Gir was watching the Scary Monkey Show when the doorbell rang. Maybe the
pizza humans were there with his chocolate bubblegum pizza! He happily
skipped over to the front door and opened it, expecting to see the pizza
guy or at least a leprechaun, but instead the Dib human was waiting
outside.
"HI!" Gir squeaked.
"Uh, hi," came the Dib's nervous reply. His voice was kinda weak and his eye was all twitchy, but other than that he LOOKED pretty okay, "is Zim around?"
Gir attempted to think for a second. Would master be mad at him if he let the Dib monkey in? Cupcakes were good. In fact, there were some cupcakes in the fridge! YAAAAY! Did humans like cupcakes? Only one way to find out.
"Master's not here right now!" Gir squeaked happily, "Come on in!"
the Dib human smiled nervously and stepped inside. Why was he coming inside again? Oh well. Gir knew he had been thinking about something important...
"Why is the grass green?" He asked.
"Uh," the Dib human stammered, "there's stuff called chlorophyll in it."
"Why do birds fly?"
"Because they have wings?"
"Are dogs stupid?"
"Some of them."
"Do you like cupcakes"
"Y-"
"YAAAAAAY!" Gir yelled as he ran out of the room.
Dib rubbed his forehead, feeling the beginnings of a MAJOR headache setting in. how could Zim STAND that little robot? It was so annoying! He briefly wondered where the little robot went, then decided that he didn't really care. It didn't matter in the long run, did it?
Gir sat on the kitchen table, humming something that sounded like a mix of Linkin Park and "Happy Happy Joy Joy". Why had he come in here again? Goldfish were nice. Maybe he should get one some time.
Back out in the livingroom, Dib jumped in surprise when Zim opened the door. The two foes stared at each other. Last minute, maybe-this-wasn't- such-a-good-idea, too-late-to-back-out-now thoughts bounced around in Dib's head. Zim just wondered what the hell his archenemy was doing sitting on his couch.
"GIR!" he yelled "WHY IS THE DIB HUMAN IN HERE!?!?!" Zim figured that this whole problem was probably Gir's fault. In general, most things that went wrong were Gir's fault.
"Zim, calm down" Dib said, feeling exasperated already. What had he gotten himself into? "I just want to talk to you. It's important."
"Listen earth monkey!" came the acid reply, "I'm not falling for your foolish tricks of... FOOLISHNESS! Computer! Remove the intruder!"
"Nyah! No! Please! I'm begging you! It's not a trick!" Dib knew he sounded hysterical, probably because he was. Zim was his last chance! If he couldn't get Zim to help, Dib would be completely on his own!
Zim knew he would probably regret what he was about to do next, but he couldn't stand the pathetic look on the dirt boy's face. "Computer! I changed my mind! Restrain the intruder, but don't remove him!" several metal arms wrapped around the Earthanoid, holding him in place. "I'm listening," Zim said in what he perceived to be a dangerously quiet tone, "Talk."
Dib heaved a deep sigh. Well, too late to turn back now. "I need your help." Zim's pupils got real small and he started to say something, but Dib cut him off. "Please, just let me explain!"
Zim nodded and listened with growing interest while Dib told him the whole thing. This was too perfect. The weak little human worm baby was in very real danger and had no way out. A little chuckle started somewhere softly in Zim's throat, then grew progressively louder until his sides hurt and his whole body was shaking with maniacal laughter. It was just too priceless!
Dib tried to swallow the lump growing in his throat. Why had he ever believed that Zim might help him? All he had managed to do was to give the alien dirtbag a good laugh.
Finally, Zim got his laughter under control enough for him to speak. "Why," he said, still laughing a little, "would I want to help YOU?" Zim stood there waiting for his response, still giggling.
Dib wrinkled his nose slightly. It was bad enough when girls giggled. Before he even realized what he was doing, Dib said "I can make it worth your time."
That stopped Zim's laughter. What did the earth boy mean by that? "Worth my time?" he said, raising a nonexistent eyebrow.
"Yeah," Dib said, clearly making it up as he went along, "If you help me, I'll leave you alone for a month."
"Forever." Zim figured he might as well make his demands clear from the very start.
"For a year"
"Forever"
"Forever" Dib surrendered with a sigh, looking at the floor. Things were NOT going as planned...
Zim wasn't exactly sure HOW he was going to help Dib, but that wasn't important right now. If he helped Dib, that meant he could conquer this miserable planet faster and more easily. "Computer, put him down." The computer dropped the little earth monkey roughly. Dib started to climb to his feet, but let out a cry of pain and fell back to the ground, writhing in agony from another "attack". Zim watched with mingled amusement and smugness. When Dib was finally able to climb to his feet, Zim reached out his hand. Dib reluctantly shook it, obviously not entirely happy with the agreement.
For some reason, Dib felt like he had just sold his soul.
"HI!" Gir squeaked.
"Uh, hi," came the Dib's nervous reply. His voice was kinda weak and his eye was all twitchy, but other than that he LOOKED pretty okay, "is Zim around?"
Gir attempted to think for a second. Would master be mad at him if he let the Dib monkey in? Cupcakes were good. In fact, there were some cupcakes in the fridge! YAAAAY! Did humans like cupcakes? Only one way to find out.
"Master's not here right now!" Gir squeaked happily, "Come on in!"
the Dib human smiled nervously and stepped inside. Why was he coming inside again? Oh well. Gir knew he had been thinking about something important...
"Why is the grass green?" He asked.
"Uh," the Dib human stammered, "there's stuff called chlorophyll in it."
"Why do birds fly?"
"Because they have wings?"
"Are dogs stupid?"
"Some of them."
"Do you like cupcakes"
"Y-"
"YAAAAAAY!" Gir yelled as he ran out of the room.
Dib rubbed his forehead, feeling the beginnings of a MAJOR headache setting in. how could Zim STAND that little robot? It was so annoying! He briefly wondered where the little robot went, then decided that he didn't really care. It didn't matter in the long run, did it?
Gir sat on the kitchen table, humming something that sounded like a mix of Linkin Park and "Happy Happy Joy Joy". Why had he come in here again? Goldfish were nice. Maybe he should get one some time.
Back out in the livingroom, Dib jumped in surprise when Zim opened the door. The two foes stared at each other. Last minute, maybe-this-wasn't- such-a-good-idea, too-late-to-back-out-now thoughts bounced around in Dib's head. Zim just wondered what the hell his archenemy was doing sitting on his couch.
"GIR!" he yelled "WHY IS THE DIB HUMAN IN HERE!?!?!" Zim figured that this whole problem was probably Gir's fault. In general, most things that went wrong were Gir's fault.
"Zim, calm down" Dib said, feeling exasperated already. What had he gotten himself into? "I just want to talk to you. It's important."
"Listen earth monkey!" came the acid reply, "I'm not falling for your foolish tricks of... FOOLISHNESS! Computer! Remove the intruder!"
"Nyah! No! Please! I'm begging you! It's not a trick!" Dib knew he sounded hysterical, probably because he was. Zim was his last chance! If he couldn't get Zim to help, Dib would be completely on his own!
Zim knew he would probably regret what he was about to do next, but he couldn't stand the pathetic look on the dirt boy's face. "Computer! I changed my mind! Restrain the intruder, but don't remove him!" several metal arms wrapped around the Earthanoid, holding him in place. "I'm listening," Zim said in what he perceived to be a dangerously quiet tone, "Talk."
Dib heaved a deep sigh. Well, too late to turn back now. "I need your help." Zim's pupils got real small and he started to say something, but Dib cut him off. "Please, just let me explain!"
Zim nodded and listened with growing interest while Dib told him the whole thing. This was too perfect. The weak little human worm baby was in very real danger and had no way out. A little chuckle started somewhere softly in Zim's throat, then grew progressively louder until his sides hurt and his whole body was shaking with maniacal laughter. It was just too priceless!
Dib tried to swallow the lump growing in his throat. Why had he ever believed that Zim might help him? All he had managed to do was to give the alien dirtbag a good laugh.
Finally, Zim got his laughter under control enough for him to speak. "Why," he said, still laughing a little, "would I want to help YOU?" Zim stood there waiting for his response, still giggling.
Dib wrinkled his nose slightly. It was bad enough when girls giggled. Before he even realized what he was doing, Dib said "I can make it worth your time."
That stopped Zim's laughter. What did the earth boy mean by that? "Worth my time?" he said, raising a nonexistent eyebrow.
"Yeah," Dib said, clearly making it up as he went along, "If you help me, I'll leave you alone for a month."
"Forever." Zim figured he might as well make his demands clear from the very start.
"For a year"
"Forever"
"Forever" Dib surrendered with a sigh, looking at the floor. Things were NOT going as planned...
Zim wasn't exactly sure HOW he was going to help Dib, but that wasn't important right now. If he helped Dib, that meant he could conquer this miserable planet faster and more easily. "Computer, put him down." The computer dropped the little earth monkey roughly. Dib started to climb to his feet, but let out a cry of pain and fell back to the ground, writhing in agony from another "attack". Zim watched with mingled amusement and smugness. When Dib was finally able to climb to his feet, Zim reached out his hand. Dib reluctantly shook it, obviously not entirely happy with the agreement.
For some reason, Dib felt like he had just sold his soul.