Title: 'People vs. Chegwidden' - Part Fifteen
Author: Daenar
Disclaimer: See Part One
From part fourteen:
When the recording had ended, Mac gaped at her husband, at a loss of words. This was all the proof they needed. Maryann's voice was faint but still comprehensible. At last, Mac found her speech. "So you're telling me that while she was trying to get rid of you, you, just like that, coaxed her into supplying us with the one decisive piece of evidence that will clear Chegwidden's name?" she asked, thunderstruck by how he had kept a cool head in spite of his situation.
"Yep." Harm just grinned.
Mac bent down and passionately kissed him. "Do you know that you're an amazing man, Harmon Rabb, Jr.?"
Keeping his eyes shut, a very satisfied expression showing on his face, he acknowledged. "Yes. And that's exactly why you love me, Colonel."
As he heard her snort, he had a hard time to keep his mouth from twitching.
Part Fifteen:
Tue, March 2nd 1334 ZULU The Sims' mountain cabin Allegheny Mountains, WVA
The first thing Harm noticed as he woke up was the warm, slender body that was lying in his arms. Mac was still sleeping peacefully, obviously utterly exhausted from the strain of the last few days. Harm carefully buried his face in the curve of her neck, reveling in the feeling of her calmly rising and falling chest against his own. God, he had missed this. Missed her. And there had been desperate moments when he had been forced to believe that he'd probably never be able to hold her like that again.
His relief threatened to overwhelm him. She was with him and this was all he ever needed. Gathering her still tighter into his embrace he willed his emotions to calm down. Trying to shut everything else out of his mind, Harm concentrated only on her scent, the feel of her silky skin, the softness of her hair against his cheeks, the warmth of her body. The evening before, his condition hadn't been life-threatening, but his temperature had been rather low. So Mac had decided that the best way to warm him up again was to lie next to him, skin to skin, under the heavy blanket in the Sims' bedroom. And as soon as the others had left and Sergei and Jeannine had retreated into the guest room, Mac had first called Zanelli at the hospital, quickly explaining the situation and ordering him to cover for them. Then she had built up a strong fire in the bedroom's fireplace, had undressed Harm and herself and had cuddled up to him. Too exhausted even to think, Harm had barely managed to kiss her goodnight before drifting off to dreamland.
But now, after a good night's rest, he was keenly aware of her physical closeness and the effect it produced on him. And suddenly he felt fear rise inside himself. He tensed and swallowed, taking deep breaths to try and calm down, but the fear wouldn't subside. Sure, Mac was in his arms, but what if he'd never again be able to love her the way he longed to? What if Cramer's assault had deprived them of their cherished moments of physical union, the feeling of being as close as they could possibly get to one another, the feel of truly being one flesh and one soul? And what if Mac felt that he couldn't give her all she wanted anymore? Would they drift apart? Would he lose her all the same, even now as he tried so hard to be himself again?
His fear threatened to choke him. 'Power down, Hammer!' he tried to fight his demons. 'You don't know yet what will happen to you. Don't panic!' Slowly he managed to get a grip. But try as he might - he couldn't completely chase the gnawing uneasiness.
A soft whine from the direction of Trisha's makeshift crib made him listen. Obviously Mac's maternal instincts had been on high alert the whole time she had been sleeping, for she instantly stirred, opened her eyes and cast Harm a brilliant smile before quickly getting up and taking her daughter up in her arms. Then she settled down on the bed again and prepared to feed the little girl.
"Good morning, sailor," she said softly, bending down to kiss him. "How do you feel?"
Harm willed away his anxiety and tried a smile. "I don't know where to start," he admitted sincerely.
Mac smiled. "I know what you mean," she agreed, "I haven't slept so well in weeks as I did last night. Thanks to you."
He tried to ignore the sting that her answer evoked. "I noticed," he simply whispered.
"I missed you, sailor."
"And I you, my favorite Marine," he answered, slowly reaching up with his hand and tenderly caressing her cheek, watching her as she half lay beside him with their little girl.
Trisha didn't seem to be too hungry. She stopped sucking and whined very low, her little arms reaching for something in the air that was invisible to her parents.
Mac smiled as she observed her husband watching his little girl in awe. "You want to see to it?" she asked, holding out to him the towel that she used to put on her shoulder when Trisha had finished drinking.
He flashed her a surprised grin. "Yeah, I'd love to. Hold on a second." Gritting his teeth, he eventually managed to shove himself into a half- seated position as well. Mac placed the towel on his shoulder and then put the little girl in his arms. Harm softly kissed his daughter on her black hair as her small head rested against his shoulder.
"Tap her on the back," Mac instructed him. "She needs to get rid of the pressure in her stomach."
"I know," he replied, smiling. "You see, Mac, I may be a man, but I did go to lamaze classes with you, remember?"
She chuckled softly. "I'm sorry, flyboy. Of course you did." Unable to refrain from smiling, she watched as Harm occupied himself with his daughter. He seemed totally absorbed as he held her, the expression on his face mirroring Mac's own.
"I always imagined myself doing this," he murmured, more to himself than to her, "But this feels way different from what I expected."
"You've got it bad, Commander," Mac commented, smirking.
He looked up, grinning. "Jealous, Colonel?"
"Just a little bit," she smiled. "But I'm sure you'll be able to fix that, don't you think?" Her voice was just a little seductive, and to her astonishment, she saw his expression cloud for a second. "Harm?"
'Great, Hammer. Do you always have to be that obvious? Now she's worried and that's the last thing she needed.' "Uh..." he smiled a little sheepishly, "I have another problem to get rid of first."
Mac only raised her eyebrows.
"I'm sure you saw the bag they attached to my bladder at the hospital, right?"
She nodded.
"Well, I guess by now it would long have been replaced by a fresh one. But as that wasn't possible... Mac, I somehow need to get to the bathroom. Rather quickly, I fear." He gave her a lopsided grin.
"I see." Mac suspected that his uneasiness had yet another reason, but she decided to let it slip for the moment. His imminent problem needed attention first. She took Trisha from his arms and bedded her in her crib. Then she put on her bathrobe and rounded the bed. "Do you think you can stand if you lean on me?"
"I think so." He put his hands behind her neck and let her pull him up. Leaning heavily on her, he concentrated on shuffling one foot in front of the other, hearing Mac's labored breathing as she tried to hold him in a standing position. Luckily, the bathroom was next door, and she managed to get him inside.
"You sure you'll cope on your own?" she asked, gasping.
"Guess... so..." came his strained answer.
Mac waited outside, just in case he might need her. Two minutes later, she heard the flush.
"Mac?" came his voice from inside.
"Yeah?"
"Do you have a bandage or something? I got rid of the bag but I need something for the small wound it left behind."
"I'll see to it in a minute." She quickly got the first aid kit from her bag and joined him in the bathroom. Casting him a disapproving frown for his impatient self-treatment, she cleaned the wound that, fortunately, wasn't big. Then she applied a bandage to it. "Better wash and dress now," she advised him, "Bud, Harriet and a friend of hers will be here any minute with our breakfast." She fetched him fresh sweats and helped him clean up.
"What friend of hers?" he asked, curious.
"Do you remember little AJ's comrade, Tyler Crane?" He nodded. "His mom," she went on, "Works with Greenpeace. Harriet told her about the barrels in the woods, and she went out there and checked out the site. She agreed to be a witness in the trial."
"Great. Did you call the admiral yet?"
"No. Actually I'd like to do that first."
He smiled at her. "Go, Marine. I'll manage. You can tell Sergei to come and get me when I'm done here."
"Thanks." She quickly kissed him on the lips, made sure that he was seated safely against the wall and left the room. Outside she ran into Sergei who apparently wanted to take a shower. Mac instructed him to help his brother and get him into the living room once he was finished. Then she asked Jeannine to look after Trisha and went over to the phone.
Tue, March 2nd 1425 ZULU Detention Facility Washington Navy Yard Washington, D.C.
"Admiral? You have a phone call."
AJ inwardly sighed with relief. Ever since Mac had, casually, told him of their break-in at Minton Greenwood, he had been uneasy about what the lunatics who called themselves JAG officers would do next. Whenever he got a phone call, he could at least be sure that they were still able to get in touch with him and hadn't all got caught doing something illegal. Or worse.
Eagerly, he grabbed the receiver. "Chegwidden," he barked.
"Admiral, it's Mac."
"Just for the record, Colonel, I'm still mad at you."
She actually chuckled! 'There goes discipline...' he frowned.
"And we're all very sorry for what we did, sir."
AJ had to grin despite himself. "The hell you are," he answered, not even succeeding to sound gruff. It felt good to be sure that those kids were working on his release. "So what's the news? I hope everything is going smoothly?" He stretched and stressed the last word and immediately felt his trepidation rise as she hesitated to answer.
"Uhm... yes, sir." She sounded embarrassed.
AJ cleared his throat. "Tell me," he only stated pointedly.
"Umm, yesterday evening Cmdr. Cramer found out about Harm's state, sir."
Couldn't she just spill the beans? Why did she always have to pause? "Go on, Colonel," AJ said, trying to stay calm.
"You know Harm's helpless, sir, so she just walked out of the hospital with him and brought him up in the woods, obviously intending to leave him there to die from hypothermia. He wouldn't have been able to walk away."
"How did you find out?"
"I had brought Harm his cell-phone earlier, to get him to practice his fine motor skills. And I was allowed to bring him some sweats as well. He kept the phone hidden in a small inside pocket, pressed a key in the hope of reaching someone and got Claire. She understood what the situation was about and went after him with Fred who managed to track the signal. They called us and we secured him. We're at the Sims' mountain cabin right now, up in the Alleghenies, hiding out with Sturgis' permission."
AJ let out an exasperated and relieved breath. "Good God, Mac, I'm glad to hear you're safe. How's Harm?"
"Much better now, sir. He's using the time to get to know his daughter." AJ could hear Mac smile and had to smile himself.
"Tell him to keep doing that. He'd just get in your way with the investigation. And he'll hardly be helpful to me in his present state." To his bewilderment, AJ heard Mac laugh out loud at his last remark. "What's so funny, Colonel?" he asked a little gruffly.
"I'm sorry, sir. But you know Harm. Actually, he was infinitely helpful to our cause yesterday night."
AJ's brow furrowed. "How's that?"
Mac was still chuckling. "You see, sir, instead of trying to figure out a way to get away from his captor, he relied on us to find him and got Cramer to confess that she killed Sydney, unaware of the fact that he recorded the confession on his cell."
AJ was speechless. Rabb's damn luck again... "Well... tell him I'm grateful, Colonel. But I order him to stay out of your way from now on. Right?"
"Understood, sir. How are you?"
"Bored."
Again Mac chuckled and AJ loved the sound. "Take care, sir," Mac said warmly.
"You do that, too, Sarah," he answered softly, "All of you. I'd like to have a family to get back to."
"You do, sir."
Wed. March 3rd 0424 ZULU Guest room The Sims' mountain cabin Allegheny Mountains, WVA
Jeannine was lying on her back, arms crossed behind her head, staring at the ceiling. Sunday she would have to go back to Long Island. It felt strange to think of the college's safe everyday-routine when you were hiding out from a lunatic killer in a deserted mountain cabin with a disabled man, a near-to-newborn baby and your boyfriend of a few weeks. How could she ever get back to her normal life after this? How could she ever get Dorrie or Cass to believe her when she told them of her break-in into a highly secured firm? Although she was sure that her friends carefully followed the events on the news, they'd never, never swallow the role she had played in the affair. And how could you go back to sleep alone when you had shared your nights with one of the most caring and tender young men alive?
Nothing intimate had happened yet between her and Sergei, and somehow Jeannine was grateful for it. Although she had the impression that she already knew him better than she'd ever known her former boyfriend, she felt that this new relationship might go beyond what she'd ever experienced and she needed time to adjust. Sergei was too shy to ever push her to anything. So, by unspoken agreement, they rejoiced in what they had and let things happen when they were due. But she had definitely gotten used to sleep in his embrace and she was going to miss that.
A rustle at her side shook her from her thoughts. Sergei switched off the lights and leaned over to her. Even in the dark she could see his smile. "Spakoynoy nochy, Yanina."
"Good night to you, too, Sergeant." She smiled and closed her eyes as she felt Sergei's head descend to kiss her. Feeling his lips shyly brush hers, she tensed and lifted her head a little to return his caress.
As he felt her respond, Sergei willed himself to refrain from embracing her tightly like he suddenly longed to. He had felt this way before, but out here, in the quiet intimacy of the mountain cabin, she seemed nearer to him than even in his own apartment. The one thing he dreaded was asking too much of her. So he just limited himself to moving closer to her, his head on her pillow, smiling at her in the dark. Suddenly adrenaline shot up high inside his body as she leaned over and kissed him again. Her kiss was soft, but determined. He tentatively wrapped his arms around her and pulled her close, never breaking the kiss.
Jeannine felt a little frightened when she noticed the passion that slowly started to build between them as their kiss grew in intensity. But on the other hand she had never felt as secure as she did right now in Sergei's arms. She sensed his hands on her back under her t-shirt, the sensation being the physical confirmation of Sergei's tender disposition. He wouldn't do anything that she didn't consent to. Her heart went out to him and she again felt fear. Not of him. Tonight, she would have gone anywhere he decided to lead. But she wasn't accustomed to feel so deeply for a man, and she wasn't ready to lose control yet. What if it didn't work out?
Sergei immediately sensed her inward tension. At once he retreated, slightly confused and concerned. "I... I'm sorry, Jan," he whispered.
Jeannine reached out and gently caressed his cheek. "There's nothing you need to be sorry for, Sergei," she said softly, "It felt wonderful to be caressed that way. I just think I'm not ready yet for more. Can you understand that?"
"Of course, and I'm sorry I pushed you." His voice was still uneasy.
Jeannine once again closed the distance and slowly, tenderly kissed him. "You didn't. I love you, Sergei. You know that, right?"
She could hear his relieved smile when he spoke. "I know. Ya tulka looblyóo, Yanina. I really do."
She sighed contently and settled down in his arms, listening to his heartbeat as she waited for sleep to come to her.
Same time The Sims' bedroom
Mac closed the door behind herself and quickly checked on the peacefully sleeping baby before she turned off the lights and slipped under the blanket beside her husband. Harm already seemed to be sleeping, lying on his right side, turning his back towards her. Mac smiled a little wryly to herself. She had hoped for a few... inspiring moments before going to sleep. But she would not disturb him now. As could have been expected, he had done everything but obey Chegwidden's order not to get involved in the investigation. First, he had insisted on questioning Casey Crane together, too curious to just sit passively by. To everyone's great relief, Casey Crane had turned out to be an expert on chemical pollution and was more than able to be a key witness.
Later on, Harm and Bud had worked out a defense strategy together. Mac was grateful that she and Fred would have a solid base to work from now, but she had scolded him for wearing himself out. And when she had finally thought that she had convinced him to quit working, he had only called Sergei and done physical exercises until he had been covered with sweat from head to toe. He had earned his rest.
Scooping close to him, she softly bade him goodnight. "Sleep well, flyboy. Sweet dreams." She reached over with her left hand in order to caress his face, but froze when she felt that his cheek was wet. And at her touch, she was shocked to hear that Harm tried to suppress a sob. Immediately she wrapped him in her arms and gently turned him to lie on his back. He barely tried to resist. Both his cheeks bore traces of tears and he squeezed his lips shut as he looked up at her in helpless grief.
Mac was shaken to the bottom of her heart. "Harm? What is it?" she asked gently, hurting to see him this desperate.
He only sniffed and turned his head to the side to avoid her kind eyes. Her compassionate glance hurt too much right now.
"Harm, talk to me," she tried again, softly kissing his cheek, tasting the salt of his tears.
"Can't," he only choked out, again trying to suppress a sob but failing.
Mac felt her own composure weaken, being completely clueless why her love was hurting. "Please, Harm, let me help you. I'm still your best friend, remember?"
"I couldn't bear losing you, Mac," he whispered, still not daring to face her.
Puzzled, Mac tightened her embrace, moving closer. "I already told you on the admiral's porch that, no matter what, you won't lose me," she answered softly, resting her forehead against his cheek. "What makes you think you will ever get rid of me, sailor?"
He drew a shaky breath, seemingly forcing himself to speak. "I might never again be the man you married, Sarah," he said, his voice uneven and strained.
At once she understood where his statement was headed. "Oh, Harm..." she only managed to whisper before her own tears made their way to the surface. She cried silently for a few moments, sharing his grief, but feeling relieved at the same time that they were facing a problem that she was sure they could overcome. He had always been strong for her. Now it was her turn. Gathering her resolve, she turned him onto his left side to face her, quickly wiping away her tears. Then she reached out and caressed away some of his tears as well. "You are all I need, Harm, and you'll always be. You returned to your normal self the moment you moved that eyelid in front of me. I can't even begin to describe what I felt then. It was as if I'd gotten back the air that I needed to breathe."
Harm closed his eyes against the fresh pain that was invading his heart at her words. "Mac, I can't bear the thought of depending so entirely on you." His voice was barely more than a whisper. "I wanted to be the one to give you the home and family you never had, and now it's you who have to provide for me and Trisha."
"Harm, I don't care!" she contradicted almost violently. "As long as I have your mind, your thoughts, your love, your support, your... your..." she stopped, agitated. Drawing a deep breath to calm down, she continued. "It's your inside that I love. And I thank God that, no matter to what degree you get your physical abilities back, He gave me back your company. You and I are going to watch our daughter grow up. Isn't that the greatest gift that we could ever get?"
Tentatively Harm reached out for her and returned her embrace. His feelings were in turmoil. Only one single thought emerged from the whirlwind that his mind had turned into: 'God, from the bottom of my heart I thank You for this woman at my side.' He held on to her for several long moments until he felt he could think straight again. And instantly part of his fear returned. She told him now that she loved him, but would she still do so in twenty years if he couldn't be what she had wanted him to be when they got married? "Maybe I'll never be able to watch out for you," he whispered, "Maybe I'll never walk my daughter down the aisle. Maybe I'll never give you another child. Maybe..." his voice went lower still, "Maybe I'll never be able to love you again, Sarah..." he let his voice trail off, not trusting it to any more words.
Mac was unable to stand his grief, it was tearing at her heart. It was so unlike Harm to give up on himself, and it scared her beyond recognition. Didn't he know by now that, even if she wanted to, she'd never be able to walk away from him? Didn't he know that her heart was tied to his in a bond that no one had ever been able to break the whole time that she had known him? Seeing him lie there, helplessly lost in his despair, she understood that she needed to prove to him that he still was the man she had married, that he hadn't changed, and that, in time, he would be everything he wanted to be for her. And she needed to prove it now. Praying for strength, she cupped his face.
"Listen to me," she said softly, trying a slight smile. "You've surprised everyone around here with your efforts to get back to normal. You managed to accomplish things that others could only dream of. Try to think back to your ramp strike. Did you get back on track that quickly back then? Tell me, did you?"
"No," he whispered, his expression unreadable. "But I didn't have you, Sarah."
'Thank you, God, he trusts me to this,' she sent another silent prayer heavenward. Softly caressing his cheeks, his forehead, his closed eyes, his lips, she went on. "Then let me help you, Harm. Let me prove to you that you are all you could ever be to me."
"How do you think you can do that?" he asked, his eyes still closed.
"Trust me," she only said as she quickly removed her nightgown. He started when he felt her tug at his t-shirt. His eyelids flew open and she could read fear in his eyes as he understood what she was planning to do, fear to fail and disappoint her.
"Mac, I can't..."
She only smiled reassuringly, disposing of his clothes and moving close to him. She cupped his face and felt him tremble as she slowly and deeply kissed him. Drawing back, she looked into his eyes, seeing that the fear had made way for hope and uneasiness that were fighting a battle inside his mind. "Trust me, Harm," she only repeated before kissing him afresh, giving a little jump of joy as she felt his trembling hands starting to shyly caress her back.
To be continued... (Feedback always appreciated!)
From part fourteen:
When the recording had ended, Mac gaped at her husband, at a loss of words. This was all the proof they needed. Maryann's voice was faint but still comprehensible. At last, Mac found her speech. "So you're telling me that while she was trying to get rid of you, you, just like that, coaxed her into supplying us with the one decisive piece of evidence that will clear Chegwidden's name?" she asked, thunderstruck by how he had kept a cool head in spite of his situation.
"Yep." Harm just grinned.
Mac bent down and passionately kissed him. "Do you know that you're an amazing man, Harmon Rabb, Jr.?"
Keeping his eyes shut, a very satisfied expression showing on his face, he acknowledged. "Yes. And that's exactly why you love me, Colonel."
As he heard her snort, he had a hard time to keep his mouth from twitching.
Part Fifteen:
Tue, March 2nd 1334 ZULU The Sims' mountain cabin Allegheny Mountains, WVA
The first thing Harm noticed as he woke up was the warm, slender body that was lying in his arms. Mac was still sleeping peacefully, obviously utterly exhausted from the strain of the last few days. Harm carefully buried his face in the curve of her neck, reveling in the feeling of her calmly rising and falling chest against his own. God, he had missed this. Missed her. And there had been desperate moments when he had been forced to believe that he'd probably never be able to hold her like that again.
His relief threatened to overwhelm him. She was with him and this was all he ever needed. Gathering her still tighter into his embrace he willed his emotions to calm down. Trying to shut everything else out of his mind, Harm concentrated only on her scent, the feel of her silky skin, the softness of her hair against his cheeks, the warmth of her body. The evening before, his condition hadn't been life-threatening, but his temperature had been rather low. So Mac had decided that the best way to warm him up again was to lie next to him, skin to skin, under the heavy blanket in the Sims' bedroom. And as soon as the others had left and Sergei and Jeannine had retreated into the guest room, Mac had first called Zanelli at the hospital, quickly explaining the situation and ordering him to cover for them. Then she had built up a strong fire in the bedroom's fireplace, had undressed Harm and herself and had cuddled up to him. Too exhausted even to think, Harm had barely managed to kiss her goodnight before drifting off to dreamland.
But now, after a good night's rest, he was keenly aware of her physical closeness and the effect it produced on him. And suddenly he felt fear rise inside himself. He tensed and swallowed, taking deep breaths to try and calm down, but the fear wouldn't subside. Sure, Mac was in his arms, but what if he'd never again be able to love her the way he longed to? What if Cramer's assault had deprived them of their cherished moments of physical union, the feeling of being as close as they could possibly get to one another, the feel of truly being one flesh and one soul? And what if Mac felt that he couldn't give her all she wanted anymore? Would they drift apart? Would he lose her all the same, even now as he tried so hard to be himself again?
His fear threatened to choke him. 'Power down, Hammer!' he tried to fight his demons. 'You don't know yet what will happen to you. Don't panic!' Slowly he managed to get a grip. But try as he might - he couldn't completely chase the gnawing uneasiness.
A soft whine from the direction of Trisha's makeshift crib made him listen. Obviously Mac's maternal instincts had been on high alert the whole time she had been sleeping, for she instantly stirred, opened her eyes and cast Harm a brilliant smile before quickly getting up and taking her daughter up in her arms. Then she settled down on the bed again and prepared to feed the little girl.
"Good morning, sailor," she said softly, bending down to kiss him. "How do you feel?"
Harm willed away his anxiety and tried a smile. "I don't know where to start," he admitted sincerely.
Mac smiled. "I know what you mean," she agreed, "I haven't slept so well in weeks as I did last night. Thanks to you."
He tried to ignore the sting that her answer evoked. "I noticed," he simply whispered.
"I missed you, sailor."
"And I you, my favorite Marine," he answered, slowly reaching up with his hand and tenderly caressing her cheek, watching her as she half lay beside him with their little girl.
Trisha didn't seem to be too hungry. She stopped sucking and whined very low, her little arms reaching for something in the air that was invisible to her parents.
Mac smiled as she observed her husband watching his little girl in awe. "You want to see to it?" she asked, holding out to him the towel that she used to put on her shoulder when Trisha had finished drinking.
He flashed her a surprised grin. "Yeah, I'd love to. Hold on a second." Gritting his teeth, he eventually managed to shove himself into a half- seated position as well. Mac placed the towel on his shoulder and then put the little girl in his arms. Harm softly kissed his daughter on her black hair as her small head rested against his shoulder.
"Tap her on the back," Mac instructed him. "She needs to get rid of the pressure in her stomach."
"I know," he replied, smiling. "You see, Mac, I may be a man, but I did go to lamaze classes with you, remember?"
She chuckled softly. "I'm sorry, flyboy. Of course you did." Unable to refrain from smiling, she watched as Harm occupied himself with his daughter. He seemed totally absorbed as he held her, the expression on his face mirroring Mac's own.
"I always imagined myself doing this," he murmured, more to himself than to her, "But this feels way different from what I expected."
"You've got it bad, Commander," Mac commented, smirking.
He looked up, grinning. "Jealous, Colonel?"
"Just a little bit," she smiled. "But I'm sure you'll be able to fix that, don't you think?" Her voice was just a little seductive, and to her astonishment, she saw his expression cloud for a second. "Harm?"
'Great, Hammer. Do you always have to be that obvious? Now she's worried and that's the last thing she needed.' "Uh..." he smiled a little sheepishly, "I have another problem to get rid of first."
Mac only raised her eyebrows.
"I'm sure you saw the bag they attached to my bladder at the hospital, right?"
She nodded.
"Well, I guess by now it would long have been replaced by a fresh one. But as that wasn't possible... Mac, I somehow need to get to the bathroom. Rather quickly, I fear." He gave her a lopsided grin.
"I see." Mac suspected that his uneasiness had yet another reason, but she decided to let it slip for the moment. His imminent problem needed attention first. She took Trisha from his arms and bedded her in her crib. Then she put on her bathrobe and rounded the bed. "Do you think you can stand if you lean on me?"
"I think so." He put his hands behind her neck and let her pull him up. Leaning heavily on her, he concentrated on shuffling one foot in front of the other, hearing Mac's labored breathing as she tried to hold him in a standing position. Luckily, the bathroom was next door, and she managed to get him inside.
"You sure you'll cope on your own?" she asked, gasping.
"Guess... so..." came his strained answer.
Mac waited outside, just in case he might need her. Two minutes later, she heard the flush.
"Mac?" came his voice from inside.
"Yeah?"
"Do you have a bandage or something? I got rid of the bag but I need something for the small wound it left behind."
"I'll see to it in a minute." She quickly got the first aid kit from her bag and joined him in the bathroom. Casting him a disapproving frown for his impatient self-treatment, she cleaned the wound that, fortunately, wasn't big. Then she applied a bandage to it. "Better wash and dress now," she advised him, "Bud, Harriet and a friend of hers will be here any minute with our breakfast." She fetched him fresh sweats and helped him clean up.
"What friend of hers?" he asked, curious.
"Do you remember little AJ's comrade, Tyler Crane?" He nodded. "His mom," she went on, "Works with Greenpeace. Harriet told her about the barrels in the woods, and she went out there and checked out the site. She agreed to be a witness in the trial."
"Great. Did you call the admiral yet?"
"No. Actually I'd like to do that first."
He smiled at her. "Go, Marine. I'll manage. You can tell Sergei to come and get me when I'm done here."
"Thanks." She quickly kissed him on the lips, made sure that he was seated safely against the wall and left the room. Outside she ran into Sergei who apparently wanted to take a shower. Mac instructed him to help his brother and get him into the living room once he was finished. Then she asked Jeannine to look after Trisha and went over to the phone.
Tue, March 2nd 1425 ZULU Detention Facility Washington Navy Yard Washington, D.C.
"Admiral? You have a phone call."
AJ inwardly sighed with relief. Ever since Mac had, casually, told him of their break-in at Minton Greenwood, he had been uneasy about what the lunatics who called themselves JAG officers would do next. Whenever he got a phone call, he could at least be sure that they were still able to get in touch with him and hadn't all got caught doing something illegal. Or worse.
Eagerly, he grabbed the receiver. "Chegwidden," he barked.
"Admiral, it's Mac."
"Just for the record, Colonel, I'm still mad at you."
She actually chuckled! 'There goes discipline...' he frowned.
"And we're all very sorry for what we did, sir."
AJ had to grin despite himself. "The hell you are," he answered, not even succeeding to sound gruff. It felt good to be sure that those kids were working on his release. "So what's the news? I hope everything is going smoothly?" He stretched and stressed the last word and immediately felt his trepidation rise as she hesitated to answer.
"Uhm... yes, sir." She sounded embarrassed.
AJ cleared his throat. "Tell me," he only stated pointedly.
"Umm, yesterday evening Cmdr. Cramer found out about Harm's state, sir."
Couldn't she just spill the beans? Why did she always have to pause? "Go on, Colonel," AJ said, trying to stay calm.
"You know Harm's helpless, sir, so she just walked out of the hospital with him and brought him up in the woods, obviously intending to leave him there to die from hypothermia. He wouldn't have been able to walk away."
"How did you find out?"
"I had brought Harm his cell-phone earlier, to get him to practice his fine motor skills. And I was allowed to bring him some sweats as well. He kept the phone hidden in a small inside pocket, pressed a key in the hope of reaching someone and got Claire. She understood what the situation was about and went after him with Fred who managed to track the signal. They called us and we secured him. We're at the Sims' mountain cabin right now, up in the Alleghenies, hiding out with Sturgis' permission."
AJ let out an exasperated and relieved breath. "Good God, Mac, I'm glad to hear you're safe. How's Harm?"
"Much better now, sir. He's using the time to get to know his daughter." AJ could hear Mac smile and had to smile himself.
"Tell him to keep doing that. He'd just get in your way with the investigation. And he'll hardly be helpful to me in his present state." To his bewilderment, AJ heard Mac laugh out loud at his last remark. "What's so funny, Colonel?" he asked a little gruffly.
"I'm sorry, sir. But you know Harm. Actually, he was infinitely helpful to our cause yesterday night."
AJ's brow furrowed. "How's that?"
Mac was still chuckling. "You see, sir, instead of trying to figure out a way to get away from his captor, he relied on us to find him and got Cramer to confess that she killed Sydney, unaware of the fact that he recorded the confession on his cell."
AJ was speechless. Rabb's damn luck again... "Well... tell him I'm grateful, Colonel. But I order him to stay out of your way from now on. Right?"
"Understood, sir. How are you?"
"Bored."
Again Mac chuckled and AJ loved the sound. "Take care, sir," Mac said warmly.
"You do that, too, Sarah," he answered softly, "All of you. I'd like to have a family to get back to."
"You do, sir."
Wed. March 3rd 0424 ZULU Guest room The Sims' mountain cabin Allegheny Mountains, WVA
Jeannine was lying on her back, arms crossed behind her head, staring at the ceiling. Sunday she would have to go back to Long Island. It felt strange to think of the college's safe everyday-routine when you were hiding out from a lunatic killer in a deserted mountain cabin with a disabled man, a near-to-newborn baby and your boyfriend of a few weeks. How could she ever get back to her normal life after this? How could she ever get Dorrie or Cass to believe her when she told them of her break-in into a highly secured firm? Although she was sure that her friends carefully followed the events on the news, they'd never, never swallow the role she had played in the affair. And how could you go back to sleep alone when you had shared your nights with one of the most caring and tender young men alive?
Nothing intimate had happened yet between her and Sergei, and somehow Jeannine was grateful for it. Although she had the impression that she already knew him better than she'd ever known her former boyfriend, she felt that this new relationship might go beyond what she'd ever experienced and she needed time to adjust. Sergei was too shy to ever push her to anything. So, by unspoken agreement, they rejoiced in what they had and let things happen when they were due. But she had definitely gotten used to sleep in his embrace and she was going to miss that.
A rustle at her side shook her from her thoughts. Sergei switched off the lights and leaned over to her. Even in the dark she could see his smile. "Spakoynoy nochy, Yanina."
"Good night to you, too, Sergeant." She smiled and closed her eyes as she felt Sergei's head descend to kiss her. Feeling his lips shyly brush hers, she tensed and lifted her head a little to return his caress.
As he felt her respond, Sergei willed himself to refrain from embracing her tightly like he suddenly longed to. He had felt this way before, but out here, in the quiet intimacy of the mountain cabin, she seemed nearer to him than even in his own apartment. The one thing he dreaded was asking too much of her. So he just limited himself to moving closer to her, his head on her pillow, smiling at her in the dark. Suddenly adrenaline shot up high inside his body as she leaned over and kissed him again. Her kiss was soft, but determined. He tentatively wrapped his arms around her and pulled her close, never breaking the kiss.
Jeannine felt a little frightened when she noticed the passion that slowly started to build between them as their kiss grew in intensity. But on the other hand she had never felt as secure as she did right now in Sergei's arms. She sensed his hands on her back under her t-shirt, the sensation being the physical confirmation of Sergei's tender disposition. He wouldn't do anything that she didn't consent to. Her heart went out to him and she again felt fear. Not of him. Tonight, she would have gone anywhere he decided to lead. But she wasn't accustomed to feel so deeply for a man, and she wasn't ready to lose control yet. What if it didn't work out?
Sergei immediately sensed her inward tension. At once he retreated, slightly confused and concerned. "I... I'm sorry, Jan," he whispered.
Jeannine reached out and gently caressed his cheek. "There's nothing you need to be sorry for, Sergei," she said softly, "It felt wonderful to be caressed that way. I just think I'm not ready yet for more. Can you understand that?"
"Of course, and I'm sorry I pushed you." His voice was still uneasy.
Jeannine once again closed the distance and slowly, tenderly kissed him. "You didn't. I love you, Sergei. You know that, right?"
She could hear his relieved smile when he spoke. "I know. Ya tulka looblyóo, Yanina. I really do."
She sighed contently and settled down in his arms, listening to his heartbeat as she waited for sleep to come to her.
Same time The Sims' bedroom
Mac closed the door behind herself and quickly checked on the peacefully sleeping baby before she turned off the lights and slipped under the blanket beside her husband. Harm already seemed to be sleeping, lying on his right side, turning his back towards her. Mac smiled a little wryly to herself. She had hoped for a few... inspiring moments before going to sleep. But she would not disturb him now. As could have been expected, he had done everything but obey Chegwidden's order not to get involved in the investigation. First, he had insisted on questioning Casey Crane together, too curious to just sit passively by. To everyone's great relief, Casey Crane had turned out to be an expert on chemical pollution and was more than able to be a key witness.
Later on, Harm and Bud had worked out a defense strategy together. Mac was grateful that she and Fred would have a solid base to work from now, but she had scolded him for wearing himself out. And when she had finally thought that she had convinced him to quit working, he had only called Sergei and done physical exercises until he had been covered with sweat from head to toe. He had earned his rest.
Scooping close to him, she softly bade him goodnight. "Sleep well, flyboy. Sweet dreams." She reached over with her left hand in order to caress his face, but froze when she felt that his cheek was wet. And at her touch, she was shocked to hear that Harm tried to suppress a sob. Immediately she wrapped him in her arms and gently turned him to lie on his back. He barely tried to resist. Both his cheeks bore traces of tears and he squeezed his lips shut as he looked up at her in helpless grief.
Mac was shaken to the bottom of her heart. "Harm? What is it?" she asked gently, hurting to see him this desperate.
He only sniffed and turned his head to the side to avoid her kind eyes. Her compassionate glance hurt too much right now.
"Harm, talk to me," she tried again, softly kissing his cheek, tasting the salt of his tears.
"Can't," he only choked out, again trying to suppress a sob but failing.
Mac felt her own composure weaken, being completely clueless why her love was hurting. "Please, Harm, let me help you. I'm still your best friend, remember?"
"I couldn't bear losing you, Mac," he whispered, still not daring to face her.
Puzzled, Mac tightened her embrace, moving closer. "I already told you on the admiral's porch that, no matter what, you won't lose me," she answered softly, resting her forehead against his cheek. "What makes you think you will ever get rid of me, sailor?"
He drew a shaky breath, seemingly forcing himself to speak. "I might never again be the man you married, Sarah," he said, his voice uneven and strained.
At once she understood where his statement was headed. "Oh, Harm..." she only managed to whisper before her own tears made their way to the surface. She cried silently for a few moments, sharing his grief, but feeling relieved at the same time that they were facing a problem that she was sure they could overcome. He had always been strong for her. Now it was her turn. Gathering her resolve, she turned him onto his left side to face her, quickly wiping away her tears. Then she reached out and caressed away some of his tears as well. "You are all I need, Harm, and you'll always be. You returned to your normal self the moment you moved that eyelid in front of me. I can't even begin to describe what I felt then. It was as if I'd gotten back the air that I needed to breathe."
Harm closed his eyes against the fresh pain that was invading his heart at her words. "Mac, I can't bear the thought of depending so entirely on you." His voice was barely more than a whisper. "I wanted to be the one to give you the home and family you never had, and now it's you who have to provide for me and Trisha."
"Harm, I don't care!" she contradicted almost violently. "As long as I have your mind, your thoughts, your love, your support, your... your..." she stopped, agitated. Drawing a deep breath to calm down, she continued. "It's your inside that I love. And I thank God that, no matter to what degree you get your physical abilities back, He gave me back your company. You and I are going to watch our daughter grow up. Isn't that the greatest gift that we could ever get?"
Tentatively Harm reached out for her and returned her embrace. His feelings were in turmoil. Only one single thought emerged from the whirlwind that his mind had turned into: 'God, from the bottom of my heart I thank You for this woman at my side.' He held on to her for several long moments until he felt he could think straight again. And instantly part of his fear returned. She told him now that she loved him, but would she still do so in twenty years if he couldn't be what she had wanted him to be when they got married? "Maybe I'll never be able to watch out for you," he whispered, "Maybe I'll never walk my daughter down the aisle. Maybe I'll never give you another child. Maybe..." his voice went lower still, "Maybe I'll never be able to love you again, Sarah..." he let his voice trail off, not trusting it to any more words.
Mac was unable to stand his grief, it was tearing at her heart. It was so unlike Harm to give up on himself, and it scared her beyond recognition. Didn't he know by now that, even if she wanted to, she'd never be able to walk away from him? Didn't he know that her heart was tied to his in a bond that no one had ever been able to break the whole time that she had known him? Seeing him lie there, helplessly lost in his despair, she understood that she needed to prove to him that he still was the man she had married, that he hadn't changed, and that, in time, he would be everything he wanted to be for her. And she needed to prove it now. Praying for strength, she cupped his face.
"Listen to me," she said softly, trying a slight smile. "You've surprised everyone around here with your efforts to get back to normal. You managed to accomplish things that others could only dream of. Try to think back to your ramp strike. Did you get back on track that quickly back then? Tell me, did you?"
"No," he whispered, his expression unreadable. "But I didn't have you, Sarah."
'Thank you, God, he trusts me to this,' she sent another silent prayer heavenward. Softly caressing his cheeks, his forehead, his closed eyes, his lips, she went on. "Then let me help you, Harm. Let me prove to you that you are all you could ever be to me."
"How do you think you can do that?" he asked, his eyes still closed.
"Trust me," she only said as she quickly removed her nightgown. He started when he felt her tug at his t-shirt. His eyelids flew open and she could read fear in his eyes as he understood what she was planning to do, fear to fail and disappoint her.
"Mac, I can't..."
She only smiled reassuringly, disposing of his clothes and moving close to him. She cupped his face and felt him tremble as she slowly and deeply kissed him. Drawing back, she looked into his eyes, seeing that the fear had made way for hope and uneasiness that were fighting a battle inside his mind. "Trust me, Harm," she only repeated before kissing him afresh, giving a little jump of joy as she felt his trembling hands starting to shyly caress her back.
To be continued... (Feedback always appreciated!)