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Out of Control, Part 17

Heero carried her up the stairs to her room, cradling her gently against his chest. He had wanted her at home, despite the doctor's protests that she stay for another day, but he wouldn't hear of it. She felt so light in his arms and he realized how fragile she seemed even though she put up a front as Randy did, as Victoria did, as all the girls did to some degree. All the pressure of being the daughters of men, who had helped bring peace, was harder on them than it was on the boys. They were expected to be strong, smart, confident, and fearless. "I'm sorry," he whispered, his tone apologetic.

He looked down at her sleeping face as he walked down the hall. The lush lashes, which were a shade darker than her golden hair lay on still pallid cheeks. Her hair was pulled away from her face, although a few strands had managed to free themselves and lay against her cheeks as well. The only color on her face was the pale pinkness of her lips. He looked up at Relena as she opened the door to their daughter's room. He could see her sadness there, written on her classically beautiful features. The bed was already turned down, so all he had to do was lay her down on the soft blue sheets. Her blue plaid boxers and dark blue t-shirt stood out against it. As his wife pulled the sheets over her shoulders, he touched the back of his hand to her cheek. "Veronica," was all he said as he continued to let his fingers slide over the features of her face.

Relena watched him, a rueful smile touching her lips. She remembered him doing the same thing when Veronica had been born. The incubator had been placed in her private room and it was the middle of the night, she woke up to see him sitting in the chair as close to their newborn daughter as he could. And he was touching her features with his one finger; with an adoring smile breaching his lips and whispering words she couldn't hear. It made her heart tighten then as it made it tighten now. "Heero, we should let her rest," she said softly as she touched his shoulder.

"I know, I just…" he said, trailing off as his hand fell away from his child's features. He placed a hand over his wife's. He turned and faced her, pulling her into his arms. "I don't want anything else bad to happen to her. I don't want anything to happen to our other children or to you. God, Relena, if I lost you…if anything ever happened to you…"

Tears invaded her sapphire eyes as she held him tight. "Don't talk like that, Heero. Nothing will ever happen to me to take me away from you. You and our children are the most important things in my life. I know how you feel right now. It's helplessness and I feel it too," she said against the hollow of his neck. The tears seeped from under her lashes.

Heero could feel the wetness against his neck, making his hold even tighter. "Please don't cry, Rel. I beg you because if you fall apart, my last bit of strength will go as well. It's taking all that I have to keep myself from cracking," he murmured against her hair. He stroked her back with his hands.

With a few faint sniffs, Relena pulled herself back together again. She leaned away and looked up into his face. "I love you, Heero," she said as she smoothed her hand over his cheek.

"Love you too, Relena," he replied as he brushed away the tear trails on her ivory cheeks. "Let's give her time to rest now," he said as he pressed a light kiss on her lips and put his arm around her shoulder.

"All right," she said as she pressed a soft kiss on Veronica's forehead, before walking out of the room, with his arm wrapped protectively around her shoulder. She clutched his hand with one of hers as they walked down the hall to their room.

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For a moment, she felt disoriented as she leaned up on her elbows. Blinking her sapphire eyes several times, she was able to focus on the embroidered canopy on her bed. "I'm at home?" she mumbled as she slowly pushed herself into a reclining position. Veronica winced slightly from the dull pain in the lower half of her body. Tentatively, she ran a hand across her abdomen, closing her eyes at the contact. Tears seeped from under her lashes onto her cheeks. "Oh God," she moaned, bringing her hands up to cover her face. Tiny pricks of pain went through her as she took in a deep breath, but she calmed herself and let her hands fall away from her face. Color had come into her cheeks and lips as she wiped the few tears away.

Sniffing a little, she scooted herself to the edge of the bed, and swung her legs over the side. Knowing that she shouldn't be moving, let alone, trying to get out of the bed, she was damned and determined not to let her few aches and pains get the best of her. "I'm a Yuy for crying out loud. I can take the pain," she muttered as she reached for the carved post and pulled herself up into a standing position. Her legs felt almost too weak to support her weight, but she gritted her teeth and remained standing. A painful heat surged through her abdomen, making her clench her eyes shut as she doubled over. "Fuck this," she hissed as she pulled herself upright again. She let go of the post with one hand, only for her legs to buckle underneath her. Gravity pulled her to the floor with a thud, making the pain all the more unbearable. "DAMMIT, DAMMIT, DAMMIT!" she yelled as she pounded the floor with her fists, trying to will away the pain and fight off the tears, which were threatening to spill down her cheeks again.

The door slammed open, causing her head to snap up again. Her arms were wrapped around her abdomen, trying to alleviate the pain. She noticed her brother's strong arms pulling her up and putting her back into her bed. "Dominic, please don't help me," she whispered, her voice cracking from holding back.

"If I don't, I'll catch hell from dad. What the hell were you thinking, Veronica! You can't get out of bed for at least another twenty four hours!" Dominic snapped, afraid for not checking in on her like he had been supposed to.

"Well, I can't just lay here and do nothing!" she hollered at him, her tears starting to run unchecked down her face. "I can't!"

Closing his Prussian blue eyes, he sat down on the bed, pulling her into his arms. "I know, I know, you don't want to, but you have to. You lost too much…blood and you're too weak to stand as of yet," he said as he stroked her back. The very thought of her losing the baby, still made his own blood run cold, and when his mother had told him, it made him feel sick. It still did. "Veronica…Please…"

"I'm a Yuy and none of this pain is going to make me stay in this bed longer than I have to! I will not let this get the better of me! I'm stronger than this! I can get out of bed! I don't need help!" she shouted at him, pulling away. Her voice was wavering though and her body was shaking. "Don't make me lay here, don't make me stay here," she started to sob. The dam that had been holding back her emotions cracked and finally broke.

Gathering her closer to him, he let his little sister cry against his chest. "Just let it go. Just cry," he whispered, bending his messy chocolate hair over her golden blond. "It'll make you feel better, I promise." He had been the she came to when she cried as a little girl. It had been along time since then that she ever come to him. Victoria never really needed him to protect her, being the oldest and more like their father than he was. She was almost too self efficient. Veronica being the youngest needed him, for only three years separated them.

Great gulping sobs, muffled by her brother's shirt, tore from Veronica's lips. Her fingers tightened and twisted the material on his back as her arms went around him.

"That's a girl, let it all go," he whispered as he rubbed her back in small circles. At the moment, this was all he knew he could do for her. He felt her grip on his shirt tighten more. Toeing his shoes off, he swung his legs up onto the bed and tucked her more securely against his chest. The pain filled sobs of hers was breaking his heart because there was nothing he could do to stop the pain. "It's going to be all right soon. I promise," he murmured against her hair.

"It's not," she replied, her voice raw as she lifted her head away from him. "It's never going to be all right for me again. I lost Randy because I flew off the handle at her…and I lost him, Vaughn will be lost to me forever…I…I…I lost…a baby," she said, the pitch and volume of her voice rising with each passing sentence.

Recognizing that she was going to be hysterical in a minute, Dominic shook his head. "Please, calm down some, Ver. He reached behind him and groped for the pain medication left by the doctor. He would hate having to make her take it, but if it knocked her out for a few hours, it would be worth it. Touching her cheek with his other hand, he started to calm her with his voice. Her face was shiny and wet from her tears, as well as being red and blotchy. A slight smile crossed his lips. "You're face looks like a strawberry, Ver."

Feminine vanity asserted itself for a minute as she brought up both hands to her face. They were hot to the touch and they felt sticky too. "A strawberry?" she asked, her eyes meeting his.

"Definitely," he said, his smile growing broader.

Veronica couldn't help but let a smile crease her lips as well. She knew what he was doing and it was sweet of him to do so. Dominic had always been like that. His concern was mirrored in his Prussian blue eyes, despite his smile. She knew he was worried. He was very much like their mother in that capacity. "Thank you."

"You're welcome," Dominic replied as he pressed a kiss on her forehead. "Now, I want you to go back to sleep. You need you're rest."

With a frown, she shook her head. "Dominic, I don't want to stay in bed. I don't want to be left alone."

"You won't be alone. I'll stay in the room with you if you want, but you have to go back to sleep for me. It will make you feel better and I also want you to take the pain medication the doctor sent home for you."

"I'm fine, I don't need it."

"Veronica, I know you're in pain. You're trying not to flinch. Take it."

"I'm a Yuy. I can handle the damn pain."

"I'm a Yuy too, but we aren't immune to pain. We aren't indestructible," he said in a stern voice. "I want you to take it and I'm sure dad would back me up on it too. Now take it like a good girl."

Veronica passed him a glare to rival their father's. "Dominic…"

Dominic returned the look. "Don't be stubborn. Take it."

Giving him another frosty look, she took the medication out of his outstretched hand, muttering under her breath in Japanese. "There. Happy, now?" she asked as she took a gulp of water from the glass on her bedside table.

"Yes, thank you." The unyielding look on his face melted away to another soft smile. "I only want you to feel better, Ver. It's important to me that you be ok."

She sighed and nodded her head, letting her chin rest against her chest. "I know you do. I don't mean to be difficult…but…"

Shaking his head, he pressed a finger against her lips. "You don't have to say anymore. Just go to sleep. You'll feel better when you wake up again," he said as he slid off the bed. He tugged the sheets back over her before kneeling down by the side of the bed. He propped his chin up on his hands as she turned her head to look at him. He gave her hand a brief tight squeeze. "I'll be sitting on the couch. Call me if you need anything and please do not, and I mean do not try to leave the bed again. If you want to go downstairs later, I'll carry you,"

Veronica smiled at him as she let go of his hand. "I understand," she said as she folded both of her hands over her stomach and snuggling under the covers that he drew over her chest. The medication was working fast as she felt her eyes getting heavy. "Man, that works pretty fast" she thought as they began to drift closed. An image of someone's face flickered on the back of her lids. "Vaughn. I need you." It was her last conscious thought before she finally fell under the spell of the painkiller.

Dominic sighed as he stood, listening to her slow and steady breathing. He walked over to the loveseat on the other side of the room and plopped down. He leaned his head against the back and closed his eyes. When he heard that thud earlier, he went into a panic. Seeing her on the floor with her arms wrapped around her to ward off the pain, struck more fear into him. "She could've started bleeding again from just standing, let alone her falling onto the floor like that. There's so little I can do for her. She needs Vaughn, whether or not she wants to admit it, but dad won't let him near her because of what he did. At the same time, her psyche is going to be all screwed up. She needs him because she loves him and vice versa." He glanced over at the bed again, watching his little sister sleep quietly. "I hope you feel better soon, Ver," he whispered as he swung his legs up on the couch and closed his eyes as well for a much needed nap.

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Vaughn pressed his hands against his temples as the dull buzzing in his head persisted. He had found out from his father that Veronica had come home today. He wanted to run over there. His heart was telling him that she needed him. "But Heero," he said to himself as he studied the paperwork spread in front of him on the kitchen table. His brother sat across from him, his hair a tousled mess as he wrote something down before going back to his laptop to consult. Vision blurred for the third time that hour, making him drop his pen on the table with a clatter. "Dammit, I can't do this with my head feeling like there's someone drilling inside of it!"

Damien raised his eyes towards his brother. "Live with it. I do all the time. Vaughn, we need to get this work done. The board meets on Tuesday."

"Yeah, yeah, I know, but this isn't helping me. I should be there with her!" He leaned back in his chair and stared at the ceiling. He dropped his eyes towards his brother again. "And how about you? Talk to Angie lately about your monumental screw up?"

With an icy glare, Damien pointed the end of his pencil at his brother. "Until you get you're love life straightened out, stay the hell out of mine," he snapped. "And yes, you should be there with her, but you had to go and get into that mess with Randy. You know Veronica isn't that forgiving."

"No shit! I know I made a mistake, but I'm not going to keep on apologizing for something I did when I was sixteen years old. Randy and I got carried away that one time, but that's it. I already made my explanations to Donavon, who promptly broke my nose for me, if you hadn't noticed," Vaughn retorted, pointing at his nose and the dark circles under his amethyst eyes. "I explained it to Heero and dad. I don't think I have to do anything more about it!"

"Don't get pissed at me because you screwed up!"

"Oh, like you didn't go and shoot yourself in the foot either. You hurt Angie because you're a friggin' idiot when it comes to Miss Bitch, Claudia. May I remind you, she ripped your heart out and handed it back to you on a silver platter!"

"Go to hell."

"I'm already there, and so are you."

Damien snapped his mouth shut and started bending the pencil between his clenched fists. It splintered with a faint crack. "Angelina didn't…"

"That's bullshit. You put yourself in your own hell and put her in one too. I've been in hell for the past week. So, you have no idea what I've been going through. I feel everything she is and it's driving me insane. If you don't like it, you can fuck off!" Vaughn growled as he fought the urge to smack his brother. He tore his eyes away from his brother's murderous look and looked back down at the typed work in front of him. It was last quarter's summery report. "And if you had balls you would go and immediately apologize to Angie and maybe she'll forgive you for being an asshole."

A muscle in Damien's cheek twitched from his brother's words. "Don't go and forget that I'm not the only asshole sitting at this table. You dug yourself into your own grave where Veronica is concerned. You'll be lucky that she'll even talk to you, let alone seeing you," he said through clenched teeth.

Vaughn shot his eyes up to the frozen aquamarine eyes in front of him. His brother was pegging his deepest fear. He knew Veronica not to be very forgiving and there was no telling how long she could hold a grudge towards him or even Randy. But he loved her and there would be nothing he wouldn't do to soften towards him. He would grovel on his hands and knees if he had to. "I know that," he said, the anger gone from his voice. "Don't think that I don't. I do know that there's a strong possibility for her not forgiving me anytime soon, but I love her. And I would do anything, and I mean anything just for her to talk to me again," he said, his tone rueful. "You have it much easier with Angelina right now. Your apology will be much briefer and she tends to be a little more merciful. I also suggest if you want her, stop denying it. And by the way, if you want to butter her up a little, her favorite flowers are yellow jonquils. "

Somewhat shocked by the change in his brother's tone, his own rage, also left him. He sighed and dropped his broken pencil on the pile of papers in front of him. "Flowers, huh? They might be better than me talking since that's where I mess it up. I don't have a way with any woman. I tend to ruin my chances by talking. It's better if I keep my mouth shut."

"If you keep it shut, you won't be able to tell her what you have to say. Just choose your words more carefully, Damien."

"If you say so," Damien replied as he gazed back at the screen of his laptop. "We should get back to work. I don't want to be up all night doing this."

"Fine with me," Vaughn agreed as he looked back down at the reports in front of him. He sighed and started penning the items that he would have to go over at the meeting on Tuesday. He could feel her. He had become so attuned to her, that the slightest bit of pain from her would send a tremor through him. It had become his own way of punishing himself; by leaving himself open to her emotions. Right now, she seemed to be calm. It made the buzzing feeling in his brain lessen a bit. He sighed as he continued to flip through the reports. Glancing away from them for a moment, he concentrated on her again, trying to reach her. He didn't know if it had worked the last time. "I'm sorry, Veronica. I want you to know that. I love you."

Veronica's brow wrinkled slightly as she slept. She could hear that voice again. It was not as weak as the other time. It made warmth steal through her. A smile touched her lips as she heard the "I love you." "Is it Vaughn? I didn't think he was this powerful. I know Quatre's been said to do it, but Vaughn? How I wish that were true? But whoever it is, thank you for your kindness." A soft smile found her lips as she continued to sleep.

A ripple of emotion went through him. It was Veronica. "Maybe she heard? I hope so," he thought as a remorseful smile touched his lips.

A/N: Well, what do you think? Please let me know! More coming soon! XOXO!!