Disclaimer: Gravitation isn't Yui's.
Aching Desire
(Nagareboshi 3)
by Miyamoto Yui
Chapter 11 – Oboeteimasu ka? (Do you remember?)
When we went back to the hotel, I walked straight to the balcony to watch Tokyo flashing with many beautiful lights. Maybe it's just me. So many would love to leave and yet I yearned to always come.
But with the silence, Touma's words wouldn't leave my head. As looked at Ryuichi for the rest of the day, I looked at his happy face with a transformation in my vision.
I always am so surprised how far Ryuichi would go for what he truly cared about. To others, it might sound bratty. To me, I found it more passionate than ever.
Even more than when he changed when he changed.
Compared to everything I've seen and now what I've just learned, that was nothing. For him to be serious and kawaii little kid in one minute was nothing.
Sometimes this scared me, but then it was something I found strength in too.
Tap, tap.
I turned around to find Ryuichi standing next to me with his arms crossed as he leaned on the railing. "You look like you've found something out."
"You always read me so well."
"Of course I do. I don't observe you when you're sleeping for nothing." He took Kumagorou from his head and shoved it into my hands. "What do you have to say?"
"Don't get upset with Touma, but he told me, Ryuichi."
Ryuichi turned away from me immediately. He sighed aloud.
"You were terminating your contract."
Damn, that was so hard to say.
Silence.
"Why? You have to at least tell me. There are so many who would love to see you singing. There are many of those who depend on you, Ryuichi."
He turned to me with his eyes looking distant and his sad smile. "I'm a selfish brat, aren't I?"
"But I sing for you, Tatsuha." He smiled as he patted my head. "And there was only one reason why I came here. Hitotsu dake!"
He pointed at me. "You. So that I could stay here with you."
Ryuichi then pushed himself off the railing. "So there's no point singing for someone who isn't even going to be there."
He then gestured for me go inside. "Make dinner."
As I did so, he started writing in a notebook. And when I was done with cooking, I sat next to him with my apron still on. He then dropped the notebook into my lap.
It read:
"I sang to find something that I can't anywhere else. I know you know and understand this. I've told you this before.
But you know what? I was always looking around. I sang for people and it made me happy. I found something that I was good and made other people feel good too. But that wasn't what I looking for.
It was something more.
And I realized that when you said you would jump off the ledge for me.
You probably don't remember this, but I remember a kid who came into my room while I was staying with Touma for a while…"
I gasped in shock.
"…and that boy came into the room after I had taken a shower. He was cute because he blushed so much that I laughed and teased him by saying 'Daijoubu'. Then, he bowed his head and closed the door behind him.
Other people would have bothered me, but he respected my privacy. Even though Touma told me later that it was one of his good friend's little brother and he was a Nittle Grasper fan, I was so shocked since I found out he was a fan.
And I was infatuated with that boy until I forgot what he looked like.
Then, I saw him again years later. And you know what I did? Instead of doing all the things I planned in my head if I ever met him again, I threw Kumagorou at him.
I was so in shock that I threw Kumagorou at him as a reflex.
To make sure he was real.
That's why I scheduled the day of the concert on the day I 'met' you years ago.
You thought I'd forget, didn't you, Tatsuha?
You love me as a person.
Not some idol that you've always looked out. But honestly looked at who I am.
This person who changes when he sings and becomes ticklish when he eats chocolate. You accepted this person without even thinking twice about your answers.
And when I sang Nagareboshi and Fallen Angel, I wasn't singing to find what I was looking for anymore.
I was singing to keep it.
To keep you, Tatsuha.
And if I couldn't even have that, then I don't want any of it.
Maybe I'm a fool and carefree as they say, but I always know what I want and how I'm going to get it.
Remember, I told you, 'It's either all or nothing. I can't love something in the middle'."
I looked up to Ryuichi as he went to get plates so that we could eat. He smiled at me as bustled around to hide his nervousness.
"Ryuichi…" I mumbled quietly. "You remembered…"
It was then that I bowed my head with a smiled and folded the letter to put into my pocket.
To be continued.
--
Author's note: I guess this is the pace. Oh god…
I hope you guys will be patient because I'm telling you now and again that this will be a LONG fic no matter how much and fast I am trying to write it.
Demo, demo…*winces* This was such a kawaii chapter!!
Aching Desire
(Nagareboshi 3)
by Miyamoto Yui
Chapter 11 – Oboeteimasu ka? (Do you remember?)
When we went back to the hotel, I walked straight to the balcony to watch Tokyo flashing with many beautiful lights. Maybe it's just me. So many would love to leave and yet I yearned to always come.
But with the silence, Touma's words wouldn't leave my head. As looked at Ryuichi for the rest of the day, I looked at his happy face with a transformation in my vision.
I always am so surprised how far Ryuichi would go for what he truly cared about. To others, it might sound bratty. To me, I found it more passionate than ever.
Even more than when he changed when he changed.
Compared to everything I've seen and now what I've just learned, that was nothing. For him to be serious and kawaii little kid in one minute was nothing.
Sometimes this scared me, but then it was something I found strength in too.
Tap, tap.
I turned around to find Ryuichi standing next to me with his arms crossed as he leaned on the railing. "You look like you've found something out."
"You always read me so well."
"Of course I do. I don't observe you when you're sleeping for nothing." He took Kumagorou from his head and shoved it into my hands. "What do you have to say?"
"Don't get upset with Touma, but he told me, Ryuichi."
Ryuichi turned away from me immediately. He sighed aloud.
"You were terminating your contract."
Damn, that was so hard to say.
Silence.
"Why? You have to at least tell me. There are so many who would love to see you singing. There are many of those who depend on you, Ryuichi."
He turned to me with his eyes looking distant and his sad smile. "I'm a selfish brat, aren't I?"
"But I sing for you, Tatsuha." He smiled as he patted my head. "And there was only one reason why I came here. Hitotsu dake!"
He pointed at me. "You. So that I could stay here with you."
Ryuichi then pushed himself off the railing. "So there's no point singing for someone who isn't even going to be there."
He then gestured for me go inside. "Make dinner."
As I did so, he started writing in a notebook. And when I was done with cooking, I sat next to him with my apron still on. He then dropped the notebook into my lap.
It read:
"I sang to find something that I can't anywhere else. I know you know and understand this. I've told you this before.
But you know what? I was always looking around. I sang for people and it made me happy. I found something that I was good and made other people feel good too. But that wasn't what I looking for.
It was something more.
And I realized that when you said you would jump off the ledge for me.
You probably don't remember this, but I remember a kid who came into my room while I was staying with Touma for a while…"
I gasped in shock.
"…and that boy came into the room after I had taken a shower. He was cute because he blushed so much that I laughed and teased him by saying 'Daijoubu'. Then, he bowed his head and closed the door behind him.
Other people would have bothered me, but he respected my privacy. Even though Touma told me later that it was one of his good friend's little brother and he was a Nittle Grasper fan, I was so shocked since I found out he was a fan.
And I was infatuated with that boy until I forgot what he looked like.
Then, I saw him again years later. And you know what I did? Instead of doing all the things I planned in my head if I ever met him again, I threw Kumagorou at him.
I was so in shock that I threw Kumagorou at him as a reflex.
To make sure he was real.
That's why I scheduled the day of the concert on the day I 'met' you years ago.
You thought I'd forget, didn't you, Tatsuha?
You love me as a person.
Not some idol that you've always looked out. But honestly looked at who I am.
This person who changes when he sings and becomes ticklish when he eats chocolate. You accepted this person without even thinking twice about your answers.
And when I sang Nagareboshi and Fallen Angel, I wasn't singing to find what I was looking for anymore.
I was singing to keep it.
To keep you, Tatsuha.
And if I couldn't even have that, then I don't want any of it.
Maybe I'm a fool and carefree as they say, but I always know what I want and how I'm going to get it.
Remember, I told you, 'It's either all or nothing. I can't love something in the middle'."
I looked up to Ryuichi as he went to get plates so that we could eat. He smiled at me as bustled around to hide his nervousness.
"Ryuichi…" I mumbled quietly. "You remembered…"
It was then that I bowed my head with a smiled and folded the letter to put into my pocket.
To be continued.
--
Author's note: I guess this is the pace. Oh god…
I hope you guys will be patient because I'm telling you now and again that this will be a LONG fic no matter how much and fast I am trying to write it.
Demo, demo…*winces* This was such a kawaii chapter!!