Disclaimer: I don't own Star Wars, or any of the characters that are in the movies, books, etc. My character- Celestial- is mine though
In the Mind of a Sith
Supreme Chancellor Palpatine was on a vacation from his duties at the Senate. Palpatine wasn't very happy about this whole thing. Never had he taken a vacation, never, and he wasn't going to start now, but Senator Amidala- that good for nothing girl- had insisted. And she was just as stubborn as he was. She had even offered one of the enchanting villas on Naboo as a destination. After many heated debates- more arguments actually- the Supreme Chancellor took the "offer" of Senator Amidala- it was more an order, not an official one of course.
Palpatine couldn't help but let his thoughts turn to his fallen apprentice, Darth Maul. Darth Maul had been killed here. He had trained him from when Maul had been five. The apprentice had been like a son to him. And he had died here at the hand of that blasted Jedi apprentice- Knight now- Obi-wan Kenobi.
Palpatine shook his head to rid him of his thoughts as he paced the verandah of the villa. Yes, he was pacing. A vacation was not what made him relax. And this blasted Naboo scenery! Too much green!
The Supreme Chancellor stopped his pacing at the stone railing of the balcony. He looked out over the pristine blue lake letting himself absorb every detail. The water lapping at the island a little distance away, the waves foaming ever so slightly at the crest, and the fish swimming just under the crystal clear surface. So simple, everything had a simplicity here that never was in the Senate or in his duties. Everything was pleasant, not like the thoughts that racked his brain every moment, the "If only..." questions.
If only Darth Maul had been taken as his apprentice earlier...
If only Obi-wan had had a different Master...
If only there had been one Jedi...
If only Amidala hadn't have been so stubborn...
If only that fool Nute Gunray had been able to handle the situation...
If only...If only...
If only he had intervened sooner...
Palpatine shook his head again, harder this time. Where did these thoughts come from? Not after all these years, from his apprenticeship to become a Sith lord and through training his own apprentice, was his conscience awaking. No, he was the Sith lord, Darth Sidious. Having a conscience was out of the question. Yet, that scared him. Deep down, not having a conscience scared him.
If he was evil, what was good?
If he was doing the right thing, what was evil?
What was anything?
Blast Vacations! This was why he hated them. You thought too much for your own good! What in the universe was he here for! Oh yes, the wonderfully naive Senator Amidala. She had "insisted."
Palpatine let out a nearly audible growl. This was ridiculous. Yet, as ridiculous as it seemed to his Sith logic, it didn't seem at all unreasonable to his human emotions. No matter the power her possessed, he was still human, capable of feeling pain, hurt, love. The key was controlling your emotions- contorting them for your own purposes- not letting them control you. He had loved Darth Maul, like a son, but he was dead now- time to move on.
Yes, time to move on...Or was it really time?
Circular reasoning took hold in Palpatine's mind. One thought led to another and then that thought led back to the last one. A headache was starting to emerge.
Palpatine backed away from the railing and sat down on one of the stone benches that existed everywhere in the villa. The shadows had grown longer, and the clear, blue water became darker. The little fish that had been swimming below the small waves had retreated to their resting-places. Stars started to enter the sky, doing a celestial dance for those who would take the time to look at them. Palpatine looked at them.
He was reminded of a girl. She had shown so much promise- way too much promise. He was reminded that the Jedi Council had given this girl- lady- the title of 'Master' when she was only eighteen, or was it seventeen. Palpatine had tried to bring her into his world of darkness, but she had refused, and after watching her, he realized she was too bright to be tamed by the dark. She had seen right through his façade when he became Supreme Chancellor. She accused him of indirectly causing the death of Master Qui-gon Jinn. She had seen the Sith when the Jedi Council could not. She had been right. Cassona knew.
She had seen right through his façade. He still couldn't believe it. She had said so many true things right to his face. She called him
A Liar,
A Fake,
A Hypocrite,
And Untrue- even to himself. What shocked him the most was that...she was right. She had him all figured out, even when he didn't. She trusted truth, while he trusted lies. She brought light when it was wanted. He covered anything in darkness when he wanted to.
However, he was a Sith lord, and he couldn't turn his back on that now.
No, never.
He was who he was.
End of Story.