When Cole met Angel
Cole was walking along a dark alley, rather bored with himself. He told Phoebe that he was going to find himself, but really, he simply needed to stay away for a while. Her reproaches were becoming increasingly difficult to take. In truth, he could sense that things were not as they should have been. He tried so hard to be good, and yet, ended up doing the wrong thing. Even now, Cole had pain distinguishing where he had gone wrong. That Ed Miller guy wouldn't have been content to just blackmail them. Eventually, he would have talked and not in a good way. Granted, Cole's reaction had been a little over the top. "Alright," he admitted to himself, "that was rather like Reagan in Grenada…"
What the hell was he gonna do now? Before he could even begin to answer this question, he heard a loud scream, and then another. This only preceded the crash of two fighting men ending up in a pile of trash by a few seconds. Cole thought the scene looked really familiar and couldn't help a self-mocking smile at this. "Those were the days," he mused as he observed the fight with a certain detachment. One of the fighters looked human as far as he could tell, but the other one was definitely a lower demon. This, along with the fire falling from the sky he saw earlier, made him wonder if he had come into a world on the brink of Armageddon. "That would really be the place for me," Cole uttered aloud dejectedly.
The human was grunting as the demon grabbed his throat and lifted him in the air as if he weighed nothing. Cole was tempted to simply vaporize the demon on the spot, but he thought he should ask first. After all, his last termination had proven to be a mistake. Who knew what the rules were in this world?
"Need a hand man?" He called to the human. This one surprised Cole by managing to escape his opponent's grasp.
"Stay away," the human exclaimed just before the demon came back at him head first and knocked him on his butt.
"No really," Cole offered again, "if you need my help, just ask…" This he said with a cocky smile that the human missed as he was now facing the ground, tackled by the demon.
"If you think you can do better," the human grumbled between clenched teeth.
"As a matter of fact," Cole said casually. Then he lifted his hand lazily and sent an energy ball toward the demon. As the human stood up and stared at the smoking remains of the demon, he didn't look nearly as surprised as Cole might have expected.
"Hey, thanks," the man said as he cautiously turned toward Cole. "Cool powers…" he uttered just as uncertainly.
"The name is Cole and don't worry, I won't use them against you…"
"Angel here… and glad to hear that."
The two shook hands awkwardly, as Angel observed Cole curiously. "I've never seen you around…"
"I'm new in these parts," Cole uttered calmly. "I was just searching for a peaceful place but looks like I stumbled to the wrong world."
Angel's scrutiny intensified at this reference to "the wrong world". Not that it surprised him all that much either. After all, by now he had seen his share of other dimensions. However, nothing good had come of them so far except Lorn; and he truly was an exception.
"So…you fight demons," Angel ventured.
"Not exactly," Cole answered cryptically. "I'm not too sure what I do anymore…"
"Crisis of identity?" Angel asked then. He remembered too well his own tribulations.
"You could say that. Say, you look like a guy with an open mind. Are all humans so knowledgeable of the supernatural around here?"
"Not exactly…" Angel simply replied without giving anything away. "If you're not fighting demons…which side would you tend to be on? Pardon me for asking but nowadays, it's hard to tell…"
"Don't I know it. I'll tell you what…I'm not even sure myself. Twice before, I thought I knew where my path laid, and twice over, I ended up taking a detour. This time, I believe it's a dead end…" Cole couldn't help another self-mocking smirk at his own choice of words. The smile vanished quickly as he remembered all that it implied for him and his future. Nothing good, he was certain of it.
"You sound a little down," Angel added when he noticed Cole's forlorn expression. "Why don't I offer you a drink?"
"Do you always offer drinks to people you know nothing about?"
"Well, not all of them, but one who saved my butt, yeah."
"Hey, why not? I've got nothing better to do." Cole replied with a vague smile.
"Follow me then."
As they entered a bar on the next street corner, Angel caught himself regretting the Host's lounge. He had to admit that it used to be a good place. Too bad he caused its destruction.
Angel grimaced as he took a seat and Cole noticed. "Something the matter?
"Nah, just old memories; nothing to concern you… So, what got you so down on yourself?"
"No offence Angel, but really… you seem to have bigger fishes to fry than my personal problems."
"All the more reason... I could use a good story. I've had a few tough breaks lately and I don't care too much for introspection."
"I don't think hearing of my problems will help…" Cole trailed. Then, after a few second, he pursued, "Although, I must say that it could actually be a good idea for me too. Let's make a deal. I'll tell you of my problems if you do the same afterward…Could give me some perspective, who knows?"
Angel hesitated and took the time to order the drinks before giving Cole his answer. He had been on a quest to become more human for years, although with a lot of hurdles along the way. However, it was one thing to share a little with friends; it was a whole another thing to tell his problems to a guy he just met. Still, if that guy was willing to distract him with his own story, why couldn't he? After all, who else was he gonna tell how angry he was with Cordy and his son?
"It's a deal…Does it involve a girl?"
"Doesn't it always?" Cole questioned with a hint of bitterness.
Angel only nodded knowingly and he waited for Cole to begin.
~~~~~~~~~
"Ouch!" Angel exclaimed when Cole was done telling him his story. "Well man, I think that you might've good reasons to be down…"
"Hey, is that the way to make me feel better?"
"Well, you did have a good couple of years…I wish I had as much with Buffy…"
"Buffy?"
"She's mostly in my past but let's just say we didn't have as much "fun" as you did."
"I guess that in hindsight, there was some fun there," Cole answered with a vague smile. "But what was the problem with Buffy? A prude?"
"Not really…maybe she was a little young for one."
"No offence Angel, but you don't exactly look old to me."
"Appearances are deceiving… same as for you. I didn't tell you what I am, did I?"
"No…I'm all ears… Now I really could use this perspective I told you about," Cole replied with a mix of depression about his own problems and curiosity about Angel's revelation.
"Alright…here goes," Angel said after taking a long sip of his own drink.
~~~~~~~~~
"With your son?" Cole exclaimed incredulously. "Now that one takes the cake! Forgive me but I believe this Cordy is even flakier than Phoebe."
"Hey!" Angel retorted with a hint of outrage. However, as he was about to try defending Cordy, Angel realized that right then, he found very little justification for her betrayal.
"Sorry," Cole still said half-heartedly. "Maybe it hit a little too close to home…" he trailed, thinking of Phoebe's new dating habits.
"We make quite the pair," Angel uttered cynically. "But really, I've got to admit that Cordy didn't promise me anything unlike your girl…"
Cole looked up with a slight outrage of his own at this insinuation but just like Angel, he found very few attenuating circumstances to justify Phoebe's attitude.
"I'm sorry too," Angel offered solicitously. "I guess I'm bitterer than I thought if I try to compare the two. I mean the two situations are different…"
"Not so much…" Cole said flatly. "I guess having pasts as we do isn't any help in finding happiness…"
"Yeah, but they both knew that while promising us eternal love now didn't they?"
"Yeah," Cole trailed unhappily. "Are we too clingy?" He questioned rhetorically.
"Clingy?" Angel replied hesitantly.
"Well…I don't know, sometimes, I feel as if I shouldn't bother to try with Phoebe…it's just…Hell, she married me!" He suddenly exclaimed. "She fucking promised me that she'd love me forever and then after killing me, she used that as an excuse to dump me when I came back."
"Bitter much?"
"How about you?"
"Well yeah… Going to the higher plane just to come back with the worst self-righteous attitude…And when I think of how Cordy started out…"
"How is that?"
"Oh…"Angel hesitated. "Well, when I met her, she wasn't exactly a paragon of virtue either. I guess I should've taken heed from that."
"She's a reformed one herself?"
"Just a spoiled kid who grew up…" Angel trailed, while thinking of how sweet Cordy became. How he wished that he could benefit from that sweetness just then. Instead, all he could see in his mind was the spectacle of Connor and her making passionate love even as the world was going to hell literally; and figuratively for him. "You know, I feel rather lousy right now…"
"Well, you've got good reasons too…"
"I don't mean about Cordy exactly…I'm here sulking about lost love while the world is about to crash and burn. Yet, I can't seem to care at all… At least, you got to help your girl killing the big bad…"
"Sometimes I wonder what it was all for…all these sacrifices; all this pain… and I've got nothing to show for it but more pain and disappointment…"
"Death's a bitch!"
"Life's even worse!"
Angel couldn't help a sudden giggle at this idea. Both of them had known death intimately and it indeed wasn't exactly a picnic. However in the face of their present situations, Cole and he could appreciate the irony that life was.
A little voice whispered in Cole's mind at this moment. "You're evil Cole… Don't even try to deny it. He's no better. How can either one of you hope to be worthy of love?" Cole shook his head, wondering where the hell this came from. "That's not true," he exclaimed angrily, startling Angel.
"About life?"
"Oh sorry, man…I guess I'm losing my mind," Cole uttered bitterly as he looked about anxiously, still trying to find out who was talking to him.
"Don't worry, you're not alone," Angel offered solicitously. "Half the time, I don't know where mine is. I mean after spending months in that coffin under water it's a bloody miracle I can still think straight…"
"I hear you," Cole replied, setting his malaise aside. "Well, it's been fun, but I guess you've got better things to do than listening to a whiny former demon…"
"I guess I should go back to the saving the world business," Angel replied half-heartedly. "You wouldn't care to give me a hand?"
"I…" Cole stopped as the little voice repeated the awful warning in his mind… He tried very hard to ignore it but the voice echoed his own fears to much for that. "In my present state of mind," he pursued sincerely for Angel, "I'm not even sure which way I would turn. I think it's best if I stayed away…"
"I guess," Angel trailed, even if he was slightly disappointed. Powers like Cole's could have come handy. However, he recognized that his companion had his own problems to deal with and that he had no right to ask for anything. "Then I suppose I really should get back to work. I just don't know where to start…"
"Don't look at me…I used to know exactly what I had to do under most circumstances. Now, even the slightest decision is painful to make. But somehow I'm convinced you'll get through this…"
"What about you?" Angel questioned.
"Don't worry about me…Whatever else comes my way; it won't really be worse than losing Phoebe."
Angel only nodded with a very serious expression before standing up, soon followed by Cole. "I wish I could've been more helpful…" Angel extended his hand toward Cole.
"Same here," Cole replied while taking the offered hand. "But really, it felt good to talk to someone who didn't judge me."
Angel smiled weakly. "I feel the same…"
Cole sighed as he shimmered back to his own dimension; oblivious to whomever might have been watching at the time.
Angel stared at the spot Cole vacated, just as oblivious to any reaction by the bar's customers. He then exhaled a long sigh of his own, as he found himself back to square one with his problems. Outside the bar, he could see more fire falling from the sky and knew that it was time for him to go back to business…