Big Fat Bloated Puss-filled Malformed Festering Sweaty Slug-for-a-Butt
Jack: Okay, okay. With this, controversy. There's no other word to describe it. There's only ONE possible explanation for it all! One match that shall decide it all!
Ansem: GET ON WITH IT!
Jack:...Auron and Sephiroth...
*crowd cheers, both competitors entering*
Jack: Woo-hoo! Go Sephy!
*crowd throws cans and bottles at her who like Auron more. Other fans of Sephiroth gang up on them and their a bit riot, a car all the sudden being throw into the arena.*
Jack *standing on desk*: WAIT! HOLD IT!!! *everyone stops, some even still being choked but listening* It's Auron and Sephy vs SOMETHING ELSE!
Everyone: OOOOHHH!
Jack: Yeah. Well, it's them vs something HORRIBLE, something TERRIBLE...
Ansem: WHAT IS IT ALREADY!
Jack *screaming in his ear*: I'M GETTING TO THAT!!!! NOW SHUT UP!! Anyway, they're up against King Ug.
Everyone: Huh?
Jack: Yep, King Ug, the most discussing, fowl being in the universe.
King Ug *gigantic mass of a blob walking in with it sounding like bubble wrap*: UG UG UG!!!!
Ansem: EUH, don't tell me...!!!
Jack: uh-huh, that sound you're hearing, big warts and zits popping as it walks.
Ansem: Uh!!! *turns off behind desk, barfing in the near by trashcan*
Jack: Yes... I know...
Auron: *feels of doing the same*
Sephiroth: *shakes head in pity, unbelieving that this was what they had to fight.*
Jack: Alright, let the fight begin *mumbling* may luck be with them...
Auron: Alright, I'll take care of you *he's says, trying to get close to attack with weapon, but can hardly without turning away* Uh...the stench...TOO MUCH!!!!!
Sephiroth: How hard can this stupid, idiotic, opponent be? *gets nine feet to swipe with masamune, but it just slicks off when it tries to hit* What the? *looks up to Ug's Hp* WHAT?! NO DAMAGE? WHAT KIND OF A (BEEP) MONSTER IS THIS?!
King Ug *think imperial march from star wars. Marches around like an idiot*: UG UG UG Ug-UGUG Ug-UGUG, UG UG UG Ug-UGUG Ug-UGUG!!!! *Stops, flying fists into air* UG SMASH! *Makes Sephiroth go flying across the arena*
Everyone who ever as a Sephiroth fan: *cracks hands, rolling up sleeves*
King Ug *to Auron*: UG SMASH! *does the same thing*
Everyone who ever was a Auron fan: *screaming enraged, charging the arena floor*
*Crowd suddenly comes into stadium floor, vendors handing out close-line pins to cover noses as everyone grabs a police beater and anything they can find and starts beating him up.*
Sephiroth *standing up*: Well, seems they have it covered.
Auron: Hmm...Sad how they'd do more for us and get arrested than we'd do getting paid.
Sephiroth: What are you talking about? You didn't stand a chance!
Auron: Oh yeah, well you were the one who got hit first!
Sephiroth: So what? You got sick getting close to it, and did you see me flinch? NO!
Auron: Is that a challenge?
Sephiroth: Of course *ears perk up, turning away slowly* But Mother is calling. I must go.
Auron: coughcoughmama'sboycoughcough *starts chuckling*
Sephiroth *glaring*: What did you say?
Auron *whistling*: Nothing...
Sephiroth: That not *turns away, smirking as he mumbles, soon disappearing into the shadows* Perved chicken wuss...
Auron: WHAT?! YOU GET BACK HERE!!! COWARD!!!!!
Jack *dusting off hands after come back with shotgun in hand. Sees blob seep into cracks of stadium as there's nothing in solid mass to sustain.* Well, this was a happy ending, won't you say?
Ansem: *still throwing up in trashcan*
Jack: My thoughts exactly! Anyway, please review and tell us what to do next so the author doesn't have to improvise like this again...
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A/N King Ug is the evil minion in my bro's rpg he's playing. Just thought I'd put it in since NO ONE'S BEING SPECIFIC!!!! (no offense, I just couldn't think of anything else ^_^' please suggest what characters, in stead of a theme, 'cuz it's a lot easier to think of after HOURS OF GEOMETRY HOMEWORK!!!!!)*oh and the beginning, Earth Worm Jim titles don't belong to me either...I despise disclaimers but what are you gonna do?*