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Out of Control, Part 20

Heero sat at his desk late Friday afternoon going over the physical evaluations of the Academy's incoming class. Any Preventer, whether they were a field agent or not, had to be in the top physical condition since it was a demanding job. A field agent was even more taxing. He had trained two of his, a Maxwell, a Merquise, a Chang, and a Barton was in training. He made it harder on them since he knew what they could be capable of. He studied each evaluation thoroughly before setting it aside and filling in the necessary forms. Hearing the door click, he raised his eyes to the form of his youngest child. "Veronica, what brings you here?" he asked as he set down his pen.

"I wanted to talk to you about something," Veronica replied as she crossed the room and propped her hip on the edge of his desk. Since her talk with Randy the other day, she decided it was time to talk to Vaughn, but she wanted to tell her father what she was going to do. She knew it was a possibility that he would fight her on this, but she only had three weeks left before Vaughn returned to New York for school and she returned to Paris for hers.

"Is there anything wrong?" he asked, his brows drawing in over the Prussian blue eyes. He scrutinized her carefully before returning his eyes to her face. Those sapphire eyes of hers were looking out the window before returning to his. "Are you feeling all right?"

"I feel fine, much better since I've been talking to Quatre. It was nice of you to ask him to help me."

"I figured he would be easier to talk to than someone that you didn't know and trust."

Smiling, she picked up the crystal paperweight and rolled it between her palms. "He's been very good to me," she commented before setting it down again, "But that's not what I came in here about. It's about Vaughn."

"What about him?" Heero asked, as he pushed away from the desk. He laced his fingers over his stomach as he regarded her. In the back of his mind, he knew that she would ask about Vaughn sooner or later. And knowing how she felt about him, it made him all the more worried about her well-being.

"I want to see him."

That was what he was afraid of. She wanted to see him. "Why do you want to see him?"

"Because the two of us need to straighten things out. We have to talk and…and I need him, dad. And I hardly need anybody, but right now…I do. I think you already know that I love him," she said, softly pleating the hem of her skirt. She kept her gaze steady and her face impassive.

He could see the hopeful look in her eyes. It couldn't be hidden. He had sworn that he wouldn't let something cause her pain ever again. The past few weeks had been near agony for him. It seemed that every time he had closed his eyes a week ago, all he could see was her blood. It had kept him from sleeping, making Relena drag him back into bed since he would pace the length of their room until morning some nights. He had never been shaken that badly before, not even when Relena went into premature labor with Dominic. Shaking his head, he centered his eyes back on hers. "I would rather that you not see him."

Expecting this, she raked her teeth across her lips. "Dad, I know that you wouldn't, but its imperative. And I will do it, with or without your approval, but I rather not."

"Please understand where I'm coming from, Veronica. I've just gone through something every father shouldn't have to go through. I saw more blood than I ever wanted to see again…coming from you. It's burned into my consciousness. It kept me from sleeping last week. And knowing that, Vaughn is inadvertently responsible for your emotional state in the past two, three weeks, I would damn myself if I let him hurt you again."

Taken aback by her father's words, she let her head hang forwards. "Dad, does it matter what he's done?"

"Yes, I'm afraid it does matter. You're my child and I watched you go through hell. I know you don't want me to protect you, but this time, I have to. You're health is what's at stake here. I want you to be happy and yet knowing that he feels bad for letting you go through this…I just can't let him be responsible for your emotional or physical health," he said as he stood up. He lightly grasped her arms and looked into her face. "I'm doing this because I love you and don't want anything to happen to you. I'm not doing this maliciously, Veronica."

"You can't protect me from everything," Veronica said softly. "Doesn't it matter that I love him and that I know that he cares for me? Randy told me that's he's never felt so bad in his entire life. And he thinks that I don't want him, but I do want him. With me, dad. Vaughn's treated me better than any other guy I've dated."

"Yes, but none of them hurt you like he did. And I know what he did to hurt you belonged in the past, but that past is what caused this entire mess. You're competition with Randy, the fact that he's cared for her the same way he cares for you, and you…sleeping…" he trailed off, not able to finish the rest.

"You mean when I started sleeping around, don't you?"

Heero nodded. "You think I didn't know? I knew it when you came home that night. I just didn't want to think about you with some boy, who I knew would never be good enough for you. It started off with just him…then I started hearing stories about you and a few others. It was my fault for letting you gone on with that kind of behavior. I should have punished you for it that night, but I didn't. Now, I feel guilty because I know I could have stopped it then and there. Maybe if I had done it, none of this would have happened to you…but I didn't. And what gets me is that I thought never in a million years would I have to deal with something like this. I thought your mother and I taught you better behavior than this…"

Veronica hung her head down to look at the floor. "It was my own bad choices, not yours. You have nothing to feel guilty about. It was my choice to…with those other guys. I knew what I was doing. You and mom were good parents, but I was old enough to know what the consequences of my behavior could be. And grounding me, probably wouldn't have stopped me."

"You would have let those boys continue to use you as they like, despite the fact that you didn't love them, like they didn't love you? You deserved better than that."

"Deserving better, meant all the more I would compete with Randy for a guy's attention. Guys like her because she had no problem being "one of the guys." She could talk sports; play them much better than I ever could, and never mind the occasional bump or bruise. And it's also because of that damn body of hers," she snapped as she then took a deep breath before continuing, "And yes, I freely admit that I was jealous of her because of it, just as she was of me two years before. It also didn't help when she was held up as an example to me either! Randy was the genius, the athlete, and the good girl with the chastity ring on her finger, but had the looks and heart of a temptress. I knew it disappointed you that I was nothing like her!"

Frowning, he let go of her arms. "You think that I held her up as an example to you? She had her faults just the way you did. Duo didn't control her like he should have, but it's his fault for letting her run around with the boys too much and letting her get away with anything she liked. In many ways, she's worse off then you. Duo let her do, as she liked because of his own fears of losing her, when he nearly lost her when she was born. She doesn't know the reason why, but it's enough to let her walk all over him with abandon. In some ways, yes, I did hold Randy as an example to you only because you and her both had the brains to succeed, but you were more boy crazy than she ever was. You devoted more time to boys than school. That's the only thing I ever asked you to do."

Veronica crossed her arms and glared at him. "It was more than just school, dad. It was that damn chastity ring of hers too! A day didn't go by that I wasn't asked to pledge to that and wear that ring. I couldn't understand why you never asked Victoria to do it!"

"I didn't have to worry about Victoria like I had to worry about you! You and your sister are two very different people!"

"It's because she's a female version of you! She can be a cold fish and she did rightly earn the nickname of "ice princess" by Chris. But when she slept with him, all you did was dislocate his shoulder! You never once thought of grounding her for it!"

"For one, Victoria was twenty one before she ever did anything like that! I didn't like it, but at least she waited longer than you did! What the hell were you thinking at sixteen?" Heero started to shout.

Momentarily shocked by his raised voice, she gritted her teeth. "And I'll ask this, does the fact that I slept with a guy at sixteen, make me a whore?"

His clenched jaws relaxed, surprised that his daughter would even ask him that. Strands of his messy hair brushed against his forehead as he shook his head. "No, it doesn't. Why would you even ask me that, Veronica? You're not like that at all. I'm just saying, you could have waited until you were a little older," he said, his tone calmer and more in control once again. "And if you even think that you are, don't."

Some of the fury went out of her stance, as her own body relaxed. "Randy said the same thing. But when I'm constantly told, I shouldn't have been doing all this, what am I supposed to think? I just want to know why, dad? If you knew what I was doing, why didn't you just stop me?"

"Because you would have kept on doing it anyway," he replied as he rested his hands on her slender shoulders. "You are my rebellious one. And coming from experience, anything I prevented you from doing or told you not to, you went and did it anyway. I did ground you on more than one occasion for disobeying me. I regret that I didn't do anything then like a good father should have," he stated as he looked down into her sapphire eyes. "That's why I don't want you to see Vaughn. I know he's not like those other boys, but he hurt you more than all of them combined. And I don't think you're ready, emotionally. I know that you love him, but make sure your feelings are clear and his are about you. I don't want you hurt again. I don't want to have to pick up the pieces and this time, deprive Quatre of one of his heirs."

"I just want to talk to him," Veronica said in a small voice as she looked up into the Prussian blue eyes above her.

"I know you do, sweetheart," Heero sighed as he pressed a kiss on her forehead. He knew deep down, he had to let her talk to Vaughn, but he was nervous about her going through more pain. Taking a deep breath against her silky hair, he closed his arms around her, and hugged her. It wasn't often that he did this and maybe it was his fault for not showing more affection towards his children, but it had been hard. It had taken nearly four years to admit his feelings for Relena or to admit that he had any at all. It was something he struggled with everyday since his training had been so ingrained into him as a child. Therapy had helped a little, but it couldn't erase what he had been taught. "At this upcoming Sunday dinner, you can have your talk with Vaughn," he said quietly as he rubbed his hands up and down her back.

She burrowed her face against his chest as her hands clutched the back of his shirt. She had never seen or heard him be so emotional before in her entire existence. A few tears seeped from under her lashes and onto the soft material under her cheek. "This has to be hard for him," she thought as the scent of his cologne invaded her senses. It was that warm comforting smell that she had always associated with his protection and his strength. "Thank you, daddy. I love you," she whispered.

Heero closed his eyes, his own eyes feeling hot from the emotions he was feeling. "I love you too," he said as he pressed a kiss on the crown of her golden hair. "I hope this is the right thing for me to do," he wondered as he continued to stroke her back with his fingers in the afternoon sunlight.

A/N: I know it took some time, but it's here! So read and enjoy! XOXO!!