Hey guys!!!! (And girls!) I have finally convinced my brother to continue with the story! Woopee!!!!! Anyway...

Chapter 6: Waddling in mud


Effie and Xavia walked uneasily in the Canyon of the Magi.

"Do you think this is this the tomb?" Effie asked Xavia.

"It looks to me like there are seven tombs." Xavia began.

"We could explore them all." Effie added.

"What? And get killed?" Xavia answered. "I seem to remember engravings on the wall while fighting the Summoner." She continued. "Now that I think about it, the engravings match the engravings on these tombs. The one in the middle was larger, so using common magical sense, that's the one we should go to."

"Are you sure? Weren't some of the engravings different colors and one was smaller?"

"You're just trying to confuse me! They were all blue."

"Eh heh heh heh. You're right. I didn't really see any markings." Effie said sheepishly.

"How did we get here anyway?"

"Uh... walking."

"Uh... oh yeah. So let's go into the tomb with the larger symbol now. Eh heh heh."

So they walked in to the tomb and they fought a bunch of monsters. And some were special and some were hard.

"These monsters are too easy!" Xavia said throwing ice bolts and fire bolts and lightning bolts.

They came to a room with a ton of mummy's and a bunch of embalming vases. Effie walked onto the floor and heard a creaking noise.

"What was that?" She asked nervously.

"Jump!" Xavia yelled.

Effie jumped as spikes came up from the ground.

"Uh, thank you. I was almost impaled." Then she heard another creaking sound. In the meantime, all the mummies were just standing there.

"Uh... Do you guys want to fight us now?" Effie said walking off the rigged floor.

Just then an Earthquake shook the tomb and walls and ceilings and floors fell and rose and shifted. And out appeared a huge, giant, extremely large, and opposite of small mummy mage.

Uh oh... Xavia said.

"Don't worry," Effie said. She then split into two beings. "Effie #2 ATTACK!!!"

"HOW ARE THERE TWO OF YOU???" Xavia yelled her eyes bulging out.

"It's my special skill. Heh heh."

She then threw a bunch of 'devices' at the smaller mummies and the devices spouted waves of searing flames. When all the mummies (except the sumo one) were fried, the devices sent little purple fluids into the dead mummies. The dead mummies promptly exploded and sent the sumo mummy flying backwards. Effie then ran up to him stabbed him 3 times, which coincidentally made 3 ethereal balls float around her. Then the three ethereal balls all traveled to her leg. Her leg also was burning, electrocuting, and freezing. (But for some reason, this caused her no pain.) She then kicked the sumo mummy with all her mysterious powers and it died and went flying through the wall.

"I wonder what's in these pots?" Xavia asked after watching Effie beat everyone up.

Xavia then proceeded to kick one of the pots. Immediately, a creaking sound was heard and green gas fumed around her. She coughed and wheezed and gasped. She said in a horse voice, "Maybe we shouldn't kick anymore vases open."

But Effie wasn't there. Then she suddenly appeared next to the pot holding a bunch of gold in her hand. "Heee heee heee heee. There was gold in that vase and now it's ALL MINE!!!! Hah hah hah!" Xavia then turned over all the pots, but any contents found only consisted of a few dead rats and some embalming fluid.

Then, Xavia discovered a room, which had been exposed by the Sumo mummy's body, (which Effie had kicked into the wall.)

"Hey look! A room!" Xavia announced.

"And look!" Effie said. "There's a strange... pedestal here."

Xavia answered, "Well look. There is a hole in the pedestal."

Xavia, using her magical "assumptions," put the Horadric staff into the pedestal. The pedestal opened up and a little tube popped up. Light from the ceiling collected into the tube and then lightning shot out from the pedestal into another wall destroying it. Magical Runes appeared above the hole in the wall, which they couldn't decipher.

"Looks like we have to go back and get the boys. Maybe Adrian can read what it says." Effie said. Effie and Xavia went in a town portal to get Fury and Adrian.

~*~

Meanwhile, Adrian and Fury were back in their room in town playing in the mud.

Fury looked down sadly, "Ever since I lost that amulet, I've forgotten how to make a clay golem."

Adrian looked happily at his ten clay soldiers who were fashioned a lot like snow men. "A true Necromancer would never forget his skills." Adrian said proudly.

"Can you remember any one of the hundreds of taunts we Barbarians use?" Fury challenged.

"Um..." Adrian said thinking. The words had simply popped into his mind when he had been wearing the boots. Luckily he had remembered to write one of them down. He "peeked" at his cheat sheet and recited it...

"Nikim Shikim."

With that, Fury burst out laughing! "You call that a taunt! HAH HAH HAH!!! You said it all wrong!" He said slapping his knee causing some mud to splatter onto Adrian. "It's pronounced Neekii Shneekee."

With that Adrian felt his anger rising at the taunt and a whole bunch of curses came to his head. He was about to "curse" Fury when he smiled slyly. "Oh yeah!" He challenged. "I bet you can't remember any of the curses of a Necromancer."

Fury thought for a moment and realized that the knowledge he had simply known earlier had just as simply gone out of his head. Luckily he had written one down. He had tattooed it in a place no one would ever look. "I'll be right back." Fury said and stepped out of the room. He came back after reading his tattoo with a little difficulty but still felt quite sure of himself. Adrian looked at him skeptically wondering what the Barbarian was up to.

He uttered a curse, which caused Adrian to go blind. (Only for a few seconds though.) Adrian rushed up to Fury angrily. "How do you know that curse?!?!?!!?" He wanted to know.

Fury smiled proudly. "I had it tattooed on me." He explained roughly. Adrian looked at Fury and realized that the Barbarian was wearing nothing, but a loincloth.

"Where did you tattoo it?" He dared to ask.

"You don't want to know." Fury said mysteriously.

Adrian's eyes widened, but just then the door busted opened and Effie and Xavia barged in to see the two men waddling in a puddle of mud in the middle of their room!

"Huh?" Xavia's eyes widened.

"WHAT ARE YOU DOING!?!?!?!" Effie demanded.

The men looked up sheepishly. Fury was wearing nothing but a loincloth and Adrian was wearing bone pants and a rat leather vest. But Effie ignored their attire and only noticed the puddle of mud in the middle of their room.

"How did MUD get in here!?!?!?" She demanded.

"Um... we were just making clay golems." Adrian spoke. "Well, I was making them mostly. Fury's forgotten how. Do you like my clay army, Xavia?" He asked the startled sorceress. She didn't answer.

"Have you two been drinking again?" Effie wondered.

Adrian tried to smell his breath. "Have we?"

Effie sighed in frustration. "GET CLEANED UP RIGHT NOW!!!" She yelled sounding like a scolding mother. "We've got stuff to kill!" She added darkly.

And she marched off angrily. Xavia hid a smile. "Perhaps I could help you guys clean up." She said a little too mischievously.

"You will?" Adrian said hopeful, missing the mischievous tone in her voice. Fury looked at her, his eyes suspicious. Xavia raised her staff in the air and immediately a cloud appeared above the two men and their mud puddle. Adrian looked upward. "Uh oh." He said.

A blizzard rained down upon them. They shivered, but it immediately turned into water as Xavia shot fire bolts up into the cloud. After the storm, Fury and Adrian were no longer muddy, but a lot wetter. They turned to the spot Xavia had been standing but she was no longer there. Instead she was walking down the hall stifling her laughs.

Fury wrung out the bottom of his loincloth, while Adrian just stood there watching the place Xavia had just been. "That was cool." He muttered. A grunt from Fury was his only reply. After they cleaned everything, they left the room cleaner, but just a little wetter than before. Everyone met outside ready for battle.

"There are some mystic runes written on the wall and we were wondering if you could read what they say, Necromancer." Xavia was saying. Adrian simply nodded importantly.

Fury was holding too many weapons. He had javelins, a sword (or two), some throwing potions, a rusty dagger, a bow and arrows, an extra sash, a spear, and extra helmet, Wirt's leg, a skeleton bone (stolen from Adrian's collection-it was a really jagged one.), and a health potion... for just in case.

"Hey Fury!" Effie mentioned handing him a helmet. "I think only Barbarians can wear this. I found it in the tomb." She continued. He took it and clumsily dropped it... on Adrian's foot.

"OUCH!" Adrian groaned and hopped on one foot.

"I thought you were wearing bone boots." Xavia wondered.

"Oh yeah." Adrian said sheepishly. "And they are enchanted too." He said smiling.

"Why did you drop it in the first place?" Effie wondered.

Fury blushed, "I am over burdened." He mentioned.

Effie convinced Fury to try and sell some of his stuff. He went over to Fara and only managed to part with his extra helmet since Effie had already given him one to replace it. Adrian meanwhile was explaining the magical properties of his bone boots to an uninterested Xavia, and Effie was practicing phasing in and out of the shadows.

Finally they were ready to go to the tomb of Tal Rasha...

~*~

They went to the tomb of Tal Rasha. Killed Duriel. The end.

(Just kidding.)



"Come on Fury!" Adrian said. Fury said, "Ok," and waddled into the next room.

"These are the runes you are talking about?" Adrian said. He looked at the runes, frowning, and said, "It's really hard to decipher this complicated old language. It says something like 'Giant bug on a rug.'"

Effie said, "What? That has nothing to do with Tal Rasha! Look at it again, Adrian."

Adrian looked at it again and after a moment said, "In... the... next room... lies your... doom."

"What? That has nothing to do with bugs and rugs. How can you get something that different from the same runes?" Effie said.

"Look at it one more time!" She shrieked.

After another moment he said, "W+hat? Now it says something else. It says, 'The... Necromancer... is an... idiot... Get somebody else... to read me.'" He scratched his head. "What Necromancer? Was Tal Rasha a Necromancer?"

Then the runes changed and Xavia gasped. "That's the writing of the Zann Esu!"

"Well what's it say!" Fury yelled.

It says "Tal Rasha was not a Necromancer and inside he lies with Baal's soul stone in his head."

"Then let's go!" Effie commanded.

"Is that a dead rat?" Adrian wondered and when no one was looking stuffed it into his pocket.

As they walked into the hole Fury noticed their surroundings. "That's a lot of rubble. I don't even want to know what you guys did."

Then they heard a huge growl. They went to see what it was and what did they see?

A giant bug... on a rug.

But then it turned out that the rug was thousands and thousands of baby maggots. Adrian pulled out a musty, dusty, old, smelly book and started looking at the inscriptions.

"Ah hah! Just as I thought! That's Duriel, Andariel's partner in evil." Then Duriel jumped up and charged at them. He knocked over Xavia and she started shivering uncontrollably.

"His.... c...c...claws.... m... m... make... you... cold." She stated between shivers. Then Fury started hitting Duriel with all his weapons. Effie split into two beings and they both hit at the bug with all their weapons. Adrian stood back and shot projectiles at it, cursing.

Five seconds later Fury yelled, "Retreat! We are out of health potions!" (Since he had used his last and only potion.)

Adrian yelled, "There is no where to go! The entrance is blocked off!"

Xavia switched places with Fury using her teleportation spell and started shooting ice bolts at the huge bug.

Effie yelled, "We gotta think of something fast or we are about to die!"

Fury began throwing spears at Duriel from afar. But most of them bounced off harmlessly.

Adrian suddenly had an idea so bright that it added +1 to his light radius. He opened a town portal and yelled, "Here comes the infantry!" The town portal shimmered and out walked ten clay golems who immediately began to pound Duriel. Duriel grunted and all of the ten golems, collapsed. Just then there was an explosion was so big that the people in Lut Gholein could hear it and Duriel's guts flew all around the four heroes.

Fury wiping guts off of his face said, "Uh... what happened Adrian?"

Adrian said, "Heh heh heh. I have put explosives in my clay golems."

"That's a good idea." Effie thought to herself not wanting Adrian to know. Instead she yelled, "THIS IS THE SECOND TIME I'VE BEEN COVERED IN GUTS!!!"

They walked into the next chamber and say a strange being with tentacles on his back, tied to a couple of pillars.

"Oh hey Tyreal." Adrian said.

"That's Tryeal?" Effie asked.

The being said, "Good job heroes. You have killed Duriel and come to save me."

"We have?" Effie wondered. "We didn't come here to save you. We came here to stop Diablo."

"Unfortunately, Diablo has freed Baal and they have both gone to free the last Prime evil, Mephisto."

"So if you untie me I could... um... help you."

So they all cut off his bonds and he put a tentacle on each of their foreheads. Immediately the bug guts disappeared and they witnessed inside their heads how Diablo had come and freed Baal.

"Who's that scrawny guy?" Adrian wondered.

"That is Diablo's follower. I have no idea why he follows him, but Diablo seems to put up with him. And now I shall send you back to Lut Gholein."

And he did so.

A guy came up to them and said, "I just had a strange dream that I should take you to Kurast so get into the boat before I change my mind."

And they did so.

~*~

YEAH!!! That was fun! I know it was a little slow in the beginning, but I hope you don't mind. ^_^ So as always review and we will be happy...

~RedLady


I'm writing fanfiction again. Heh heh. Hope you enjoy.

~Adro13 ^ )