As his office door closed, Robert stood at the closed window in the dark room, thinking to himself. He twisted the plastic rod attached to the blinds back and forth, watching the room fill with light and then become engulfed in darkness, over and over again. During this time, he took stock of his life over the past few months since he'd met Anne.
Robert just felt so stupid about the whole thing. "How could I be such an idiot? I could lose my job! Nobody's supposed to be involved with the med students, especially not the Chief of Staff! But I haven't been involved with her. I want to though, that's enough." But it was more than that: he loved Anne. She was a part of him and seeing her leave his office had been like cutting off his other arm.
On top of all this, he was truly disgusted with himself. "Don't I have more self-control than this, to let myself get carried away? Sure I've had my share of loves and fantasies, but this was the first time somebody has ever loved me back. I've spent my whole career working to forget about not being loved. I know it's mostly my fault. I don't put much effort into being a person women could love," He thought, full of self-loathing.
*****
Dr. Corday had been walking down the hall to the elevator when she'd seen Anne leave Robert's office and begin running to the stairs, out of her sight. As she passed his office, Elizabeth noticed how dark it was. Curious, she walked to the door and stood quietly trying to hear anything. Hearing nothing but seeing the room lighting up then becoming dark again, she knew Robert was still in there. Elizabeth tapped gently on the door. "Robert, are you in there?" She called to him. Opening the door, she poked her head inside to see what he was doing.
No lights were on, but she could see a silhouette against a now-closed window. "Robert, are you all right? I just saw Anne run out of here. What happened?"
"Not that it's any of your business, but she's going to find a new teacher. I can't do it anymore."
Elizabeth made her way to his desk, fumbled around to find a light to turn on. Finding one and switching it on, she looked at Robert, trying to figure out what had happened. She noticed details about him that Anne had not. His angular face was thin and gaunt. He had dark circles under his eyes, as though he hadn't slept in days. Two days worth of stubble was growing on his chin. He was trembling. This was not the Robert Romano she knew. He hadn't even been this bad on Halloween when they'd talked about his arm.
"Why can't you do it anymore?"
Robert looked Elizabeth in the eyes, turned red, and then looked at the ground. Turning back to the window, Robert tried to figure out what to say. He knew she could be trusted, Lizzie had no interest in his job. But he wasn't the talking type; he was more the yelling and throwing things around type. At this point in time, it was still too early to put his thoughts into words. "Maybe," Robert thought to himself, "the best thing to do is just put it all out of my mind; it's nothing I haven't done before."
Seeing his unwillingness to talk, Elizabeth just stood with him in silence. She had an idea of what was going on, but didn't want to press him on it. He would tell her when he was comfortable with it. Knowing this had absolutely nothing to do with her made Elizabeth more willing to help him. In spite of all the horrible things he'd done to her over the years, she couldn't help thinking of him as some type of friend. Her "best enemy" perhaps. It could only be this feeling that could explain why Elizabeth walked up to Robert and put her arms around his shoulders, hugging him. She felt his muscles tense in surprise, then relax as he slowly put his arm around her.
Unable to hold himself in any longer, Dr. Robert "Rocket" Romano began to cry. Tears of exhaustion, anger, frustration, and pain fell onto Elizabeth's shoulder. Elizabeth held him, rocking him gently, like she did for Ella when she cried. In this small act of compassion, Elizabeth released herself from the resentment towards Robert she'd harbored for years, and started over again with him.
Robert held onto Elizabeth and let himself feel the first true emotions he'd felt in years. His tears turned bitter as he realized that both his happiness and his future depended on a decision he had to make. One he couldn't make yet. It felt good to have a friend to turn to at this moment.
Robert just felt so stupid about the whole thing. "How could I be such an idiot? I could lose my job! Nobody's supposed to be involved with the med students, especially not the Chief of Staff! But I haven't been involved with her. I want to though, that's enough." But it was more than that: he loved Anne. She was a part of him and seeing her leave his office had been like cutting off his other arm.
On top of all this, he was truly disgusted with himself. "Don't I have more self-control than this, to let myself get carried away? Sure I've had my share of loves and fantasies, but this was the first time somebody has ever loved me back. I've spent my whole career working to forget about not being loved. I know it's mostly my fault. I don't put much effort into being a person women could love," He thought, full of self-loathing.
*****
Dr. Corday had been walking down the hall to the elevator when she'd seen Anne leave Robert's office and begin running to the stairs, out of her sight. As she passed his office, Elizabeth noticed how dark it was. Curious, she walked to the door and stood quietly trying to hear anything. Hearing nothing but seeing the room lighting up then becoming dark again, she knew Robert was still in there. Elizabeth tapped gently on the door. "Robert, are you in there?" She called to him. Opening the door, she poked her head inside to see what he was doing.
No lights were on, but she could see a silhouette against a now-closed window. "Robert, are you all right? I just saw Anne run out of here. What happened?"
"Not that it's any of your business, but she's going to find a new teacher. I can't do it anymore."
Elizabeth made her way to his desk, fumbled around to find a light to turn on. Finding one and switching it on, she looked at Robert, trying to figure out what had happened. She noticed details about him that Anne had not. His angular face was thin and gaunt. He had dark circles under his eyes, as though he hadn't slept in days. Two days worth of stubble was growing on his chin. He was trembling. This was not the Robert Romano she knew. He hadn't even been this bad on Halloween when they'd talked about his arm.
"Why can't you do it anymore?"
Robert looked Elizabeth in the eyes, turned red, and then looked at the ground. Turning back to the window, Robert tried to figure out what to say. He knew she could be trusted, Lizzie had no interest in his job. But he wasn't the talking type; he was more the yelling and throwing things around type. At this point in time, it was still too early to put his thoughts into words. "Maybe," Robert thought to himself, "the best thing to do is just put it all out of my mind; it's nothing I haven't done before."
Seeing his unwillingness to talk, Elizabeth just stood with him in silence. She had an idea of what was going on, but didn't want to press him on it. He would tell her when he was comfortable with it. Knowing this had absolutely nothing to do with her made Elizabeth more willing to help him. In spite of all the horrible things he'd done to her over the years, she couldn't help thinking of him as some type of friend. Her "best enemy" perhaps. It could only be this feeling that could explain why Elizabeth walked up to Robert and put her arms around his shoulders, hugging him. She felt his muscles tense in surprise, then relax as he slowly put his arm around her.
Unable to hold himself in any longer, Dr. Robert "Rocket" Romano began to cry. Tears of exhaustion, anger, frustration, and pain fell onto Elizabeth's shoulder. Elizabeth held him, rocking him gently, like she did for Ella when she cried. In this small act of compassion, Elizabeth released herself from the resentment towards Robert she'd harbored for years, and started over again with him.
Robert held onto Elizabeth and let himself feel the first true emotions he'd felt in years. His tears turned bitter as he realized that both his happiness and his future depended on a decision he had to make. One he couldn't make yet. It felt good to have a friend to turn to at this moment.