Disclaimer: See previous chapter. Same disclaimers apply. Add only the fact that we don't own any of the Monkey Island games either. Natsu no E is sung by Miki Fujitani and Mayo Suzukaze.

Bluejay: Due to insistent demand, here's another episode of Whose Line is it Anyway?, the Rurouni Kenshin version.

Onna: I HAVE TO MAKE UP MORE LYRICS?!?!?!?!

Bluejay: Yes, you do. Now make some!

Onna: *looks around for lyric thieves* No one? Good!

***

The theme music played as Bluejay's voice rang through the speakers. "Good afternoon everybody! Today, quiet you, Himura Kenshin! Why hello there, Kamiya Kaoru! Murray? Sagara Sanosuke! And mighty pirate, Hiko Seijuro! I'm your host, Bluejay Sylver. Let's go down and have some fun!"

She climbed down the audience steps and went straight to her desk. "Hello and welcome to Whose Line is it Anyway?, the Rurouni Kenshin version, the show where everything's made up and the points don't matter. Eeyup. The points are just like a 'How to Write Comedy' to my crazed cousin Liv. She doesn't need them! She's already insane!"

Puzzled silence greeted her statement.

"I take it you've never met my cousin." She muttered. "Anyway, if you've never seen the show before, what we're going to do is these four are going to act out scenes, right out of the top of their heads and at the end of the show, we're going to pick a winner. And the winner will do something special. Now, let's start with a game called Weird Newscasters! This is for all four of you. Hiko, you're going to be the anchor of a news program and your co-anchor is Kaoru. Kaoru, you've just discovered that the stage is full of rats."

Her eyes were ping pong balls as she stared disbelievingly at Bluejay.

"It's a pretend show other than an improv show." She told Kaoru. "Now Kenshin, you're doing the sports. You're doing it as an exterminator. And Sano, you're doing the weather as a…" She snickered as she read the card. "You're a talking weather rooster!"

The audience laughed and cheered as Sano stalked up to Bluejay's desk.

"Sorry, it's what it says on the card, see?" Bluejay showed Sano the card. Sano muttered curses under his breath and stalked back to his assigned spot. "Anyway, whenever you hear the music, go ahead."

News theme music played as the four contestants settled in their places.

Hiko looked indifferently at the audience as he began. "Good afternoon, I'm Mostgoodlooking Hitenmitsurugimaster."

Bluejay snorted in laughter while Kenshin really looked like he wanted to be somewhere else.

"Our top story today, Enishi still hasn't completed his jinchuu." Hiko paused, his face still composed. "Let's go on to my co-anchor, Bakadeshi's Woman."

"Konnichiwa!" Kaoru greeted cheerfully. "We've got some…" She froze suddenly, as though she heard something. "Is that a rat?"

"I don't-"

She sprang onto her stool, clutching the hem of her kimono. "Rats! Rats! The whole stage is full of rats!"

"There aren't any-"

"They're everywhere! They're everywhere on the stage!"

Hiko turned back to the audience, a weary expression on his face. "While my co-anchor is hallucinating, it's time for some sports with Overlybaka Deshi."

"Shishou!" Kenshin protested before facing the audience. "Today on sports, Sessha is happy to say that Torumaro has just won the National Sumo Wrestling Title." He bends down, and pretends to spray poison on the imaginary rats. But as he neared Kaoru, he accidentally bumped her stool.

"Kenshin no baka!" Kaoru shrieked, trying to regain her balance.

"Oro?! Kaoru-dono!" Kenshin raised his arms and caught Kaoru as she fell.

Hiko looked disgusted and turned his head away. "Let's go on to the weather with Chicken Joy."

Sano glared at Hiko as he stiffly faced an imaginary board behind him. "Clouds moving in over Kyoto. Very strong wind…" He turned to his right stiffly. "…from the east. Now shifting…" He turned stiffly towards the audience. "…to the south. Back to you, Mostgoodlooking."

"And don't you forget that." Hiko replied, arrogantly jerking his chin upwards. "That's all the news we have today. Join us again at sundown for more."

The ending news music played and Bluejay tapped some cards. "That was great. A thousand points to Sano for being such a sport."

" 'A thousand?'" Sano retorted. "You little punk-!"

"Two thousand." Bluejay corrected. "Fine, take five thousand."

"That's better." He settled in his seat.

"But the points don't matter anyway. Let's move on to a game called Duet! This is for Kenshin and Kaoru-"

The were hoots and whistles from the audience as the two of them moved to the center stage.

"Ah heck you're quite popular out here." Bluejay said, shuffling some cards. "Anyway, Kenshin and Kaoru are going to be singing a song in a style that I'm going to give them. And they're going to be joined by Teien Onna and Hyouzan-sama! Give it up for our talented lovebirds!"

The audience clapped and cheered as Onna scowled at Bluejay, her fists on her waist.

Bluejay continued as if nothing happened. "Now what I need from the audience is a suggestion of a common household appliance."

There were shouts from the audience and Bluejay tried to jot them down. "Computer…Hair dryer…Oven toaster. That sounds interesting. Okay." She looked up at Kenshin and Kaoru. "So, you're going to be singing a song about an oven toaster in the style of 'Natsu no E.' Whenever you hear the music, take it away."

Onna and Hyouzan played the beginnings of Natsu no E's tune as Kenshin sang.

"Ah... a lovely morning, some breakfast will be nice
Time to cook, make some breakfast, but what's this that I see?"

He was then joined by Kaoru, blending her voice with his.

"Some strange object, whatever that is."

Then it was Kenshin again.

"With knobs and buttons, and oro! It's hot."

Kaoru joined him once more.

"Don't you touch it, may be dangerous
Better watch to see if it would do anything strange."

They sang the chorus together as the music reached its climax.

"It's an oven toaster, but I've never seen such a weird-looking thing."

Kaoru fell silent as Kenshin sang.

"Sessha wonders what it is for, other than to burn my finger."

Kaoru joined him.

"Such strange inventions that come from the place that we all know as the West."

And Kenshin fell silent.

"I wonder just what it's made for.

"Ah... that crazy thing is just lying there
I wonder what it does, when you try to place some food in it."

They sang together again.

"Use some seafood, or some bread."

Kaoru added her line.

"Then push some buttons and just turn the knob."

Kenshin joined Kaoru again, his embarrassment at the stupidity of the lyrics obvious.

"It made some weird sounds, gosh it was scary
Then it rang and some strange food came out of it.

"It's an oven toaster, but I've never seen such a weird-looking thing."

Kaoru rolled her eyes, flushing fiercely.

"But it makes somes real good food, hey this ain't so bad after all."

Kenshin's face looked pained as he sang with her again.

"Such strange inventions that come from the place that we all know as the West."

Kenshin's cheeks started to rival his hair in color, wincing.

"Sessha must say that it tastes quite nicely."

Onna and Hyouzan went into the instrumental, both snickering.

Kenshin and Kaoru brought microphones to their mouths again, hardly looking at each other.

"It's an oven toaster, but I've never seen such a weird-looking thing."

A large sweatdrop appeared on Kenshin's head as he watched Kaoru glare at Yahiko, who was snickering in the audience.

"Sessha wonders what it is for, other than to burn my finger."

Kaoru's voice joined his again, singing the final lines.

"Such strange inventions that come from the place that we all know as the West
I wonder just what it's made for."

The music faded and the two of them returned to their seats, both red from embarrassment. Bluejay shuffled her cards. "Hey, I wonder too, sometimes. Five hundred points to whoever tells me what an oven toaster is for. And in the meantime, we'll do a game called, Whose Line! This is for Sano and Kenshin."

She held out strips of paper to the two of them. "We asked the audience to give us some random lines before the show and we picked the best ones. Now Sano and Kenshin have never seen those lines before." Sano slipped his lines in his belt while Kenshin hid his in his pocket. "And they're going to act out a scene having to use those two lines. And the scene is," Bluejay read one of her cards and laughed. "The scene is, Aoshi, who will be played by Sano, is attempting to propose to Misao, who will be Kenshin."

"Oro?!"

"He looks like a girl anyway." Hiko called.

"Shishou!"

Bluejay laughed. "Whenever you're ready, Sano and Kenshin, go ahead."

"Aoshi-sama!" Kenshin called happily.

Sano kept his face serious. "Misao. You've grown into a fine young woman."

"Arigatou, Aoshi-sama." Kenshin pretended to be coy.

"Listen, I have…something I want to ask you."

"Nanda?"

"It's something…I've been wanting to ask you for a long time."

"What is it?" Kenshin pretended to look hopeful.

Sano slipped one of his lines out and read it. "'Get me my mint toothpaste.'"

"Nani?!"

"I just had Spicy Japanese Turnips. My breath stinks."

"Hai, hai." Kenshin pretended to get his mint toothpaste. "Here you are."

"Arigatou." Sano turned around and pretended to brush his teeth. When he was finished, he turned back to Kenshin. "Where were we?"

"You were going to ask me something."

"Oh, right. I-"

"Wait." Kenshin interrupted. "Before you ask, there's something I wanted to say to you too."

"Oh? And what's that?"

"It's something that's been going around in my mind for a long time." Kenshin took out one of his lines and read it. "'Your pants are too tight.'"

Sano looked down at his pants. "Is it?"

"Hai."

"They probably shrunk in the laundry. No wonder I'm having a hard time sitting." Sano shrugged. "But enough about me. I still haven't asked you that question."

"What question?"

"This." Sano pulled out his last line and read it. "'Rats, somebody ate my cheese bread.'"

"Hey!" Kenshin scowled at Sano. "What is it with you and food?"

"Sorry. I was just trying to think of a right way to say this." He hesitated before continuing. "Misao, I want you to be my wife."

"Aoshi-sama!" Kenshin gasped. "This is so sudden!"

"Just tell me your answer, whatever it may be. I want to know if you will agree…or not."

"Hai, I will answer you. I've been waiting for you to ask this ever since I grew up." Kenshin pulled out his last line and read it. "'I want my ducky.'"

Bluejay pressed her buzzer, laughing so hard tears were coming out of her eyes. "Oh my gosh, I didn't know Misao had a ducky."

"Hey!" Misao's voice shouted from the audience.

"Anyway, a thousand points…no wait. A million points to Sano and Kenshin for whatever they did."

"Sumanu, Misao-dono." Kenshin said, his face red. "Sessha is very embarrassed de gozaru."

"We're not done yet, oro-boy. Let's all move on to a game called, Irish Drinking Song! This is for all four of you with the help of Teien Onna and Hyouzan-sama! Now what they're going to do, is sing an Irish drinking song and they're going to do it one line at a time. And what they're going to sing about is," she read one of her cards. "Himura Kenshin!"

"Oro?!"

"It's the 'Kenshin' Irish Drinking Song! Take it away!"

The music started as all four of them began singing together.

"Ohh, hidee didee didee didee didee didee di!"

Kaoru began singing, followed by Kenshin, Sano and Hiko.

"A place was known as the Kamiya dojo."

"Where students once ran and trained."

"And moochers come here like bees."

"While my baka deshi acts as housekeeper."

"I think he's a sweet, though dense, rurouni."

"Sessha protects Kaoru if he has to."

"He can be dense, and slow with women."

"Don't look at me, I never taught him that."

It was the chorus again, with the order switching from Kenshin to Kaoru this time.

"Ohh hidee didee didee didee didee didee di!"

"I wonder what she thinks as she trains that boy."

"Especially when a certain fox flirts."

"Other than that darn "oro" to make her day."

"I wonder if he even knows I'm alive."

"I see her walk around, wearing such lovely apparel."

"Of course, Jou-chan gets pissed at his lack of reaction."

"That baka won't do anything even if she were naked."

"I'd rather have him beside me than be my wallpaper."

Another chorus and the order switched again from Sano to Kenshin.

"Ohh hidee didee didee didee didee didee di!"

"It took me hours to pry him off that wall."

"I can't believe that baka deshi let her hit him."

"I might as well give up and let that fox have him."

"Oro, but I only want Kaoru de gozaru."

"He'd better, 'cause that fox is mine."

"And baka deshi has an equally baka friend."

"Makes me wonder how he actually became Battousai."

"Better keep the other me under wraps or else."

A final chorus as they switched the order for the last time from Hiko to Sano.

"Ohh hidee didee didee didee didee didee di!"

"So I smashed my sake jug on his thick head."

"That caused an uproar, and a loud 'Oro!'"

"Sessha stayed in bed, nursed by Kaoru-dono."

"And I get to have the fox to myself."

"The mush was choking me, so I left."

"Kenshin was an angel of a patient."

"As long as it's Kaoru, I wouldn't mind."

"So long as Megumi stays away for a mile."

"Ohh hidee didee didee didee didee didee di!

Ohh hidee didee didee didee didee didee di...!"

Bluejay chuckled as they started going back to their seats. "Oh that was interesting. You know, these are people living in a country who probably wouldn't have heard much about Ireland or an Irish drinking song, for that matter." She shrugged her shoulders. "Thank goodness for crash courses on Irish drinking songs."

She tapped her cards and continued. "Next in line is everyone's favourite game, Hoedown! With Teien Onna and Hyouzan-sama!"

The audience cheered and hooted.

"Now what I need from the audience is a suggestion of something that would keep you awake at night."

Numerous voices shouted from the audience. "Rats!" "Robbers!" "Thunderstorm!" "Missing futons!"

"Missing futons, I like that!" Bluejay quickly jotted it down. "So, it's the 'Missing Futon' Hoedown! Take it away!"

Onna started the piano introduction as Hyouzan joined with an accompanying tune.

Hiko waited for the cue to begin and sang.

"I was drinking my sake, thinking so deep

Before turning to my cabin to get ready for sleep

Only to find to my horror, the worst thing happened

Someone broke into my cabin and stole my futon!"

Kaoru let the music play onwards and sang on her turn.

"That little punk dared to run to Tokyo

Running the rurouni down as he went "Oro"

We thought no more, and headed back home

And found that our futons were as good as gone!"

Kenshin glanced at Kaoru as he waited for his turn.

"Everyone knows how violent Kaoru-dono can be

And two days without sleep will really take her toll on me

Only one thing to do, out of sheer desperation

Find that thief and kill him with a battalion."

Finally, it was Sano's turn to sing.

"So a manhunt went on, like fire when fanned

Then we found out the thief was Yahiko-chan

He was sick of his thin futon that Jou-chan provided

Certainly explains his busu-ing, boy he'll be dead."

And they all chorused energetically. "Boy, he'll be deeeaaadd…!"

"Chan ja ne yo!!!" Yahiko's outraged shout could clearly be heard over the fading music.

"Boy that was great." Bluejay remarked as she started to stand. "A thousand points to all of you. And now, it's time to announce the winner! Today, it's oro-boy, Kenshin!"

"Oro?"

"Yeah. Kenshin gets to sit down behind my beautiful desk and do nothing while Sano, Hiko and I will be doing a 90-Second Alphabet!"

Kaoru returned to her seat and Kenshin and Bluejay switched places. Bluejay began explaining to the audience. "What we're going to do is we're going to act out a scene with sentences starting with each letter of the alphabet. Kenshin will be timing us, 'cause we have to do this in only ninety seconds. Now, I need a letter from the audience."

"P!"

"I heard a P. So we'll start with P. Kenshin, what's our scene?"

Kenshin read from a card. "You are in a supermarket that's being robbed, de gozaru. Timer starts now."

Bluejay winced and faced the others. "Press the orange for a bit. I want to know if it's ripe."

"Quiet, quiet." Sano told her. "I think I hear something."

"Robbers." Hiko declared. "They're trying to hold up the store."

"S-S-Sacre bleau!" Bluejay cried. "How many are there?"

"Ten." Sano snorted. "I can take 'em."

"Until you realize that they're not all in one group." Hiko pointed out. "Some of them have separated."

"Vase! Throw a vase as a distraction!" Bluejay suggested.

"Will that help?" asked Sano.

"Xylophones would sound better." Hiko shrugged.

Bluejay pretended to grab a xylophone and hurled it. "Zutalow, I have missed him!"

"A crack shot I thought you were."

"Best leave the situation to us then." Sano cracked his knuckles.

"Can't we just avoid them?" Bluejay asked.

"Dumb wish." Sano grinned and crouched into a fighting position.

"Escape is something these robbers will want." Hiko indifferently took position beside Sano.

"Futae no Kiwame!" Sano shouted and pretended to punch the living lights out of someone.

"Geez! Watch where you're sending the guy!" Bluejay said, ducking.

"How can he? He's just as baka as my baka deshi." Hiko remarked.

"Idiot? I thought he was a rooster."

"'Jay-chan, you're asking for trouble." Sano retorted.

"'Kay. I'll just sit here and do nothing then."

"Lots of good that will do when you've got a gun pointed at you." Hiko said.

"Me?!" Bluejay quickly jumped to one side.

"Now, say good night punk." Sano flung an imaginary robber away.

"Oh how very impressive, Tori-atama." Hiko said dryly.

"P-P-Perhaps he should've thrown it higher?" Bluejay asked at the same time Kenshin buzzed them out.

"Yeah! We did it! In the nick of time!" Bluejay pumped her fist in the air and started going back to her desk. "Now, we're going to end the show with Kaoru doing the credits for us. Kaoru, you'll be reading the credits while you're beating up on Yahiko. Goodbye, folks! We'll see you if we see you."

Kaoru stood at the center of the stage and started commanding. "Yahiko! I want you to do your exercises a thousand times! Bluejay Sylver, Teien Onna, and Hyouzan-sama! Get to work! Jason M. Lee and Tan Kimiko have already reviewed! Liv and Nikki have also given their suggestions! Yahiko-chan! I told you to clean the dojo ten times! Thank Marstanuki for your trouble! Nips, Pyro Nynja! You've got your requests coming!"