Disclaimer: In case you were wondering, I don't own Lord of the Rings.
Which I'm sure you won't. Please don't sue me for having a little fun with
the characters.
Because I said so: Chapter 2
Dear Flabby,
I am concerned about a particular object which was stolen from me when I was young and foolish. All right, maybe a bit after that. You see, this halfling took it from us, and we want it back! [*gollum*] It came to us and it belongs to us! But master is taking care of us, we trusts him. [*gollum*] He's being kind to poor Smeagol.
To be honest, the reason I really don't want to hurt master is that [*gollum*] his enormous blue eyes terrify us. When I offered to guide him, I swore on the Precious, but [*shudders*] his eyes really made me do it. They're so big and bright that in the night, they can glow more than mine!
He's stuck with that fat halfling that I can't obey because, quite frankly, he doesn't have the steely Elijah gaze. [*gollum*] Please help us, Flabby. I can't go because he might look at me. Now all of the orcses and nazuls are pursuing us, hypnotized by his eyes.
We got over the Ring a long time ago. [*gollum*] Do something about the eyes!
~Smeagol
Dear Smeagol,
I think it is time you be truthful to yourself. Suppose it wasn't the eyes that make you crazy. Have you ever felt romantic attraction to males? Keep that in mind. You seem a bit orcish, so that could be their motive as well.
Also, be a bit friendlier to Sam. You of all people should know that it isn't that easy being under the Eye of Frodo. On top of that, he is his servant, and has to be faithful. AND he has to deal with you!
By the way, rabbit is A LOT better cooked.
P.S. Good luck! I wish you success with your romantic endeavors.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
***What do you think so far? It sucks? It's the best thing you've ever read? (As if!) Please review!!! It's my first fanfic, so I need to know if I'm on the right track. Thanks for reading this far!!***
Because I said so: Chapter 2
Dear Flabby,
I am concerned about a particular object which was stolen from me when I was young and foolish. All right, maybe a bit after that. You see, this halfling took it from us, and we want it back! [*gollum*] It came to us and it belongs to us! But master is taking care of us, we trusts him. [*gollum*] He's being kind to poor Smeagol.
To be honest, the reason I really don't want to hurt master is that [*gollum*] his enormous blue eyes terrify us. When I offered to guide him, I swore on the Precious, but [*shudders*] his eyes really made me do it. They're so big and bright that in the night, they can glow more than mine!
He's stuck with that fat halfling that I can't obey because, quite frankly, he doesn't have the steely Elijah gaze. [*gollum*] Please help us, Flabby. I can't go because he might look at me. Now all of the orcses and nazuls are pursuing us, hypnotized by his eyes.
We got over the Ring a long time ago. [*gollum*] Do something about the eyes!
~Smeagol
Dear Smeagol,
I think it is time you be truthful to yourself. Suppose it wasn't the eyes that make you crazy. Have you ever felt romantic attraction to males? Keep that in mind. You seem a bit orcish, so that could be their motive as well.
Also, be a bit friendlier to Sam. You of all people should know that it isn't that easy being under the Eye of Frodo. On top of that, he is his servant, and has to be faithful. AND he has to deal with you!
By the way, rabbit is A LOT better cooked.
P.S. Good luck! I wish you success with your romantic endeavors.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
***What do you think so far? It sucks? It's the best thing you've ever read? (As if!) Please review!!! It's my first fanfic, so I need to know if I'm on the right track. Thanks for reading this far!!***