Disclaimer: Gravitation is made by Murakami Maki-sensei. I write this in deep appreciation and love for her and her characters. I hope that you enjoy this fanfic with as much love as I give it.
Aching Desire
(Nagareboshi 3)
by Miyamoto Yui
Chapter 30 – Liar.
"Ryuichi. Dousurebaii?" I hung onto one side of his bed while lightly holding his fingers. Then, I placed my head on his shoulder and whispered to his ear. "Oshiete."
I closed my eyes as I kissed his ear.
My tears betrayed me even more as my right hand clenched onto his sheet. "I can't stand to see you this way, Ryuichi…"
My voice became desparate and I felt that I was losing him in seconds as time ticked away. I gulped as my chest became heavy.
I took a deep breath almost forgetting that you had to breath in order to stay alive.
I shook my head slowly. "I won't ask for anything else. Just tell me you're all right."
I took long, deep breaths, but I found myself lying my head on his shoulder as if we could both fit on that bed together. And if he weren't so sick, he'd probably challenge himself and take me here.
I smiled slightly at the thought. At my hope.
"I love you, Ryu…" I then took my head up and looked at him. Leaning forward, I tasted his lips.
His kiss…
It always tasted like sweet candy. A lime lollipop to be exact.
But now, it was mixed with a taste of blood because of his cuts.
"Don't leave me," I said with hand clenching onto his sheet again.
But as soon as I said that, I started to feel angry towards him. I was mad at him for going to extremes and at myself for being so stubborn. And yet, these were things that made us crazy for one another.
"You said you wouldn't you ever leave me!" I found myself shouting. Then, I let go of the sheet and stepped slowly away from his bed.
With closed eyes filled with tears, like a child, I shouted with all my hurt, "LIAR!"
My heart felt like it was being slashed through.
Scar upon scar.
Shh, shh.
As I was about to turn around, Ryuichi's right hand fell off the bed.
"Ryuichi?" My eyes widened as I saw a piece of paper fall noisily to the ground.
Flap, flap, flap.
I kneeled down and picked it up as well as placed his arm next to him. As I stood up straight, I unfolded this strangely folded paper feeling as if it was familiar to me.
As I unfolded it, my lips quivered. And I closed my eyes for a moment to see if this was true.
These words…
"How did you ever get this?" I looked at the paper and at him in disbelief.
[flashback]
"This is so stupid," I said to myself as I slumped to the floor of my bedroom. "Why am I writing this? This is so dumb."
I looked at the growing pile of unfinished fan letters to Ryuichi. And I wondered why the heck would he listen to a twelve year old in the first place.
"I think you're really cool…" I mumbled as I wrote it down.
Scribble, scribble.
Crunch.
"ARGH!" I crumpled it in between my hands and threw it into the trashcan. "That's not what I want to say. I want to say more!"
I sighed as I tapped my pencil on the desk. "But if I put more, it'll sound like a love letter."
My heart began to beat fast as the times I watched his videos. Or sang his songs.
My eyes looked to the ground as I folded my hands somewhat after putting my pencil down. I turned around and leaned back to watch the window with the moonlight shining upon it.
"Maybe it is," I smiled softly to myself.
I looked at the poster hanging on the wall. The one where his hands reached out to you with those eyes that seemed as if they could eat you alive.
I was feeling guilty.
Was I supposed to feel that way? Was this normal?
It was on that night that I wrote a poem about Ryuichi to Ryuichi. Only, I never sent it. Why? I lost it.
The next day, I accidentally wandered into his room. And I blushed crimson with guilt at what I had just done the night before.
He smiled at me…
Selfishly, I wanted to keep that smile all to myself.
I stared at the poster in front of me and knew that it was nothing compared to the real thing. The beauty I had seen in his full, flesh form…
It was then that I knew that I had to find some way to reach Ryuichi…
Even if it was impossible.
[flashback end]
I looked at Ryuichi and was startled to find him blinking in my direction. As if he were laughing, he smiled weakly at me.
"You're so noisy," he laughed in fake annoyance. "And just _who_ are you calling a liar, Tatsu? Ore?"
I shook my head and cried all over again as I tried my best to hug him while kissing him.
While coughing, he held onto me and sang,
"Can't get enough.
Don't let me down.
One more night."
"I never lie," he firmly said at the end of the song.
Then, he looked around worriedly.
Only that one time when he thought I was leaving him after we made love did he ever give that look.
"Where was it? The thing I was holding?" he asked breathlessly.
"This?" I rose it up to his face.
"That's my good luck charm." He smiled as he closed his eyes.
I nodded. "But how did you get it?"
He ignored my question as he took my hand and kissed the palm. "Take care of your father and Tsuki."
My eyebrows touched as I shook my head. "Don't you dare talk to me that way, Ryu."
Ryuichi reached out his hands as he caught my face and kissed me tenderly. We then opened our eyes and looked at one another.
"Don't worry, Tatsu. I won't ever leave you." Ryu whispered to me. Then, he laughed, "You've got to give me at least that much credit."
I smiled back at him; but at that moment, Ryu's hands fell from my face.
"Ryu?" My face became pale as I blinked trying to deny what was happening. I took him into my arms and looked around in alarm with no words coming out of my mouth.
He was unconscious again.
As I took my hands away from his back, I stared in horror at the red tint spray painted on them.
"RYU!!"
Author's note: Oh my. I h-hope you guys aren't crying as much as I am. * blows nose *
Dousurebaii – what should I do?
Oshiete – tell me.
Aching Desire
(Nagareboshi 3)
by Miyamoto Yui
Chapter 30 – Liar.
"Ryuichi. Dousurebaii?" I hung onto one side of his bed while lightly holding his fingers. Then, I placed my head on his shoulder and whispered to his ear. "Oshiete."
I closed my eyes as I kissed his ear.
My tears betrayed me even more as my right hand clenched onto his sheet. "I can't stand to see you this way, Ryuichi…"
My voice became desparate and I felt that I was losing him in seconds as time ticked away. I gulped as my chest became heavy.
I took a deep breath almost forgetting that you had to breath in order to stay alive.
I shook my head slowly. "I won't ask for anything else. Just tell me you're all right."
I took long, deep breaths, but I found myself lying my head on his shoulder as if we could both fit on that bed together. And if he weren't so sick, he'd probably challenge himself and take me here.
I smiled slightly at the thought. At my hope.
"I love you, Ryu…" I then took my head up and looked at him. Leaning forward, I tasted his lips.
His kiss…
It always tasted like sweet candy. A lime lollipop to be exact.
But now, it was mixed with a taste of blood because of his cuts.
"Don't leave me," I said with hand clenching onto his sheet again.
But as soon as I said that, I started to feel angry towards him. I was mad at him for going to extremes and at myself for being so stubborn. And yet, these were things that made us crazy for one another.
"You said you wouldn't you ever leave me!" I found myself shouting. Then, I let go of the sheet and stepped slowly away from his bed.
With closed eyes filled with tears, like a child, I shouted with all my hurt, "LIAR!"
My heart felt like it was being slashed through.
Scar upon scar.
Shh, shh.
As I was about to turn around, Ryuichi's right hand fell off the bed.
"Ryuichi?" My eyes widened as I saw a piece of paper fall noisily to the ground.
Flap, flap, flap.
I kneeled down and picked it up as well as placed his arm next to him. As I stood up straight, I unfolded this strangely folded paper feeling as if it was familiar to me.
As I unfolded it, my lips quivered. And I closed my eyes for a moment to see if this was true.
These words…
"How did you ever get this?" I looked at the paper and at him in disbelief.
[flashback]
"This is so stupid," I said to myself as I slumped to the floor of my bedroom. "Why am I writing this? This is so dumb."
I looked at the growing pile of unfinished fan letters to Ryuichi. And I wondered why the heck would he listen to a twelve year old in the first place.
"I think you're really cool…" I mumbled as I wrote it down.
Scribble, scribble.
Crunch.
"ARGH!" I crumpled it in between my hands and threw it into the trashcan. "That's not what I want to say. I want to say more!"
I sighed as I tapped my pencil on the desk. "But if I put more, it'll sound like a love letter."
My heart began to beat fast as the times I watched his videos. Or sang his songs.
My eyes looked to the ground as I folded my hands somewhat after putting my pencil down. I turned around and leaned back to watch the window with the moonlight shining upon it.
"Maybe it is," I smiled softly to myself.
I looked at the poster hanging on the wall. The one where his hands reached out to you with those eyes that seemed as if they could eat you alive.
I was feeling guilty.
Was I supposed to feel that way? Was this normal?
It was on that night that I wrote a poem about Ryuichi to Ryuichi. Only, I never sent it. Why? I lost it.
The next day, I accidentally wandered into his room. And I blushed crimson with guilt at what I had just done the night before.
He smiled at me…
Selfishly, I wanted to keep that smile all to myself.
I stared at the poster in front of me and knew that it was nothing compared to the real thing. The beauty I had seen in his full, flesh form…
It was then that I knew that I had to find some way to reach Ryuichi…
Even if it was impossible.
[flashback end]
I looked at Ryuichi and was startled to find him blinking in my direction. As if he were laughing, he smiled weakly at me.
"You're so noisy," he laughed in fake annoyance. "And just _who_ are you calling a liar, Tatsu? Ore?"
I shook my head and cried all over again as I tried my best to hug him while kissing him.
While coughing, he held onto me and sang,
"Can't get enough.
Don't let me down.
One more night."
"I never lie," he firmly said at the end of the song.
Then, he looked around worriedly.
Only that one time when he thought I was leaving him after we made love did he ever give that look.
"Where was it? The thing I was holding?" he asked breathlessly.
"This?" I rose it up to his face.
"That's my good luck charm." He smiled as he closed his eyes.
I nodded. "But how did you get it?"
He ignored my question as he took my hand and kissed the palm. "Take care of your father and Tsuki."
My eyebrows touched as I shook my head. "Don't you dare talk to me that way, Ryu."
Ryuichi reached out his hands as he caught my face and kissed me tenderly. We then opened our eyes and looked at one another.
"Don't worry, Tatsu. I won't ever leave you." Ryu whispered to me. Then, he laughed, "You've got to give me at least that much credit."
I smiled back at him; but at that moment, Ryu's hands fell from my face.
"Ryu?" My face became pale as I blinked trying to deny what was happening. I took him into my arms and looked around in alarm with no words coming out of my mouth.
He was unconscious again.
As I took my hands away from his back, I stared in horror at the red tint spray painted on them.
"RYU!!"
Author's note: Oh my. I h-hope you guys aren't crying as much as I am. * blows nose *
Dousurebaii – what should I do?
Oshiete – tell me.