure it was safe from thieves since this gift usually wore a badge and carried a gun.
I hugged her without hesitation even though we were standing in the hallway outside my apartment. She took my keys, unlocking my apartment while I juggled the leftovers ma had sent home with me.
She closed the door behind us as I took the leftovers into the kitchen. I returned quickly to see her smiling. God I loved this woman. Just her smile could make my day.
"So what happened last night?" I asked, figuring there was no point beating around the bush.
"We talked," she said, taking a seat beside me on the couch. "It's over. I told Fred I want a divorce."
"How'd he take it?"
"You know Bos, I don't remember the last time Fred and I were this honest with one another. The kids were asleep so I figured I could tell him everything...get it all out there on the table and then deal with it.
"I told him about the party and that something had happened there. We have The Righteous Brothers CD with that song on it. I played it for him and then I told him about how you had sung it at the party. I think hearing those words had the same effect on him as it did on me. It's pretty hard to deny what's so obvious. But I talked about it all, everything from how we don't share anything with one another to how we only talk when it involves the kids. We don't live together, we just live under the same roof.
"What'd he say to that?"
"Well it came right out and asked if this had anything to do with you. It was so weird. He's asked me that question so much that I automatically say no, but last night, I told him yes. I think he was surprised when I said that. But I further explained that this only involved you to the point that you were the one who was singing the song. I don't think it mattered who sang those words. He'd listened to the CD just moments before and it had an effect on him too so he couldn't deny me that.
I didn't know what to say to her at this point so I didn't say anything. She continued.
"I told him about yesterday and how you came by the apartment and how we'd sat in the park and talked. I told him about the swings and the slides and the snow and how good it felt to just have some fun. He said something odd at that point. He had this look on his face when I was telling him about the park. I laughed and he said he couldn't remember the last time he'd heard me laugh."
"He was so calm that it almost worried me. He got up and walked around the apartment....from the living room he looked out the window, then he turned around and looked at me. Finally he sat back down. That's when he said it."
"When he said what?"
"He said "we're over aren't we, there's no more us."
"Fred said that? Was he mad when he said it?"
"No, he was very calm, almost like he had expected it. I don't know, maybe he did. Maybe he's known all this for along time. Maybe he realized it before I did and didn't want to admit it. The next thing out of his mouth was that he didn't want to lose his kids."
"His kids?"
"Yeah, he said that he loves Emily and Charlie and he wants to be part of their lives. He doesn't want to be a so-called weekend father. I can't blame him for that. He said that if we could work out a joint custody, he'd be okay with that."
"What about you? Are you okay with joint custody?"
"You know, I didn't think I would be. I mean these are my kids. I carried them for nine months. But I think joint custody will be best for Em and Charlie. I think if Fred and I can do this in a civilized manner, without dragging the kids into some nasty custody battle, then maybe the kids wont get hurt as much. It can't be good for them living the way we do now."
"No, I guess not. I remember when my dad left. I had so much hate for this man. I didn't have a good role model for a father and sometimes I wonder what kind of a father I'll make to my kids. I have no idea what a good marriage is or what makes a father a good father. All I know is what I saw and it wasn't a pretty picture."
"I know Bos. I want Emily and Charlie to grow up and get married and have families of their own. I just don't want them to think that what Fred and I have is a good marriage. That's not what marriage is all about. Maybe it's not too late. Just cause we get a divorce, that doesn't make us bad parents, right?"
"No, I don't think so. I think a lot of people stay married for the sake of their kids. And sometimes that does the kids more harm than good."
"Yeah, I think that's what Fred and I are doing."
"So you think you and Fred can do this peacefully?"
"Yeah, I think we can. Bos, I told him about us, that I have feelings for you but that I've never acted on them. He didn't question me about it which surprised me. He admitted that there's this lady who goes to his AA meetings. Maybe he has feelings for her like I have feelings for you. He says they've just had coffee a few times after their meetings. Anyway, after we talked, I had this feeling come over me. I think he did too. It was such a relief, like a weight had been lifted off my shoulders."
I wasn't sure of a lot of things at this point but there was something different with Faith. She seemed to be at peace. Considering the feelings I had when I dropped her off the night before, I was relieved that she could end her marriage to Fred without anyone getting hurt. Enough pain had been endured in that house. I never cared for Fred, but if he could do this for Faith and his kids, then I had to respect him for that.
"I take it Fred's home with the kids?"
"Actually, Emily's spending the night with her friend Sarah and Charlie wanted to stay overnight with his friend Adam so I came over here to spend at least part of Christmas with you."
"I'm glad you did cause now I can give you your presents. Plus ma had one for you and a few more for Em and Charlie."
"Your mom is so sweet," Faith said, glancing at the gifts under my tree. Yeah I actually had a tree. It wasn't much but it was a tree. I reached under the tree, pulling out five packages for Faith, including the one from ma.
"All these for me?" she asked.
"Yep," I replied. "So which one do you want to open first?"
Her answer surprised me.
"Well let me see," she said examining each one carefully. She chose the one ma had wrapped. Obvious it had been wrapped by someone other than me. Mine didn't include ribbons and bows...ma's did. Ma always went all out on wrapping presents.
I watched as she pulled off the bow, then carefully unfastening the ribbon so it wouldn't get broken.
"Don't tell me you're one of those people who opens presents with grace. Come on, rip it open...."
"Okay, okay," she said with an evil smile. Having said that she placed the ribbon around my neck and the bow on my chest just above the first button.
"I think maybe I'll open this one first," she said smiling. Not taking her eyes off mine, she unbuttoned the first button of my shirt. With every button she undid, she placed a soft kiss on my chest until she reached the last button. Slowly she pushed my shirt off my shoulders letting it fall. Her lips found mine, each kiss with more passion. Her fingers danced across my shoulders followed by her kisses. The feel of her lips on my now bare skin was enticing. She kissed and licked her way down my body until her tongue found my nipples, alternating between one and the other, driving me crazy as she did. I needed to touch her beautiful body...to feel her skin on mine. Wrapping my arms around her waist, our lips met once more, our tongues in silent battle. As we kissed, my fingers lingered under her sweater, feeling her soft skin for the first time. I continued upwards, bringing her sweater with me until I pulled it over her head. Her bra soon joined her sweater as I unfastened it with one hand. Sliding it off her shoulders, my fingers grazed her breasts causing both of us to moan. Kissing her lips once more, then moving onto her neck, her shoulders as I gently massaged her breasts with my hands. Taking one breast in my mouth, I bathed it with my tongue, gently sucking on her nipples as they peaked. My hands were busy as well, rubbing her nipples between my thumb and finger while my other free hand found the button of her jeans.
I didn't know how much longer I was going to last. Faith had found her way to the button of my jeans. She'd moved her hands down my body til I was rocking against her hand, my body aching for her touch. She didn't keep me waiting and I was all too anxious to free certain parts of my anatomy from the confines on my jeans. Not one to waste time, she removed my jeans and underwear in one quick action. I lay back on the couch as she made her way down my body once more, lingering momentarily at my neck, nipples and stomach; down one thigh and up the other before taking my throbbing penis in her mouth. The first touch of her tongue was almost all it took but I managed to last a little longer before reaching my first orgasm.
It took just one touch of her hand to make me hard again. I never wanted a woman more than I wanted Faith.
"Faith," I managed between moans. Together we removed the rest of her clothes. I wasted no time placing kisses all over her body; her lips, her neck, her breasts, her nipples, and her stomach before my tongue found her womanhood and I tasted her for the first time. I knew she wasn't going to last long and I was right. She reached her first orgasm soon after although later she would tell me that her first one had occurred much earlier.
"Bos, I need you, make love to me."
"Faith," was all I managed to say before my penis found the warmth between her legs. She was tight but just perfect as if our bodies were made for each other. Almost instantly we found a rhythm. Wrapping her legs around my back, I thrust in deeper.
Between her moans and mine, I kissed her sweet lips over and over as our bodies moved in perfect unison. It wasn't much longer til I felt my world tilt. We reached our second orgasm together as I shot my hot seed inside her. I collapsed on top of her, my body more fulfilled than it had ever been.
"Merry Christmas Bos," Faith replied, kissing the top of my head.
Looking into her eyes for just a moment before kissing her sweet lips. "Merry Christmas Faith."
She looked in my eyes as I lost myself in hers. More than anything I wanted to feel her lips on mine...I needed to be loved by this woman...my best friend...hell, Faith is my life and I wanted to share everything I had with her. At that moment, I would have settled for a kiss. Faith had never disappointed me before and she didn't then either.....
Christmas in Camelot 5/?
"Faith," I started to say before she stopped me. As I felt her cold hands on my face, I let my head drop to one side as she cradled my head in her hands. Her touch was cold but inside I was on fire. I had never had such a desire for any woman in my life. The way she was looking at me was incredible. Her eyes were so gorgeous and the way she looked at me was the purest love I had ever seen. I softly kissed her fingers as she gently guided each one across my lips. As I closed my eyes, she leaned forward, softly pressing her lips to mine. Her lips were incredibly soft, warm and gentle, more than anything I could ever have imagined. Wrapping my arms around her slender waist, I pulled her to me, wanting to be as close to her as I could be without being one. Our kisses continued...still soft...still warm...still filled with desire. As my tongue found her lips, I pressed for entrance. She eagerly allowed me inside and our tongues danced with one another, stopping only when the need for breathing became more urgent than our need for one another.
As I closed my eyes and laid my head back on the snow, she covered me in kisses...my forehead, my cheeks, my lips, my chin, and my neck.
"Oh God Faith," I moaned. Every part of my body was screaming for her touch. I needed her...I wanted her...but I couldn't have her...not like this. I couldn't make love to another man's wife...not even if the other man was Fred.
I fought off every desire I had to take her in my arms and make sweet love to her. It was the hardest thing I'd ever had to do in my life but I couldn't do it...it couldn't be like this. She deserved more and as painstaking as it was, sharing the most intimate gift I had with her would have to wait.
"Faith," I muttered, my body fighting me for control. For once in my life I had to think with my brain.
"Please Faith, not like this," I managed to say the words. "As much as I want you...as much as I need you...I can't...not like this."
I think she understood what it was that I was trying to say. She stopped kissing me, instead laying her head on my chest. I lay there for several minutes, stroking her hair. I didn't think it was possible but the sunlight shining on her hair made it even more beautiful.
My clothes were soaked, partially from being buried in the snow and partially from feeling Faith's body so close to mine. She must have felt me shiver cause at that moment she rolled off me, got to her feet, reaching out for my hands as she helped me to my feet.
She brushed off what snow remained on my clothes. I think she enjoyed that even more than she did burying me in the snow. I would be lying if I said I didn't' enjoy the feel of her hands on certain areas of my body. Cupping her chin in my hand, I kissed her once more before we made our way back to my car.
It was still snowing by this time but it was a dry snow and it didn't take long to brush the snow from my car windows. I wrapped Faith in a blanket that I kept in my car. I could try to convince you that I kept in there in case of an emergency like with weather such as today's. But I think you know the real reason for a blanket being in my car, especially since I kept it in the back seat.
Somewhere between the park and taking her home, she decided to tell Fred the truth. I wasn't so sure this was a good idea, given that it was Christmas Eve. She insisted and sometimes she was just too darn stubborn to reason with. I think she gets that from me.
It was dark when I dropped her off. I hated dropping her off like this knowing what she had in mind with Fred. I don't know how long I sat outside her apartment, just in case she told Fred and he didn't take it too well. Eventually I left, driving around for a while before going home.
The rest of the night, I spent thinking of Faith. Fortunately my apartment was a mess. Lucky for me the governor had better things to do with his time cause one look at my place and he would have declared it a disaster area. But at least it gave me something to do while I thought about Faith.
I dozed off at some point, doing a lot better than the night before. The next morning I woke up on the couch. I hadn't made it to my bed but at least I hadn't passed out on the floor.
I showered and dressed, grabbing my keys as I headed for ma's. I'd promised to have Christmas dinner with her. Faith had helped me shop for her so I was pretty sure she'd like her presents. She surprised me with a new leather jacket. She'd spent too much money on me just like she always did. I was further surprised when she gave me several more gifts, one for Faith and a couple each for Emily and Charlie. I got the usual "they're the closest thing I have to grandchildren" speech that she'd been giving me for years. Besides she said, Mikey wasn't around...why buy gifts for someone who wont be there to open them. At least Faith and her kids would enjoy the gifts.
I arrived home around six o'clock to find a gift outside my door. I was pretty sure it was safe from thieves since this gift usually wore a badge and carried a gun.
I hugged her without hesitation even though we were standing in the hallway outside my apartment. She took my keys, unlocking my apartment while I juggled the leftovers ma had sent home with me.
She closed the door behind us as I took the leftovers into the kitchen. I returned quickly to see her smiling. God I loved this woman. Just her smile could make my day.
"So what happened last night?" I asked, figuring there was no point beating around the bush.
"We talked," she said, taking a seat beside me on the couch. "It's over. I told Fred I want a divorce."
"How'd he take it?"
"You know Bos, I don't remember the last time Fred and I were this honest with one another. The kids were asleep so I figured I could tell him everything...get it all out there on the table and then deal with it.
"I told him about the party and that something had happened there. We have The Righteous Brothers CD with that song on it. I played it for him and then I told him about how you had sung it at the party. I think hearing those words had the same effect on him as it did on me. It's pretty hard to deny what's so obvious. But I talked about it all, everything from how we don't share anything with one another to how we only talk when it involves the kids. We don't live together, we just live under the same roof.
"What'd he say to that?"
"Well it came right out and asked if this had anything to do with you. It was so weird. He's asked me that question so much that I automatically say no, but last night, I told him yes. I think he was surprised when I said that. But I further explained that this only involved you to the point that you were the one who was singing the song. I don't think it mattered who sang those words. He'd listened to the CD just moments before and it had an effect on him too so he couldn't deny me that.
I didn't know what to say to her at this point so I didn't say anything. She continued.
"I told him about yesterday and how you came by the apartment and how we'd sat in the park and talked. I told him about the swings and the slides and the snow and how good it felt to just have some fun. He said something odd at that point. He had this look on his face when I was telling him about the park. I laughed and he said he couldn't remember the last time he'd heard me laugh."
"He was so calm that it almost worried me. He got up and walked around the apartment....from the living room he looked out the window, then he turned around and looked at me. Finally he sat back down. That's when he said it."
"When he said what?"
"He said "we're over aren't we, there's no more us."
"Fred said that? Was he mad when he said it?"
"No, he was very calm, almost like he had expected it. I don't know, maybe he did. Maybe he's known all this for along time. Maybe he realized it before I did and didn't want to admit it. The next thing out of his mouth was that he didn't want to lose his kids."
"His kids?"
"Yeah, he said that he loves Emily and Charlie and he wants to be part of their lives. He doesn't want to be a so-called weekend father. I can't blame him for that. He said that if we could work out a joint custody, he'd be okay with that."
"What about you? Are you okay with joint custody?"
"You know, I didn't think I would be. I mean these are my kids. I carried them for nine months. But I think joint custody will be best for Em and Charlie. I think if Fred and I can do this in a civilized manner, without dragging the kids into some nasty custody battle, then maybe the kids wont get hurt as much. It can't be good for them living the way we do now."
"No, I guess not. I remember when my dad left. I had so much hate for this man. I didn't have a good role model for a father and sometimes I wonder what kind of a father I'll make to my kids. I have no idea what a good marriage is or what makes a father a good father. All I know is what I saw and it wasn't a pretty picture."
"I know Bos. I want Emily and Charlie to grow up and get married and have families of their own. I just don't want them to think that what Fred and I have is a good marriage. That's not what marriage is all about. Maybe it's not too late. Just cause we get a divorce, that doesn't make us bad parents, right?"
"No, I don't think so. I think a lot of people stay married for the sake of their kids. And sometimes that does the kids more harm than good."
"Yeah, I think that's what Fred and I are doing."
"So you think you and Fred can do this peacefully?"
"Yeah, I think we can. Bos, I told him about us, that I have feelings for you but that I've never acted on them. He didn't question me about it which surprised me. He admitted that there's this lady who goes to his AA meetings. Maybe he has feelings for her like I have feelings for you. He says they've just had coffee a few times after their meetings. Anyway, after we talked, I had this feeling come over me. I think he did too. It was such a relief, like a weight had been lifted off my shoulders."
I wasn't sure of a lot of things at this point but there was something different with Faith. She seemed to be at peace. Considering the feelings I had when I dropped her off the night before, I was relieved that she could end her marriage to Fred without anyone getting hurt. Enough pain had been endured in that house. I never cared for Fred, but if he could do this for Faith and his kids, then I had to respect him for that.
"I take it Fred's home with the kids?"
"Actually, Emily's spending the night with her friend Sarah and Charlie wanted to stay overnight with his friend Adam so I came over here to spend at least part of Christmas with you."
"I'm glad you did cause now I can give you your presents. Plus ma had one for you and a few more for Em and Charlie."
"Your mom is so sweet," Faith said, glancing at the gifts under my tree. Yeah I actually had a tree. It wasn't much but it was a tree. I reached under the tree, pulling out five packages for Faith, including the one from ma.
"All these for me?" she asked.
"Yep," I replied. "So which one do you want to open first?"
Her answer surprised me.
"Well let me see," she said examining each one carefully. She chose the one ma had wrapped. Obvious it had been wrapped by someone other than me. Mine didn't include ribbons and bows...ma's did. Ma always went all out on wrapping presents.
I watched as she pulled off the bow, then carefully unfastening the ribbon so it wouldn't get broken.
"Don't tell me you're one of those people who opens presents with grace. Come on, rip it open...."
"Okay, okay," she said with an evil smile. Having said that she placed the ribbon around my neck and the bow on my chest just above the first button.
"I think maybe I'll open this one first," she said smiling. Not taking her eyes off mine, she unbuttoned the first button of my shirt. With every button she undid, she placed a soft kiss on my chest until she reached the last button. Slowly she pushed my shirt off my shoulders letting it fall. Her lips found mine, each kiss with more passion. Her fingers danced across my shoulders followed by her kisses. The feel of her lips on my now bare skin was enticing. She kissed and licked her way down my body until her tongue found my nipples, alternating between one and the other, driving me crazy as she did. I needed to touch her beautiful body...to feel her skin on mine. Wrapping my arms around her waist, our lips met once more, our tongues in silent battle. As we kissed, my fingers lingered under her sweater, feeling her soft skin for the first time. I continued upwards, bringing her sweater with me until I pulled it over her head. Her bra soon joined her sweater as I unfastened it with one hand. Sliding it off her shoulders, my fingers grazed her breasts causing both of us to moan. Kissing her lips once more, then moving onto her neck, her shoulders as I gently massaged her breasts with my hands. Taking one breast in my mouth, I bathed it with my tongue, gently sucking on her nipples as they peaked. My hands were busy as well, rubbing her nipples between my thumb and finger while my other free hand found the button of her jeans.
I didn't know how much longer I was going to last. Faith had found her way to the button of my jeans. She'd moved her hands down my body til I was rocking against her hand, my body aching for her touch. She didn't keep me waiting and I was all too anxious to free certain parts of my anatomy from the confines on my jeans. Not one to waste time, she removed my jeans and underwear in one quick action. I lay back on the couch as she made her way down my body once more, lingering momentarily at my neck, nipples and stomach; down one thigh and up the other before taking my throbbing penis in her mouth. The first touch of her tongue was almost all it took but I managed to last a little longer before reaching my first orgasm.
It took just one touch of her hand to make me hard again. I never wanted a woman more than I wanted Faith.
"Faith," I managed between moans. Together we removed the rest of her clothes. I wasted no time placing kisses all over her body; her lips, her neck, her breasts, her nipples, and her stomach before my tongue found her womanhood and I tasted her for the first time. I knew she wasn't going to last long and I was right. She reached her first orgasm soon after although later she would tell me that her first one had occurred much earlier.
"Bos, I need you, make love to me."
"Faith," was all I managed to say before my penis found the warmth between her legs. She was tight but just perfect as if our bodies were made for each other. Almost instantly we found a rhythm. Wrapping her legs around my back, I thrust in deeper.
Between her moans and mine, I kissed her sweet lips over and over as our bodies moved in perfect unison. It wasn't much longer til I felt my world tilt. We reached our second orgasm together as I shot my hot seed inside her. I collapsed on top of her, my body more fulfilled than it had ever been.
"Merry Christmas Bos," Faith replied, kissing the top of my head.
Looking into her eyes for just a moment before kissing her sweet lips. "Merry Christmas Faith."