The Comic Relief
Jack: YES! HAHA!!!! I got an Sephiroth action figure for an early present! I'm so happy! *hugs doll*
Ansem:...You have issues...
Jack: I DO NOT!!!! *whacks him over the head with the Almighty Frying Pan* Anyway, our next match will be with the comic relieves of the games. First off...Cid and Yuffie!
*small applause*
Cid: Applauded you ((beeeep beeeep))
Yuffie: mumble mumble...
Cid: What are you sayin' now?!
Yuffie *screaming in his ear*: Your mouth was what happened the LAST job I tried to work at!!
Cid: What a- *interrupted when she puts a hand over his mouth*
Yuffie: Don't even...
Cid: The mascot at Wendy's?
Yuffie *with battle cry*: I'll KILL YOU!!!!
Jack: The match hasn't even started yet...
Yuffie *calming down and smiling broadly as she always does*: Oh right! Sorry!
Jack: Thought so..*stares over to Ansem, who's cracking up in tears*
Ansem: Mascot...Wendy's....It's just too funny!
Yuffie: *glaring*
Jack *pointing a finger at him, nodding*: In time, Yuffie. In time. *coughing to clear throat* Alright, next ground is...Selphie and Zell.
*Zell waves hands in the air, Selphie's bouncing around after having too much coffee on the way there.*
Jack: And the last group is...oh god...*looks up to author* Okay, Rikku I can understand, but Wakka?!
Author: Had to put him in somewhere.
Jack: But why?!?! He's not THAT important.
Author: Just shut up and do the match.
Jack: Right...OKAY, let the match begin!
Yuffie *diverting her attention to Ansem*: YOU'RE DEAD!!!!
Ansem: What?
Yuffie: DIE! *topples over the desk and tackles him.*
Jack *backs away and sit in the front of desk*: Okay, I'll just sit here.
Wakka: Bring it on, ya?
Cid: GAH! Where the (beep) did you get this guy!!!! His outfit...too colorful...hairstyle...can't...take it...!!!!! *gets out rifle, shooting. A hole suddenly forms in Wakka's spike on his head, everything going quiet*
Wakka: Whoa, ya?
Rikku: STOP SAYING "YA" so much!!!!!!! *hits him over the head and makes him pass out. Turns, glaring at Cid.* ALRIGHT! You're next old bag!
Cid: OLD BAG? where do you get off callin' me an old bag you little (beep).
Rikku *gasping*: Potty mouth! *gets out a bar of soap all of a sudden and shoves it in his mouth.*
Cid: *passes out because of fumes.*
Selphie: HA, HA!!!! *hits Rikku over the head with none-chucks.* MEBEATEVERYONESOMEWINHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!
Jack: *sweatdrop* Alright...Medic!
Selphie *being dragged away*: LA-DI-DA-DI-DA!!!!!!
Jack *looking over desk*: You finished yet?
Yuffie *hog-tying Ansem and standing up*: Yep, all finished!
Jack:...I guess that's it for this mat-
Ansem: *muffle muffle*
Jack: What?
Ansem: *muffle, muffle*
Jack: What?
Ansem: *MUFFLE, MUFFLE*
Jack: Sorry can't hear you.
Ansem *summoning Guardian to speak for him*: Master says Potter Grotter.
Jack: OHHHH, right, that. Okay. Well, just for the heck of it 'cuz the author found it funny when it was on the news. So, we've asked Harry Potter, the wizard sensation sweeping the nation, against Terry Grotter, the Russian counter part. Okay, let the fight begin.
Potter *getting out wand*: Now look I don't want any trouble-
Grotter: *insert Russian text*
Potter: What? Speak English!
Grotter: Alright you puny little weakling. *takes it wand and snaps it in half* I crush you like a bug, ya?
Potter: Uh...how about some tea and crumpets?
Grotter: You are a moron.
Potter: I AM NOT A MORON!
Grotter: You wear glasses with tape around them and do not get contacts. You are a moron!
Potter: ARE NOT!
Grotter: Are so, weakling!
Potter: I destroyed a giant snake!
Grotter: Okay, you're a moron and a geek.
Potter: ARE NOT!
Grotter: Whatever....
Potter: I'm not...*starts crying*
Grotter *shaking head*: Moron...Only reason why you get publicity is because publishing companies sue my author...Not to mention it took twenty year to get YOU famous, when I was an instant hit!
Potter: Copycat.
Grotter: Shut up, worm.
Potter: At least I do some good...
Jack and everyone there: *sweatdrop*
Jack: Uh, maybe this wasn't such a good idea. Well, we managed to make Harry Potter cry, Terry Grotter act like the Russian she is, (though it's more Soviet standing)...And seem to totally ruin the ending of this match. But do we care? NO! *shakes Sephiroth doll's head* Now please review...OR I'LL SICK SEPHIROTH JR. ON YOU!!!!!!
Or not...