XVI

CJ spotted Toby across the room, and made her way over to him with a smile. She followed his gaze to where it lingered on his ex-wife.

"Regrets, Toby?" she asked, shrewdly but gently. He slid his gaze over to meet hers.

"I have no regrets," he said simply. He shifted his feet. "Just... areas where the universe elected to act inconveniently."

She had to smirk. Ah, the Ziegler approach. Why wallow in self-recrimination when there was an entire universe out there to shift the blame onto?

"Did you invite her?" she asked. He answered with a shrug that was a 'yes'. CJ raised an inquisitive eyebrow. "Up to something, Toby?"

The look he gave her was unreadable.

"You should go over there," she nudged. A few couples were moving about the dance floor, bride and groom chief amongst them. Even if Toby conspicuously failed to say anything appropriate, he could still ask her to dance.

He shrugged again. "We'll end up gravitating together eventually. We usually do."

"Why Toby," she smirked. "If I didn't know better, I might think you were a romantic."

"Then it's just as well you know better," he said dryly, slipping away from her in the direction of the bar.

CJ watched him go. Toby Ziegler, on a mission to woo his ex-wife back? Well... stranger things had happened, she supposed.

She looked around the hall, feeling suddenly very isolated. Everybody seemed to have somebody to hang on to; the dancers were slow-dancing, the president was smiling softly over something with his wife, Sam and Steve were casually holding hands as they chatted to the Surgeon General...

She glowered abruptly down at the glass of wine in her hand. Stupid wine. Stupid bridesmaids' dress. CJ Cregg, moping in corners at other people's weddings? Hell no.

She spotted Liz Bartlet laughing over something with her teenage fellow bridesmaids, and smiled, cutting through the crowd to join their little group. Being single wasn't a reason to bemoan your failed love life - it was an excuse to party with the girls. Now, if only somebody at this party could lay their hands on a copy of The Jackal...

"Hey, Steve."

"Oh, hey, Josh." He straightened up from the wall he'd been leaning against and smiled at his boyfriend's friend.

"You okay there?"

"I'm fine," he shrugged. He didn't know all that many people at this party - at least not to talk to - but at this stage in the evening he was happy to stand back and people-watch.

Josh appeared to understand the instinct, coming over to stand against the wall beside him. "Where's Sam?"

"I left him talking to the Surgeon General about- actually, I have no idea what he was talking about. Which is pretty much why I left him there."

Josh nodded absently.

"I liked your speech," Steve told him, after a moment.

"Thanks." A small smile crossed his face as his eye fell on Charlie and Zoey. "They're cute, aren't they?"

"Totally." Suddenly feeling melancholy, he sighed softly into his beer.

Josh, apparently, was more perceptive than Sam's tales of cluelessness painted him. "What's up?"

"It's nothing," Steve said quickly, shaking his head.

"Yeah?" His eyebrows said he knew different.

Steve sighed again, and focused on his beer. "I just... I just worry sometimes that Sam might... he might want this." He shrugged, spreading his hands to take in the happy couple and the entire hall around them.

"He loves you," Josh told him, looking at him concernedly.

"I know that," Steve admitted easily. Sam was near pathologically honest, and he didn't take such declarations lightly. If he said it, he meant it. But... "But I just worry that he's gonna start thinking about... this. Marriage. Kids. Sam... he's gonna want that. He deserves that."

"You're right." Josh frowned and straightened up. You could almost see his features shift as he sloughed off the image of rumpled, casual partygoer and his face tightened into the sharper lines of the political animal underneath. "That's the next step." He started to pace and gesticulate.

"After the hate crimes bill, we don't rest on our laurels; we have to revisit marriage legislation, take a look at adoption - this is only the beginning in the war on discrimination. We have to build a whole cohesive strategy, go after it all at once - if we leave a single corner untouched in a compromise, it's just gonna come creeping back in again the moment we're out of the door. We need to make it so the next generation of bigots have literally no foundations to build on." He stopped, abruptly, as if only just remembering he was talking to a non-politician. "I'll talk to Toby after the party," he nodded. "This is our next item on the agenda, I think; it's the logical progression."

Steve blinked at him for a few moments. "You know, bitching about this kind of thing does not normally produce this effect," he noted.

Josh shrugged, and gave him a winning smirk. "Hey, welcome to the big leagues. You want it changed? We'll change it."

Steve somehow suspected it was a little more complicated than that; but still, Josh's grin was infectious. He shook off his contemplative mood. Yes, Sam might indeed want those things, but had he already forgotten that Sam was a dreamer? He wasn't going to give in and take another route just because conventional wisdom said you had to. If there wasn't a route to what he wanted where he was - well, he'd just go ahead and build one.

Could you change the world so easily? His cynical side wanted to say no - but five months ago, wouldn't he have said that about the US military ever being forced to repeal Don't Ask Don't Tell?

Sometimes, a small group of people could change the world - and right here in this room were the people that did it.

And his boyfriend was one of them. He allowed himself a self-satisfied grin, and sipped some more of his beer.

Avoidance tactics couldn't last forever. Eventually, it came down to a point where it was stand still and let her approach him, or leave no doubt whatsoever that he was trying to escape.

"Leo." She smiled tightly, awkwardly, looking at the floor more than at him.

"Jenny." He sought for something to say, and took the easy route in a little too much of a rush. "You look great."

Was he smiling too much? Not enough? Looking like a petrified zombie? His money was on the latter.

She looked up at him, and caught herself before she could make a face. That was Jenny; always so controlled. But then, that was him as well, too much and not enough of the time - and it turned out that side of him had finally killed their marriage where his uncontrolled dark side hadn't managed to. "I wish I could say the same... Have you been ill?"

All his muscles tensed up, and his first instinct was to lie. The way he'd always lied, because if you didn't speak the truth then it didn't have to be true. And Jenny had always accepted the lie, because as long as she did they could both pretend there was nothing wrong.

But they weren't married anymore. And maybe if he lied, she wouldn't ever have to know about it...

Perhaps nobility won out. Or perhaps it was just masochism. Most days, it was pretty hard to tell the difference.

"I..." he hesitated, tasting the bitter flavour of the words that were to come. "A couple of months ago, I started drinking again. For a... for a while."

Now, now she met his eyes. He wanted to look away, but couldn't make himself. He saw it all; the distress, the heart-breaking disappointment, and worst of all the resignation. The expression that said 'I hoped this wouldn't happen, but I'm not surprised it did'.

He knew it well. He knew it very, very well.

"Oh, Leo..." she said softly.

And he wanted to say something, but what was there? She held his gaze for a moment, asking for... something, that he didn't have to give her. And then she turned away.

He folded his arms defensively across his chest, and watched her go.

"Hi."

Mallory didn't recognise the voice, and couldn't help but frown a little as she saw who it belonged to. Not reading or just ignoring the signs, Sam's boyfriend casually snagged the seat across from her.

"Hey. I'm Steve Radcliffe."

"Mallory O'Brien," she volunteered coldly. Couldn't this guy take a hint? Apparently not, because he scooted his chair up closer to her and flashed her a smile.

He was cute too, dammit. The good-looking guys were hard enough to find at the best of times, they really had to start pairing off with each other?

"You're Leo McGarry's daughter, right?"

"Yeah." As can be told from the hereditary ability to be uncommunicative. Take a freakin' hint, buddy.

"I've met him. He's a great guy."

Okay, maybe that was worthy of a slight smile, even if it was blatant sucking up.

Steve absently pushed his beer across the tabletop. "Sam's a great guy too. I can understand how you'd be pissed at me for stealing him."

"It's not you I'm pissed at," she scowled, frustration egging her into speaking up. She glared at the tabletop. "Apparently he didn't even trust me enough to let me know who he really was."

Steve touched her hand gently and gave her a soft smile. "Hey. You know he's never dated a guy before... maybe he honestly didn't even know he was bisexual."

"Oh, how can you be gay and not know about it?" she demanded fiercely, thumping the table a little harder than she'd meant to. Steve rescued his wobbling beer, took a sip, and shrugged at her.

"Hey, he's Sam Seaborn. He's always been exceptionally clueless."

Despite herself, she snorted. "You got that right." She glanced towards the bar. "Any more of that beer going begging?" she wondered.