The morning was still cold and hazy, when Buzz felt that he was being hit. And as the stupefied Captain opened his eyes, there were two armed young warriors in his teepee. They were poking him up with the unsharp ends of their lances.

"Yloes!"

"Vainamoinen ei ole tyytyvaeinen kaeytoekseesi!" the soldiers barked to him.

The baffled Buzz could not understand a letter. The name 'Vainamoinen' yet peeked out of the lingo, so it had to touch him somehow. But why so rudely? Had he done something wrong?

"What? What is this all about? Where are you taking me?" the a lot shorter man resisted, when the eight-foot tall males hitched him by his arms, starting forcibly pulling him along with them.

"Vainamoinen on pettynyt sinuun. Sinae et kunnioittanut haenen lahjaansa."

"Alas tulla, haen odottaa sinua teltassaan. Kalevaa on loukattu."

"Craters, you could even try to speak understandably!" he panted, and searched with his regard for help. Mira popped in his mind. Where were she and the assembler? "Eh, listen to me, now… uhm… I need Mira Nova here! Do you understand, M-I-R-A N-O-V-A? Eh… Sininen!"

The warriors' dark eyes were shifter to him. "Sinae haluat Sinisen mukaasi?"

Simpering he pointed towards her tent, "Sininen, yes, Sininen!"

The other man whistled loudly. From behind a near hut, ran an adolescent boy. "Kullervo! Mene hakemaan Sininen. Ylpeae Kuunsirppi haluaa Sinisen mukaansa."  Instantly, as the child was called with his name, he ran away and brought the half-sleeping Princess with him in a few minutes.

"Buzz? What's going on?" she rubbed her eyes, squinting in the dawn. The Captain was panicky, shedding hurried words.

"I don't know! I was kicked awake, like some criminal! Vainamoinen must be mad at me, or something. I don't know! But I need your help, I can't understand anything what they say!"

"Why would the chief be mad at you? You were the king of yesterday!" the blue girl followed on Lightyear's heels. He was hauled straight into the council tent, and almost thrown onto the floor.

"MARRIED?"

Dead silence.

The tent stood still. Every breath had ceased owing to this shriek. Buzz Lightyear stood stiff in the middle floor, his pose and mien bespeaking the most drastic expressions of stupefaction. Vainamoinen, opposite to him, rose up from his throne. His wizened face did not sing the songs of appeal.

"Miksi et ole tyytyvaeinen?"  he rasped.

Mira, standing rather timidly beside Buzz, poked her commanding officer. "Umh… Buzz? He… he asked you what's wrong."

"WRONG? WHAT´S WRONG? EVERYTHING IS WRONG!" Lightyear bellowed like a rusty foghorn.

And Nova's translator did its task, bringing every bite of anger into the chief's ears. His frown and wrinkles deepened. "I gave you the most valuable gift I could grant anyone. So why are you not satisfied? Why did you not go and receive your gift?"

Buzz' inhales had grown rapid. "Gift! Craters, that… A GIFT? That's no gift, that's…" he raved, nearly bursting.

The Tangean bit her lips. She had to figure out something to explain so that the nasty occasion would be solved somehow. Putting her hand on his anconal, she cursorily gave a sigh, "Buzz, please don't yell. I try to handle this. You… you're not quite yourself. I…"

"OF COURSE I AM MYSELF!"

"Buzz, please stay quiet now!" she barked. "You're only making things worse and insulting the chief. We couldn't be aware of their traditions, or habits. And so they are not aware or ours."

Vainamoinen, surrounded by his council, looked very sulky at the darker end of the teepee. He disliked the whispering of the skyfallen, and as well was becoming bitterer and bitterer because of Lightyear's bluster. But now Sininen had tapped forth, bowing her head in front of him.

"Honourable Vainamoinen, I beg you to forgive Proud Crescent his behavior. This is a very exceptional situation for our people. We… do have somewhat different laws and traditions in the place where we come from. That is, why…" she gulped to clear her dry palate, "…this is… umh… quite an extraordinary kind of gift regarding him. You must understand, that in our culture, women can… ermh… decide independently if they want to… well, in this case, marry someone."

"Well that is not what it is here." A raspy answer came back. "And I do not see, why Proud Crescent is disappointed. I prepared everything. If he was a man with no vaimo, a man with no bride, there should be no reason to dishonor me like this."

"Your honor, he does not mean to dishonor you. He is just… umh… quite surprised because of the unique nature of this… gift."

"And he shall be content with my gift, too, if he wishes to keep his settlement with our village. Otherwise… he and his companion are not welcome here any longer, and will be punished because of depreciating me." The old leader limbed back to his seat, setting his long fingers together to indicate conclusion.

Buzz shook his head in disbelief, almost ripping his beard away. This had to be a bad nightmare. A bad dream that would fade to the golden luster of the morning. But far, far away from that it was. The truth bit him with its sharp fangs.

"But, but…" Buzz took the speech, stuttering beaten, "W-what am I going to do with her? What if I… what if I had had someone already? You…"

"You did not have anyone. If you had had, then the situation would have been different. We do not accept polygamy. One for one, and they become one."

Turning to Nova, Lightyear growled low, "How did they know that I was a bachelor? How did they know I had no that kind of company?"

If Mira could have blushed like humans, she would have been bright red instantly. "They… I didn't know the meaning was this! They… came to interview me yesterday morning, and umh… asked everything about your family relations, friends and umh… dates. I swear I didn't know it was going to end like this! I thought it was just for some general purpose."

"Blast, right, general purpose!" he slapped his forehead, squinting his eyes, "And of course you had to reel off everything about my private life, what?"

"I didn't know…" she stuttered, feeling his furious burning gaze piercing her.

"Silence!" Vainamoinen's cough broke their quarrel. "You shall take your gift and go. I do not want to hear any more dishonoring in my tent! You should have nothing to complain. I gave you my daughter. She has never been touched by a man; as my progeny she is from a noble family, and even highly educated on our scale. So take her and go, and I will pardon your offense." With his cane, the Kalevan pointed at a female figure standing beside his chair.           

This woman did not really now resemble the strong hunter fighting against beards and lassoing jayhajokottajas. Her veiled head was bowed, even more now after listening to the bawl that had come out of his mouth.  Not a good start. Definitely not a good start. As her freedom was in any case over for the rest of her life, she would have wanted to hear at least a couple of kinder words. The heavy bridal jewellery and a long orange-blue robe were decorating her furthermore, like last night. The night she was left to wait.

"Alright, alright." Lightyear forcibly collected the remains of his refined manners, bending somewhat down in front of the austere chief. "I apologize my umh… my inconsiderate speech. I wish this could be brought to a uhm… good end. I'll take the gift and go." But on his tongue roamed way much other kinds of expression. If he could have spat his insults against Vainamoinen's face freely, he would have definitely done that.

"Apology accepted."

The village chief urged his daughter to leave the council teepee. Buzz stormed out, Mira and the 'gift' on the trail. Huffing and puffing he stomped to his own hut, not even glancing at who or what came behind him. Only at the flap he noticed the sand crepitating behind him, and took a leer over his shoulder.

"Oh, you", he heaved a half-annoyed sigh. Rising the flap door, he gesticulated to her to go in. "Now I have no idea what I'm going to do with you. Craters… oh craters, what kind of trick they did to me! And of course you didn't even object it, did you?" he darkly asked.

Yoka blinked her eyes. What the drat had that male just said? The tone was not very kind-sounding either. "Mitae? Anteeksi vaan, mutta en tajunnut oravan narskutustakaan tuosta puheesta."

Blam, and more enigmas. The language barrier was built instantly up as Mira's wrist communicator was not present.

"Oh tetra-craters and their blasts!" Buzz smeared his face with his palm, "And of course you can't even speak understandably. Where did Mira go with her assembler?"

But she was nowhere in sight. After the council tent was left, she had vanished somewhere towards the other side of the settlement. "Crrrraterrrs!" a gurgle came from between his teeth. He rushed inside the tent, colliding with Yoka. She looked merely irresolute, standing at the doorway.

"You… now, uh, don't just stand there, go somewhere! I don't know what I'm supposed to do with you. I need to think, craters, THINK!" pushing her more in, he himself decided to take a hike. Outside the village, in the cool riverbank were some bushes, where he could rage. Think, think, think, he needed to think!

Yoka-hanen sat for a few minutes stoop on a flat bench. The thoughts were shiftless, she was without an idea what to do. Yesterday she had waited, and now she waited again? Waiting… no one had told her what to do. She was… what was she? Proud Crescent's wife. Turned to serve him, to live the rest of her days in this tent? Far, far away from her decision was it all, and she should not protest. Kalevan housewives were supposed to be humble to their owners, and follow their every whim without complaining. Generations and again generations it had happened along the same formula. Maidens were given out to marriages, they did the housework, gave birth to children –preferably boys- and died, sated of the days, if the skies allowed. Well… maybe it would not be that different here than at home, when she still was free as an eagle.

But… a bad taste felt in her mouth. Why had Proud Crescent yelled at her like that? What had he meant with that weird pig Latin? Had she done something wrong? She was not initially appealing against her father's choice… and what could she have done to it? Nothing. Fairly nothing. But what made her displeasing in his eyes? Yoka did not know his character almost at all, but assumed that she would learn to know him gradually. But it was not supposed to start like this. She revised in her mind the stories her friends had told her about marital issues and traditions. During the years, her childhood chums had been given to men, to warriors, smiths, craftsmen. Most of them had moved to other villages, no more visiting Kaleva. But those, who still lived here as mothers, had prepared her step by step to this. Of course she, as the village chief's daughter, would be spared for someone honorable and noble.

Nevertheless… not like this it was supposed to go on. His emphasis had been icy. Vanishing somewhere like a stubborn fox, he had left her alone again. Yoka-hanen leaned her head to her hands. Not a crackle was heard in the dank teepee. "Does he not like me, or is he just temporally angered? I did not see him as annoying before. He is a bit airheaded, proud, stubborn, and cannot obviously move around in the forests without a bodyguard to save him every other hour, but I did not see him like this before…" Sniffing the air, she winced from her thoughts. It was truly nastily stuffy inside here. Men. They did not care about cleaning, did they? But how could she have understood that Buzz' chores did a droid, back on Capital Planet? The girl rose up, taking a survey around. Hmph. Dirty clothes lied here and there, the tent was like a landfill.

At the flap was piled a large collection of packages. Yesterday night, behind the backs of the celebrating Kalevans, some women had carried her whole fortune here. Obviously Buzz had been so fatigued in the night that he had not even paid attention that there was something extra in his hut. At first, the woman would need to get rid of her bridal attire. Of course it was lustrous and beautiful, but not handy in work. There would be myriads of things to do. She would not start weeping after him, but undo her property and set herself to live here.

The wedding gown was quickly packed tidily in a pelt, and the glimmering jewels put aside. Yoka hopped into comfortable suede trousers, dressed a long leather shirt on, tying it up with a wide belt. Moccasins on, and snap, hands on work! "Hmm… I need to vent here." She threw the flap completely open, and unfolded the covers of some of the window holes. Although the flue should have ventilated the dankness away, it was not doing its purpose for a reason or another. "Well, a good cross-draught does the job."

She dismounted her packings, made a bed beside a big earthenware, enhanced the kitchen corner, swept the floor, and put everything literally in another order. Tossing Buzz' sweaty jumpsuit and socks into a pail, she noticed there was no water brought in at all. "Let us use the kaivo that was dug by Proud Crescent. His suits will need good soaking before I will take them down to the river for backwashing." Taking two big buckets in her hands, she traipsed towards the well.

Buzz sat stupefied on a mossy stone, and watched the whitecaps of the stream. The water was black in the dawn, black and cold like his mind. Conspiracy… schemes… what did they have against him? Why had the chief done this to him? Long enough he had loitered in this backwoods, and now this. Impossible. Impossible. And why it had to be she? From all the women in the village it had to be she?

"Crrrraterrrrssss!" he ripped in turn his beard and hair. "She's not even my type! Craters, I wasn't ready for marriage, or at all for a relationship. Of course Dad had been pestering me from day to day, but I wasn't ready and I AM not ready! Hmh… maybe I wanted to meet someone for a while ago, but the case of the Gate at least brought me back to ground. I have no time for such thing as dating! I am a space ranger, I defend the universe. A lone wolf, who fights evil proudly when the others fail! Star Command is my life, not a marriage."

But on the other hand, he could not annul anything. Vainamoinen had warned him about a punishment, if he would not accept his gift. Buzz could not afford arguing with him, insults had already left his throat. "She, she's definitely not my type!" his brains spun all kinds of miscellaneous pieces of hatred around and around. "She has insulted my pride! I'm not supposed to be saved from places! I can do my job alone! I don't need anyone saving me like if I was some helpless baby! And how she, she dared to laugh at me like that, puts me flying into a mudhole, and laughs at my misery!" he recalled the hunting trip, his fists clenching. "Why to try matching me with the worst possible person?" In his furious arrogance, he did not even interest himself to think what good features she might have. Only there was the darker side. "She's so opinionated, skeptical, self-admiring! And craters, almost half a foot taller than me! What kind of combination is that? To give me a taller woman than I am! Ggrmhpffrghgrrrrhhhh!" he squinted.

The spirits did not condensate, but his inner fury only grew. The more he thought about the impossible events, the more he was assured, that someone was plotting a conspiracy against him. What, where, why, he did not know. But as the mind is stressed out, nervous and demented, it can build up almost any kind of absurdities. Buzz had been in the dark side, his mind had gone insane already once. He relied too much on himself, thinking that only he was right in this galaxy, and the others were automatically wrong. A misfortunate gene he had inherited from Zurg; egoism and stubbornness in one little package.

Lightyear had no idea, how long he had sulked in the shades of the leafless birches. But his stomach roared, telling that it had not been filled with breakfast. He left the stone, irrationally remembering that someone of suuremo Vellamo's granddaughters would bring him ready-made delicacies. Of course they would not do their service any longer, since Buzz had now a private cook. Nonetheless… his jaw dropped, as he achieved his teepee. A thrombi had rampaged there? Everything was out of order, flaps open, all the charming warmth escaped to the morning's chillness!

"Sweet mother of Venus! What is going on here?" he brawled, frowning at Yoka, who was cooking at the fire. The tent was full of weird, unfamiliar furniture, his own 'important' things put in completely wrong places. Buzz forcibly began dragging one large, decorated earthenware to a different spot. "This is not supposed to be in this corner! And why are all the flaps open? You have let all the warmth out! Craters, what a mess!"

She goggled shiftless at his blustering for a couple of seconds, then gathered her boldness. She had just moved that jug away from the middle floor beside the doorway, because it was badly on the way. Whatever Proud Crescent was, a king or whatever, he would not disorganize anything here! If she made his food, washed his laundry, chopped the firewood, carried the water and hunted the meat, she would at least stipulate where the practical furniture was!

"Anna sen purkin olla siinae paikassa, mihin sen asetin. Se on tiellae, jos se joekoettaa keskellae lattiaa!" she snapped, and grapped the pot from the other side.

"Leave it alone! It's not going to jut at the entrance! I'll stumble with it!" he pushed it forwards, and she pushed it back. Crumples stayed on both faces, and neither one gave up.

"Etkoe tajua, ettae taeaellae tarvitaan tilaa! Ylpeae Kuunsirppi voi rauhassa tehdae mitae haentae huvittaa, mutta minun taeytyy pitaeae koti kunnossa!"

"Blast, could you even speak understandably? What am I supposed to get out of that devolved gibberish?" he roared, not getting the earthenware to glide an inch further. He abruptly loosed his strong hold of the dish, and made Yoka-hanen fall down on the floor with it. She was pushing it hard to his direction, and as there was no counterforce, her own weight and thrust made the whole entity tumble.

"Fine! Keep your stupid pot! Why don't you move to live inside it, if it's so dratted important to you?" he bawled one last time, and stormed out, leaving her alone.

The physically and mentally hurt woman stood up from the floor, shaking dust off her clothes. So… he had not cooled down. Something nettled in her eyes, the feeling she had not sensed since childhood. Tears. Both angry and sad, she carried the jug back to its previous place. But what was his problem? She had done definitely nothing wrong against him, moreover trying to appease his early morning's cynical mentality. The roasting fish and root crops on the pan were meant for him. And this was the thank you for her work, after cleaning up the teepee? Sighing deep, she sat down at the fire. Well, Yoka was used to men's tricky behavior. Her father had all kinds of strange psycholepsies from time to time. Little whims that went over by the time. What if he… just had an extremely bad day? Maybe it would be different tomorrow, who knew?

…to be continued…