A/N: This fits between chapters 5 and 6. This is dedicated to everyone out there who has ever found light and life in love.
(¯`'·.¸(¯`'·. Chapter 6 Excerpt .·'´¯)¸.·'´¯)
(¯`'·. Escape .·'´¯)
She stood in the rain, letting the water splash on her skin. It drove against her skin, turning it pale and clammy. She was so very cold, her teeth chattering. Her body was shaking. But she could hardly feel that cold; finally Quistis had found an escape.
It was a kitchen knife. It was simple and shiny with a black wooden handle. One she had used many times to make dinner for her and her husband.
A dinning room table she had sat at many times, imaging a family. A home, a life with a man she loved. A man who loved her back. One that didn't see her as simply a toy to be used and tossed aside. A real man, not the man she had married.
This was a decision she could never take back.
To marry him had locked her forever in a gilded cage. A cage with only one key, the tides had turned. At first Castle had been an escape, now she needed an escape from him.
Quistis wasn't sure if she ever loved him, really. How could she love someone who hurt her so much? How could she love someone who had made her long for the pain? It was the pain that drowned out the numbing sensation in her heart. Still she wanted to make him happy, even though their entire marriage had been a fraud.
Always trying to make him happy. Running around on broken glass picking up after him. Lying for him, doing anything he wanted. All she wanted was to be happy.
She was tired of making excuses for him. Tired of blaming it all on herself. Seifer had shown her that she could be free. Through him she had found her escape, she only hoped that he wouldn't be too angry.
After tonight Castle would never hurt her again.
After Ultimicia she was never the same. Time Compression had changed them all, drawing her further into her loneliness. She had lost herself in the swirling colors and the glass bubbles. Who was she anyway? A SeeD for hire? Or simply a lost golden haired girl screaming for help. She no longer knew herself, no longer knew what kind of soul lay inside her.
She was so different from all of them. No one ever saw, no one ever noticed. Constantly alone in a room full of people. No one ever wanted to listen, no one ever seemed to want to help. She cried out to them, calling to someone to come rescue her. Clutching on to her last shred of self-being she agreed to marry Castle.
Seifer had asked why she married him. The answer made sense to her; she wanted to feel desired. After Squall had turned her down, she felt like she was drifting lost at sea. Castle was a life raft, one that would take her away from the Garden. The bad memories and the friends that had seemed to abandon her when she needed them the most.
Away from the greed that was corrupting the youth. Garden was all about money, Cid selling their services to the highest bidder. It made Quistis felt like a common whore.
So instead she gave her love, and her life to Castle Billings. Only to lose herself even more.
Loneliness or Pain. At least pain made her feel alive. It was the only way she could feel. Her emotions had turned numb and cold. No longer was there fire in her heart; it was dark and as hard as obsidian.
Misery became her best friend. Everyday she paid homage, wallowing in her tears. There could only be one more sacrifice.
She was so tired of having no control in her life. Tired of the constant spinning of events. Trying to grab hold of something, anything. But all of it slipping through her fingers like sand. A tidal wave of blood and pain carrying her in, beating her again and again on the shore. Only to be swept away again by the sea to be used some more.
In all reality nothing had changed. Back at the Garden things had fallen away from her too. Her entire life had been one big spiral down into an abyss.
Her child.
A daughter, they had told her. She couldn't have known. She bled so much; it was easy to miss her regular cycle. Even if she had known that probably wouldn't have stopped him. He was an animal, uncaring and unfeeling. Her baby girl miscarried, killed by the fists of her husband. Killed by the man she thought she loved.
She was married to the murderer of her only child.
Tears mingled with rain. The streamed down her pale cheeks, hugging the curve to touch her lips. The fabric of her red dress clung to her, as she gasped for breath. It was heavy against her, much like the weight that lay on her heart. Like a giant block of ice. The world was so very cold.
She felt a hundred years old, growing older by the second. Her hands were shaking, right hand gripping the knife. The moon reflected in its' surface. It was full and high in the sky, illuminating the dark house behind her.
She brought the knife to her wrist and drew it slowly across. The familiar feel of pain flooded through her body. They were friends now, she no longer feared it. She embraced it like a lover, and accepted it. Blood dripped down her arm. A smear of red that reminded her of all the times he had beaten her.
Blood on the sheets, on the bathroom floor. Blood on her, blood on him. Always her blood, coating everything. A slayer of her blood tainting the entire world red. Their home a twisted mansion of agony. Suffering was all she knew, but now there would be no more.
Everyone's eyes, always asking questions. No one ever saying anything to anyone. For so long she had wished for a hero, someone to save her.
Castle had gotten away with abuse, rape, and murder. But no longer would Castle have control over her life. She yelped a sob of pain, a strange sound against the smile lighting her face. Blood mixing in the rain.
In the eternal sleep of death, she would find no pain. No more harshness, only soft dreams.
This was her escape.
Reaching her arms out toward the night sky. She imagined she was a bird. Quistis had always had been jealous of the birds for their freedom. Now at last she had opened to door of her cage. Flying amongst the stars, reaching out the touch their shinning color. She was a nightingale, this was her song.
The ground rushed up to meet her, the world a whirl of color. Clarity hit her suddenly as she heard the familiar sound of a gunblade.
"Seifer" she whispered into the rain.
It was he, her golden haired angel. Seifer Almasy, the man who claimed to love her. The first man she believed that did love her with every ounce of his being.
She pushed herself to her feet, swaying a bit. There was so much pain, but maybe in this life there was something more. Maybe there was something worth living for.
Love.
How could she leave him behind?
She loved him.
The thought thundered through her. It was invigorating, made her feel alive. It was the first emotion she had felt since the first time Castle had laid a hand on her. It was power, it was joy. It was all she needed to stay alive.
She would live for him. For him for her, and for their love.
Quistis Billings died in the rain that night. Quistis Trepe reborn spawned of her own blood.
With blood dripping down her arms she rushed towards the house. Her red dress tangled around her feet almost tripping her. A few feet from the door she stopped staring down at the red material that encased her body.
If love was a red dress, hers was made with blood.
And so Quistis Trepe went inside to save the man she loved.
(¯`'·.¸(¯`'·. Chapter 6 Excerpt .·'´¯)¸.·'´¯)
(¯`'·. Escape .·'´¯)
She stood in the rain, letting the water splash on her skin. It drove against her skin, turning it pale and clammy. She was so very cold, her teeth chattering. Her body was shaking. But she could hardly feel that cold; finally Quistis had found an escape.
It was a kitchen knife. It was simple and shiny with a black wooden handle. One she had used many times to make dinner for her and her husband.
A dinning room table she had sat at many times, imaging a family. A home, a life with a man she loved. A man who loved her back. One that didn't see her as simply a toy to be used and tossed aside. A real man, not the man she had married.
This was a decision she could never take back.
To marry him had locked her forever in a gilded cage. A cage with only one key, the tides had turned. At first Castle had been an escape, now she needed an escape from him.
Quistis wasn't sure if she ever loved him, really. How could she love someone who hurt her so much? How could she love someone who had made her long for the pain? It was the pain that drowned out the numbing sensation in her heart. Still she wanted to make him happy, even though their entire marriage had been a fraud.
Always trying to make him happy. Running around on broken glass picking up after him. Lying for him, doing anything he wanted. All she wanted was to be happy.
She was tired of making excuses for him. Tired of blaming it all on herself. Seifer had shown her that she could be free. Through him she had found her escape, she only hoped that he wouldn't be too angry.
After tonight Castle would never hurt her again.
After Ultimicia she was never the same. Time Compression had changed them all, drawing her further into her loneliness. She had lost herself in the swirling colors and the glass bubbles. Who was she anyway? A SeeD for hire? Or simply a lost golden haired girl screaming for help. She no longer knew herself, no longer knew what kind of soul lay inside her.
She was so different from all of them. No one ever saw, no one ever noticed. Constantly alone in a room full of people. No one ever wanted to listen, no one ever seemed to want to help. She cried out to them, calling to someone to come rescue her. Clutching on to her last shred of self-being she agreed to marry Castle.
Seifer had asked why she married him. The answer made sense to her; she wanted to feel desired. After Squall had turned her down, she felt like she was drifting lost at sea. Castle was a life raft, one that would take her away from the Garden. The bad memories and the friends that had seemed to abandon her when she needed them the most.
Away from the greed that was corrupting the youth. Garden was all about money, Cid selling their services to the highest bidder. It made Quistis felt like a common whore.
So instead she gave her love, and her life to Castle Billings. Only to lose herself even more.
Loneliness or Pain. At least pain made her feel alive. It was the only way she could feel. Her emotions had turned numb and cold. No longer was there fire in her heart; it was dark and as hard as obsidian.
Misery became her best friend. Everyday she paid homage, wallowing in her tears. There could only be one more sacrifice.
She was so tired of having no control in her life. Tired of the constant spinning of events. Trying to grab hold of something, anything. But all of it slipping through her fingers like sand. A tidal wave of blood and pain carrying her in, beating her again and again on the shore. Only to be swept away again by the sea to be used some more.
In all reality nothing had changed. Back at the Garden things had fallen away from her too. Her entire life had been one big spiral down into an abyss.
Her child.
A daughter, they had told her. She couldn't have known. She bled so much; it was easy to miss her regular cycle. Even if she had known that probably wouldn't have stopped him. He was an animal, uncaring and unfeeling. Her baby girl miscarried, killed by the fists of her husband. Killed by the man she thought she loved.
She was married to the murderer of her only child.
Tears mingled with rain. The streamed down her pale cheeks, hugging the curve to touch her lips. The fabric of her red dress clung to her, as she gasped for breath. It was heavy against her, much like the weight that lay on her heart. Like a giant block of ice. The world was so very cold.
She felt a hundred years old, growing older by the second. Her hands were shaking, right hand gripping the knife. The moon reflected in its' surface. It was full and high in the sky, illuminating the dark house behind her.
She brought the knife to her wrist and drew it slowly across. The familiar feel of pain flooded through her body. They were friends now, she no longer feared it. She embraced it like a lover, and accepted it. Blood dripped down her arm. A smear of red that reminded her of all the times he had beaten her.
Blood on the sheets, on the bathroom floor. Blood on her, blood on him. Always her blood, coating everything. A slayer of her blood tainting the entire world red. Their home a twisted mansion of agony. Suffering was all she knew, but now there would be no more.
Everyone's eyes, always asking questions. No one ever saying anything to anyone. For so long she had wished for a hero, someone to save her.
Castle had gotten away with abuse, rape, and murder. But no longer would Castle have control over her life. She yelped a sob of pain, a strange sound against the smile lighting her face. Blood mixing in the rain.
In the eternal sleep of death, she would find no pain. No more harshness, only soft dreams.
This was her escape.
Reaching her arms out toward the night sky. She imagined she was a bird. Quistis had always had been jealous of the birds for their freedom. Now at last she had opened to door of her cage. Flying amongst the stars, reaching out the touch their shinning color. She was a nightingale, this was her song.
The ground rushed up to meet her, the world a whirl of color. Clarity hit her suddenly as she heard the familiar sound of a gunblade.
"Seifer" she whispered into the rain.
It was he, her golden haired angel. Seifer Almasy, the man who claimed to love her. The first man she believed that did love her with every ounce of his being.
She pushed herself to her feet, swaying a bit. There was so much pain, but maybe in this life there was something more. Maybe there was something worth living for.
Love.
How could she leave him behind?
She loved him.
The thought thundered through her. It was invigorating, made her feel alive. It was the first emotion she had felt since the first time Castle had laid a hand on her. It was power, it was joy. It was all she needed to stay alive.
She would live for him. For him for her, and for their love.
Quistis Billings died in the rain that night. Quistis Trepe reborn spawned of her own blood.
With blood dripping down her arms she rushed towards the house. Her red dress tangled around her feet almost tripping her. A few feet from the door she stopped staring down at the red material that encased her body.
If love was a red dress, hers was made with blood.
And so Quistis Trepe went inside to save the man she loved.