Disclaimer: Yui doesn't own Gravi. You belong to me is by Carly Simon, but the inserts are mine.
Aching Desire
(Nagareboshi 3)
by miyamoto yui
Chapter 21 – we hurt the ones we love the most…
The determined look of intensity and anger instantly left when he mimed my name. And before I knew it, I found myself running after him. He picked up his helmet and walked away from me.
"Ryuichi! Ryuichi!" I shouted as I opened the heavy gate with my hands as he shook his head and sat on his bike.
When I opened the gate, he started up the motorcycle.
I ran towards him and as he was about to leave, I caught his jacket sleeve. And he just stopped. Huffing and puffing, I leaned my forehead on his back. "You've got it all wrong, Ryuichi…"
He turned around and smiled softly at me. Then, his lips moved to say, "Whatever makes you happy, Tatsuha."
I looked at him unable to speak.
"But tell me one thing…" his lips moved.
Doki doki doki…
It wasn't a question of why…
It wasn't a question of who did I love more…
He took a hold of my face and leaned towards my ear. Kissing my cheek, I then heard a whispery voice that could barely speak, "What did I do wrong, Tatsuha?"
Ryuichi then let go of me as I stood there with my head tilted as if I had been beaten to a senseless pulp.
Putting on his helmet, he left me with a nod.
I fell to my knees with a blank expression on my face.
Knowing how Touma was, I knew he was bowing towards Tsuki at that moment as he said, "I will take him back to Tokyo. Thank you for taking care of Tatsuha. I thank you from the both of us. And I'm sorry about my behavior."
I heard Tsuki answer, "No, I understand completely. It's all right. I'm sorry for everything also."
Tap, tap, tap.
When he walked in front of me, he closed his eyes in frustration as he took my arms to pull me up. I followed him wordlessly as I sat inside his car.
We drove all the way back without exchanging a word.
Getting back to Tokyo, Touma dropped me off in front of my hotel. "I'll be back in 2 hours. Fix up all your stuff because I'm taking you home with me all right?"
I nodded listlessly. I didn't really comprehend anything that was happening. I was just like a walking mannequin. I didn't want to feel anything anymore.
When Ryuichi whispered into my ear, I had turned to stone.
As I jammed the key into the door of the hotel room, I flicked up the light switch to find the room in disorder. I sighed as I walked through mounds of papers, clothing, and such scattered about.
I couldn't stand the silence of the night. So, I turned on the tv to find commercials on.
I laughed to myself. "I just want noise," I whispered to myself.
Then, I went into the bedroom. I watched the open window and turned on the light. This room was also in disarray.
My clothes were all over the room and I picked every article up. When I packed everything up quickly, I then fixed up the room.
When I went outside to just fix up before Touma came to pick me up, I then saw two announcers say, "And please give a round of applause to Sakuma Ryuichi-san!"
"Welcome back Sakuma-san! We're glad you're feeling better," the woman said.
He smiled his fabulous smile as if the world had not killed him yet. In fact, he was setting up the mic in front of him.
I shook my head. He can't sing yet.
He can barely talk.
What are you doing?
Then, I laughed hysterically to myself. Oh, that's right. Touma probably had something to do with this.
My head shook from side to side. Yes, that's it.
Ryuichi waved his hand and the audience loudly shouted in encouragement.
Then, Ryuichi closed his eyes as he said, "I had wanted to do this song at the concert first, but…" he smiled even more as he continued, "…promise me you'll come right?"
The audience shouted various phrases of support.
But his smile was off.
It wasn't the smile of my Ryuichi. That wasn't his smile at all.
He had reverted back to the time before he met me…
Those smiles that used to bother me…
"Touma-san, you are a genius," I commented as I blinked my eyes slowly.
That's a recording. I know Ryu's voice anywhere.
This was pre-recorded! To show that nothing was wrong!
To hide from the public what was really going on…
Damn, they're good.
Ryuichi then sat on a chair and pulled up an acoustic guitar to his lap. Closing his eyes, he tapped his feet to the beat. Then, he stopped tapping as he began to play and sing…
…and I dropped my things to the floor.
We hurt the ones we love the most…
We were doing a very good job of it.
His intense eyes came upon the screen as he again closed them tenderly while looking away from the television.
"[Whisper] When passion clashes with logic
What is left to desire?
When you love someone to the point of breaking…
Break me, baby.
I'm your toy, but please pretend you love me.
Why'd you tell me this?
Were you looking for my reaction
What do you need to know?
Don't you know I'll always be your boy
You don't have to prove to me you're beautiful to strangers
I've got loving eyes of my own
You belong to me
Tell her you were fooling
You don't even know her
Tell her that I love you
You belong to me
Can it be, baby, that you're not sure?
You belong to me
Thought we'd closed the book
Locked the door
You don't have to prove to me that you're beautiful to strangers
I've got loving eyes of my own
And I can tell - I can tell Baby
Tell her - tell her that I love you
You belong…you belong…you belong to me
(That's the way I thought it was)
Tell her you were fooling
(We no longer know the truth)
Tell her she don't even know you
(I know your every move and breath)
Tell her you were fooling
(Tell her you love me.)
I know you from a long time ago, baby
(I've watched you with my eyes)
Don't leave me to go to her now
(I thought nothing could break us)
You belong to me.
(I won't accept defeat.)
[whisper] When you said belong
I meant it was forever, Baby
But if you don't like my predilection
Then abuse me.
But I'll be coming back for more.
Because…
You belong - you belong - you belong to me
Tell her you were fooling
Tell her she don't even know you
Tell her you were fooling
I know you from a long time ago, baby
Don't leave me to go to her now
You belong to me."
The audience clapped very loudly as the male announcer said, "And that was Sakuma Ryuichi-san's rendition of the song 'You belong to me'."
I don't know how I did it, but I just looked around, took my stuff and walked up to the door.
"I have cancelled my concert…" he announced.
I left the television on unable to turn it off. Like a zombie, I took slow steps towards the door. Without warning and zoning everything out of my mind, I looked up to see Ryuichi coming through the door.
His downcast eyes stared at me like I was a ghost. As I dropped my stuff, I jumped into his arms and wrapped my arms around him. Closing my eyes and crying onto his shirt, I grabbed onto his back.
I then pushed him lightly away as I grabbed his collar in desparation. "Ryuichi…I love you…"
As I pulled him towards me, I grabbed the back of his head and pressed my lips to his.
When I let go, he stared at me. Then, he squinted his eyes.
"Get out…" Looking away from me, he harshly said, "Get out of my hotel room, Uesugi-san."
I looked from side to side.
"What are you waiting for?!" his whispery voice tried to shout. Taking my sleeve, he took my stuff and threw my bag out along with my whole body.
"I don't ever want to see you again." As he looked down at me, he sighed with thin lips. Then, he took a hold of collar.
"I've lost my will to sing."
At that, he threw me back down.
"I give up," his mouth tried to say.
But yet again, he had lost his voice because of me…
Click.
His quiet closing of the door was just as loud as if he had just slammed the damn thing in my face.
And I stood up dusting myself as I looked at his door. Then, I touched the door for a brief moment. Nodding my head, I then picked up my stuff. I walked in the opposite direction of the elevators and headed for the stairs.
"Please forgive me, Touma-san," I whispered as my voice echoed in the stairway.
Sakuma Ryuichi…
He wants to disappear from the music world…
My heart cringed. Then, I stopped going down the stairs as I leaned on the wall not being able to breathe.
"I've lost my Ryu," I whispered breathlessly not being able to cry.
Everyone always wondered what would happen if I was ever taken away from him.
No one ever thought about the other way around…
To be continued.
--
Author's note: Okay guys, I'm just going with the flow. Right now, I'm really really thinking about what's going to happen and how it will all pull off.
But one thing that really surprised me was that when I thought I'd be clobbered by readers for putting Tatsuha with someone else…well, it was actually quite interesting to you. * smiles *
And yes, those of you who read my eva fic 'you belong to me', originally, I wanted to use that song for this fic. I thought it would be perfect to see how the song differed in both situations.
As always, thanks for supporting this fic!! * smiles and points at her Chibi * Oh, and blame most of this fic on my inspiration. If it weren't for her telling me, "I read the prologue 9 times", I would have not made more chapters so soon.
Aching Desire
(Nagareboshi 3)
by miyamoto yui
Chapter 21 – we hurt the ones we love the most…
The determined look of intensity and anger instantly left when he mimed my name. And before I knew it, I found myself running after him. He picked up his helmet and walked away from me.
"Ryuichi! Ryuichi!" I shouted as I opened the heavy gate with my hands as he shook his head and sat on his bike.
When I opened the gate, he started up the motorcycle.
I ran towards him and as he was about to leave, I caught his jacket sleeve. And he just stopped. Huffing and puffing, I leaned my forehead on his back. "You've got it all wrong, Ryuichi…"
He turned around and smiled softly at me. Then, his lips moved to say, "Whatever makes you happy, Tatsuha."
I looked at him unable to speak.
"But tell me one thing…" his lips moved.
Doki doki doki…
It wasn't a question of why…
It wasn't a question of who did I love more…
He took a hold of my face and leaned towards my ear. Kissing my cheek, I then heard a whispery voice that could barely speak, "What did I do wrong, Tatsuha?"
Ryuichi then let go of me as I stood there with my head tilted as if I had been beaten to a senseless pulp.
Putting on his helmet, he left me with a nod.
I fell to my knees with a blank expression on my face.
Knowing how Touma was, I knew he was bowing towards Tsuki at that moment as he said, "I will take him back to Tokyo. Thank you for taking care of Tatsuha. I thank you from the both of us. And I'm sorry about my behavior."
I heard Tsuki answer, "No, I understand completely. It's all right. I'm sorry for everything also."
Tap, tap, tap.
When he walked in front of me, he closed his eyes in frustration as he took my arms to pull me up. I followed him wordlessly as I sat inside his car.
We drove all the way back without exchanging a word.
Getting back to Tokyo, Touma dropped me off in front of my hotel. "I'll be back in 2 hours. Fix up all your stuff because I'm taking you home with me all right?"
I nodded listlessly. I didn't really comprehend anything that was happening. I was just like a walking mannequin. I didn't want to feel anything anymore.
When Ryuichi whispered into my ear, I had turned to stone.
As I jammed the key into the door of the hotel room, I flicked up the light switch to find the room in disorder. I sighed as I walked through mounds of papers, clothing, and such scattered about.
I couldn't stand the silence of the night. So, I turned on the tv to find commercials on.
I laughed to myself. "I just want noise," I whispered to myself.
Then, I went into the bedroom. I watched the open window and turned on the light. This room was also in disarray.
My clothes were all over the room and I picked every article up. When I packed everything up quickly, I then fixed up the room.
When I went outside to just fix up before Touma came to pick me up, I then saw two announcers say, "And please give a round of applause to Sakuma Ryuichi-san!"
"Welcome back Sakuma-san! We're glad you're feeling better," the woman said.
He smiled his fabulous smile as if the world had not killed him yet. In fact, he was setting up the mic in front of him.
I shook my head. He can't sing yet.
He can barely talk.
What are you doing?
Then, I laughed hysterically to myself. Oh, that's right. Touma probably had something to do with this.
My head shook from side to side. Yes, that's it.
Ryuichi waved his hand and the audience loudly shouted in encouragement.
Then, Ryuichi closed his eyes as he said, "I had wanted to do this song at the concert first, but…" he smiled even more as he continued, "…promise me you'll come right?"
The audience shouted various phrases of support.
But his smile was off.
It wasn't the smile of my Ryuichi. That wasn't his smile at all.
He had reverted back to the time before he met me…
Those smiles that used to bother me…
"Touma-san, you are a genius," I commented as I blinked my eyes slowly.
That's a recording. I know Ryu's voice anywhere.
This was pre-recorded! To show that nothing was wrong!
To hide from the public what was really going on…
Damn, they're good.
Ryuichi then sat on a chair and pulled up an acoustic guitar to his lap. Closing his eyes, he tapped his feet to the beat. Then, he stopped tapping as he began to play and sing…
…and I dropped my things to the floor.
We hurt the ones we love the most…
We were doing a very good job of it.
His intense eyes came upon the screen as he again closed them tenderly while looking away from the television.
"[Whisper] When passion clashes with logic
What is left to desire?
When you love someone to the point of breaking…
Break me, baby.
I'm your toy, but please pretend you love me.
Why'd you tell me this?
Were you looking for my reaction
What do you need to know?
Don't you know I'll always be your boy
You don't have to prove to me you're beautiful to strangers
I've got loving eyes of my own
You belong to me
Tell her you were fooling
You don't even know her
Tell her that I love you
You belong to me
Can it be, baby, that you're not sure?
You belong to me
Thought we'd closed the book
Locked the door
You don't have to prove to me that you're beautiful to strangers
I've got loving eyes of my own
And I can tell - I can tell Baby
Tell her - tell her that I love you
You belong…you belong…you belong to me
(That's the way I thought it was)
Tell her you were fooling
(We no longer know the truth)
Tell her she don't even know you
(I know your every move and breath)
Tell her you were fooling
(Tell her you love me.)
I know you from a long time ago, baby
(I've watched you with my eyes)
Don't leave me to go to her now
(I thought nothing could break us)
You belong to me.
(I won't accept defeat.)
[whisper] When you said belong
I meant it was forever, Baby
But if you don't like my predilection
Then abuse me.
But I'll be coming back for more.
Because…
You belong - you belong - you belong to me
Tell her you were fooling
Tell her she don't even know you
Tell her you were fooling
I know you from a long time ago, baby
Don't leave me to go to her now
You belong to me."
The audience clapped very loudly as the male announcer said, "And that was Sakuma Ryuichi-san's rendition of the song 'You belong to me'."
I don't know how I did it, but I just looked around, took my stuff and walked up to the door.
"I have cancelled my concert…" he announced.
I left the television on unable to turn it off. Like a zombie, I took slow steps towards the door. Without warning and zoning everything out of my mind, I looked up to see Ryuichi coming through the door.
His downcast eyes stared at me like I was a ghost. As I dropped my stuff, I jumped into his arms and wrapped my arms around him. Closing my eyes and crying onto his shirt, I grabbed onto his back.
I then pushed him lightly away as I grabbed his collar in desparation. "Ryuichi…I love you…"
As I pulled him towards me, I grabbed the back of his head and pressed my lips to his.
When I let go, he stared at me. Then, he squinted his eyes.
"Get out…" Looking away from me, he harshly said, "Get out of my hotel room, Uesugi-san."
I looked from side to side.
"What are you waiting for?!" his whispery voice tried to shout. Taking my sleeve, he took my stuff and threw my bag out along with my whole body.
"I don't ever want to see you again." As he looked down at me, he sighed with thin lips. Then, he took a hold of collar.
"I've lost my will to sing."
At that, he threw me back down.
"I give up," his mouth tried to say.
But yet again, he had lost his voice because of me…
Click.
His quiet closing of the door was just as loud as if he had just slammed the damn thing in my face.
And I stood up dusting myself as I looked at his door. Then, I touched the door for a brief moment. Nodding my head, I then picked up my stuff. I walked in the opposite direction of the elevators and headed for the stairs.
"Please forgive me, Touma-san," I whispered as my voice echoed in the stairway.
Sakuma Ryuichi…
He wants to disappear from the music world…
My heart cringed. Then, I stopped going down the stairs as I leaned on the wall not being able to breathe.
"I've lost my Ryu," I whispered breathlessly not being able to cry.
Everyone always wondered what would happen if I was ever taken away from him.
No one ever thought about the other way around…
To be continued.
--
Author's note: Okay guys, I'm just going with the flow. Right now, I'm really really thinking about what's going to happen and how it will all pull off.
But one thing that really surprised me was that when I thought I'd be clobbered by readers for putting Tatsuha with someone else…well, it was actually quite interesting to you. * smiles *
And yes, those of you who read my eva fic 'you belong to me', originally, I wanted to use that song for this fic. I thought it would be perfect to see how the song differed in both situations.
As always, thanks for supporting this fic!! * smiles and points at her Chibi * Oh, and blame most of this fic on my inspiration. If it weren't for her telling me, "I read the prologue 9 times", I would have not made more chapters so soon.