AUTHOR'S NOTE: Thanks to whoever reviewed the first chapter! I say it
every time, but reviews mean the WORLD to me. So PLEASE review. They
inspire me to get writing, and they really help me change things that you
guys point out. In my opinion, this chapter is kind of shaky, but it's
kind of a transition-type chapter. I was planning on doing a whole breakup-
flashback thing for Chapter Three, and I wanted to kind of lead up to all
of the hurt Rory was going to be feeling. So, if you don't like this
chapter as much, don't give up! Tune in for the next one; I promise it'll
be better.
Quick shout-out to Mally-you've helped me SO much with this, and I love
love LOVE you! Thanks a bunch.
* * * * * * * * * * * *
My alarm clock startles me, ringing more obnoxiously than seemingly ever before. I hadn't been sleeping, but it surprised me nevertheless. I threw it across the room, wincing slightly as it hit the wall with a crunch. After it was silenced, I listened for something outside. Just as I dreaded, I heard the raindrops, crashing down on the roof, with no sign whatsoever of stopping.
I knew that I couldn't go to work like this. All day I'd be on the verge of tears; every word that anyone spoke would bring back another memory. I picked up the phone and dialed the number of the office I had been interning at all summer, praying that my boss, Georgia wouldn't be in this early.
Thank the Lord, she wasn't. I left a brief message, saying that I wasn't feeling well, and hung up with relief. God, she was going to be furious. I only had four days left in my internship, and Georgia was a dictator regardless. I had thought about staying to work to whole summer, just to stay away from Stars Hollow, but after I met Georgia I changed my mind rather quickly.
No matter how much heartache Stars Hollow causes me, it was better than being here. At least I get to see mom. That was a huge plus. But she always puts so much effort into trying to make me feel better and the more she tries, the more depressed I feel.
Because we used to always be so happy together, being able to cheer each other up no matter the circumstance. I guess this circumstance is the one sole exception, because now it's like I'm completely different and she's always trying to make me the same again. But nothing's the same anymore.
He introduced me to rain and now, in his absence, he's made it rain on every part of my life-even on the one relationship I was sure would never change. Then again, he's changed a lot of things that I always counted on.
With a defeated sigh, I press "play" on the VCR, starting over the same tape I had just watched twice in the last six hours. It was "Singing in the Rain."
* * *
We never really mentioned the whole dancing incident to each other, but every time it rained from then on the whole world seemed to be filled with magic.
In the diner you would look outside very pointedly, then look back at me and raise your eyebrows with a smirk. Mom was always on my case as to why I had that "goofy smile" on my face, and I didn't mind in the least walking to my bus stop in the rain.
It was like my mom with snow-the rain was a special "present" made just for us. And each time it rained we couldn't help but go out and enjoy our present a little bit.
We had our first fight in the rain. We danced in the rain again and again and again. We took walks in the rain, sipping coffee and stealing kisses as we strolled down the empty streets hand in hand. The first time you ever told me you loved me was in the rain. The last time you ever told me you loved me was in the rain. We had our last fight in the rain.
* * *
I was watching Judy Garland dance around and sing in the rain, when out of nowhere I had the urge to do the same, Jess or no Jess. In all the times I had my mopey-rain days, I had never once had the urge to do anything on my own. I had always wanted him to be with me.
Ignoring Judy for the moment, I went over to the window, peeled back the curtains, and peeked outside. It was raining in the most perfect way: just hard enough so it would make most people rush through it clutching their umbrellas with their perfectly groomed hair and clothes whipping around in the wind. But not so hard it hurt and pelted you cruelly, making you squint your eyes in order to keep the water out of them and to even see.
It had been so long since I'd been out in the rain. Each time it began to rain, I'd done what I'm doing right now: hiding out like a coward in my apartment, afraid to face the world, afraid that they could somehow see the weakness that this weather brings me. And I was tired of hiding. The rain was still my present. Just because he isn't here for me to share it with anymore, it doesn't change the fact that it is mine, too.
With a newfound sense of courage, I switched off the TV. I went to the closet and got out my rain jacket and boots, putting them on and fastening the hood of the jacket securely. As I walked out of the front door, I couldn't help feeling a little nervous, but at the same time very proud and extremely brave.
Maybe I was healing. I didn't think it would ever happen-I just assumed that I would remain deeply hurt and depressed for the rest of my life. But five years is a pretty long time to wallow. Healing might be possible after all.
* * *
For a while I just walked around town, timidly, as if walking in the rain was an art and I was so rusty I had simply lost my grasp on the craft. I shivered; it was a cold rain. What I needed was coffee. There was a pretty good shop nearby, and when I got there I decided to stop in for a cup. They had a pretty good little book corner, so after I got the coffee I looked around. I stopped at the poetry section and picked up "Howl".
I hadn't read it in ages, considering that it was the book you stole from me that first time we met, so consequently, like so many other things, it reminded me of you and I avoided it. I skimmed through it, smiling slightly. I had forgotten how good it was. It seemed a bit empty without your notes in the margins, but I decided to overlook that.
I marched over to the register, pulled out a couple bucks, and bought it. I smiled in my triumph, considering this to be my first official sign of Healing. The first of very many. I put the book in my pocket, threw away my now-empty coffee cup, and started out again.
* * *
I just wandered around for a while after that, feeling more confident than I had before. The art of walking in the rain must be returning. The streets were empty, and the old feeling of excitement and giddiness that I used to get whenever it rained began to make its way back to me.
I felt a giggle bubbling up in my throat, and for the first time in what seems like forever, I let it escape. It felt so good to laugh again, so I didn't stop. I just laughed and laughed and laughed.
When I got to the park, I stopped, and took my hood off. The wet, cold, rain fell crisply against me, and my hair became matted against my face. I took off my jacket, letting the rain completely drench me. I closed my eyes and began to twirl around, smiling up at the gray sky. As I danced I forgot about everything; I didn't care how ridiculous I looked to the rest of the world, I was too occupied to worry about them right now.
I heard a noise, and I stopped abruptly, opening my eyes. Across the park I saw a couple who couldn't have been older than seventeen, not rushing, but just slowly strolling in the rain. They were holding hands and smiling at each other, completely oblivious to the world around them. They hadn't even seen me.
All of a sudden I felt everything crashing down on me, all of the "healing" that had occurred suddenly erased, and all the hurt came flooding back to take its place. I began to cry, and took off running, leaving my jacket lying there. I couldn't care less what happened to it.
I ran the whole way back, just needing to be out of the rain. Every drop was like a dagger in me. I never stopped crying, and as I kept running, my tears and the rain mixed together. You couldn't even tell where one ended and the other began.
* * * * * * * * * * * *
Ok, guys, PLEASE review. PLEEEEEEEAAAAAASEEEEE. If you have ANY ideas, I would LOVE to hear them. Be critical! I love you all.
* * * * * * * * * * * *
My alarm clock startles me, ringing more obnoxiously than seemingly ever before. I hadn't been sleeping, but it surprised me nevertheless. I threw it across the room, wincing slightly as it hit the wall with a crunch. After it was silenced, I listened for something outside. Just as I dreaded, I heard the raindrops, crashing down on the roof, with no sign whatsoever of stopping.
I knew that I couldn't go to work like this. All day I'd be on the verge of tears; every word that anyone spoke would bring back another memory. I picked up the phone and dialed the number of the office I had been interning at all summer, praying that my boss, Georgia wouldn't be in this early.
Thank the Lord, she wasn't. I left a brief message, saying that I wasn't feeling well, and hung up with relief. God, she was going to be furious. I only had four days left in my internship, and Georgia was a dictator regardless. I had thought about staying to work to whole summer, just to stay away from Stars Hollow, but after I met Georgia I changed my mind rather quickly.
No matter how much heartache Stars Hollow causes me, it was better than being here. At least I get to see mom. That was a huge plus. But she always puts so much effort into trying to make me feel better and the more she tries, the more depressed I feel.
Because we used to always be so happy together, being able to cheer each other up no matter the circumstance. I guess this circumstance is the one sole exception, because now it's like I'm completely different and she's always trying to make me the same again. But nothing's the same anymore.
He introduced me to rain and now, in his absence, he's made it rain on every part of my life-even on the one relationship I was sure would never change. Then again, he's changed a lot of things that I always counted on.
With a defeated sigh, I press "play" on the VCR, starting over the same tape I had just watched twice in the last six hours. It was "Singing in the Rain."
* * *
We never really mentioned the whole dancing incident to each other, but every time it rained from then on the whole world seemed to be filled with magic.
In the diner you would look outside very pointedly, then look back at me and raise your eyebrows with a smirk. Mom was always on my case as to why I had that "goofy smile" on my face, and I didn't mind in the least walking to my bus stop in the rain.
It was like my mom with snow-the rain was a special "present" made just for us. And each time it rained we couldn't help but go out and enjoy our present a little bit.
We had our first fight in the rain. We danced in the rain again and again and again. We took walks in the rain, sipping coffee and stealing kisses as we strolled down the empty streets hand in hand. The first time you ever told me you loved me was in the rain. The last time you ever told me you loved me was in the rain. We had our last fight in the rain.
* * *
I was watching Judy Garland dance around and sing in the rain, when out of nowhere I had the urge to do the same, Jess or no Jess. In all the times I had my mopey-rain days, I had never once had the urge to do anything on my own. I had always wanted him to be with me.
Ignoring Judy for the moment, I went over to the window, peeled back the curtains, and peeked outside. It was raining in the most perfect way: just hard enough so it would make most people rush through it clutching their umbrellas with their perfectly groomed hair and clothes whipping around in the wind. But not so hard it hurt and pelted you cruelly, making you squint your eyes in order to keep the water out of them and to even see.
It had been so long since I'd been out in the rain. Each time it began to rain, I'd done what I'm doing right now: hiding out like a coward in my apartment, afraid to face the world, afraid that they could somehow see the weakness that this weather brings me. And I was tired of hiding. The rain was still my present. Just because he isn't here for me to share it with anymore, it doesn't change the fact that it is mine, too.
With a newfound sense of courage, I switched off the TV. I went to the closet and got out my rain jacket and boots, putting them on and fastening the hood of the jacket securely. As I walked out of the front door, I couldn't help feeling a little nervous, but at the same time very proud and extremely brave.
Maybe I was healing. I didn't think it would ever happen-I just assumed that I would remain deeply hurt and depressed for the rest of my life. But five years is a pretty long time to wallow. Healing might be possible after all.
* * *
For a while I just walked around town, timidly, as if walking in the rain was an art and I was so rusty I had simply lost my grasp on the craft. I shivered; it was a cold rain. What I needed was coffee. There was a pretty good shop nearby, and when I got there I decided to stop in for a cup. They had a pretty good little book corner, so after I got the coffee I looked around. I stopped at the poetry section and picked up "Howl".
I hadn't read it in ages, considering that it was the book you stole from me that first time we met, so consequently, like so many other things, it reminded me of you and I avoided it. I skimmed through it, smiling slightly. I had forgotten how good it was. It seemed a bit empty without your notes in the margins, but I decided to overlook that.
I marched over to the register, pulled out a couple bucks, and bought it. I smiled in my triumph, considering this to be my first official sign of Healing. The first of very many. I put the book in my pocket, threw away my now-empty coffee cup, and started out again.
* * *
I just wandered around for a while after that, feeling more confident than I had before. The art of walking in the rain must be returning. The streets were empty, and the old feeling of excitement and giddiness that I used to get whenever it rained began to make its way back to me.
I felt a giggle bubbling up in my throat, and for the first time in what seems like forever, I let it escape. It felt so good to laugh again, so I didn't stop. I just laughed and laughed and laughed.
When I got to the park, I stopped, and took my hood off. The wet, cold, rain fell crisply against me, and my hair became matted against my face. I took off my jacket, letting the rain completely drench me. I closed my eyes and began to twirl around, smiling up at the gray sky. As I danced I forgot about everything; I didn't care how ridiculous I looked to the rest of the world, I was too occupied to worry about them right now.
I heard a noise, and I stopped abruptly, opening my eyes. Across the park I saw a couple who couldn't have been older than seventeen, not rushing, but just slowly strolling in the rain. They were holding hands and smiling at each other, completely oblivious to the world around them. They hadn't even seen me.
All of a sudden I felt everything crashing down on me, all of the "healing" that had occurred suddenly erased, and all the hurt came flooding back to take its place. I began to cry, and took off running, leaving my jacket lying there. I couldn't care less what happened to it.
I ran the whole way back, just needing to be out of the rain. Every drop was like a dagger in me. I never stopped crying, and as I kept running, my tears and the rain mixed together. You couldn't even tell where one ended and the other began.
* * * * * * * * * * * *
Ok, guys, PLEASE review. PLEEEEEEEAAAAAASEEEEE. If you have ANY ideas, I would LOVE to hear them. Be critical! I love you all.