Anakin woke up early in the morning. He felt a weight on his chest, and smiled to himself when he felt Padmé's breath ticklin him. He moved his hands to her arms and back and caressed them while he kissed her head. Padmé mumbled something, still asleep and rolled away from her husband. Anakin smiled and moved closer to her. He wrapped his arms around her waist and placed feather kisses on her neck.
"Anakin, it's too early...", she said through her sleep. Anakin laughed and gave her a hard kiss on her cheek. Padmé frowned a little annoyed. "Come on, we only fell asleep hours ago, I'm tired", she said a little angry. Anakin's smile widened.
"Alright. Then I'll just look at you while you sleep", he said resting his head on her shoulder. Padmé turned around and dropped her head on the pillow.
"Alright, NOW I'm up. I hate when people watch me when I sleep", she said rolling her eyes. Anakin smiled and kissed her forehead.
"If only you knew how many times I've watched you sleep...", he said bringing her closer to him. Padmé rested her head on his chest and sighed.
"You are lucky I didn't know, but you've already told me".
"Oh no, now I'm dead", he said sarcastically. Padmé sighed and sat up. She wrapped a sheet around her and walked away. Anakin was confused. He sat up and spoke: "Padmé, please... I was just kiddin!". Padmé turned around and raised a brow.
"I know, I'm just going to the freshner", she said. Anakin blinked a couple of times.
"Oh...", he said confused. Padmé laughed at him.
"You are so dramatic, Anakin", she said as she walked into the freshner and closed the door. Anakin smiled to himself and dropped his head on the pillow. He entwined his fingers under his head and sighed.
He was happy because he didn't feel that he had married Padmé because he was afraid of what was to become of her. He felt that he had married her for love, because he really wanted to spend the rest of his life with her. His thoughts were interrupted by a vision presented before his eyes.
Padmé was coming outside of the freshner, with a sheet around her body and her hair falling freely over her shoulders. She gave her husband a puzzled look when she saw his expression.
"What?", she asked raising a brow and kneeling on the bed.
"You look so beautiful like that", Anakin said softly. Padmé laughed.
"Like this? Ani, I'm just wearing a white sheet and you are almost drewling...", she said smiling. Anakin blushed and lowered his head. Padmé crawled towards him and lifted his face. "I think it's very sweet. Besides, that way I don't have to get all dressed up to impress you", she said smiling.
Anakin pulled her closer and kissed her. When they broke apart, Padmé hugged him and lied next to him. there was a nice quiet moment between them, but Anakin needed to ask her something before he went insane.
"Padmé...", he started a little unsecure.
"Yes, Ani?", she asked. Anakin entwined his fingers with hers and took a deep breath.
"Did you forgive me?", he asked, afraid of her answer. Padmé lifted her head and looked at him. "Or you're still upset?". Padmé sighed heavyly and leaned on her elbow.
"Anakin, I'll be honest: I haven't forgotten about what you did to me", she paused when she saw Anakin turning his head to the wall in shame. She grabbed his chin to make him look at her. "But I still want to be with you. I'm your wife after all...", she said burrying her head on the crook of his neck. Anakin smiled warmly and tightened his embrace.
"I love you, Padmé", he said closing his eyes. Padmé smiled.
"I know".
*
That afternoon, Padmé was on the terrace watching the sunset. Anakin was inside and noticed that his wife was sad, afraid, maybe. He walked outside and placed his hands on her shoulders. Padmé gave a little jump and looked at him.
"Hey", she said smiling. Anakin smiled back and kissed her temple.
"Hey. Are you alright? You look as if something's troubling you", he said a little worried. Padmé sighed and turned to look at him.
"I can't lie to you, Anakin. I'm thinking about Tatooine and everything that happened there". At the last words, she lowered her head. Anakin wrapped his arms around her and let her cry freely on his chest.
"Don't worry, it's alright...", he started, but Padmé interrupted.
"How can you tell me that?". She released from his embrace and walked away from him. She turned around, and there it was again, that dark look that Anakin feared.
"Nothing's alright, Anakin. My mother died in my arms and I murdered her killers. And you want to know the worst part? I don't regret it. Not at all, not one little bit. In fact, I wished I would've tortured them more than I did. I regret not making them suffer enough...", she trailed off when tears beat her anger. Padmé sat on the cold marble floor and cried. Anakin rushed to her side and hugged her.
"I don't understand the way you feel, and maybe I never will. But you must know that I'll always be by your side, alright? I want you to remember that", he said softly.
"I'll need you more than ever, Anakin. I need to control myself, and I can't do it alone", she managed to say. Anakin rubbed her back and cleaned her face with his sleeve.
"Do you want to talk about it?", he asked softly. Padmé nodded. "Alright, but let's go inside, it's getting cold"
*
Padmé and Anakin were sitting on a couch in their bedroom. Padmé was really nervous, so was Anakin. Every time Padmé was going to say something, fear and shame held her back. Anakin grabbed her hand to encourage her.
"Tell me, Padmé", Anakin said. Padmé took a deep breath and started.
"Ever since I can recall, I've had two sides. There's the good side, the one that you've known for so long, and the other one, that you've recently met. I always feel these darker side haunting me, and when it's showing, I feel so powerful, as if nothing could ever beat me", she said with a dark look in her eyes. After a couple of seconds, her look softened. "But then, regret comes and I don't feel powerful anymore. I feel weak, I don't have control over anything, I fear for myself". She stopped to take a deep breath, but then she realized that there was nothing left to be said.
"Have you ever tried to control this?", Anakin asked curious. Padmé shrugged.
"When it hits me, I can't do anything to control it. I lose my mind, as I told you before, I have no control over myself".
"But Padmé, I'm sure that if you tried you could control you anger", he insisted. Padmé sighed heavyly and released her hands.
"Anakin, why do you insist on this?", she said standing up and walking towards the center of the room. "There are things that just can't happen, that can't be done", she said in a hard tone. Anakin stood up a little upset.
"How do yo know that? You are giving up before even trying to do something for yourself! You've got to try, Padmé, you will just have to!", he said. Padmé turned around very slowly to face him. She was trying to remain calmed, Anakin could tell by her hard breathing.
"You think I don't try??!!", she yelled. Anakin gave a little jump at her screaming. She was totaly out of control. "I try my best, believe me. but it's very, and I mean VERY, hard, almost impossible. Right now, I'm trying. Imagine how angry I would be if I weren't trying!!", she said still yelling.
"Padmé, I...I'm sorry", Anakin said. Padmé rolled her eyes and fisted her hands.
"Stop saying that you're sorry, you always have an excuse for everything!", she said angry. Anakin lowered his head. Padmé took a couple of deep breaths and opened her eyes. "I've been trying, Ani. Just...just give me some credit for it, alright?", she said in a soft tone. Anakin stood up and walked towards her.
"Alright, I promise", he said smiling at her. Padmé returned the smile and hugged him. Anakin kissed her temple and rubbed her back. "By the way, did I mentioned how wonderful you look today?". Padmé laughed and looked at him.
"Only five times this morning", she said smiling. Anakin raised a brow.
"Really? Well, I can't get tired of saying it". Padmé rolled her eyes and pushed him.
"Oh, I hate it when you get like that!", she said wrinkling her nose. Anakin frowned and raised his hands.
"Like what? Do explain...", he said.
"When you start to say things like that to me, all fluffy and...you know..."
"No I don't know", he said smiling.
"Yes you do!", she insisted. Anakin sighed and lowered his head. A mischievous smile appeared on his face and he looked at Padmé.
"You are as beautiful as a sunset in the lake. your hair is a waterfall of thoughts that only make me love you more by every minute that goes by...", he was interrupted by Padmé.
"No, no, no!", she said covering her ears. Anakin walked towards her and grabbed her wrists, bringing her hands down.
"And as much as I look at you, beloved, I can't get enough of your beauty, that blinds me every time I lay eyes on you", he said trying to remain serious.
"Oh, Anakin, you are so annoying. What can I do so that you stop all this fluffyness?", she asked almost pleading.
"Oh, no matter what you do, I'll never stop flattering you, beloved".
"Don't call me beloved!", Padmé said a little upset.
"Alright, my love", he smiled.
"Don't call me my love either", she said smiling.
"Fine, fine. I'll stop, Padmé", he said. Padmé sighed and hugged him. Anakin smiled and whispered something into her ear. Padmé pushed him away and left the room.
"That's it...", she said while she walked away. Anakin laughed and ran after her.
"I was just kiddin!", he yelled.
*
Later that afternoon, Padmé was sitting in the conference room trying to reach her master. She needed to talk to him, it was important for her to know what Obi-Wan thought about her marriage, and how this could help her to stay away from the dark side. She finaly reached him, and a hologram was displayed in front of her.
"Padawan, is something wrong?", Obi-Wan asked worried. Padmé shook her head. "Oh, then what is it?", he asked coldly.
"Master, I needed to talk to you about... are you alone?", she asked, remembering that Obi-Wan was at the temple. He shook his head and waved his hand, asking her to continue. "About my marriage to Anakin".
"What about that?", he asked in a hard tone.
"Master, I need to know your opinion about it, at least say something", Padmé said in a shaking tone. Obi-Wan gave an ironic laugh.
"Oh, alright, then tell me, Padmé: how's the honeymoon going? Are you looking for a new house or are you staying at the lake forever?", he said. Padmé lowered her head.
"Master, please...", she said ashamed, but Obi-Wan interrupted her.
"Oh, I must be the "Force guardian" of your first child, after all, I AM your master..." Padmé's head was burning. She was trying to control her anger, but Obi-Wan kept talking and talking, embarrassing her, making her feel stupid and childish. That was it. Enough was enough.
"Stop it!", Padmé ordered. Obi-Wan stood still, impressed by her tone. Padmé kept her hard look on him, challenging her master. she closed her eyes and took a deep breath. "I didn't call you so that you could make me feel guilty for what I've done, and I won't either, because I haven't done anything bad".
"Padmé, you broke the code. You think that's not bad enough?", he asked. Padmé rolled her eyes.
"The code, the code... is that all you can think about, master? why don't you live your life, try to be happy, for a change!".
"Padmé, the Jedi is the life I chose, and I have to live by this life's rules. And I am happy, because I'm doing what I've always wanted". He paused when he saw how Padmé lowered her head. "We are different people, Padmé. We don't have to agree in everything. You are training to be a Jedi, because you wanted to, nobody forced you". Now Padmé let out an ironic laugh.
"Really? I wanted to be a Jedi, but then, everything around me was preassure to become the greatest Jedi ever, because I had to bring balance to the Force. Now I don't know if I want that job, it isn't as exciting as it used to be, like in my first years as a Padawan". Obi-Wan sighed.
"Yes, you are right. We put a lot of preassure on your shoulders, more than the one you need. But if we do that, is because you have great potencial. Now your priorities have changed". He paused and observed Padmé. " You really love him, don't you?", he asked raising a brow. Padmé blushed and smiled.
"Yes, I do", she said shyly. Obi-Wan smiled.
"And you don't regret marrying him?". Padmé's expression torn serious and she shook her head. Obi-Wan let out a long sigh. "I see you both feel the same way". Padmé smiled widely. "I'll keep your secret from the council and everyone else, but I don't know for how long I'll be able to cover up for you two..."
"Thank you, master. I really appreciate your help", Padmé said. Obi-Wan nodded and cut off the comunications. Padmé sighed and covered her face with her hands, trying to process everything that was happening in her life that moment. She felt a couple of comforting hands on her shoulders. She smiled and leaned back.
"Are you alright?", Anakin asked after kissing her head. Padmé nodded and sighed again. She opened her eyes and looked up at Anakin.
"That was Obi-Wan, we needed to talk about you and I".
"What did he say? I hope that you didn't have an argument...", Anakin feared. Padmé shook her head.
"No, everything is alright, at least for now. He can't lie to protect us forever...", she said trailing off at the last words. Anakin nodded.
"I know". There was an awkward silence. Anakin kneeled and sourrounded Padmé with his arms. "If anything happens, we'll face it together, I promise. Everything will be fine", he said. Padmé relaxed at his last words and rested her back on his chest.
"I hope so...", she whispered.
*
Two days later.
Obi-Wan came running towards Padmé and Anakin, who were at the balcony. Padmé frowned and turned to her master.
"Master, what is it?", she asked curious. After Obi-Wan recovered his breath, he spoke.
"I can't do this anymore, I can't continue this lie", he said.
"What are you talking about?", Anakin asked confused and afraid at the same time.
"The council is suspecting about you two, I can't cover up for you, there's no use for it anymore", he said shaking his head. Padmé was suspecting something herself...
"You told them", she said in a hard tone. Obi-Wan raised a brow. "Don't give me that look, you told them!!", she said angry. She was going towards her master, but Anakin caught her by the shoulders.
"Padmé control yourself...", he said into her ear. "Let him explain", he said looking at Obi-Wan. After a while, he sighed.
"You are right, I told them". Padmé's anger grew inside of her, and Anakin could feel it. "They questioned me about your relationship, and I had to tell them the truth. I'm sorry", he said lowering his head.
"No you don't", Padmé said in a hard tone. She released from Anakin's grip and walked inside.
"I'm sorry, senator. I hope you understand..."
"It's alright, Obi-Wan. You were performing your duty", he said shaking his head. A familiar noise caught his atention. He raised his head and saw Padmé holding her lightsaber tightly in both her hands, slowly approaching her master. "Padmé, no!"