There is no disguise which can hide love for long where it
exists, or simulate it where it does not.
- LA Rochefoucauld, Maxims
"Jacqueline Leigh-Ann Arnold!" Helga shouted. "Get down here right this instant!" She stomped her foot on the ground.
Footsteps hurried down the stairs as a little blonde-haired girl came. "Yeah Mom?"
"What did I tell you about these socks?" Helga held a pair of socks in her hand.
"Oh. Right…" the girl gave a nervous chuckle. "Sorry I forgot about that. I promise it won't happen again," she said taking the socks from Helga's hand.
"Yeah, sure…that's what you said last time. Now go upstairs and wash up for dinner."
"Okay." The twelve-year-old smiled and ran back up the stairs. Ah, she was such a beauty. Long blonde hair and big blue eyes. Plus her head was normal and she had no unibrow! (Talk about good genes)
Helga rolled her eyes and pulled her hand through her hair. "How did I get into this mess?" she sighed to herself.
Two hands covered her eyes. A deep voice whispered in her ear. "Guess who?"
Helga giggled and put her hands on top of his. "Hmm…is it Michael? Or maybe Gerald?"
"Gerald?!" Arnold exclaimed, taking his hands off of Helga, spinning her around to face him. "Is there something you're hiding from me?"
"Of course not." She grinned and leaned forward to kiss him. "So how was work?"
"It was tiring. What about you?"
"Boring, as usual. Being a writer is so..."
"It's so over rated, dahling…" interjected their daughter. "Just ever so drab."
Arnold chuckled. "Hey Jackie…all washed up for dinner, are you?"
"Yeah." She glanced at her parents holding hands. "Should I leave you two alone or…?"
Helga raised an eyebrow and then let go of Arnold's hands.
Suddenly she woke up in the middle of the night to her baby's wails. She groaned as well but before she had the chance to get out of her bed, she saw Arnold's shadow walk to the crib. Her body eased as she dropped back on her pillow.
Arnold took Jacqueline in his arms and rocked her, singing a lullaby.
"…If that diamond ring turns brass, daddy's gonna buy you a looking glass. And if that looking glass gets broke, daddy's gonna buy you a billy goat…" he whispered. Her head was leaned against his chest and his hands were behind her back. It seemed like they were dancing.
Soon enough, the baby's cries diminished. Arnold gently placed her back in the crib. Then Helga realized that he was only wearing a white shirt and a pair of smiley face boxers.
She watched as Arnold yawned and scratched his head, walking back to his cot and going back to sleep.
It was all a dream, thought Helga.
The following morning, they had to start school again. As usual, they gave Jacqueline to Grandma and Grandpa and hurried to school.
"OK, Grandma, remember to give her the milk after its been warmed for ten seconds in the microwave," said Helga. "Make sure she doesn't get too gasy or else you'll have a hard time getting her to calm down."
"Got it all down, your majesty. I'll take care of the little Princess."
"Great. And be sure to record anything weird that happens and…"
"If you don't stop talking we'll be late," interject Arnold harshly. "C'mon, Helga. It's not the first time you've left Jackie with Grandma."
"Yeah, but it's just that…"
"But nothing. Now let's go!" he urged, taking Helga by the arm and dragging her to the car.
The drives they had to school were always dull because they had nothing to really talk about. They spent their whole days with each other. It's not like they could have normal conversations of things like 'so how was your weekend?' or 'Did you watch…' it didn't work that way anymore. Now it was just like 'oh, yeah, I was there with you. So I really don't have to ask'. But usually after school, they had more things to talk about.
Helga walked with Arnold. Just casually, as if they were just acquaintances.
"Hi there Arnold," said Lila as they walked towards the two of them. Her hair was up in two braided buns and there was an oddly big bow on the top of her head. She fluttered her eyelashes.
"Uh, hi Lila," he muttered.
"How are the two of you doing?" she wondered in a high-pitched voice.
"Just dandy," he replied. Helga rolled her eyes.
"That's wonderful to hear…and so have you had the chance to see the baby yet?" she asked, looking at Arnold.
"Yeah, actually we see Jacqueline everyday," snapped Helga.
"How nice! So Arnold goes over to your house every day?"
Helga raised an eyebrow and smirked. "To be ever-so honest, Lila, I actually live with Arnold."
Lila's eyes looked like they were going to burst from her eye sockets. "You two live with each other?"
"Yes we do," said Helga happily. "Isn't that right, Arnold?"
Arnold nodded.
"I'm very happy for the two of you. Now please excuse me," she walked away.
Helga laughed.
"You are one evil girl," said Arnold.
"Your point is?"
"I like it," he grinned, putting his arm around her waist.
"Oh, Helga! When can I see Jacqueline again?" wondered Rhonda at lunch. "She is just the most darling thing…"
"Well, uh, she'll be six months old in a couple of more weeks," said Helga.
"Fantastic!" Rhonda squealed. "I'll set up a big and flashy rendezvous! There'll be little square sandwiches and music…maybe I can even book a live band…"
"Rhonda!" shouted Helga. "Just chill…"
Rhonda put up her hand. "Chilling is so over-rated. Please say you'll let me throw her a big birthday bash!"
Helga shifted uncomfortably in her seat. She didn't know what to say. It's just so hard to say no. Though she's done it millions of times before, after her maternal instincts kicked in, she just couldn't.
"…I'll have to discuss it with Arnold," stated Helga.
"Oh I just know he'll love my idea!"
I hope not, thought Helga.
***
"Look at them, Brainy. It's like they're together every single second now," growled Lila, watching Arnold and Helga talk in the parkinglot. She was hidden behind the school bus and was joined with Brainy.
Brainy breathed deeply and nodded.
"You know, Helga isn't good enough for Arnold. If she hadn't have gotten pregnant, none of this would have happened. This is crazy. Arnold loves me! Not Helga! Who could love such a monster?"
"Hey!" Brainy grunted.
Lila grimmaced. "Sorry." She stuck her head out from the side of the bus to look at Arnold and Helga again. "They live with each other, go to school with each other and eat with each other. You'd think he'd get tired of her. After all, she isn't the most interesting person in the world."
Brainy rolled his eyes.
"I bet their baby isn't all that pretty either. Probably has a big unibrow and ugly mouth. An ugly big mouth like Helga." She sighed. "Oh how I wish Arnold were mine…he's so wonderful. He was made for me…" She put her hands to her heart. "I must make him realize that I love him."
***
Helga and Arnold walked into the boarding house happily. They loved living with each other. It was so much fun, and everything was so much easier living with each other. Such a perfect life. They had a baby, a full house, and each other.
"Oh I have to see my baby!" squealed Helga, dropping her books and backpack on the ground. She ran up the stairs to her room and smiled.
Jacqueline was dressed in her pink pajamas and her little mouth was open as water trickled down her lips. A bottle of milk was next to her and so was her teddy bear. Helga loved Jacqueline so much. She could spend the rest of her life just staring into her big blue eyes.
How she loved Jacqueline's big blue eyes. Whenever she looked into them, she felt at ease with herself. Kind of like whenever she looked into Arnold's eyes. No other parents could love their child as much as I do, thought Helga.
She felt two hands on her hips. "Can't get enough of her, can you?" mumbled Arnold.
"Never ever," Helga sighed.
Suddenly a chill ran down Helga's spine. It made her shiver and she sneezed. Arnold went down and got her a cup of hot chocolate as she sneezed even more. Her head started pounding like a hammer on a nail. She could feel the heat gather in her cheeks and forehead.
Well, you guessed it. She was sick. Sick as can be.
"Helga, you've got to stay in bed," Arnold pleaded. "You can't go out like this…you'll never get better."
"But Arnold!" She complained with a stuffy nose and a tissue in her hand. "I have so many things to do at school today…and after school I planned to buy more diapers, and return my library books at the school library! And go buy some things at the supermarket…and…besides I think I'm feeling much better than yesterday!"
Arnold covered Helga's mouth with his hand. "I'll do it for you. Don't worry!" he said. "I'll get everything done…and you just lay here, read a nice book," he patted the novel on her nightstand.
Helga groaned. "Get Jacqueline away from me. I don't want her to catch my sickness."
"Okay. Whenever you need something, call my cell," he leaned in and kissed her hot forehead. "And just stay here and rest."
Helga coughed and nodded.
Arnold lifted Jacqueline up from the crib and took her out of the room with him. "Jackie, it's not you…it's Mommy. She's really cranky today and really sick. So you can't spend the day with her. So while I go to school, you stay with Grandma."
What's the point of talking to her? Thought Arnold, she doesn't even understand what I'm talking about…
Arnold dropped Jacqueline off with Grandma and rushed to school.
When he got out of his car, Lila spotted him and quickly ran up to him. His hair so slick and clothes so cool. She would do anything to be with him again. "Hi Arnold," she greeted as he walked by her and she walked along with him.
"Oh, Hi Lila."
Lila looked around. "Why no Helga?"
"She's sick."
"That's too bad," she pouted.
"Yeah. She's really bummed out about it."
"Arnold, I have something for you," said Lila softly. She reached in her backpack and took out a brown bag and gave them to Arnold.
"Gee, Lila…" murmered Arnold. "What's inside?"
"Home-made brownies with walnuts. Just for you."
Arnold scowled slightly. "Eh, sorry Lila but I'm allergic to walnuts."
"Oh."
"But I'm sure Helga will love them." He smiled, trying to make her happier. "Thanks anyway."
"Sure. Anytime."
"Yeah, so I suppose I'll be heading that way," Arnold pointed to the left.
"Uh, wait! Arnold! I have a new joke I'd like to share with you."
"Sure…okay…"
"What ever is a cow on the ground called?"
"Actually, Lila…I've sort-of heard this joke already and I really have to…"
"Ground beef!" She chuckled.
By the time she finished laughing, Arnold had disappeared and the bell rang.
"Damnit," she cursed to herself. "Oh Arnold…if only you knew."
During lunch, Arnold returned Helga's five library books and payed $3 in late fees for one of her books and then his cell phone rang in his pants. Helga called and told him to get her more tylenol.
After school, Arnold drove to the store and picked up diapers, tylenol, some coffee beans, a quart of milk and a small box of tea leaves. Then, coincidentally he bumped into Miriam.
"Ernie!" exclaimed Miriam.
"Actually, that's Arnold, Mrs. Pataki," corrected Arnold.
"How is Helga doing? I mean, about the other night…"
"She hasn't really talked about that lately," said Arnold. "And she's kind of sick right now."
"Oh dear…can I go see her?"
"Um…maybe some other day, I mean…I don't want to throw any surprises on her while she's in bed."
Miriam nodded. "Well, just tell her to come see me. And that we need to talk."
Arnold nodded. "Okay."
6:00.
The room was dark and stuffy. Helga spent the whole day tossing and turning in her bed while she blew her nose. How uncomfortable she felt. All she wanted was for Arnold to come back home so that she could have someone to talk to other than Grandma.
A crack of light appeared from the door. Arnold walked in holding a tray and flipped the lights on. He walked to Helga and sat down next to her on her bed. His hand caressed her forehead.
"It feels like you've gotten better."
"A little," she sniffed. "What have you got there?"
"I'm glad you asked," he grinned. "Here I have a fresh boquet of flowers for you and tomato soup, and a bag of walnut brownies."
Helga sat up as Arnold put the tray on her lap and put the boquet of flowers on her nightstand.
"Oh Arnold, these flowers are beautiful. And you know, you really didn't have to make this soup."
"It was no problem at all."
"How was school?"
"It was okay. Rhonda kept raving on about some party, and Phoebe and Gerald are starting to plan their future marriage…"
"Oh so nothing new?"
"Nothing."
"You know what Arnold…"
"what?"
"You are the sweetest most incredible guy on this planet."
Arnold blushed. "Nah..I just do what I can. Nothing's too extreme for you anyway."
"If I weren't infested with germs, I would kiss you right now."
"Not after what I have to tell you…"
"What?"
"I bumped into your mother today. She wants to see you and talk to you again."
Helga crossed her arms across her chest and turned away. "I'm never going to talk to her again."
"She really wants to talk to you again. And I think you should."
"You what?" Helga asked coldly.
"I think it would be good if you talked to her and, you know, listen. I mean, she might have a reasonable explanation…"
"For what? For dating another man?"
"As crazy as it may seem…it's true…"
"Blah, blah, blah," spat Helga. "Look, I don't want to listen to her stupid made-up stories. And you're making me feel bad. So just go."
"I'm serious, Helga! Just see her this weekend or something…take Jackie with you…"
"I'm serious too, Arnold. I'm seriously sick…and you need to just get out."
Arnold stood up and sighed. "Alright, I'm only leaving because you want me to…get well soon." He walked out of the room and Helga groaned and put the tray on the floor, slowly she fell asleep.
A/N: In the next chapter…Helga and Miriam…Miriam and Big Bob…Lila plans for something drastic…Arnold gets in trouble.
By the way…sorry if I have some spelling errors…I'm tired…I wanted to get this chapter up…I have writer's block.