Disclaimer: Same disclaimers as the previous ones. We're too lazy to type it all up again.

Bluejay: Just add the fact that we don't own Tactics by the Yellow Monkeys, some scenes come from the comedic genius of The Narrator, and that some scenes implied here come from the OAV or the series and we just distorted them for fun. No money made or we'd actually be richer than we really are.

Onna: The Hoedown is based on my fic, "Tanabata Trials." If you've never read it before, you wouldn't understand the Hoedown.

Bluejay: Yeah. It only goes to show just how much Onna loves her fic.

Onna: Wheee! *wide grin*

Bluejay: Ah, quit that. We've got a show to start.

*****

"Good afternoon and welcome to the show!" Bluejay greeted cheerfully. "Today, I say Oro, Himura Kenshin! I say funky, Sagara Sanosuke! I say nothing, Shinomori Aoshi! And I say I'm the best, Hiko Seijuro! I'm your host, come on down and let's have some fun!" She walked down the steps to the stage and sat behind her desk. "Hello and welcome to Whose Line is it Anyway, the Rurouni Kenshin version, the show where everything is made up and the points don't matter. Like an eraser to my best friend Onna."

"Nani!"

Bluejay grinned mischievously. "Actually, she does use an eraser in her drawings. Sometimes."

Onna shot her fists to her hips, glaring at Bluejay who held up a peace gesture with her hands.

"Anyway! Our first game is called, Superheroes! This is for all four of you. What they're going to do is they're going to come up, one by one, give each other a superhero name to act out uh…trying to trip each other. Sano will start for us and…" She turned to face the audience. "What I need is a suggestion for an unlikely superhero name."

The audience yelled out suggestions, the voices combining to make an indistinguishable babble.

Bluejay leaned closer to the audience. "What's that? I heard Captain Chicken Head!"

"Oi!" Sano protested.

"Captain Chicken Head! I like that! And what crisis will he be trying to solve?"

"Missing sakabatou!"

"Missing sakabatou!" Bluejay laughed as Kenshin's eyes widened in disbelief. "So Captain Chicken Head, the sakabatou is missing! What are we going to do?"

Sano gave one final glare before he started jerking his head around. "Buck buck buckuck buck buck."

Bluejay's laughter rang through the speakers before she held her mic away.

Sano pretended to open a closet door and gasped. "Buck buckuck! The sakabatou! It's gone! Buckuck! Where is it?" He rummaged through the imaginary closet. "It's missing! The sakabatou's missing! Buck buckuck! Do the others know where it is?"

Kenshin went to stand beside Sano. "Oro? Is something wrong?"

"Buckuck! It's a good thing you're here, Indefatigueable Oro Man!"

"Oro?"

"Have you seen the sakabatou, buck buck?"

"Oro? I haven't seen it, oro."

Hiko strolled casually onto the stage. "What are you stupid bastards doing?"

"Oro, the sakabatou's missing, Ego Master."

Hiko jerked his chin up arrogantly. "One of you bastards must have misplaced it then."

"Oro?"

"Sez you, buck buckuck!"

At that moment, Aoshi decided to step in.

"Oh it's you, Captain Silent." Hiko said disdainfully.

Aoshi glanced at Hiko, Kenshin, Sano, and back to Hiko again. "……"

"Oro, have you seen the sakabatou?" Kenshin asked Aoshi.

"……."

"Oro?"

"Don't mind him," said Sano. "He never says anything buck buckuck."

"And you never stop clucking." Hiko retorted arrogantly.

"Why you-"

"Oro! Let's just look for the sakabatou, okay oro?"

"Why, is there somebody named oro?"

"Oro?"

"As if he knows where the sakabatou is." Hiko snorted.

"Oro?"

Sano turned to Aoshi. "Buckuck, do you know where the sakabatou is?"

Aoshi stared at Sano, not saying a word. Then, he shrugged and left.

"That was helpful." Hiko muttered. "I've got better things to do than look for the sakabatou with idiots." And he left.

Kenshin gave an apologetic look to Sano. "Oro, I think I placed it in the kitchen, oro. I'll go and get it."

As Kenshin left, Sano turned to face the audience. "Buck buckuck. Crisis is finally over, thank Kami-sama. Now to get this chicken head off me!"

Bluejay slapped her desk as she laughed. "Oh man! Oh that was great. A thousand points to Sano, for being such a sport."

"Yeah!" Sano slammed his fist on his chair's arm, a smug expression on his face.

"And as a bonus, you can use the points to pay your bill at the Akabeko."

"Heck yeah!" He punched the air in a triumphant gesture.

Hiko snorted. "It'll keep the bakayarou happy until he finds out the points are worthless."

"Nani?!"

"L-let's just move on to a game called Two Line Vocabulary. This is for Hiko, Kenshin, and Sano." The three of them stood and walked to the center stage. "What they're going to do is they're going to be acting out a scene but Sano and Kenshin can only say one of two lines while Hiko can say anything he wants." Hiko's eyebrow twitched arrogantly. "Sano, your lines are, 'I ought to smack you' and 'Hey, I like that.' And Kenshin, your lines are, 'I think I'm going to be sick' and 'Does that hurt?' And the scene is, you're all at the Akabeko having a celebratory dinner. So whenever you're ready, go ahead."

"I can hardly believe you two would invite me." Hiko muttered as Sano pretended to wolf down the imaginary food on his imaginary plate. "I can hardly believe I'd actually come along."

Kenshin shrugged nonchalantly. "Does it hurt?"

"Hey, I like that." Sano suddenly grabbed something from Kenshin's imaginary plate and ate it.

"You've got some manners, chicken head." Hiko criticized him.

Sano glared. "I ought to smack you!"

"I'd like to see you try."

Sano started to take a swing at Hiko but Kenshin stopped him, saying peaceably, "Does it hurt?"

"Of course it doesn't hurt, baka deshi." Hiko said sarcastically. "He's too chicken in his head to know I called him chicken."

"I ought to smack you!"

"I think I'm going to be sick…" Kenshin said wearily.

"Hey, I like that." Sano shrugged.

"Baka yarou…" Hiko muttered.

"I ought to smack you!" Sano scowled at Hiko.

"Aren't you getting tired of threatening me?"

"I think I'm going to be sick." Kenshin sighed.

"You've always been sick, baka deshi."

"Hey, I like that." Sano grinned mischievously.

"I'm surprised. You actually like it when he's sick?"

There was a long pause before Kenshin innocently broke it. "Does it hurt?"

Bluejay pressed her buzzer for an exceptionally long time. "My goodness. I can't believe you guys can be so insistent."

"They are." Hiko pointed out. "They're very annoying too."

"Shishou!"

"I ought to smack you!"

Bluejay slapped her desk, laughing. "I'll give Sano five hundred points for that!"

"Yeah!"

"Now let's go on to a game called Questions Only. This is for all four of you." She turned to the audience. "I'll need the name of a disaster movie."

"Twister!"

"Twister! Okay! Questions Only on the Twister set! Go ahead."

"What is that?!" Sano cried, pointing to something above him.

"How should I know?" Aoshi shrugged.

"Aren't you from that place?"

"Was I supposed to be there?"

"Don't you know anything?"

"Am I supposed to?"

Sano's mouth worked, not knowing what to say next. At the same time Bluejay pressed the buzzer, he turned and walked away to be replaced by Hiko.

"Who are you?" he asked Aoshi.

"I was going to ask you the same."

Bluejay buzzed him out and Kenshin took his place.

"Are you supposed to be here?" Kenshin asked.

"Are you?" Hiko challenged.

"Didn't I ask you first?"

"Why would you want to know?"

"Why would you keep it a secret?"

"Why would you want to know it?"

Kenshin paused, considering. Then, "Don't you think we should leave this place before the strong winds hit us?"

"If you're worried about that, you-"

The sound of a buzzer interrupted him and Hiko left, to be replaced by Sano.

"Are you still here?"

"Would I be somewhere if I wasn't?" Kenshin asked innocently.

"Don't you see the storm coming?"

"Is that a storm?"

Sano opened his mouth to say something and closed it. Bluejay pressed her buzzer repetitively.

"Okay, that's enough. Five hundred points to everybody for whatever you did." She grinned widely. "And Kenshin gets five hundred and three points for acting so stupid."

"Hai de gozaru."

"De gozaru to you too. Let's move on to a game called Song Styles. This is for Hiko Seijuro with the help of Teien Onna and Hyouzan-sama! Now, he'll be singing a song about a…" She turned to the audience. "Give me a name of a body part."

"Feet!"

"Megumi's doctoring hands!"

"Sano's hair!"

"OI!"

"Sano's hair! That sounds good," Bluejay grinned. "All right, a song about Sano's hair to the tune of," she read one of her cards. "The Yellow Monkey's Tactics! Take it away!"

Hiko assumed a haughty expression as Onna and Hyouzan began the music.

"A chicken-headed wuss lives in Tokyo

His hair is a shock compared to mine

It sticks out on all sides, I wonder what happened

Maybe it has been struck by lightning."

"Such an idiot with such stupid-looking hair

All those silly spikes don't even make him look cool

When he's with me he's like a spoiled rotten brat

Just because his hair is nothing like mine!"

"Oh it's static, that makes his hair stand!

Oh it's static, that makes his hair stand!

His looks are nothing compared to the great

Hiko Seijuro, the 13th Master."

"Oh it's static, that's why he looks weird!

Oh it's static, that's why he looks weird!

He can't have the ladies 'cause they only love

Hiko Seijuro and his better-than-average hair!"

Bluejay laughingly hit the buzzer. "A thousand points for Hiko for making the ladies swoon. Yeah, I think I'll call that song Static from now on." Onna and Hyouzan burst into laughter with the rest of the audience.

Hiko arrogantly jerked his chin up, much to the delight of some squealing Hiko fans.

"Next, we go on to a game called Scenes from a Hat. For everybody. This is our…err…hat," Bluejay held up a pink straw hat in an upside down position. "I suppose we couldn't find a more decent hat due to Onna's budget restraints."

"Nani!" Onna's outburst came out through the speakers.

"Just kidding! Anyway, what's going to happen is, we asked the audience for scenes they'd like to see these guys act out. We picked the best of them, put them in this hat. Now what I'm going to do, is I'll read them out and these guys will come out one by one, making as many funny scenes as they possibly can with the allotted time. Starting with, 'Hiten Mitsurugi moves that never made it.'"

Hiko came out and faced the audience. "Hiten Mitsurugi Ryuu. Laughing Mushrooms attack."

"Shishou!" Kenshin protested as a buzz followed Hiko back to the step. Kenshin walked out and moved into a fighting stance. "Hiten Mitsurugi Ryuu! Sake barrage!"

Hiko's eyebrow twitched while Bluejay buzzed Kenshin out. Hiko went to the center stage again. "Hiten Mitsurugi Ryuu. Oro Sen."

Bluejay buzzed him out and laughingly picked out another scene. "'Things to say that would irritate Kaoru.'"

Sano stepped out. "Busu!" Buzz.

Kenshin stepped out after Sano left. "Oro?" Buzz. "Kaoru-dono!" Buzz.

Hiko stepped out. "Your cooking's bad." Buzz.

Sano went back to the stage. "Oi Kenshin! What's the name of that girl who stripped in front of you?"

"ORO?!!!!"

"KENSHIN NO HENTAI!!!!!!" Kaoru's scream reverberated from the audience.

"Oro! K-Kaoru-dono!!"

A repetitive buzzing filled the air as Bluejay's hand slapped it, her head thrown back in a laugh. "J-Just for the record…Kaoru…there wasn't any stripper." Her gaze went to the red-faced rurouni. "Right, Kenny-guy?"

"H-hai de gozaru."

"Okay. Moving on…" she picked out another scene from the hat. "'SMS messages the Kenshin-gumi would send if they had cell phones.'"

Sano stepped out, pretending to hold an imaginary cell phone. "Help! I'm stuck in the middle of nowhere!" Buzz.

Hiko stepped out, doing the same imitation as Sano did. "Kenshin, get me some sake." Buzz. "You can never beat me in Hiten Mitsurugi Ryuu." Buzz.

Aoshi stepped out quietly and made a 'beep' sound. "…I seem to be running low on battery…" Buzz.

Kenshin stepped out, looking at his imaginary cell phone. "'Kaoru-dono: Kenshin! Get back home this instant!'" He looked up to face the audience. "Oro...Sessha can't run away from Kaoru-dono with this cell phone de gozaru." Buzz.

Bluejay fished out another scene from the hat. "'Wrong things to say while proposing to her.'"

Aoshi came out. "Rats, someone ate my cheese bread." Buzz.

Bluejay laughed, picking out another scene from the hat. "No hard feelings about that one, eh Aoshi?"

Aoshi shook his head, a casual smile on his face.

"Great." Bluejay read the slip of paper. "'Things to do when you're suicidal.'"

Aoshi stepped out. "Kenshin, by this time tomorrow, Kaoru will die by my sword."

"Oro?! Kisama…!" Buzz.

"Peace, Kenny-guy," Bluejay said. "He wasn't serious about it."

Hiko stepped out. "Sano, you fight like a wimp."

"Why you-!!" Buzz.

"Sano, he didn't mean that either." Bluejay said. "Cool it."

Grumbling, Sano walked to the center stage and threw his arms out to his sides. "I'm the strongest fighter in the world!" Buzz.

Kenshin stepped out. "Saitou, your comrades are a bunch of amateur swordsmen who couldn't protect the shogun." Buzz.

"Saitou, wherever you are," Bluejay called into the audience. "Kenny-guy didn't mean that seriously."

"Hai de gozaru."

"See? He didn't mean it. Now…" She read another slip of paper. "'Things the Kenshin-gumi would never say.' Except now, that is."

Kenshin stepped out. "Ow." Buzz.

Sano stepped out and pretended to smoke a pipe. "Elementary, my dear Kenshin." Buzz.

Aoshi came out. "Misao-chan, give Aoshi-sama a hug." Buzz.

Sano came out again. "Saitou, old buddy, let me buy you a drink." Buzz.

Aoshi came out again. "Does this suit make my butt look big?" Buzz.

Kenshin stepped out. "But I don't want to do the laundry…" Buzz.

Bluejay read another slip of paper. "'Other image songs for the Kenshin-gumi."

Aoshi stepped out and began to sing. "Silence is golden…" Buzz.

Hiko stepped out and sang. "I'm too sexy for my body…" Buzz.

"Shishou!!"

Bluejay shook her head in exasperation. "I don't know whether it would be funny or totally horrific when he'd actually dance to that song as well."

"Tough." Hiko snorted.

Bluejay grinned and read out another slip of paper. "'Battle scenes gone horribly wrong.'"

Kenshin stepped out and jumped real high. "Hiten Mitsurugi Ryuu! Ryu Tsui-" His head hit the ceiling with a loud bonk and he went crashing down to the floor. "Oro…Sessha forgot all about the roof…" Buzz.

"Baka deshi." Hiko muttered.

Aoshi stepped out, pulling Kenshin with him. He went to a fighting stance with his double sword only he pretended that it was a gigantic pair of scissors – and cut off Kenshin's hair.

"Oro?!!" Buzz.

"Oh that was great. We're almost at the end of the show. And today's winner is, Shinomori Aoshi!" Bluejay stood up and moved to the center stage as Aoshi took her seat. "Yeah, he gets to sit there while the rest of us will do a…" Her face took on a despairing look. "Aw, do I have to? Why can't it be another game?"

"'Cause it's what they all wanted," Onna called. "Especially JML and catti."

"Aww man…" Bluejay sighed. "Okay. I'll do it for them. The final game for this episode is a Hoedown."

The audience cheered while Bluejay winced. "What we're going to need is a uhh…what would Kenshin and Kaoru reminisce about?"

There was only one answer. "Kenshin's proposal!"

"Orororo!!"

Bluejay laughed, clapping Kenshin on the back. "Well Kenny-guy, guess you'll have to sing about what really happened that day!"

"Burujei-dono!"

"Okay, so it's the Kenshin's proposal Hoedown! Take it away!"

The introductory piano notes of the familiar song played through the speakers, followed by the softer, deeper supporting tones of an electric guitar.

Hiko waited for the right time before he sang.

"This baka deshi of mine, so idiotic and dense.
Doesn't seem to know when a woman is tense
Especially that one in the Kamiya dojo
The so-called kenjutsu komatchi of Tokyo."

Bluejay gave him a puzzled look before she sang the second stanza.

"The problem is, she really likes him
And trying everything to stay quite thin
But nothing happens, at least what she wants
He's just too dense to see, he might not be a man."

Sano's laughter took only a short while as his stanza began.

"So the fox and I had a bet, just to see
Just so she'd put some shame on poor me!
Kenshin had soon better propose
Or else I'll be picking up her rose!"

Kenshin's look of reluctant acceptance never changed as he sang his stanza.

"Sessha promised to propose to Kaoru-dono
On Tanabata day, so Kaoru-dono would be pleased
But on the day itself, Sessha had to say oro
For Tsubame-dono had beaten Sessha to it."

"Had beaten Sessha to iitt...!!" The others repeated as the last notes died away.

"Whew!" Bluejay wiped away imaginary sweat from her forehead. "That's done." She moved to her desk as Aoshi went to the center stage. "Okay, Aoshi will be reading the credits for us. And you'll be reading it as…someone about to fight. Thanks everybody! Have a great day!"

"Bluejay Sylver, Teien Onna, and Hyouzan-sama sent me." Aoshi said as he entered his fighting stance again. "Tan Kimiko, oro-chan, marstanuki, and Kenta Divina wanted it." He unsheathed his double sword. "JML and catti gave their blessings. And asaka-chan as well." He shifted his stance, in preparation for a charge. "This is for you, The Narrator." And he charged into the audience who parted before him.

*****

Bluejay: Thanks all, for giving us another chance to come up with a third installment.

Onna: Gomen! Gomen! It's taken us so long!

Bluejay: Anyway, we might be posting another installment in the future but it'll take some time due to schoolwork. Thanks all.