Disclaimer: Yui doesn't own Gravitation.
Aching Desire
(Nagareboshi 3)
by Miyamoto Yui
Chapter 26 - "As long as you're mine. That's all that matters…"
I want to always be with you, Ryu.
"TATSUHAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
At that moment, my sleepy and teary-eyed face turned around to find Ryuichi running towards me. I smiled softly at him as I closed my eyes to jump off the ledge.
"This way, I can always be with you, Ryu. Don't you see?"
"NO!!!!! THAT'S NOT HOW IT SHOULD BE!!!!!" he shouted with all his heart.
At that moment, he grabbed my waist as I was about to shift my weight forward.
It wasn't at the call of my name that snapped me back to reality; it was his response to my mumbling of nonsense that was only logical to me.
Ryu was real…
He was in front of me trying to save me…
"Why can't it be that way, Ryu?" I then turned around as he pushed his lips on my chest. "Tell me."
"Tatsuha, it can't be that way." He shook his head from side to side as his shaky arms held onto me. "Remember what I said two years ago, 'I'd jump off the ledge for you too'."
Then, he said as if he were pleading, "No matter where you go, I'll go too."
"You won't forgive me now." I shook my head. "You shouldn't forgive me for what I'm about to tell you."
Letting go of my waist, he shook his head and answer persistently, "Try me."
"How did you find me?"
"Do you really think Touma-san would let you go so easily?"
I laughed as I nodded knowingly.
We were silent as the waves crashed below us.
"He was the one who dropped me off here."
"Touma-san did?"
Ryuichi nodded. Then, he looked away from me for a moment. He let out a deep breath as he said, "Let me tell you something that he and I've never told to anyone."
Slowly, I nodded my head in confusion. The stirring inside of myself started to settle and I began to become calm as things started to make more reasonable to me.
Then, he quietly told me, "Tatsuha, Touma and I used to be together."
I looked at him with wide eyes of shock. "Really?"
"Yes. Really." He sighed and I could tell it wasn't one of those that you give in exasperation.
It was one of frustrating and regret.
He continued, "It wasn't for very long though. Though we liked one another a lot and we were very quiet about it, he met someone whom he cared for even more than me. Like the way you and I are. That kind of care and affection."
"My sister…" I mumbled.
He sighed without an answer.
And somehow, it scared me because I had a feeling that wasn't his answer…
But also, I was scared of the truth if he told me what the real response was.
So, I kept quiet.
Then, he held out his arms out to me. "Now try me, Tatsuha. Tell me something that will change how I feel about you."
My heart beat the fastest it had ever done before. I cleared my throat, but I looked at him both in annoyance and pity. "Miyu Tsuki is carrying my child. So, I'm of course being forced to marry her."
But I looked at him in anger as I held my hands in fists, "But I'd rather…I'd rather do this…"
I was ashamed of myself.
I know this was very selfish, but I just couldn't take it anymore!!!!
Ryuichi's determined look stared back at me without blinking. He continued to keep his arms out to me. "I don't care. It won't change anything."
"Ryuichi…" I began to blink as tears began to fill my eyelids again.
[Note: Author is actually crying at this point on as she types.]
"Come here to me, my Baby."
It was then that I smiled at him and let myself fall into his warm arms while singing to his ear the last verse of Nagareboshi, "Catch me."
When he caught me, he held me and I wasn't touching the ground. His lips kissed my forehead as he said, "I know already. Tsuki had told me herself."
I opened my sore eyes in even more amazement. "You did?"
He nodded. "That's why my voice came back."
I laughed sheepishly.
At that moment, his voice wavered as he began to break down and actually cry. Holding me tighter, he whispered in an even lower tone to my ear. His breath on my cold ear made me want to melt.
That's how much I had ached for him to touch me.
Even his breath made me feel so much better.
He said, "I don't care as long as you're happy, Tatsuha. Even if it isn't with me, I want you to be alive."
I closed my eyes.
"What could make you think I don't love you enough to forgive you?"
"I betrayed you, Ryu. Though I didn't mean to."
He put me down as he sank to floor while holding my hips. Laying his forehead on my stomach, he closed his eyes as if he was praying.
We can't say 'I love you' anymore.
These are futile words to express anything between us…
When one meets the object of their affection, nothing seems impassible. Though, everything in reality, it is all barred.
And you will give up everything to reach them, even at the chance of never really touching them at all…
We are such a funny pair.
I wanted to die to become even a speck close to him…
To be able to just be with him.
"How did it all come to be like this?" I whispered almost inaudibly while my tears fell down on his hair.
Ryuichi held me even tighter. He then whispered sincerely and with much affection, "As long as you're mine. That's all that matters…"
What have I done to you, Ryuichi?
Was it better that you met me or not at all? I don't know the answer anymore…
While holding his shoulders, I cried even more at the man before me…
To be able to just keep me…
How desparately this god wanted to become an imperfect human…
To be continued…
--
Author's note: Yea!!! I just got Gravitation 12, X 18, and the second X anime series soundtrack! I'm very happy! My parents gave it to me as a present for doing all this stuff for the past two weeks and so I'm very happy! X 18…wah~! SUBARU!!!
And as for Gravi 12…hiro. @_@ I love his braid. WAI~! I screamed in my apartment and it was dead silent. ^^;;;
And I'm not an anime Yuki fan, but I like manga Yuki. But now, I've grown to love Yuki in general. The last picture in the Gravi 12 is now my favorite of him. Before it was the one with glasses with a profile shot because it reminded me of someone… ;_; He's so cute when Shuichi says, "Aishiteru, Yuki" and then Yuki puts down his sunglasses and smiles. * winces * That's like my favorite part in Zetsuai the oav! Okay, I'll stop rambling now.
* smiles * I love this fic. This and 'You Drive Me Crazy' have been the most fulfilling fanfics I've done so far. My emotions go up and down. I want to laugh, I want to cry, I want to kill characters, I think that people want to kill me…but all the while, I feel satisfied. I'm just happy that you guys are reacting to the fic strongly. I really didn't expect such a positive response to all the torture and angst I wrote. ^^;;;;;;
And the reason why I made the chapters longer was so that the fic wouldn't drag on. I hope you guys aren't bored yet. ^^;;;
Aching Desire
(Nagareboshi 3)
by Miyamoto Yui
Chapter 26 - "As long as you're mine. That's all that matters…"
I want to always be with you, Ryu.
"TATSUHAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
At that moment, my sleepy and teary-eyed face turned around to find Ryuichi running towards me. I smiled softly at him as I closed my eyes to jump off the ledge.
"This way, I can always be with you, Ryu. Don't you see?"
"NO!!!!! THAT'S NOT HOW IT SHOULD BE!!!!!" he shouted with all his heart.
At that moment, he grabbed my waist as I was about to shift my weight forward.
It wasn't at the call of my name that snapped me back to reality; it was his response to my mumbling of nonsense that was only logical to me.
Ryu was real…
He was in front of me trying to save me…
"Why can't it be that way, Ryu?" I then turned around as he pushed his lips on my chest. "Tell me."
"Tatsuha, it can't be that way." He shook his head from side to side as his shaky arms held onto me. "Remember what I said two years ago, 'I'd jump off the ledge for you too'."
Then, he said as if he were pleading, "No matter where you go, I'll go too."
"You won't forgive me now." I shook my head. "You shouldn't forgive me for what I'm about to tell you."
Letting go of my waist, he shook his head and answer persistently, "Try me."
"How did you find me?"
"Do you really think Touma-san would let you go so easily?"
I laughed as I nodded knowingly.
We were silent as the waves crashed below us.
"He was the one who dropped me off here."
"Touma-san did?"
Ryuichi nodded. Then, he looked away from me for a moment. He let out a deep breath as he said, "Let me tell you something that he and I've never told to anyone."
Slowly, I nodded my head in confusion. The stirring inside of myself started to settle and I began to become calm as things started to make more reasonable to me.
Then, he quietly told me, "Tatsuha, Touma and I used to be together."
I looked at him with wide eyes of shock. "Really?"
"Yes. Really." He sighed and I could tell it wasn't one of those that you give in exasperation.
It was one of frustrating and regret.
He continued, "It wasn't for very long though. Though we liked one another a lot and we were very quiet about it, he met someone whom he cared for even more than me. Like the way you and I are. That kind of care and affection."
"My sister…" I mumbled.
He sighed without an answer.
And somehow, it scared me because I had a feeling that wasn't his answer…
But also, I was scared of the truth if he told me what the real response was.
So, I kept quiet.
Then, he held out his arms out to me. "Now try me, Tatsuha. Tell me something that will change how I feel about you."
My heart beat the fastest it had ever done before. I cleared my throat, but I looked at him both in annoyance and pity. "Miyu Tsuki is carrying my child. So, I'm of course being forced to marry her."
But I looked at him in anger as I held my hands in fists, "But I'd rather…I'd rather do this…"
I was ashamed of myself.
I know this was very selfish, but I just couldn't take it anymore!!!!
Ryuichi's determined look stared back at me without blinking. He continued to keep his arms out to me. "I don't care. It won't change anything."
"Ryuichi…" I began to blink as tears began to fill my eyelids again.
[Note: Author is actually crying at this point on as she types.]
"Come here to me, my Baby."
It was then that I smiled at him and let myself fall into his warm arms while singing to his ear the last verse of Nagareboshi, "Catch me."
When he caught me, he held me and I wasn't touching the ground. His lips kissed my forehead as he said, "I know already. Tsuki had told me herself."
I opened my sore eyes in even more amazement. "You did?"
He nodded. "That's why my voice came back."
I laughed sheepishly.
At that moment, his voice wavered as he began to break down and actually cry. Holding me tighter, he whispered in an even lower tone to my ear. His breath on my cold ear made me want to melt.
That's how much I had ached for him to touch me.
Even his breath made me feel so much better.
He said, "I don't care as long as you're happy, Tatsuha. Even if it isn't with me, I want you to be alive."
I closed my eyes.
"What could make you think I don't love you enough to forgive you?"
"I betrayed you, Ryu. Though I didn't mean to."
He put me down as he sank to floor while holding my hips. Laying his forehead on my stomach, he closed his eyes as if he was praying.
We can't say 'I love you' anymore.
These are futile words to express anything between us…
When one meets the object of their affection, nothing seems impassible. Though, everything in reality, it is all barred.
And you will give up everything to reach them, even at the chance of never really touching them at all…
We are such a funny pair.
I wanted to die to become even a speck close to him…
To be able to just be with him.
"How did it all come to be like this?" I whispered almost inaudibly while my tears fell down on his hair.
Ryuichi held me even tighter. He then whispered sincerely and with much affection, "As long as you're mine. That's all that matters…"
What have I done to you, Ryuichi?
Was it better that you met me or not at all? I don't know the answer anymore…
While holding his shoulders, I cried even more at the man before me…
To be able to just keep me…
How desparately this god wanted to become an imperfect human…
To be continued…
--
Author's note: Yea!!! I just got Gravitation 12, X 18, and the second X anime series soundtrack! I'm very happy! My parents gave it to me as a present for doing all this stuff for the past two weeks and so I'm very happy! X 18…wah~! SUBARU!!!
And as for Gravi 12…hiro. @_@ I love his braid. WAI~! I screamed in my apartment and it was dead silent. ^^;;;
And I'm not an anime Yuki fan, but I like manga Yuki. But now, I've grown to love Yuki in general. The last picture in the Gravi 12 is now my favorite of him. Before it was the one with glasses with a profile shot because it reminded me of someone… ;_; He's so cute when Shuichi says, "Aishiteru, Yuki" and then Yuki puts down his sunglasses and smiles. * winces * That's like my favorite part in Zetsuai the oav! Okay, I'll stop rambling now.
* smiles * I love this fic. This and 'You Drive Me Crazy' have been the most fulfilling fanfics I've done so far. My emotions go up and down. I want to laugh, I want to cry, I want to kill characters, I think that people want to kill me…but all the while, I feel satisfied. I'm just happy that you guys are reacting to the fic strongly. I really didn't expect such a positive response to all the torture and angst I wrote. ^^;;;;;;
And the reason why I made the chapters longer was so that the fic wouldn't drag on. I hope you guys aren't bored yet. ^^;;;