Disclaimer: Gravi is by Murakami-sensei.
Aching Desire
(Nagareboshi 3)
by Miyamoto Yui
Chapter 31 – anti-nostalgic.
"Tatsuha-kun?! Open the door!" someone shouted outside and I gasped forgetting that I had locked the door…
…contemplating of killing Ryuichi and myself in a mad rush…
Jab, jab, jab.
"Please open the door or else the hospital will have to call the police and you'll be restrained from seeing Ryuichi. Is that what you want?!"
"Not see Ryuichi?" I whispered in my confusion as I found my voice again.
Letting go of Ryuichi, I walked to the door and opened it. Nurses came in with a doctor as Hiro took a hold of my shoulders and shook me.
"What are you _thinking_, Tatsuha?!" he shouted with his hands grasping onto my clothing in frustration.
"I…I…" I looked at him not really knowing what I was saying because of shock and sleep-deprivation.
He then bent his head down and sighed in relief. "Thank goodness you're all right."
The nurses then said, "Please leave the room for a while. We have to check up on him."
We went out and wandered to the cafeteria. I sat on a chair and Hiro got us coffee. As soon as he pulled his seat up, he sighed. Pushing the cup towards me, he patted my head.
"Suguru would have come too, but he's very occupied right now in a meeting. He's standing in as Touma-san's representative."
"Ah." I nodded as I took a sip on my coffee and placed it back on the table.
Hiro sighed again. "You and Shuichi are alike."
"You always say that," I laughed as I shook from nervousness while holding my cup with both of my hands.
"Remember, before you, Shuichi, and I became best friends, I was the one stuck with Shuichi first." He laughed to himself as he drank his coffee.
He said it in jest. 'Stuck', he says.
But I knew. From the first time I saw that certain look in Hiro's eyes, I had figured it out. Shuichi had run into Hiro's arms shouting that he had finished his lyrics. Hiro was smiling and laughing while saying that he was so proud of him. But as soon as Shuichi went back to Aniki, Hiro's look betrayed him.
For a second, I saw his longing…the same as my own as I had watched Ryuichi recording later on. Or rather, the crushed face I had whenever I looked at Ryuichi's poster wondering what was the matter with me for loving someone that I shouldn't.
Though, I would never admit this to Hiro, Suguru, or Shuichi.
"Everyone's worried about you, Tatsuha-kun. And Shuichi has been very loud about it. He's even in another slump." He pressed his fingers on his head in annoyance. "And you know how hard it is already for him."
"We're no different." I slumped in my chair and sighed loudly. "Ryuichi…what if-"
"Don't even _think_ about it," he said as he finished his coffee and firmly planted it on the table with a soft tap.
But I knew, he was frustrated at seeing us all this way. He was always that sensitive.
If it hurt someone he cared about, it became personal to the point that you wish he were blind to not read anything or anyone so well.
You could not get anything past Hiro. He was just like Aniki that way.
They only let you do what you wanted, as long as you didn't take it too far.
Because if you did, they'd put you back in your place.
Only, Hiro was much 'sweeter' and more gentle in this sense…
At that moment, his tone softened and became calm as he had always been. "Tatsuha, do you believe in Ryuichi?"
I gave him an incredulously look. "Of course I do! What kind of question is that?"
"Then show him you do." He looked at me with thoughtful eyes full of strength.
"I am!"
"Are you sure?" His eyebrow rose.
I was grinning a bit. Hiro being with Suguru had made him even more shrewd.
"Yes," I calmly answered while drinking my coffee again. "It's just that-"
"You don't know what the hell do, right?" He then smiled and shook his head. "You and Shuichi. Always the same question."
"I'm not going to tell you what to do," he continued. "But, remember this, Tatsuha. You and Ryuichi have something that no one could ever break. It can't be filled with any kind of insecurity. Ryuichi has told and shown you that."
"Hiro…"
"He's stubborn like a kid that way. Reminds me of certain people…" his look became strange once more. The same as when Shuichi let go of him and went to my Aniki.
Then, he smiled again as he pushed his seat and got up. He patted my head once more. "I'm going to go smoke outside."
I nodded as I caught his hand in mid-air. "Thanks, Hiro."
He poked me on the forehead playfully and smiled with assurance. "You go and do what you have to do. Why? Because Ryuichi can't die if you're not there to meet him."
Looking deeply into my eyes, he told me, "You can't love someone that much and let them down. It just doesn't work that way. Despite any circumstances."
I gave him a wistful smile as I blinked my eyes trying so hard not to cry. "You always know what to say and do, don't you, Hiro?"
I let go of his hand.
"Nope." He glanced down at me. "If I did, I wouldn't love 'Anti-Nostalgic' as much as I do."
He then turned around and headed out the door into the patio.
You come all the way here to tell me this…
You're just as crazy as we are, just not as demonstrative or vocal.
Yes, I've always known why Shuichi loved you just as much…
You're always trying to cover up with your cool and quiet attitude all the disorder that Shuichi gives to your life.
"I know," I said after him. "I've always known."
The time when Shuichi started talking to Aniki about his lyrics, Hiro was practicing his guitar. He started to play "Anti-Nostalgic".
Aniki gave him a knowing look, but Shuichi was oblivious to this silent fight.
Hiro looked at Aniki and tapped his foot to the song. He was good at acting his part as the dutiful best friend. Hiro didn't give any indication of doing it on purpose.
Even I was confused on what was going on.
"Toumei ga…" Hiro began to sing.
Shuichi then ran to Hiro and sang along with him…
That was the only thing that could capture Shuichi.
His song. Hiro's quiet feelings without a prayer or a true voice to tell the person he truly cared for. He could only camouflage it in a song so that Shuichi would never figure it out.
I took the last sip of my coffee, got up and threw away the cup into the trashcan.
I had to find the words that would make me just as strong as Hiro.
I had to believe in Ryuichi…
Clenching my hands as I left the cafeteria, I pointed myself towards the entrance of the hospital.
I was going to pay a visit to my father.
Tsuzuku…
--
Author's note: Okay, finally, I got Hiro in here! Yahoo~!
I tried to bring the Gravi characters together as much as I could. Even if they didn't appear as long as they could have, they were still very important to Tatsuha's 'journey to the end of this fic'.
And yes! I'm out of the slump!!!! I know the ending to this fic!!!!
(BTW, if you ever need the translation to Anti-Nostalgic, I made one, but I forgot to give it to anime lyrics.com, I think…)
toumei - transparent
Aching Desire
(Nagareboshi 3)
by Miyamoto Yui
Chapter 31 – anti-nostalgic.
"Tatsuha-kun?! Open the door!" someone shouted outside and I gasped forgetting that I had locked the door…
…contemplating of killing Ryuichi and myself in a mad rush…
Jab, jab, jab.
"Please open the door or else the hospital will have to call the police and you'll be restrained from seeing Ryuichi. Is that what you want?!"
"Not see Ryuichi?" I whispered in my confusion as I found my voice again.
Letting go of Ryuichi, I walked to the door and opened it. Nurses came in with a doctor as Hiro took a hold of my shoulders and shook me.
"What are you _thinking_, Tatsuha?!" he shouted with his hands grasping onto my clothing in frustration.
"I…I…" I looked at him not really knowing what I was saying because of shock and sleep-deprivation.
He then bent his head down and sighed in relief. "Thank goodness you're all right."
The nurses then said, "Please leave the room for a while. We have to check up on him."
We went out and wandered to the cafeteria. I sat on a chair and Hiro got us coffee. As soon as he pulled his seat up, he sighed. Pushing the cup towards me, he patted my head.
"Suguru would have come too, but he's very occupied right now in a meeting. He's standing in as Touma-san's representative."
"Ah." I nodded as I took a sip on my coffee and placed it back on the table.
Hiro sighed again. "You and Shuichi are alike."
"You always say that," I laughed as I shook from nervousness while holding my cup with both of my hands.
"Remember, before you, Shuichi, and I became best friends, I was the one stuck with Shuichi first." He laughed to himself as he drank his coffee.
He said it in jest. 'Stuck', he says.
But I knew. From the first time I saw that certain look in Hiro's eyes, I had figured it out. Shuichi had run into Hiro's arms shouting that he had finished his lyrics. Hiro was smiling and laughing while saying that he was so proud of him. But as soon as Shuichi went back to Aniki, Hiro's look betrayed him.
For a second, I saw his longing…the same as my own as I had watched Ryuichi recording later on. Or rather, the crushed face I had whenever I looked at Ryuichi's poster wondering what was the matter with me for loving someone that I shouldn't.
Though, I would never admit this to Hiro, Suguru, or Shuichi.
"Everyone's worried about you, Tatsuha-kun. And Shuichi has been very loud about it. He's even in another slump." He pressed his fingers on his head in annoyance. "And you know how hard it is already for him."
"We're no different." I slumped in my chair and sighed loudly. "Ryuichi…what if-"
"Don't even _think_ about it," he said as he finished his coffee and firmly planted it on the table with a soft tap.
But I knew, he was frustrated at seeing us all this way. He was always that sensitive.
If it hurt someone he cared about, it became personal to the point that you wish he were blind to not read anything or anyone so well.
You could not get anything past Hiro. He was just like Aniki that way.
They only let you do what you wanted, as long as you didn't take it too far.
Because if you did, they'd put you back in your place.
Only, Hiro was much 'sweeter' and more gentle in this sense…
At that moment, his tone softened and became calm as he had always been. "Tatsuha, do you believe in Ryuichi?"
I gave him an incredulously look. "Of course I do! What kind of question is that?"
"Then show him you do." He looked at me with thoughtful eyes full of strength.
"I am!"
"Are you sure?" His eyebrow rose.
I was grinning a bit. Hiro being with Suguru had made him even more shrewd.
"Yes," I calmly answered while drinking my coffee again. "It's just that-"
"You don't know what the hell do, right?" He then smiled and shook his head. "You and Shuichi. Always the same question."
"I'm not going to tell you what to do," he continued. "But, remember this, Tatsuha. You and Ryuichi have something that no one could ever break. It can't be filled with any kind of insecurity. Ryuichi has told and shown you that."
"Hiro…"
"He's stubborn like a kid that way. Reminds me of certain people…" his look became strange once more. The same as when Shuichi let go of him and went to my Aniki.
Then, he smiled again as he pushed his seat and got up. He patted my head once more. "I'm going to go smoke outside."
I nodded as I caught his hand in mid-air. "Thanks, Hiro."
He poked me on the forehead playfully and smiled with assurance. "You go and do what you have to do. Why? Because Ryuichi can't die if you're not there to meet him."
Looking deeply into my eyes, he told me, "You can't love someone that much and let them down. It just doesn't work that way. Despite any circumstances."
I gave him a wistful smile as I blinked my eyes trying so hard not to cry. "You always know what to say and do, don't you, Hiro?"
I let go of his hand.
"Nope." He glanced down at me. "If I did, I wouldn't love 'Anti-Nostalgic' as much as I do."
He then turned around and headed out the door into the patio.
You come all the way here to tell me this…
You're just as crazy as we are, just not as demonstrative or vocal.
Yes, I've always known why Shuichi loved you just as much…
You're always trying to cover up with your cool and quiet attitude all the disorder that Shuichi gives to your life.
"I know," I said after him. "I've always known."
The time when Shuichi started talking to Aniki about his lyrics, Hiro was practicing his guitar. He started to play "Anti-Nostalgic".
Aniki gave him a knowing look, but Shuichi was oblivious to this silent fight.
Hiro looked at Aniki and tapped his foot to the song. He was good at acting his part as the dutiful best friend. Hiro didn't give any indication of doing it on purpose.
Even I was confused on what was going on.
"Toumei ga…" Hiro began to sing.
Shuichi then ran to Hiro and sang along with him…
That was the only thing that could capture Shuichi.
His song. Hiro's quiet feelings without a prayer or a true voice to tell the person he truly cared for. He could only camouflage it in a song so that Shuichi would never figure it out.
I took the last sip of my coffee, got up and threw away the cup into the trashcan.
I had to find the words that would make me just as strong as Hiro.
I had to believe in Ryuichi…
Clenching my hands as I left the cafeteria, I pointed myself towards the entrance of the hospital.
I was going to pay a visit to my father.
Tsuzuku…
--
Author's note: Okay, finally, I got Hiro in here! Yahoo~!
I tried to bring the Gravi characters together as much as I could. Even if they didn't appear as long as they could have, they were still very important to Tatsuha's 'journey to the end of this fic'.
And yes! I'm out of the slump!!!! I know the ending to this fic!!!!
(BTW, if you ever need the translation to Anti-Nostalgic, I made one, but I forgot to give it to anime lyrics.com, I think…)
toumei - transparent