Note: I know, I know. I may have been a bit harsh in the last chp. But it was I think ten o'clock, and I can't think then! I've got nothin' against the English, believe me! I'm like .0000001 percent! I'VE STILL GOT SOME THERE! Besides, what better to call someone who's going out with two different guys at once...? *shivers* BUT HEY, this chapter will have no major insults! Because the next round will be...*drum roll* Oh and I don't own Kingdom Hearts either...*continuation of drum roll*

The Three *not-so* Little Helpers

In

A cool guy, The Man With a Swearing Problem, and A Lady With a Whip

Jack: Hey y'all and welcome back! It's been a while, (seeing how we had to clean up Tifa's insult mess), but will you look at that! We're back in business! And our next match will be....*looks at q-card, but suddenly shakes head in pity* Oh Lord...

Barret *from a distance*: I'm gonna kick yo sorry @$$, biotch, if ya come near me with dat whip!

Quistis: Well, to the theorem of volume capacity, your brain, with as thick of skull as yours, would only be the size of an orange, so I'll take my chance.

Barret: Why ya lil'...! Look, specs, if ya don't wanna get shot I-

Quistis *with insane look*: SPECS?! SPECS?!?! HOW DARE YOU....YOU...IRRESPONSIBLE TWIT!!

Barret: Oh, I'm so threatened. I mean, twit? TWIT? What kind of insult is that, specs?"

Quistis: MY NAME IS NOT SPECS!!!

Barret: Then what is it? Blonde?

Jack *singing forms*: I can just see another lawsuit coming on...

Camera guy: Uh...I think we're suppose to be starting now.

Jack: What's the point? The fight started when they entered the stadium.

Camera guy: ...

Jack: Alright, alright...*sighs depressed, going to the mic* Let the fight being.

*Barret and Quistis are the first to be released, basically choking each other. Barret takes a punch, Quistis jumping back. She unleashed the whip she had at her hip, snapping it once. Suddenly, the whole place goes into the rpg kinda fight thingy, where one person attacks at a time. Barret did is limit break, shooting a giant meteor shell at Quistis. She stumbles back, her HP going down to just one. Her limit break goes up to, and she does...whatever she does. After it hits, Barret heals himself, then Quistis heals herself. This match just goes back and forth like this. The audience suddenly gets bored, most yawning and some even beginning to snore. Jack even falls out of her chair, struck with boredom.*

*When something does eventually happen, the audience is woken up by the loud static of the speakers, Auron accidentally tripping over the cores and running into the microphone.*

Jack: FINALLY! What took you so long?

Auron: Forgive me. Those kids you sent Cloud and I after...well, let's just say the jumped me and threw me into a trashcan.

Jack: ^_^' And how did that happen?

Auron: Long story short, am I up yet?

Jack: Yes...Yes you're up. NOW GET OUT THERE BEFORE THEY START ASKING FOR REFUNDS!! *picks up Auron by the collar of his shirt and throws him out into the arena, (though she's about two feet short than he is)*

Auron: Now what did I miss? *Looks to find how SD everything looks* Oh...Seems I've gotten here just in time.

*Auron walks out, not affected by the RPG playing, and casts Ultima on Barret. His HP dramatically drops to zero. Everything goes out of the fight mode and Quistis walks over with awing eyes.*

Quistis: Thank you, kind sir!

Auron: No problem ma'am.

Quistis *thinking outloud*: Wow, what a hunk!

Auron: Uh...*trying to think of something that would get her to back off* I am dead you know.

Quistis: WHAT?!?! NOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!! HOW COME ALL THE GOOD LOOKING GUYS HAVE TO DIE OR BE EVIL!!!!! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!! *Run out crying*

Everyone in the stadium: *Sweatdrop*

Jack: Well, Auron wins, as I had thought. But how true...Either Sephiroth, or Auron, or Riku, or Ansem...Well, *starts wandering off* Cloud was good looking, but he was already claimed...Either by Aeris or Tifa.

Tifa: ME!!

Aeris: NO MEE!!

Tifa: MEEEE!!

Aeris: MEEEEE!!!

Tifa and Aeris: NO, CLOUD IS MIIIIIIIINNNNNNNNNNNEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!

Jack: Umm...Well that's all for now. *joins yelling crowd* ANY SPECIAL REQUESTS FOR THE NEXT MATCH WILL BE APPRECIATED!!