Author's Note: Good news/Bad news: Good news: I know where this story is going…Bad news (at least for me): It'll take a while for me to write it (I think).
Also, please forgive me if the characters sound more American than British.
An hour later, Ron and Harry had a small pile of notes to and from Oliver and Hermione. Ron tossed another note on the stack and sighed satisfactorily.
"We have enough notes here to set up the whole school," he said, grinning.
"Please don't," Harry replied wearily. He had given up writing plausible notes half an hour earlier and spent the last thirty minutes doodling on scraps of parchment. He glanced at the latest piece of paper and saw a three-headed dragon, an armored flying horse, a witch that was inflated like a balloon and someone shooting an arrow through a cloud.
"Help me put these away," Ron said as he picked up an armful of paper and dumped it in his trunk. Harry picked up one and read it.
"'Dear Hermione, What's the difference between an alligator and a crocodile? I have a test coming up and I lost my notes. Can you meet me in the library at 3:30pm next Monday?' Ron, do you really think she'll buy this?"
"Why not? It's a perfectly reasonable question. By the way, what is the difference?" Ron asked as he snatched the note and dropped it on the others in the trunk.
Instead of answering, Harry sighed resignedly and helped Ron to clean up the rest of the notes. "Which ones are you using first?"
"The first ones I wrote, of course. It's only right," Ron replied. He held up the two in question. "When Oliver gets out of the infirmary, it'll be the first thing I do."
"Okay, how are you going to get them the notes? You can't just leave them somewhere."
Ron glanced at the window, where a familiar snowy-white form was perched. Hedwig stared back at Ron, her yellow eyes unblinking. Harry stepped between his owl and his friend.
"You are not using Hedwig as your messenger," he said flatly.
"There's still Pig," Ron replied off-handedly, referring to the hyper-active little owl given to him by Harry's godfather.
The little owl zoomed up past the window, chirping loudly at the sound of his name, while Hedwig glared at him reproachfully. Ron leaned out of the window, craning his neck to see the tiny dot that was Pig.
"He'll be fine for Oliver. Hermione will recognize him if he delivers something to her," Ron commented.
Harry spoke up hesitantly, still reluctant to be a part of Ron's scheme. "What if he flies by really fast and drops it? She might not notice which owl it is."
Ron nodded thoughtfully. "I knew you'd come around to my idea sooner or later. Welcome to the Matchmaker Club, Harry." He held out his hand for Harry to shake it, but Harry avoided it as they walked down the stairs to the common room.
"No thanks, Ron. You deserve all the credit for this little plot," he said, half-sarcastic, half-serious.
"Thank you," Ron replied with equal sarcasm in his voice. "Wood should be out of the infirmary tomorrow. I'll give him a day before I drop off the first notes."
"What notes?" a voice asked.
Harry and Ron whirled around, startled. Hermione was standing behind them, looking faintly flushed.
"Um…notes," Ron answered weakly.
"For Quidditch," Harry elaborated.
Hermione nodded slowly, but her eyes still looked shrewdly at them, as if she didn't quite believe them. She shook her head slightly, dismissing the suspicion in her eyes and motioned towards the door.
"It's almost time to eat, let's go," Hermione moved impatiently to the door.
"Sure thing, Mrs. Wood," Ron muttered under his breath as he and Harry followed Hermione out of the room.
To those who think Hermione is too young for Oliver:
- Anyone seen Star Wars: Attack of the Clones? Anakin is five years younger than Padmé and he still hits on her.
- Lord of the Rings: Arwen is a couple thousand years older than Aragorn and they still marry and have kids.
- Actor Michael Douglas is older than his wife's (Catherine Zeta-Jones) father.