Chapter 5: Take a walk over to the county side . . .
Disclaimer: Like I said, I don't own Harry Potter nor Conkers bad fur day. So don't sue me.
A/N: Chapter 5!!! Does this story seem to be getting better or what?. You guys should know what happened last time so you all are wondering what Jessie is going to do with the manual? And why the dung beetles would want to kick the gang's ass. Find out next. Oh yeah and I got my $125 back. * Shows everybody the bloody wooden baseball bat * It was hard to get back . . . but you can read the fic now.
(The strange world _ Jessie is reading the manual.)
Jessie: Oh! It's telling me what to do when we get into a pretty bad situation. * Takes out a slingshot. She shoots dung beetle 1 with a rock. He gets mad and comes to attack. She shoots again and he pops. She does the same thing to the next two dung beetles. A part of a giant oak tree has an entrance to enter that is now revealed. They go up a little path and stop between the path that was revealed and another path * Jessie: Hmm . . . that way * the one path * or that way? * The path in the tree. She sniffs the one path * That one smells a bit crappy. * Smells the other path * I think we should go through this one. * The gang agrees with Jessie and go through the path *
(Country/farming side _ The scenery is with a stone barn, two metal block guys jumping around, and yellowish water going half way around the barn. And the other half is mud. They go through the yellowish water and go to an area next to the barn. A big purplish block is on top of a metal block. A big brown mouse is running around and every 10 seconds it would stop to fart. Jessie accidentally sniffed the air and puked. The gang stepped back. They went to the metal block.)
Metal Block: I say, I say, there little feller's. Ya'll better get the fat- ass bitch off of my back pronto!
Jessie: Gee! So many people 'round here want us to solve their problems! What are you going to do for us then?
Metal Block: I'll tell you what I'm going to do, I say. I'll tell you what I'm going to do. You all get rid of that freaking mouse critter, and maybe I'll help you all. Oh, just one ore thing to say, just one more thing. You all might run into my run into my friend Burt, just mention my name, Jack. And everything will just be dandy. * They leave and go discuss about it *
Hermione: Well, who's going to go do it?
Jessie: I'll go do it.
Harry: Are you really sure Jessie? You look a bit tired.
Jessie: I'm not tired. I'll be all right.
Harry: I hope so. * Yawns * That's weird. Its daytime and I'm getting tired.
Ron: * Yawns * Me too.
Jessie: But I'll be back. * Jessie leaves and the gang sit down *
(Burt's little cheese raising place _ Jessie gets there yawning. She goes' and talks to Burt.)
Jessie: Hi, you must be Burt.
Burt: Yeah, I'm Burt.
Jessie: Jack sent me.
Burt: I'll open the gate for you here, and you can get on with what is it ever that you're trying to do. * Burt opens the gate. The little cheeses are jumping around. One of the cheeses notice Jessie and hops away *
Jessie: That's all you do? Great. * She goes inside and the chases a cheese. She hits one with the frying pan and picks it up. She takes the cheese to the mouse. The mouse eats it *
Mouse: * burps * That was nice! * Burps again * I'd like another one, though, if that's okay. * She goes back and hits another cheese and takes it to the mouse. The mouse farts * Marvelous! One more should just about do it! * She goes back yet again and hits a cheese. Takes it back to the mouse. He starts farting and burping while inflating like a balloon *
Jessie: * backing away * Uh-oh.
Mouse: Oh no, I think I had too much. AAAAAHHHHHH!!!! * He explodes. Pieces of the mouse go everywhere. The lady block comes off the metal block *
Metal block: Aahh! I couldn't last a moment longer. Thank you very much Ms. Squirrel. Now, theres something real neat inside that barn. You just got to get inside there sonny. * She goes to wake up the guys *
Jessie: C'mon you guys. Lets go you guys. * She yawned *
Ron: Can we please not go adventuring now?
Jessie: No you guys. I just wanted to get us a spot where it isn't so sunny.
Harry: She does have a point. * Harry said while shielding his eyes from the sun. They leave the countryside area and out the tree trunk. They all lay in front of the tree trunk *
Hermione: I wonder why the sun hasn't set yet?
Jessie: Well, in the video game "Conkers bad fur day" it isn't night until you have done a bunch of missions and stuff.
Harry: Oh well, I think its better to sleep in the shade in the daylight. * They all fall asleep *
(Nighttime _ A castle _ Voldermort is sitting at his throne impatiently waiting.)
Voldermort: My muggle servant better hurry. What are you looking at, muggle servants #2 & 3?
Muggle servant #2: Nothing sire.
Voldermort: Good . Aahh . I think I can hear him. * Muggle servant #1 is shouting eureka *
Muggle servant #1: Eureka! Eureka! I've found it! I've found it! Ja, Ja, eureka! Ah my lord . you'll never guess what? I zink I have found ze problems. * Voldermont listens * Now, ve have here, if you look . ze table and a plan to get Harry Potter. And if you analyze ze table closely . as I have done most particularly you will see zat zere is a gap! And ve're not talking any old gap here, my lord. It is a sizable one. Now, drink goes here, * points to the near edge of the table with the gap * vat happens? Ve have ze fulcrum here . ze drink here, * points to the part again * veight problem not good. Drink falls off because of a gap. Ja zat is vat is ze problem . ze gap!
Voldermont: Hmmm, I think I see . and the solution? * Muggle servants #2 and 3 fall asleep *
Muggle servant #1: Ah, now zis is where it gets complicated. I was mulling over vat would fit in ze gap . I tried many zings. I tried elephant's . pot plants . many zings. But ze one thing, I vas sure of it at ze time I vas sure it was a rodent . and sure enough it was. A . furrius squid geterrius, to use the proper vernacular. To ze lay man ze red squirrel. Zis red squirrel. * Pointing to the drawing of Jessie *
Voldermont: Hmm, yes . squirrel. I've seen that red squirrel outside earlier with Harry Potter. Yes . so?
Muggle servant #1: So it is simple, my liege . ve need the squirrel . and we put her here. * Pointing to the gap * You no spill your drink . ve don't get killed with magic.
Voldermont: Gentlemen . * Muggle servants # 2 and 3 wake up *
Muggle servant #2: Yes my liege?
Voldermont: Get me, that one . red squirrel!
Muggle servant #2: Yes my liege. * They leave *
Voldermont: Now Muggle servant #1. Tell me about this plan to capture Harry Potter. * They start talking about it as the camera fades away with silence *
(Strange world _ morning _ The gang wake up hungry.)
Harry: I'm starving.
Ron: We're going to die here, aren't we?
Hermione: We just can't give up on hope can we? * Jessie is looking over the land. *
Jessie: * Slaps her forehead * How stupid of me. Why didn't I see it before?
The three: What?
Jessie: Don't you see the chocolates floating above the ground? That's the food we can survive off of. * They start getting it and the three start running to the chocolates. Jessie walks over to the chocolates *
Caption: 1 hour later
(The strange world _ The gang are full. It looks like Harry had too much and gained about 10-20 pounds.)
Jessie: Jesus Christ, Harry! How many damn chocolates did you eat??? * She said with this expression on her face: O_o;; *
Harry: I don't know. Maybe about 10 or 15 of them. * The chocolates were big so that you will know *
Jessie: I don't know how the fuck you could eat that many but . I just don't know. * It is silent for about ten seconds and Jessie starts bursting out laughing *
Harry: Why you little! * Harry had a hard time getting up which made Jessie laugh harder. When he finally got up Jessie started running and laughing at Harry at the same time *
To be continued
A/N: Lol! Was this pretty funny or what? Well tell me in your reviews. Captain Author signing off. :P
Disclaimer: Like I said, I don't own Harry Potter nor Conkers bad fur day. So don't sue me.
A/N: Chapter 5!!! Does this story seem to be getting better or what?. You guys should know what happened last time so you all are wondering what Jessie is going to do with the manual? And why the dung beetles would want to kick the gang's ass. Find out next. Oh yeah and I got my $125 back. * Shows everybody the bloody wooden baseball bat * It was hard to get back . . . but you can read the fic now.
(The strange world _ Jessie is reading the manual.)
Jessie: Oh! It's telling me what to do when we get into a pretty bad situation. * Takes out a slingshot. She shoots dung beetle 1 with a rock. He gets mad and comes to attack. She shoots again and he pops. She does the same thing to the next two dung beetles. A part of a giant oak tree has an entrance to enter that is now revealed. They go up a little path and stop between the path that was revealed and another path * Jessie: Hmm . . . that way * the one path * or that way? * The path in the tree. She sniffs the one path * That one smells a bit crappy. * Smells the other path * I think we should go through this one. * The gang agrees with Jessie and go through the path *
(Country/farming side _ The scenery is with a stone barn, two metal block guys jumping around, and yellowish water going half way around the barn. And the other half is mud. They go through the yellowish water and go to an area next to the barn. A big purplish block is on top of a metal block. A big brown mouse is running around and every 10 seconds it would stop to fart. Jessie accidentally sniffed the air and puked. The gang stepped back. They went to the metal block.)
Metal Block: I say, I say, there little feller's. Ya'll better get the fat- ass bitch off of my back pronto!
Jessie: Gee! So many people 'round here want us to solve their problems! What are you going to do for us then?
Metal Block: I'll tell you what I'm going to do, I say. I'll tell you what I'm going to do. You all get rid of that freaking mouse critter, and maybe I'll help you all. Oh, just one ore thing to say, just one more thing. You all might run into my run into my friend Burt, just mention my name, Jack. And everything will just be dandy. * They leave and go discuss about it *
Hermione: Well, who's going to go do it?
Jessie: I'll go do it.
Harry: Are you really sure Jessie? You look a bit tired.
Jessie: I'm not tired. I'll be all right.
Harry: I hope so. * Yawns * That's weird. Its daytime and I'm getting tired.
Ron: * Yawns * Me too.
Jessie: But I'll be back. * Jessie leaves and the gang sit down *
(Burt's little cheese raising place _ Jessie gets there yawning. She goes' and talks to Burt.)
Jessie: Hi, you must be Burt.
Burt: Yeah, I'm Burt.
Jessie: Jack sent me.
Burt: I'll open the gate for you here, and you can get on with what is it ever that you're trying to do. * Burt opens the gate. The little cheeses are jumping around. One of the cheeses notice Jessie and hops away *
Jessie: That's all you do? Great. * She goes inside and the chases a cheese. She hits one with the frying pan and picks it up. She takes the cheese to the mouse. The mouse eats it *
Mouse: * burps * That was nice! * Burps again * I'd like another one, though, if that's okay. * She goes back and hits another cheese and takes it to the mouse. The mouse farts * Marvelous! One more should just about do it! * She goes back yet again and hits a cheese. Takes it back to the mouse. He starts farting and burping while inflating like a balloon *
Jessie: * backing away * Uh-oh.
Mouse: Oh no, I think I had too much. AAAAAHHHHHH!!!! * He explodes. Pieces of the mouse go everywhere. The lady block comes off the metal block *
Metal block: Aahh! I couldn't last a moment longer. Thank you very much Ms. Squirrel. Now, theres something real neat inside that barn. You just got to get inside there sonny. * She goes to wake up the guys *
Jessie: C'mon you guys. Lets go you guys. * She yawned *
Ron: Can we please not go adventuring now?
Jessie: No you guys. I just wanted to get us a spot where it isn't so sunny.
Harry: She does have a point. * Harry said while shielding his eyes from the sun. They leave the countryside area and out the tree trunk. They all lay in front of the tree trunk *
Hermione: I wonder why the sun hasn't set yet?
Jessie: Well, in the video game "Conkers bad fur day" it isn't night until you have done a bunch of missions and stuff.
Harry: Oh well, I think its better to sleep in the shade in the daylight. * They all fall asleep *
(Nighttime _ A castle _ Voldermort is sitting at his throne impatiently waiting.)
Voldermort: My muggle servant better hurry. What are you looking at, muggle servants #2 & 3?
Muggle servant #2: Nothing sire.
Voldermort: Good . Aahh . I think I can hear him. * Muggle servant #1 is shouting eureka *
Muggle servant #1: Eureka! Eureka! I've found it! I've found it! Ja, Ja, eureka! Ah my lord . you'll never guess what? I zink I have found ze problems. * Voldermont listens * Now, ve have here, if you look . ze table and a plan to get Harry Potter. And if you analyze ze table closely . as I have done most particularly you will see zat zere is a gap! And ve're not talking any old gap here, my lord. It is a sizable one. Now, drink goes here, * points to the near edge of the table with the gap * vat happens? Ve have ze fulcrum here . ze drink here, * points to the part again * veight problem not good. Drink falls off because of a gap. Ja zat is vat is ze problem . ze gap!
Voldermont: Hmmm, I think I see . and the solution? * Muggle servants #2 and 3 fall asleep *
Muggle servant #1: Ah, now zis is where it gets complicated. I was mulling over vat would fit in ze gap . I tried many zings. I tried elephant's . pot plants . many zings. But ze one thing, I vas sure of it at ze time I vas sure it was a rodent . and sure enough it was. A . furrius squid geterrius, to use the proper vernacular. To ze lay man ze red squirrel. Zis red squirrel. * Pointing to the drawing of Jessie *
Voldermont: Hmm, yes . squirrel. I've seen that red squirrel outside earlier with Harry Potter. Yes . so?
Muggle servant #1: So it is simple, my liege . ve need the squirrel . and we put her here. * Pointing to the gap * You no spill your drink . ve don't get killed with magic.
Voldermont: Gentlemen . * Muggle servants # 2 and 3 wake up *
Muggle servant #2: Yes my liege?
Voldermont: Get me, that one . red squirrel!
Muggle servant #2: Yes my liege. * They leave *
Voldermont: Now Muggle servant #1. Tell me about this plan to capture Harry Potter. * They start talking about it as the camera fades away with silence *
(Strange world _ morning _ The gang wake up hungry.)
Harry: I'm starving.
Ron: We're going to die here, aren't we?
Hermione: We just can't give up on hope can we? * Jessie is looking over the land. *
Jessie: * Slaps her forehead * How stupid of me. Why didn't I see it before?
The three: What?
Jessie: Don't you see the chocolates floating above the ground? That's the food we can survive off of. * They start getting it and the three start running to the chocolates. Jessie walks over to the chocolates *
Caption: 1 hour later
(The strange world _ The gang are full. It looks like Harry had too much and gained about 10-20 pounds.)
Jessie: Jesus Christ, Harry! How many damn chocolates did you eat??? * She said with this expression on her face: O_o;; *
Harry: I don't know. Maybe about 10 or 15 of them. * The chocolates were big so that you will know *
Jessie: I don't know how the fuck you could eat that many but . I just don't know. * It is silent for about ten seconds and Jessie starts bursting out laughing *
Harry: Why you little! * Harry had a hard time getting up which made Jessie laugh harder. When he finally got up Jessie started running and laughing at Harry at the same time *
To be continued
A/N: Lol! Was this pretty funny or what? Well tell me in your reviews. Captain Author signing off. :P