Disclaimer: Gravitation is by Maki Murakami-sensei. I love Ryuichi, so I write about him. I've learned to love Tatsuha along the way.
Aching Desire
(Nagareboshi 3)
By Miyamoto Yui
Chapter 32 – Kimi Ni. (To You.)
Idiots never think about their physical pain when they're distracted. I forgot about my rib in all the commotion.
But as soon as I called for Makoto to come pick me up, it came back relentlessly. And the blood was stiffening coldly.
I wondered if I had stained Aniki's car or Ryuichi's shirt with my blood.
Makoto pulled up, but I held my hand up. The one still painted with my Ryu's blood.
Grim, wasn't it?
I was not ashamed to show how far I had to go to make my point.
I did the easy part…it was Ryuichi who did all the special tricks to get me to wherever I needed to go.
I went into the car and stared at the mirror as Makoto looked back at me just as long.
He knew there was something different.
I did too.
I knew what I was doing.
In all these weeks of pandemonium, I finally saw where I was going and what I needed to do in order to get there.
I laughed to myself as the car drove onto the main road. Rolling down my window, I smiled.
How easily Hiro had answered my questions.
But how could I have expected less from him?
"How is my father?" I asked with concern as if this whole mess had never happened.
"He's still hanging in there." Makoto turned the corner. "He's still breathing for one thing."
"Just as sarcastic as always," I commented and sighed in relief. "I'm glad."
"Touma-san has left the house."
I glanced in his direction. "And Sakano-san?"
"Left with Touma-san."
I nodded.
It might as well have been that way. If things had gotten out of hand and Sakano-san wasn't there to mediate what he did, I would have been very afraid.
I looked at my side. The one that Touma marked on.
I deserved it.
It just made me more determined.
I patted Makoto's shoulder. "You're always the go-betweener," I sighed.
"It's all part of the job."
With that, he glanced at the window. Showing some other face than a poker one made me worry.
"What do you know about Aniki and Touma-san?" I blurted out.
Silence.
I hadn't expected an answer anyway.
***
When we pulled up, I let myself out as Makoto opened the front gate and motioned for me to go inside. Without anyone following me, I made my way to my father's room without hesitation.
I wasn't going to scream.
I wasn't going to prove to him what had changed in me.
I was going there as his son.
Even if I had disowned myself.
Knock, knock.
"Come in," said one of the maids named Irene.
As I opened the door, she nodded her head at me and looked at my father.
"Can I be alone with my father?" I asked as I watched her tuck him safely into his bed with a large comforter snuggling his body.
The one masked with an oxygen tank next to him.
My father's dark eyes weakly looked at me. He nodded his head a bit and Irene left with a bow while closing the door behind her.
My opening line: "I don't want to fight anymore, Father."
I walked towards him while still watching him watching me as he breathed heavily. "I've had enough of this. Please…"
He blinked his eyes as he patted my hand. Father then pointed his finger at his desk.
I walked over to the desk and picked up the note done on a stationary that had been custom-made by yours truly on Father's day when I was in Kindergarten.
Everyone's just out to make me cry with what I gave them a long time ago, aren't they?
It was one where I drew all these black and white Go pieces because I didn't know how to draw at the time. The only thing I could do was think of 'Daddy's favorite game'.
In my father's writing, it said,
"Dear Tatsuha,
If you ever had to read this, then again I believe that there must have been a damn good reason for it. I had chosen to keep this quiet all these years and even your mother only knows tidbits of it. Only what I've told her.
But I'm telling this to you because I see that you're heading the same direction as someone I once knew. You think that I don't understand when in fact, I may know more than I'd like to disclose.
(Aniki did inherit his bluntness, I must say. They speak the same way.)
Because you are the youngest, the heir, and my most treasured child (don't tell your brother or sister that * ha ha *), I'm telling you something that only two people in the world know.
And now, you.
I made this tape along with this letter so that someday, if I couldn't ever tell you to your face, I hope you'd forgive me for what I've done. Sincerely, your father."
I glanced at the old cassette player I used to own. The blackness mixed with so many scratch marks. I wondered how it had lasted this long with all my abuse and Ryuichi's singing.
I put the tape into the deck and adjusted the volume. Then, I sat on the chair next to my father not knowing what to expect.
I, at first, expected that it would be my father's voice. But no, it was a song playing with a man's soothing voice singing,
"While the rain was pouring, I thought of you.
You were whispering to me.
I looked around and you disappeared,
But I still can hear your voice.
'Why did you do it? What were you thinking?'
I told the boy when he asked me,
'I'll never come again.'
Never looking back at him,
It's a world that has separated us,
We've got to go back to reality.
Pushing the crowd of people,
I knew what you were wondering,
'Why did we ever fall for one another
when it was destined to fall apart?'
I wondered what the hell was happening,
When I began to sing and looked your way
You gave me a cruel look,
I wanted to tear it off.
Then you come and visit me,
Telling me you're my fan.
'Why are you telling me this? Aren't you ashamed?'
And you looked at me to say,
"Why would I be?"
Never looking back at him,
It's a world that has separated us,
We've got to go back to reality.
Pushing the crowd of people,
I knew what you were wondering,
'Why did we even fall for one another
when it was destined to fall apart?'
[instrumental]
Just fade away.
Can that happen so easily?
Kept the secret from leaking endlessly,
I told you I would forget you.
You told me I was weak,
And you were so right.
You never looked back at me again.
It's this world that has separated us,
We've got to go back to where we come from.
Pushing through the crowd of people,
You knew what I was saying,
'It's easier to kill yourself
than for me to tell you what I did.'
Don't believe
In what you see.
(We've got to go back to reality.)
Everywhere you look
They'll tell you sweet lies.
(See through mine.)
Don't believe
In what you see.
(We've got to go back to reality.)"
(I never thought my father listened to music such as this. He always listened to Enka and that 'Apple Song' by that idol singer of old.)
Ever heard of that song, Tatsuha? * laughs * Maybe not. They don't play it as much as they used to. It was one by someone called 'Shinya'.
I met Shinya a long time ago. In a concert that he was giving, the first I had ever gone to, I bought a ticket. But even if it was a front row ticket, I stood at the back with my arms folded because I was upset at the girl that had stood me up.
I couldn't really blame your mother though. It was raining relentlessly outside and you know how she had the habit of always being late.
When Shinya got on the stage, I watched this man with golden hair take his microphone into his hands and waved at the crowd. Before, the fans weren't crazy as they were now. We clapped and shouted, but weren't as rowdy as you had been when you came home from your first Sakuma Ryuichi concert.
I remembered looking at the ground with the carpeted red in different patterns done in black lines. I was very mad at your mother for being late. Again.
When I looked up, Shinya had started singing his hit song at the time, "Sekai ga."
As much as I liked him, he was so cold.
And his lyrics showed this, despite his awesome songs.
But my opinion of him changed instantly as I found him reaching out his hand towards me. I thought it was because he was pumping up the crowd.
No. It wasn't.
Without a care, he stared at me and winked his eye at me.
The girls started to die in front of him at his teasing.
I opened my eyes in alarm as all this happened in the back of my mind while watching him. Mesmerized by this man's charm over his audience.
And throughout the concert, I stopped being mad and enjoyed it because I was there anyway. Not wet and with great music around me.
I loved music just as you, your brother, and your sister. You don't remember that I used to sing that song to you when you guys were little.
I stopped singing when you were able to remember the words. You were the reason I stopped. You started to sing along with me and I feared your mother would think I was cruel for it.
I guess I was just guilty.
I was.
By the end of the concert, I was taken aback. I don't know why, but I wanted to tell him how great he was. How through his singing, maybe I could also find something do with my life.
I was already eighteen and going to college with no real direction. Your grandparents were so mad at me for that.
I don't know how I did it, but I was able to lie my way through to see this person named 'Shinya.'
'I'm your fan,' I blurted out. Smooth wasn't I?
He looked at me and laughed. 'You're cute.'
I held my head back in surprise. 'Cute?"
I wasn't 'cute'. You don't call a guy 'cute' unless you're a girl, right?
He then shook his head and ran his fingers through his hair as he motioned for me to enter his dressing room. I sat on a chair he pulled out for me.
Without discretion, he stood in front of a mirror. But he was watching me with his eyes and smirk through the reflection of the mirror.
'Sounds like you more than admire me.' But it wasn't said in an egotistical way.
'Excuse me?' I gulped not knowing what was happening.
'Why are you telling me this? Aren't you ashamed?' he said as he turned around to watch me.
'I think you're great, Shinya-san.' I announced.
But at that moment, when I looked at him, I knew that he had caught on and I was trying to catch up to what my heart was already telling me.
I went to all his concerts from then on and we would meet occasionally.
The more I went out with him, the more I knew that there was something wrong.
When we were talking backstage, I told him how I was feeling. He took up my chin and gave me a clear look.
Again, he asked me. 'Why are you telling me this? Aren't you ashamed?'
'Because I love you,' I found myself saying.
'And this is the part where I should say goodbye, isn't it?' he asked me as he still held my chin.
'I'm going to marry that girl.' I turned my head away from him and looked at the ground.
'But you love me,' he answered without hesitation.
Silence.
'You're always gone. You can't stay in one place. I can't always go to wherever you are, no matter how much you spoil me.' I pleaded. 'I've been doing that for four years already and I've got to stop this.'
He leaned forward to my ear to whisper, 'Don't lie to me.'
I stepped back and gave him a stern look. 'We can't do this anymore. I am heir to my father's temple. And you're just getting more and more famous.'
(My eyes opened widely as I stared at my father with his sleeping eyes.
What? What was I hearing???)
'Then do what makes you happy,' he told me with a grave voice.
Then, he picked up my chin again and stared into my eyes. 'But don't you dare look back.'
He pushed me away and laughed. 'You thought I was serious about you, didn't I?'
'Huh?' I looked at him in confusion.
'I was trying to figure out if I was a good actor,' he blinked his eyes as he remained looking at me and my reaction. 'I needed some fun and you were there being cute.'
'For four years?'
'For as long as you could stay,' he answered back just as sharply.
'Why did you do it? What were you thinking?' I questioned as I looked back at him in disbelief not knowing what to believe anymore.
'I'll never come back.' He told me. 'I'll never come back to you.'
As I was turning around, he hugged me from behind and I didn't know what was going on.
But, I wouldn't look back. I left in the pouring rain not able to cry at all.
I was so angry at him that I boycotted him. I sold all my cds and threw all the little momentos he gave me.
He was gone from my life. That was that.
I got married to your mother later that year.
And around the time your sister was born, he made the song. That song called 'Kimi ni'.
I accidentally heard it as I was passing a music store trying to buy groceries for my family.
The coldness in his songs all these years melted. I could hear it in his voice.
The man who had pushed me away…
I only realized then what he had done for me.
He pushed me away to save me.
* takes a deep breath *
And I sang this song to you and you forgot it. As it should be.
So, if you hear this tape, I'm probably warning you of the mistake I made…
Or didn't.
I watched you grow up. And now, you are fourteen and a half.
And in love with Sakuma Ryuichi even though you don't know it yet.
I saw myself through you and I didn't want you to feel what I did.
So, I want you to marry that girl Tsuki someday because she was your best friend. But when she becomes pregnant, take good care of her as your wife.
Her mom almost lost her because she was so sickly.
I hope Tsuki will not follow her mother.
But, my worries will cease, won't they Tatsuha?
You've never let me down. You've always made me proud.
(I began to cry as I looked at my father.)
But you know what? He couldn't leave me alone. 'Kimi ni' became a number one song, but it was also his last.
He packed up his guitar and became a business man.
I became a monk that hated rock music as the years went by.
And when I looked at his son, years later, I was reminded of him. Eiri will never forgive me, I know. Touma will never forgive me for trying to separate him and Eiri.
But I saw the past coming back. I just couldn't bear it.
* pause *
Please keep this as a secret between us.
Promise me you'll be quiet about all this.
(I nodded my head.)
You know him, Tatsuha.
(My flustered looked from side to side.
"I do?")
You see…
The one name Shinya…
He is Seguchi Touma's father.
But my son, if I cause you grief in the future over this, I'm sorry. I'm sorry for your confusion.
Please understand how much I love you.
* end of tape *"
Nothing could have prepared me for anything like this. Nothing at all.
I stared at my father in disbelief as I found him sleeping with the oxygen mask still over his mouth.
I felt like a big burden had been lifted as I stared at him. At the same time, I felt pity with new pain washing inside of me.
"That's why…" I whispered in realization.
I couldn't stay mad at my father.
Not after that.
I thought he was sleeping, but then, he opened his eyes and patted my hand. "You can go to Sakuma-san now."
In a firm grip, he then said, "But if he ever breaks your heart, tell him I will haunt him and torture him if he does anything to my Tatsuha."
That's right, I was my father's boy first.
I nodded my head as I hugged my father. "Thank you…"
Then, with my hand on my side, I ran down the stairs and made my way to Ryuichi, who was just waiting for me to get to him.
And in a sense, yes, I finally saw myself making it there.
The last of my insecurity melted away.
I had finally and truly felt that I had caught my Nagareboshi.
Tsuzuku.
--
Author's note: Yea! I'm glad that this came flooding into my brain so that we can finally enjoy our happy ending. Hee.
And you know what? This is one of my favorite chapters. I hope you liked it. It took me two and a half hours to do and I finished it at 3:00 am.
And now, we can finally proceed to the end after this plot twist. I hope you have enjoyed this fic so far because I think the pay off was from you the readers and this chapter.
I specifically picked the name 'Shinya' because I love Shinya from Luna Sea. ^_^v
Sekai ga – the world is
Aching Desire
(Nagareboshi 3)
By Miyamoto Yui
Chapter 32 – Kimi Ni. (To You.)
Idiots never think about their physical pain when they're distracted. I forgot about my rib in all the commotion.
But as soon as I called for Makoto to come pick me up, it came back relentlessly. And the blood was stiffening coldly.
I wondered if I had stained Aniki's car or Ryuichi's shirt with my blood.
Makoto pulled up, but I held my hand up. The one still painted with my Ryu's blood.
Grim, wasn't it?
I was not ashamed to show how far I had to go to make my point.
I did the easy part…it was Ryuichi who did all the special tricks to get me to wherever I needed to go.
I went into the car and stared at the mirror as Makoto looked back at me just as long.
He knew there was something different.
I did too.
I knew what I was doing.
In all these weeks of pandemonium, I finally saw where I was going and what I needed to do in order to get there.
I laughed to myself as the car drove onto the main road. Rolling down my window, I smiled.
How easily Hiro had answered my questions.
But how could I have expected less from him?
"How is my father?" I asked with concern as if this whole mess had never happened.
"He's still hanging in there." Makoto turned the corner. "He's still breathing for one thing."
"Just as sarcastic as always," I commented and sighed in relief. "I'm glad."
"Touma-san has left the house."
I glanced in his direction. "And Sakano-san?"
"Left with Touma-san."
I nodded.
It might as well have been that way. If things had gotten out of hand and Sakano-san wasn't there to mediate what he did, I would have been very afraid.
I looked at my side. The one that Touma marked on.
I deserved it.
It just made me more determined.
I patted Makoto's shoulder. "You're always the go-betweener," I sighed.
"It's all part of the job."
With that, he glanced at the window. Showing some other face than a poker one made me worry.
"What do you know about Aniki and Touma-san?" I blurted out.
Silence.
I hadn't expected an answer anyway.
***
When we pulled up, I let myself out as Makoto opened the front gate and motioned for me to go inside. Without anyone following me, I made my way to my father's room without hesitation.
I wasn't going to scream.
I wasn't going to prove to him what had changed in me.
I was going there as his son.
Even if I had disowned myself.
Knock, knock.
"Come in," said one of the maids named Irene.
As I opened the door, she nodded her head at me and looked at my father.
"Can I be alone with my father?" I asked as I watched her tuck him safely into his bed with a large comforter snuggling his body.
The one masked with an oxygen tank next to him.
My father's dark eyes weakly looked at me. He nodded his head a bit and Irene left with a bow while closing the door behind her.
My opening line: "I don't want to fight anymore, Father."
I walked towards him while still watching him watching me as he breathed heavily. "I've had enough of this. Please…"
He blinked his eyes as he patted my hand. Father then pointed his finger at his desk.
I walked over to the desk and picked up the note done on a stationary that had been custom-made by yours truly on Father's day when I was in Kindergarten.
Everyone's just out to make me cry with what I gave them a long time ago, aren't they?
It was one where I drew all these black and white Go pieces because I didn't know how to draw at the time. The only thing I could do was think of 'Daddy's favorite game'.
In my father's writing, it said,
"Dear Tatsuha,
If you ever had to read this, then again I believe that there must have been a damn good reason for it. I had chosen to keep this quiet all these years and even your mother only knows tidbits of it. Only what I've told her.
But I'm telling this to you because I see that you're heading the same direction as someone I once knew. You think that I don't understand when in fact, I may know more than I'd like to disclose.
(Aniki did inherit his bluntness, I must say. They speak the same way.)
Because you are the youngest, the heir, and my most treasured child (don't tell your brother or sister that * ha ha *), I'm telling you something that only two people in the world know.
And now, you.
I made this tape along with this letter so that someday, if I couldn't ever tell you to your face, I hope you'd forgive me for what I've done. Sincerely, your father."
I glanced at the old cassette player I used to own. The blackness mixed with so many scratch marks. I wondered how it had lasted this long with all my abuse and Ryuichi's singing.
I put the tape into the deck and adjusted the volume. Then, I sat on the chair next to my father not knowing what to expect.
I, at first, expected that it would be my father's voice. But no, it was a song playing with a man's soothing voice singing,
"While the rain was pouring, I thought of you.
You were whispering to me.
I looked around and you disappeared,
But I still can hear your voice.
'Why did you do it? What were you thinking?'
I told the boy when he asked me,
'I'll never come again.'
Never looking back at him,
It's a world that has separated us,
We've got to go back to reality.
Pushing the crowd of people,
I knew what you were wondering,
'Why did we ever fall for one another
when it was destined to fall apart?'
I wondered what the hell was happening,
When I began to sing and looked your way
You gave me a cruel look,
I wanted to tear it off.
Then you come and visit me,
Telling me you're my fan.
'Why are you telling me this? Aren't you ashamed?'
And you looked at me to say,
"Why would I be?"
Never looking back at him,
It's a world that has separated us,
We've got to go back to reality.
Pushing the crowd of people,
I knew what you were wondering,
'Why did we even fall for one another
when it was destined to fall apart?'
[instrumental]
Just fade away.
Can that happen so easily?
Kept the secret from leaking endlessly,
I told you I would forget you.
You told me I was weak,
And you were so right.
You never looked back at me again.
It's this world that has separated us,
We've got to go back to where we come from.
Pushing through the crowd of people,
You knew what I was saying,
'It's easier to kill yourself
than for me to tell you what I did.'
Don't believe
In what you see.
(We've got to go back to reality.)
Everywhere you look
They'll tell you sweet lies.
(See through mine.)
Don't believe
In what you see.
(We've got to go back to reality.)"
(I never thought my father listened to music such as this. He always listened to Enka and that 'Apple Song' by that idol singer of old.)
Ever heard of that song, Tatsuha? * laughs * Maybe not. They don't play it as much as they used to. It was one by someone called 'Shinya'.
I met Shinya a long time ago. In a concert that he was giving, the first I had ever gone to, I bought a ticket. But even if it was a front row ticket, I stood at the back with my arms folded because I was upset at the girl that had stood me up.
I couldn't really blame your mother though. It was raining relentlessly outside and you know how she had the habit of always being late.
When Shinya got on the stage, I watched this man with golden hair take his microphone into his hands and waved at the crowd. Before, the fans weren't crazy as they were now. We clapped and shouted, but weren't as rowdy as you had been when you came home from your first Sakuma Ryuichi concert.
I remembered looking at the ground with the carpeted red in different patterns done in black lines. I was very mad at your mother for being late. Again.
When I looked up, Shinya had started singing his hit song at the time, "Sekai ga."
As much as I liked him, he was so cold.
And his lyrics showed this, despite his awesome songs.
But my opinion of him changed instantly as I found him reaching out his hand towards me. I thought it was because he was pumping up the crowd.
No. It wasn't.
Without a care, he stared at me and winked his eye at me.
The girls started to die in front of him at his teasing.
I opened my eyes in alarm as all this happened in the back of my mind while watching him. Mesmerized by this man's charm over his audience.
And throughout the concert, I stopped being mad and enjoyed it because I was there anyway. Not wet and with great music around me.
I loved music just as you, your brother, and your sister. You don't remember that I used to sing that song to you when you guys were little.
I stopped singing when you were able to remember the words. You were the reason I stopped. You started to sing along with me and I feared your mother would think I was cruel for it.
I guess I was just guilty.
I was.
By the end of the concert, I was taken aback. I don't know why, but I wanted to tell him how great he was. How through his singing, maybe I could also find something do with my life.
I was already eighteen and going to college with no real direction. Your grandparents were so mad at me for that.
I don't know how I did it, but I was able to lie my way through to see this person named 'Shinya.'
'I'm your fan,' I blurted out. Smooth wasn't I?
He looked at me and laughed. 'You're cute.'
I held my head back in surprise. 'Cute?"
I wasn't 'cute'. You don't call a guy 'cute' unless you're a girl, right?
He then shook his head and ran his fingers through his hair as he motioned for me to enter his dressing room. I sat on a chair he pulled out for me.
Without discretion, he stood in front of a mirror. But he was watching me with his eyes and smirk through the reflection of the mirror.
'Sounds like you more than admire me.' But it wasn't said in an egotistical way.
'Excuse me?' I gulped not knowing what was happening.
'Why are you telling me this? Aren't you ashamed?' he said as he turned around to watch me.
'I think you're great, Shinya-san.' I announced.
But at that moment, when I looked at him, I knew that he had caught on and I was trying to catch up to what my heart was already telling me.
I went to all his concerts from then on and we would meet occasionally.
The more I went out with him, the more I knew that there was something wrong.
When we were talking backstage, I told him how I was feeling. He took up my chin and gave me a clear look.
Again, he asked me. 'Why are you telling me this? Aren't you ashamed?'
'Because I love you,' I found myself saying.
'And this is the part where I should say goodbye, isn't it?' he asked me as he still held my chin.
'I'm going to marry that girl.' I turned my head away from him and looked at the ground.
'But you love me,' he answered without hesitation.
Silence.
'You're always gone. You can't stay in one place. I can't always go to wherever you are, no matter how much you spoil me.' I pleaded. 'I've been doing that for four years already and I've got to stop this.'
He leaned forward to my ear to whisper, 'Don't lie to me.'
I stepped back and gave him a stern look. 'We can't do this anymore. I am heir to my father's temple. And you're just getting more and more famous.'
(My eyes opened widely as I stared at my father with his sleeping eyes.
What? What was I hearing???)
'Then do what makes you happy,' he told me with a grave voice.
Then, he picked up my chin again and stared into my eyes. 'But don't you dare look back.'
He pushed me away and laughed. 'You thought I was serious about you, didn't I?'
'Huh?' I looked at him in confusion.
'I was trying to figure out if I was a good actor,' he blinked his eyes as he remained looking at me and my reaction. 'I needed some fun and you were there being cute.'
'For four years?'
'For as long as you could stay,' he answered back just as sharply.
'Why did you do it? What were you thinking?' I questioned as I looked back at him in disbelief not knowing what to believe anymore.
'I'll never come back.' He told me. 'I'll never come back to you.'
As I was turning around, he hugged me from behind and I didn't know what was going on.
But, I wouldn't look back. I left in the pouring rain not able to cry at all.
I was so angry at him that I boycotted him. I sold all my cds and threw all the little momentos he gave me.
He was gone from my life. That was that.
I got married to your mother later that year.
And around the time your sister was born, he made the song. That song called 'Kimi ni'.
I accidentally heard it as I was passing a music store trying to buy groceries for my family.
The coldness in his songs all these years melted. I could hear it in his voice.
The man who had pushed me away…
I only realized then what he had done for me.
He pushed me away to save me.
* takes a deep breath *
And I sang this song to you and you forgot it. As it should be.
So, if you hear this tape, I'm probably warning you of the mistake I made…
Or didn't.
I watched you grow up. And now, you are fourteen and a half.
And in love with Sakuma Ryuichi even though you don't know it yet.
I saw myself through you and I didn't want you to feel what I did.
So, I want you to marry that girl Tsuki someday because she was your best friend. But when she becomes pregnant, take good care of her as your wife.
Her mom almost lost her because she was so sickly.
I hope Tsuki will not follow her mother.
But, my worries will cease, won't they Tatsuha?
You've never let me down. You've always made me proud.
(I began to cry as I looked at my father.)
But you know what? He couldn't leave me alone. 'Kimi ni' became a number one song, but it was also his last.
He packed up his guitar and became a business man.
I became a monk that hated rock music as the years went by.
And when I looked at his son, years later, I was reminded of him. Eiri will never forgive me, I know. Touma will never forgive me for trying to separate him and Eiri.
But I saw the past coming back. I just couldn't bear it.
* pause *
Please keep this as a secret between us.
Promise me you'll be quiet about all this.
(I nodded my head.)
You know him, Tatsuha.
(My flustered looked from side to side.
"I do?")
You see…
The one name Shinya…
He is Seguchi Touma's father.
But my son, if I cause you grief in the future over this, I'm sorry. I'm sorry for your confusion.
Please understand how much I love you.
* end of tape *"
Nothing could have prepared me for anything like this. Nothing at all.
I stared at my father in disbelief as I found him sleeping with the oxygen mask still over his mouth.
I felt like a big burden had been lifted as I stared at him. At the same time, I felt pity with new pain washing inside of me.
"That's why…" I whispered in realization.
I couldn't stay mad at my father.
Not after that.
I thought he was sleeping, but then, he opened his eyes and patted my hand. "You can go to Sakuma-san now."
In a firm grip, he then said, "But if he ever breaks your heart, tell him I will haunt him and torture him if he does anything to my Tatsuha."
That's right, I was my father's boy first.
I nodded my head as I hugged my father. "Thank you…"
Then, with my hand on my side, I ran down the stairs and made my way to Ryuichi, who was just waiting for me to get to him.
And in a sense, yes, I finally saw myself making it there.
The last of my insecurity melted away.
I had finally and truly felt that I had caught my Nagareboshi.
Tsuzuku.
--
Author's note: Yea! I'm glad that this came flooding into my brain so that we can finally enjoy our happy ending. Hee.
And you know what? This is one of my favorite chapters. I hope you liked it. It took me two and a half hours to do and I finished it at 3:00 am.
And now, we can finally proceed to the end after this plot twist. I hope you have enjoyed this fic so far because I think the pay off was from you the readers and this chapter.
I specifically picked the name 'Shinya' because I love Shinya from Luna Sea. ^_^v
Sekai ga – the world is