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Out of Control, Part 18

Vaughn cleared his throat awkwardly as he stood behind his father on the Yuy porch. In his sweating palms was a bouquet of lilies of the valley with Veronica roses. He had searched for those roses because of their name and paid an astronomical fee just to get them. They were a creamy white to go with the lilies. Two days had passed since she had returned from the hospital and it had taken most of his courage to go with his father today to see her. The door swung open, startling him. He found implacable Prussian blue eyes of Heero pinned on him. "Heero," he said, forcing himself not to flinch or stutter.

Quatre gave his friend a solemn smile. "Heero," he said, meeting the Prussian blue eyes.

"Come in," Heero replied, his gaze flickering back to Vaughn, who looked highly uncomfortable and somewhat pale. He closed the door behind him and went to stand in front of Quatre. "What brings you here?"

"I wanted to see how Veronica is doing," Quatre replied. He noticed the looks that were getting sent his son's way. "And Vaughn would like to see her." He studied his friend with a critical eye, swiftly noting that he looked tired and upset from the recent events. "And how have you been?" he asked Heero, not really needing an answer, having already assessed the other man's emotions in advance.

"Like you would need to ask, Quatre," Heero replied with a snort, before letting out a long sigh. "I've had easier days, let me put it that way." His eyes left the clear aquamarine ones to center back on the amethyst ones. "How have you been feeling, Vaughn?"

"Been better," Vaughn replied as remained unblinking in front of him. Chills were running down his back and his heart was thundering in his ears.  He raked his teeth across his lips before speaking again. "I know you don't want me here to see her, but I feel that I need to be here with her. I know what's going on inside her. I've felt it from that first moment. She needs me. I can feel that. I don't want to make her upset, I just want to be able to give her these and just see her."

Heero regarded Vaughn carefully. The boy's request sounded innocent enough and he had that look in his eyes. That hopeless look that told every thing. "She's sleeping right now, but you can go up and see her, but don't wake her" he finally replied. He looked back at Quatre. "I need to talk to you."

"Sure," Quatre answered with a nod. He looked over at his son. "Go on and see her. Its what you came here for."

Somewhat shocked by Heero's answer, he shook his head and started up the polished hardwood steps. He felt the older man's eyes on the center of his back as he made his way up. His mouth suddenly felt dry. He didn't know how he was going to be able to get through this. His insides were taking a brutal beating from the intense onslaught of emotions he had been feeling the past few days. He walked slowly down the hall of the Yuy wing and to the deep cherry door of Veronica's room. The brass handle beckoned him and with a slight twist of his wrist, turned it, pushing the door open and stepping into the spacious bedroom. Not wanting to wake her, he closed the door silently behind him. From his spot by the door, he just stood there and stared at the bed where she lay. Several more footsteps put him by the side of the bed. His heart ached as he looked down at her. Her rich gold hair was pulled away from her face to pool on the crisp pillowcase. Strands clung to the side of her slender neck and her cheeks. Her one palm was lying next to her head on the pillow, palm up with her fingers curving inwards. Those soft rosy lips were parted ever so slightly as she breathed and her dark lashes lay like crescents against her pale pink tinged skin. "Her color isn't so good," he realized as he scrutinized her.

Laying down the bouquet on the bedside table, he sat gingerly on the side of the bed. The velvety blue down comforter was drawn up over her rising and falling chest and the snowy white blanket peeked above it, just under her other hand. Her slender ringless fingers were entwined with it. Dappled sunlight spilled across the lower half of the bed from the partly open French doors. The gauzy curtains waved a bit with each puff of the wind. Some of the light reached the top of the bed, touching on her hair, making it gleam. She looked so beautiful. "Just like an angel," he whispered as he lifted his hand towards her face. He paused when she shifted her position, but when she resettled herself back into it, he continued to reach towards her face. He gently cupped her cheek with his hand, his thumb stroking her chin. Her skin felt like warm satin.

Veronica could felt warmth against her face. She turned her head towards it, settling her cheek against it.

He blinked his eyes when she turned her head in his hand, worried that he might have woken her up. Letting out a sigh of relief, he continued to stroke her face and just look at her. How he wanted to take her in his arms. "I should've been here for her and maybe none of this would've happened to her. I feel like this is my fault. Ver, I'm so sorry this had to happen to you. I'm sorry for everything. You have to know that I would never ever intentionally hurt you and I'm sorry that you saw Randy and me like that. I would like to make it up to you someday, somehow. I would like it if you saw how much I love you. I've had a crush on you since I was thirteen, but you never saw me that way and I left it alone," he murmured as he brushed his thumb across her lips. "But I want you to know now, how much I care about you. About how much I do love you."

She could hear someone's voice, but it sounded so faint, that she figured it to be just a dream. She continued her slumber, keeping her skin against the healing warmth against her face.

"There's nothing I wouldn't do for you and if I could take away all the pain you've experienced these past few days, I would. I can feel it and it's part of my punishment, my hell for hurting you the way that I did. I know, that you know, deep down, what Randy and I were doing was just joking around and that we've always been like that. I could tell how worried you were that day I got into the fight with Bobby and you were justifiably upset. I don't blame you because you were pregnant and prone to the mood swings. I don't blame you at all," he sighed as he bent his head over hers, so that his face was just inches away, "I just wanted to be here to tell you that I love you," he breathed as he brushed a tender kiss against her parted lips. He stood up then and looked down at her, a rueful smile ghosting his lips. "Get well soon, Ver," he said as he slowly walked away and out the door. Once the door was closed behind him, he let out a deep breath and rolled his head against the wood. Feeling better, he leaned away from the door and walked down the hall.

Veronica frowned from the loss of heat against her. This time, her lashes fluttered and her eyes peeked open. Leaning up on her elbows, she scanned her room. "I thought I heard someone talking," she wondered aloud. Then she noticed the magnificent bouquet on her nightstand. "Oh, how beautiful," she whispered as she picked them up and sniffed them. The heavenly scent filled her nostrils. The pale pink ribbon tying them had a small card on it. All that was written on it was her name in a heart. She scrunched up her nose and studied the handwriting, trying to figure out whose it was. "I know this writing. Whose is it?" The name eluded her and she sighed setting them back on her nightstand. She glanced over towards the loveseat on the other side of her room. "Dominic," she called out.

Dominic sat up and glanced over at her. "Yes, you called, madam?" he asked, grinning.

"Yes, could you get me a vase for these flowers. And when you come back, could you put them right next to the bed. They are so incredibly lovely and smell so nice, I would like to have them near by," she replied with a laugh. "I don't even know who they're from, but they had good taste."

He frowned inwardly. He knew. He had heard, but he wasn't going to tell her. With another smile, he got up and picked up the bouquet. "Yeah, they had good taste," he agreed as he looked at them. "Winner certainly went all out on these. This is easily a two hundred-credit bouquet and those roses are something I've never seen before. I've never heard him like that before. He's so in love with her just like Donavon is with Randy, like I am with Morgan. But I'm just as much coward as he is because I've never admitted that I had a crush on her when she was dating Jonathon and still do." "I'll be right back with a container for these," he said as he left the room with them. As the door closed behind him, a deep sigh escaped his lips. "You better come back and say it to her face to face, Winner, or else there will be hell to pay."

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In the library downstairs, Quatre glanced at Heero out of the corner of his eye as they both stood in front of the massive fireplace. He looked back at the pictures gracing the mantle. The middle portrait was of both families together. On one side of it was a picture of Relena and Heero's wedding portrait. She looked like the princess that she had been born in that wedding dress and he looked stoic as usual, except for the slightest tilt to the corner of his mouth. The picture on the other side was of Zechs and Noin. She was in a simple elegant cream suit with a joyful smile on her lips and he was dignified looking in the dark blue suit with an adoring smile on his as he looked at her. Quatre returned his eyes to his friend. "What did you want to talk to me about, Heero?"

Heero glanced away from the pictures and looked over at the blond. "It's about Veronica. The doctor instructed me to get her a therapist because of the…miscarriage," he replied, almost choking on the last word. "He said that she would need one because it's a traumatic experience."

A platinum blond brow arched at the other man's words. He had caught the way that he had stumbled over the word "miscarriage." He didn't like that word either; it brought back painful memories from Catherine's miscarriage between Vaughn and Mira. Shaking his head, he rid himself of them and tapped his fingers on the intricately carved wood. "What do you need me to do?" he asked.

"I want you to be the one for her to talk to. I trust you, Quatre. Maybe being an empath, you could help her better than a normal doctor would. I don't know what more I can do to help her. I couldn't even protect her from this…" he said as he raked his hands through his hair in frustration, despair, as the dam finally broke, his bottled up feelings coming out in a rush. "Dammit, I never thought I would see that much blood again, never. Not from my own flesh and blood. It was horrible and I knew that there was nothing that I could do to stop it. Being the perfect soldier means nothing when you can't protect your own child from something like that. And I couldn't do a damn thing except hold her hand as she screamed. It scared the hell out of me, not knowing how to cope with a situation like this. For the first time in my life, I was truly scared out of my mind. But I held myself together. I had to. For her. For Relena. For Victoria, for Dominic, even though they would have support from Chris or Morgan. I couldn't fall apart and it was tearing me apart, knowing I couldn't fucking lose it. When they brought her back, she looked so deathly pale. It made me want to kill Bobby for making her fall down the steps in the first place and for not being able to catch her in time. I just…" he trailed off as he bent his head against his folded forearms on the mantle. "I just always thought I could protect her from everything and this time…I couldn't. And I hated that feeling of being completely hopeless."

"Unfortunately we can't protect them from everything," Quatre sighed sadly as he regarded Heero with an understanding look. "As much as we try to make sure that nothing will ever happen to them, something inevitably happens. We can't protect our children from life. Believe me, Heero, if it had been my daughter, I would be reacting the same exact way. But I know how much this hurts because it's someone that you love."

Heero raised his eyes towards Quatre. He knew what the other man had been like when this had happened to Catherine. He had been an emotional wreck that had taken Trowa nearly two weeks to pull him out of. Raking his hands through his hair again, he sat down on one of the sofas in front of the fireplace. He picked up one of the pictures from one of the polished side tables and examined it, traced his fingers over it. The child that Veronica had been, with the cherub cheeks and the smiling sapphire eyes, to the woman she had become, with the gleaming gold hair and the same flawless beauty as her mother's. "Deep down, I know that too, Quatre. I only wish it was something else. Something else I could cope with," he said with a sigh. "If I had watched her more closely, if I had been around more, maybe this wouldn't have happened. I could have prevented all of this and for some strange reason, I knew something like this could happen. Maybe I was just disillusioning myself to believe that Veronica was too smart to get herself pregnant and to even think of sleeping around in the first place. I knew it from that night she had come home; I knew what she had done. I didn't have to ask. I just knew. I should've stopped it right there and I didn't. I'm paying for my own lack of foresight," he berated himself as he set the picture back down.

The Arabian went and sat down on the opposite couch, facing his friend. He could feel the other man's fury, frustration, and pain. It had been written on his face barely a few minutes ago. "It's not your fault, Heero. You can't go blaming yourself for this. We can't blame ourselves for the things that happen. If we did, we would all need psychiatric help. Look at all of us and all the scrapes our children have gotten into. There is no way we can stop them from doing half the things that hurt them. We can cushion some of them, but not all of them. They make their own mistakes and learn from them," he explained as he got up again and looked at the portrait on the wall of all the families together. "Our kids are being kids. They had happy childhoods. And I don't doubt that every one of us loves our children as much as they love us. We do the best we can and yes, wallowing in self-pity and punishing ourselves might make it more justifiable to our way of thinking, but all it does, is make our wives crazy and upset. We might have saved the world from annihilating itself, but we are only human. And we do make mistakes," he finished as he turned around and looked at Heero. "So don't go blaming yourself for something like this Things like this happen, as excruciating as they might be."

"Yeah, I know," Heero, sighed as he looked up at Quatre. "You're not telling me something that I don't already know. I just need to hear it from somebody else."

A slight smile worked its way across Quatre's face. "And how is Relena holding up?"

The corner of Heero's mouth tilted up a bit. "She's dealing with it. Better than me, but I guess women are meant to cope with things like this better than men are. I let everyone think that I'm the one holding her together in this, but it's her. She's making sure that I don't fall completely apart," he replied as he clasped his hands together in front of them, dangling them over his knees.

"Victoria is getting through it, even though she's still mad at Chris. She comes to visit as much as she can. And Dominic is doting on Veronica like he did when she was little. He's become very, very protective of her. I think it scared him as much as me, if not more. I had Lady take him off of security duty since Relena will be staying at home for the time being."

"That's good that the both of them are here for her because she'll need them. Veronica will need as much support as possible to help her get through this," said Quatre as he looked over at the Yuy family portrait on the mantle.

Heero arched a brow. "You didn't mention your son."

"I didn't think you would want him around her right now, considering that she might still be upset with him. And I don't think he wants to cause her any undue stress. He's feeling everything she is right now since he's so attuned to her now, more than ever."

"Do you know if Vaughn cares for her?"

Quatre bent his head to look at the plush carpet under his feet. "I think Donavon mentioned that Vaughn loved her the day that he found out about Randy and him. But so far, Vaughn's blocked me off from his feelings. I know that he cares about her a lot, but I couldn't say if he loves her. I know that your daughter loves him. I can feel that. But he's being tight lipped about the whole thing, so all I can say is that I really don't know."

A curious look lit Heero's face. "He can block you? I didn't know he was powerful enough to do that. It never occurred to me that he was as powerful as you."

"He's not quite as powerful, but strong enough to be able to make sure I don't read his feelings. I've tried and it's like walking into a brick wall. And he won't let me in.

"I see," the other man sighed as he leaned back on the cushions. "That doesn't do me any good because I don't know what his intentions are towards my daughter."

"All you have to do is read actions, Heero. You never needed emotions. You knew by just watching, what was going on. I think you'll figure this out soon enough."

Before Heero said anything more, Vaughn pushed the door open and entered the room. He studied the young man, watching his face. It was strained. There was a lost lovesick look in his eyes. It answered his question about Vaughn's feelings towards Veronica. The boy was in love with her, he just didn't know why he never said it to her. The younger half Arabian had no trouble in confessing how he felt towards Randy and he tended to have a big mouth anyway. He just didn't get why he never told Veronica that he loved her. "Is she still sleeping?"

Knowing that he was being scrutinized, he nodded his head. "I did as you asked. I didn't wake her up at all. I laid the flowers on the table next to her bed. "I know that she'll appreciate them when she wakes up," he replied softly as he stood behind the couch where Quatre sat. "I did what I needed to do."

"Good to hear," Heero replied as he looked Vaughn up and down. "Now, you'll do as I ask and stay away from her for the time being. She needs to heal. Physically and emotionally. I don't want her getting all upset again over you."

"I understand," Vaughn, said, his tone solemn.

At that point, Quatre stood. "I think it's time that you and I left, Vaughn. You did what you needed to do."

With a nod of his head, he started to follow his father out of the study. He could feel those Prussian blue eyes boring into his back again. They were making him highly uncomfortable. But he didn't blame him. Veronica was his child and he was protecting her in the best way.

Quatre turned and looked back at Heero as they reached the front door. "Call me when you need me. I'll try to help in any way that I can."

"Understood," Heero said with a nod of his head as the blond opened the door.

Vaughn followed his father down the stone steps to their car in the driveway. The early August sunshine was fading to a bright orange as the sun started to set on the horizon. He was puzzled by what his father had meant by his last comment. "Dad, what do you mean, "you'll help in any way?"

Quatre looked over at his son as they sat in the car. "Heero asked me to talk with Veronica. She'll need help getting through this and he wanted me to be the one. He trusts me and she knows me. She won't be as hesitant with me as with someone else. I've seen her grow up. I know how she is."

"You're going to read her?"

"No, although it I will be feeling what she's feeling. I'm not going to blatantly read her emotions. Talking them through is what's best for her at this point. She loves you and I believe you already know that. She also needs you, but it's not the right time. Not yet. You'll get your chance soon enough, Vaughn."

Vaughn stared into his father's aquamarine eyes for a moment before turning his head and looked out the window. "I certainly hope so," he said, his voice faint as he looked back at the mansion with longing and love in his eyes, as he thought of his angel laying asleep upstairs.

 

A/N: As you can see, I was busy writing these while the site was down. So, I hope you enjoyed them and stay tuned for more coming soon! XOXO!