AN- I will only be adding one more non wrestler character. Sorry to anyone who wanted in, but I cant keep track of all you people! AHHHHHHHH! 40 reviews!! (Gives the reviewers candy and puppies.. no not those kind you perverts!) thank you all sooo much!!! And now, for the final non wwe character… please welcome….
Angrymew2 as Jade!
The scene opens with a picture of the house on the beach. On closer inspection, we realize that it is shaking. Lets not go into detail, this is pg 13 after all.
Gold Dust- (Who was getting ready to feel himself up)awwww, no entertainment for (tries to bite air but misses, biting his tongue) Dwold Dust.
EdgesGothDiva- Go away….
Gold Dust- Dwy dould dI, dis is after dall a fan fic! dim dreat dat dacting! Di dan do domedy, Di dan do dragedy! I'll give you ass cream (wink wink)
EdgesGothDiva- O_o………… Bannonluke, get the EWOKS!!!
A bunch of E-woks run out and shoot/bite/claw Gold Dust, causing him to scream like a little girl. In mere seconds, the girly screaming stops and the ewoks walk away. One of them has a blonde wig in its jaws. Another is carrying an industrial sized jar of ass cream.
Ewok- Rawr ra Rawr rawr wr ra rawr ra rawr er raw war rawr. (A.N- what, I don't speak Ewok!!!)
EdgesGothDiva- Uh Bannonluke, what'd he say?
Bannonluke- He said that it's the best stuff on the market and it is very….relaxing.
EdgesGothDiva- O_o
Bannonluke- Well I have to get back, I need to write the scene in WWF Goes Jurassic Park (A.N-That fic is hilarious, read it if you haven't) where Edge gets impaled on a ……oops.
EdgesGothDiva- GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR! I warned you! I said specifically that if you harmed Edge, I would go Bloodrayne on your ass!
Bannonluke- Oh great, now I have another psychopath that wants to kill me….
Before his very eyes, EdgesGothDiva starts to transform. Her brownish red hair becomes a pure red, her eyes become green, she grows fangs, becomes a lot paler, and her outfit shrinks a few sizes. As the finishing touch, Bloodrayne's trademark blades attach themselves at EdgesGothDiva's elbows.
EdgesGothDiva- Time to die Bannonluke!
BannonLuke- Wow, she's hot…..I mean AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!
The two take off down the beach, Bannonluke running for all hell with EdgesGothDiva right on his heels.
The camera stays focused on them until they fade from sight, leaving a very confused cameraman behind.
Cameraman- Uh………
His pause is cut off by a rustling in the bushes, so hoping for something interesting, he turns the camera to face the noise. A female head pops out of the bushes and she readjusts her army helmet with leaves on the top, and looks through a pair of binoculars.
Girl- Muwahahahaha! Phase one is complete, I have located my target. Soon, he will be all mine, and that stupid gothic bloodsucker wannabe bitch will be out of the picture, for I am Jade, and Edge and I are meant to be. Muwahahahahahaha!
She then pulls her head back into the bushes, and in a few seconds, the bush lifts off he ground, revealing a pair of pokemon sneaker clad feet. The feet started to walk, and the bush moved with them. It zig zaggs across the screen (like in cartoons), and when the bush reached the houses steps, Jade dove out of it in a clumsy ninja roll, and immediately running up the stairs and ringing the doorbell. It swung open and Jade's jaw dropped. This was going to be a lot easier than she thought. There, standing in the doorway, was Edge.
Edge- Let me guess, fan girl right?
Jade simply stands there, drooling and stuttering.
Jade- Its….y…you! A..and you ju…juts spoke t..to me!
Edge- Um, do you want something? I was kind of in the middle of something…
Jade- Yes, yes Edge. There is something I want.
Edge- Well please tell me so I can get back to who erm..i mean what I was doing.
Jade- I want YOU! As she speaks, she pulls out a burlap sack, grabs Edge and throws him into the sack, tying it and running out the door.
Back UpstairsMelissa is sitting up in bed, covered by sheets and looking rather annoyed.
Melissa- What the hell is taking him so long?
After waiting about three minutes,
Eric Bischoff- Did I just hear myself say three minutes?!
EdgesGothDiva (Back from chasing Bannonluke)- No, I said it you moron.
Eric Bischoff- Damn.
EdgesGothDiva- Rhyno!!!
Rhyno flys across the screen, goring Bitchoff straight into the side of the house, leaving a dent.
EdgesGothDiva- GORE GORE GORE!
Readers- GORE GORE GORE!
Ewoks- RAWR RAWR RAWR!
Rhyno gets up, dusts himself off, and vanishes.
Anyway, like I was saying before I was so rudely interrupted, after waiting three minutes, Melissa finally got tired of waiting, got out of bed, and made an attempt at getting dressed.
Melissa- Where the fuck did he throw my shirt?!?!
After another three minutes, Melissa walked into the kitchen, where Caitlin and Stacy sat talking, due to lack of better things to do.
Melissa- Have any of you seen Edge lately?
Caitlin- Uh, I saw him answer the door, and then some girl in pokemon sneakers and Edge gear threw him in a sack and ran away.
Melissa- (Growling) Jade……
Stacy- Jade?
Melissa- It has to be her, she is trying yet again to steal my Edgeypoo, but she will not succeeded. For the time is upon us, and I must act. As of now there are two queens of the edgeheads, but there can be only one.
Highlander music starts to play and Melissa stands majestically while her hair whips in the wind that just happened to start to blow in the kitchen.
Karen- Can I come?
Melissa- You so totally ruined the moment Karen, and why do you want to come, she didn't take Jeff.
Karen- Yea, I know, but you're my friend and you're going to need help, and that's what friends are for.
Audience- Awwwwww!
Karen- Plus, he was a really nice piece of ass.
Melissa- Well there you go, ruining the moment again.
Karen- Pwease! I can help you!
Melissa- Fine, you can come, but please, try to act intelligent.
Karen- What's intelligent mean?
Melissa- Uh….It means that you stay infront of me.
Karen- Kay!
Melissa- Hold on Edgeypoo! Im coming!
Meanwhile, in Jade's supersecret hideout on the other side of the island………..Edge- Super secret?!?! It's a huge statue of my head out in the open! How the hell is that super secret?!
Jade- With the cloaking device my love, watch.
Jade pushes a button, and Edges face becomes Paul Heymans.
Jade- Muwahahahaha!
Edge- O_o its still a giant head in the middle of nowhere…
Jade- Silence my darling, you can speak later.
Jade winks and wiggles her eyebrows.
Edge- Oh no
Jade walks over to a small statue of Edge's head, lifts off the top, and pushes the big red button that was concealed within. The wall closest to her revolves, revealing an arsenal of dominatrix gear. Whips, chains, handcuffs, leather, whipped cream, the whole nine yards. Jade selects a whip, a set of handcuffs, and the bottle of whipped cream. She sauntered towards edge, attempting a seductive smile that came out looking like Christian when he did a DDP smile.
Edge- I never thought id say this, but I miss Melissa!
Jade- (tries to crack the whip but fails, hitting herself in the face) Don't speak that name! You are mine now, our wedding is arranged for tomorrow. You shall speak that name no more beloved. She is gone, and I am queen of the edgeheads, meaning I get you! Muwahahahaha!
Edge- Noooooooooooooooooo!
Will Melissa get to Edge in time?
Melissa- Damn straight I will
What happened to Bannonluke?
Bannonluke- (Hiding behind a rock) Is she gone?
Is this story actually developing a plot?
Cricket- Chirp Chirp
All this and more the next time this lazy ass author decides to update!!!