Disclaimer: Yui doesn't own Gravi. Zetsuai's by Minami Ozaki-sama.
Aching Desire
(nagareboshi 3)
by Miyamoto Yui
Chapter 34 – Anata ni matte iru. (Waiting for you.)
When I opened the door, my mouth opened a little as my eyes became wide with worry. There I found the pink genki ball with his head buried in his arms while sobbing.
I looked from side to side to find no one else there.
As I pushed the curtain away, my whole body became unfeeling as I saw a towel cover the head of which was supposed to be my Ryuichi.
I took a deep breath, but my knees fell to the floor like a puppet on stage that had been dropped by their master.
Barely audible, I asked, "Ryuichi?"
Shuichi moved his head from side to side without noticing me. "Ryuichi~! Ryuichi~! I can't believe it. Oh, yes I can but-"
In a single moment of shock, fear, and anger all encompassed into one, I shouted, "WHAT HAPPENED?!"
"Huh?" Shuichi's head turned towards mine in confusion.
At that moment, my head fell and I watched the ground with my wide eyes staring blankly.
Time was standing still.
You might as well kill me now.
My father's song repeated, "Why did we ever fall for one another when it was destined to fall apart?"
In a daze, I lifted my head. I found the person sitting up on Ryuichi's bed wasn't my honey at all!
"Boo," my brother said with a monotonous voice and a deadpan look to accompany it.
I shouted in surprise and anger, "ANIKI?!"
I tore my hair out for a second and then I grabbed his shoulders. "What the hell did you do THAT for?!"
Shuichi burst out laughing his head off. I gave him a sharp look.
"That's what you get for leaving without telling us," Shuichi said as he stood up and folded his arms together.
I let go as Aniki smirked while he got out of the bed fully dressed in his blue suit.
As he messed up my hair, he said, "That's what you get for being insecure."
Then, we walked out of the room.
I followed them slowly as Shuichi punched Aniki's shoulder. He laughed, "He looked like he was going to have a heart attack! I told you we shouldn't have done that!"
Geh.
Why did he always know what the true problem was?
"Because I'm your brother," Aniki answered as he glanced back at me.
I sighed as I stuck my head out.
Suguru was right. I'd never get away.
We reached Ryuichi's real room and Aniki and Shuichi waved bye to me.
"Aren't you going in?" I asked while motioning them to come inside and visit Ryuichi.
Aniki shook his head as Shuichi answered, "Already did. You took so long that everyone already left."
I smiled as I gave a sigh of relief. "Hey, I have a question before you two leave."
"Yes?" Shuichi asked.
"Did Suguru have anything to do with this?"
"He was the one who said, 'I'll lead him to the door.'" Aniki smirked as he started to get out a pack of cigarettes from his jacket pocket. "And I made up the rest to teach you a lesson."
I eyed him. Then, I smiled again. "Thanks, you guys."
Shuichi shook his head as Aniki lifted up his chin.
"Hey, you." Aniki pointed at my side. "Get that fixed up."
Shaking my head, I smiled. "You just know everything, don't you?"
"You know it." He nodded his head.
As they turned around, Shuichi took the cigarette and pouted until Aniki's shoulders shrugged. When they turned the corner, he smiled at Shuichi even though Shuichi was still complaining.
I shook my head. "They're perfect for each other."
I took a deep breath as I went up to a nurse and got myself checked…
A few hours later, I was fortunate to find that nothing was broken. Almost, but not quite…
And I'll just be happy at that. ^^;;;
When I got out, I went directly to Ryuichi's room at about midnight. The nurse who was at the counter stopped me to ask, "Do you know who-Oh, hello Mr. Uesugi. Please do enter."
I nodded my head hesitantly with a thank you.
Then, I turned towards the door and took a hold of the knob. As soon as I entered the threshold, I closed the door and fell back onto it.
There was Ryuichi with a bandage over his forehead (it might as well have been a white bandanna of his) and he hugged Kumogorou in his lap. Even though he was injured and bandaged, he asked with a smile, "What took you so long?"
My lip quivered as I shook my head. "Wasn't that what I asked you two years ago? In the studio?"
"It's my turn," he said as he put Kumogorou onto the stand next to his bed and it faced the window.
With his arms out, he sighed, "Well, what are you waiting for? I told you just wait a moment. I'd be back for you."
I closed my eyes and opened them again to make sure I wasn't dreaming. Then, I went to him and hugged him. As I rested my head on his shoulder, he whispered, "You never believe me when I say I'll wait for you."
I shook my head. "No, no. I understand now."
With my father's secret within me, I held him tighter. "My father told me a story about a singer who fell in love with his fan. But the fan didn't know if he could ever return those feelings."
"Sounds like a manga to me," he laughed as he kissed my forehead while still holding me. "Zetsuai to be exact."
I chuckled. "It sure does, doesn't it?"
"But what happened to the singer and the fan?" Ryuichi asked.
"They weren't able to be together because they came from two different kinds of worlds." I sighed. "It was really depressing to hear everything."
Ryuichi then seriously said, "But that isn't our story, Tatsuha."
I turned my face to look into his. He didn't look at me directly, but I could see his deep concentration.
"Are you really sure, Ryuichi?"
My heart beat faster and faster as I looked deeply into his eyes. Honestly, I questioned, "How long were you planning to keep me?"
"For as long as you could stay."
I was dumbfounded because he had answered the same way Touma's father had. "Why…did you answer that way?"
"All this time, I thought you shouldn't be with me, Tatsuha," he explained. "I had exposed you to the press and people harass you all the time though you never tell me. I found out from Shuichi and the others. You try to ignore it, but I keep on saying 'he leads a quiet life, so why are you messing it up for him, Ryuichi?'"
I started to cry as I grabbed onto his shirt while whispering. "You're so stupid…"
All this time I had thought that I wasn't worthy enough. And all this time, he thought that he was messing things up for me.
How alike we were…
"Why am I stupid?" he asked curiously with bewilderment in his voice.
"Because you always think too much about me."
He sighed as he smiled at me. "That's not a bad thing."
"Oww…" I responded as he held my side.
"Is that where Touma hurt you?" His eyes became slits. Then, he sighed. "We will have a nice chat after all this."
"Don't be too mad at him. He was trying to help me get back to you." I patted his back as I put my head again on his shoulder.
"Which is why we're still friends and he's still breathing."
I gave him an incredulous look. "You would do that to your own friend?"
With his hands on my face, he looked into my eyes. "I'd give my soul to the devil himself if it meant that I could have you, Tatsuha."
"You scare me when you say things like that, Ryuichi."
He didn't say anything.
But it didn't disturb me anymore when I looked at his determined face. The one that told me he was confident about one thing: Me.
It was then that I took my head away from his shoulder. I lifted myself onto his bed and put both of my legs on each side of him. Looking directly at him, I tilted my head and playfully looked at the doorway.
"Tatsuha…what are you doing?" He smiled at me as he held my waist.
I leaned forward and bit his ear even though my side hurt a little from the twisting. Whispering into his ear, I answered, "You know _exactly_ what I'm doing, honey."
"Ohh…" He laughed quietly.
It was the worst if I called him 'honey' because that meant that he couldn't resist me no matter what I did.
"But what if a nurse comes in here to check on me?" he asked while blinking at me.
I chuckled at our role reversal. Pulling his collar, I replied, "That's the fun part, though."
"Are you challenging me, Tatsuha?" Pushing off my jacket and shirt carefully, he continued, "Because you know I like challenges."
As I took my hands and began to feel his hips, I leaned closer to him. "I know everything you like."
At that, he pulled my neck to kiss me on the lips as I pulled down the hospital gown.
"Ryuichi…" I breathlessly said as soon as he turned me over and looked down at me.
His body fell on to mine and I panted in pain trying to be as quiet as possible. My fingers grated into his body and he didn't even flinch.
My mouth pressed onto his shoulder as my shouts became muffled.
Then, he stopped to look at me once again. I watched him as his arms supported his weight above me.
"Ryuichi, what would you have done if you had never met me?"
Slipping onto my body, he rested his head on my shoulder with his hair tickling me. Softly, he answered between breaths, "I would have always been lonely."
Like a little kid, his lip quivered. "I waited for you to grow up, Tatsuha."
"You did?" I blinked my eyes.
"That's why Touma had a close watch over you all this time. I told him to. He sent me pictures and everything about how you were doing from his brother." He shook his head. "When you entered my room accidentally years ago, I always looked for you. In my dreams, if I was in Tokyo, everywhere. I lied about forgetting your face, Tatsuha."
"I never forgot," he continued. "For many nights, I kept on thinking I was some pervert always wanting you even though you were so many years younger than I was."
He began to cry as his tears melted into my skin. "I waited for you to grow up all this time. I kept on singing so that you would know who I was, even though you didn't know I was singing them all for you."
"That was why almost all your songs were bittersweet after I met you…" I mumbled in disbelief.
"So, when you came to the studio that day, I knew I could finally talk to you. After all these years, I wondered about meeting you again" He smiled brightly. "You couldn't imagine how happy I was that Touma found some way to get you to the studio with Shuichi."
I began to cry.
To meet me? He was this happy to meet me?!
"All this time I thought, 'how could I ever reach him when he's so far away?'"
He patted my cheek. "I pretended that I forgot about meeting you before in that party Touma had before when I met Bad Luck for the first time. So, when you and I were alone, I had to take to you to the karaoke bar. I had to sing to you, but I knew you could never understand what it was for, much less who. At that moment when you looked at me with a smile, I knew I couldn't let you go again without you knowing my feelings."
"So when you told me that you'd jump to save me even if we both died, I was touched. I wasn't lonely anymore. My wait was finally ending." Grabbing onto my body, he took a deep breath. "That's why I can't lose you, Tatsuha. I've loved you ever since you said, 'Sumimasen'."
In my eyes, my god finally became human.
Then he whispered, "Please don't ever leave me again, Tatsuha. If you say goodbye one more time, I won't be able to take it anymore."
I wrapped my arms around him tenderly with my whole heart.
You had waited for me all this time…
I can't believe it…
How lonely I was to know that I couldn't reach you…
I can't imagine how painful it was for you to watch me, but you couldn't even touch me…
My heart ached with much hurt.
"Don't worry, I won't leave you anymore, Ryuichi.." I assured him.
Closing my eyes while crying, I whispered,
"I promise."
Tsuzuku…
--
Author's note: WAH~! Been crying for two hours. Lost a LOT of my fanfics…especially the latest chapters of Aching Desire. And my outline for the whole story. But most importantly, my poems. The poems I had made for someone (who will never get to read them) but they were the most beautiful words I could ever say to somebody.
Wasn't that touching? I felt so much for Ryuichi. I couldn't breathe as I typed his part. Waiting for Tatsuha to grow up. Isn't that so sweet? (Yes, I know I'm a sap. ;_;)
Thanks for your support so far! This is almost done. ;_; (Okay, don't know if that's a good thing to say though…)
Aching Desire
(nagareboshi 3)
by Miyamoto Yui
Chapter 34 – Anata ni matte iru. (Waiting for you.)
When I opened the door, my mouth opened a little as my eyes became wide with worry. There I found the pink genki ball with his head buried in his arms while sobbing.
I looked from side to side to find no one else there.
As I pushed the curtain away, my whole body became unfeeling as I saw a towel cover the head of which was supposed to be my Ryuichi.
I took a deep breath, but my knees fell to the floor like a puppet on stage that had been dropped by their master.
Barely audible, I asked, "Ryuichi?"
Shuichi moved his head from side to side without noticing me. "Ryuichi~! Ryuichi~! I can't believe it. Oh, yes I can but-"
In a single moment of shock, fear, and anger all encompassed into one, I shouted, "WHAT HAPPENED?!"
"Huh?" Shuichi's head turned towards mine in confusion.
At that moment, my head fell and I watched the ground with my wide eyes staring blankly.
Time was standing still.
You might as well kill me now.
My father's song repeated, "Why did we ever fall for one another when it was destined to fall apart?"
In a daze, I lifted my head. I found the person sitting up on Ryuichi's bed wasn't my honey at all!
"Boo," my brother said with a monotonous voice and a deadpan look to accompany it.
I shouted in surprise and anger, "ANIKI?!"
I tore my hair out for a second and then I grabbed his shoulders. "What the hell did you do THAT for?!"
Shuichi burst out laughing his head off. I gave him a sharp look.
"That's what you get for leaving without telling us," Shuichi said as he stood up and folded his arms together.
I let go as Aniki smirked while he got out of the bed fully dressed in his blue suit.
As he messed up my hair, he said, "That's what you get for being insecure."
Then, we walked out of the room.
I followed them slowly as Shuichi punched Aniki's shoulder. He laughed, "He looked like he was going to have a heart attack! I told you we shouldn't have done that!"
Geh.
Why did he always know what the true problem was?
"Because I'm your brother," Aniki answered as he glanced back at me.
I sighed as I stuck my head out.
Suguru was right. I'd never get away.
We reached Ryuichi's real room and Aniki and Shuichi waved bye to me.
"Aren't you going in?" I asked while motioning them to come inside and visit Ryuichi.
Aniki shook his head as Shuichi answered, "Already did. You took so long that everyone already left."
I smiled as I gave a sigh of relief. "Hey, I have a question before you two leave."
"Yes?" Shuichi asked.
"Did Suguru have anything to do with this?"
"He was the one who said, 'I'll lead him to the door.'" Aniki smirked as he started to get out a pack of cigarettes from his jacket pocket. "And I made up the rest to teach you a lesson."
I eyed him. Then, I smiled again. "Thanks, you guys."
Shuichi shook his head as Aniki lifted up his chin.
"Hey, you." Aniki pointed at my side. "Get that fixed up."
Shaking my head, I smiled. "You just know everything, don't you?"
"You know it." He nodded his head.
As they turned around, Shuichi took the cigarette and pouted until Aniki's shoulders shrugged. When they turned the corner, he smiled at Shuichi even though Shuichi was still complaining.
I shook my head. "They're perfect for each other."
I took a deep breath as I went up to a nurse and got myself checked…
A few hours later, I was fortunate to find that nothing was broken. Almost, but not quite…
And I'll just be happy at that. ^^;;;
When I got out, I went directly to Ryuichi's room at about midnight. The nurse who was at the counter stopped me to ask, "Do you know who-Oh, hello Mr. Uesugi. Please do enter."
I nodded my head hesitantly with a thank you.
Then, I turned towards the door and took a hold of the knob. As soon as I entered the threshold, I closed the door and fell back onto it.
There was Ryuichi with a bandage over his forehead (it might as well have been a white bandanna of his) and he hugged Kumogorou in his lap. Even though he was injured and bandaged, he asked with a smile, "What took you so long?"
My lip quivered as I shook my head. "Wasn't that what I asked you two years ago? In the studio?"
"It's my turn," he said as he put Kumogorou onto the stand next to his bed and it faced the window.
With his arms out, he sighed, "Well, what are you waiting for? I told you just wait a moment. I'd be back for you."
I closed my eyes and opened them again to make sure I wasn't dreaming. Then, I went to him and hugged him. As I rested my head on his shoulder, he whispered, "You never believe me when I say I'll wait for you."
I shook my head. "No, no. I understand now."
With my father's secret within me, I held him tighter. "My father told me a story about a singer who fell in love with his fan. But the fan didn't know if he could ever return those feelings."
"Sounds like a manga to me," he laughed as he kissed my forehead while still holding me. "Zetsuai to be exact."
I chuckled. "It sure does, doesn't it?"
"But what happened to the singer and the fan?" Ryuichi asked.
"They weren't able to be together because they came from two different kinds of worlds." I sighed. "It was really depressing to hear everything."
Ryuichi then seriously said, "But that isn't our story, Tatsuha."
I turned my face to look into his. He didn't look at me directly, but I could see his deep concentration.
"Are you really sure, Ryuichi?"
My heart beat faster and faster as I looked deeply into his eyes. Honestly, I questioned, "How long were you planning to keep me?"
"For as long as you could stay."
I was dumbfounded because he had answered the same way Touma's father had. "Why…did you answer that way?"
"All this time, I thought you shouldn't be with me, Tatsuha," he explained. "I had exposed you to the press and people harass you all the time though you never tell me. I found out from Shuichi and the others. You try to ignore it, but I keep on saying 'he leads a quiet life, so why are you messing it up for him, Ryuichi?'"
I started to cry as I grabbed onto his shirt while whispering. "You're so stupid…"
All this time I had thought that I wasn't worthy enough. And all this time, he thought that he was messing things up for me.
How alike we were…
"Why am I stupid?" he asked curiously with bewilderment in his voice.
"Because you always think too much about me."
He sighed as he smiled at me. "That's not a bad thing."
"Oww…" I responded as he held my side.
"Is that where Touma hurt you?" His eyes became slits. Then, he sighed. "We will have a nice chat after all this."
"Don't be too mad at him. He was trying to help me get back to you." I patted his back as I put my head again on his shoulder.
"Which is why we're still friends and he's still breathing."
I gave him an incredulous look. "You would do that to your own friend?"
With his hands on my face, he looked into my eyes. "I'd give my soul to the devil himself if it meant that I could have you, Tatsuha."
"You scare me when you say things like that, Ryuichi."
He didn't say anything.
But it didn't disturb me anymore when I looked at his determined face. The one that told me he was confident about one thing: Me.
It was then that I took my head away from his shoulder. I lifted myself onto his bed and put both of my legs on each side of him. Looking directly at him, I tilted my head and playfully looked at the doorway.
"Tatsuha…what are you doing?" He smiled at me as he held my waist.
I leaned forward and bit his ear even though my side hurt a little from the twisting. Whispering into his ear, I answered, "You know _exactly_ what I'm doing, honey."
"Ohh…" He laughed quietly.
It was the worst if I called him 'honey' because that meant that he couldn't resist me no matter what I did.
"But what if a nurse comes in here to check on me?" he asked while blinking at me.
I chuckled at our role reversal. Pulling his collar, I replied, "That's the fun part, though."
"Are you challenging me, Tatsuha?" Pushing off my jacket and shirt carefully, he continued, "Because you know I like challenges."
As I took my hands and began to feel his hips, I leaned closer to him. "I know everything you like."
At that, he pulled my neck to kiss me on the lips as I pulled down the hospital gown.
"Ryuichi…" I breathlessly said as soon as he turned me over and looked down at me.
His body fell on to mine and I panted in pain trying to be as quiet as possible. My fingers grated into his body and he didn't even flinch.
My mouth pressed onto his shoulder as my shouts became muffled.
Then, he stopped to look at me once again. I watched him as his arms supported his weight above me.
"Ryuichi, what would you have done if you had never met me?"
Slipping onto my body, he rested his head on my shoulder with his hair tickling me. Softly, he answered between breaths, "I would have always been lonely."
Like a little kid, his lip quivered. "I waited for you to grow up, Tatsuha."
"You did?" I blinked my eyes.
"That's why Touma had a close watch over you all this time. I told him to. He sent me pictures and everything about how you were doing from his brother." He shook his head. "When you entered my room accidentally years ago, I always looked for you. In my dreams, if I was in Tokyo, everywhere. I lied about forgetting your face, Tatsuha."
"I never forgot," he continued. "For many nights, I kept on thinking I was some pervert always wanting you even though you were so many years younger than I was."
He began to cry as his tears melted into my skin. "I waited for you to grow up all this time. I kept on singing so that you would know who I was, even though you didn't know I was singing them all for you."
"That was why almost all your songs were bittersweet after I met you…" I mumbled in disbelief.
"So, when you came to the studio that day, I knew I could finally talk to you. After all these years, I wondered about meeting you again" He smiled brightly. "You couldn't imagine how happy I was that Touma found some way to get you to the studio with Shuichi."
I began to cry.
To meet me? He was this happy to meet me?!
"All this time I thought, 'how could I ever reach him when he's so far away?'"
He patted my cheek. "I pretended that I forgot about meeting you before in that party Touma had before when I met Bad Luck for the first time. So, when you and I were alone, I had to take to you to the karaoke bar. I had to sing to you, but I knew you could never understand what it was for, much less who. At that moment when you looked at me with a smile, I knew I couldn't let you go again without you knowing my feelings."
"So when you told me that you'd jump to save me even if we both died, I was touched. I wasn't lonely anymore. My wait was finally ending." Grabbing onto my body, he took a deep breath. "That's why I can't lose you, Tatsuha. I've loved you ever since you said, 'Sumimasen'."
In my eyes, my god finally became human.
Then he whispered, "Please don't ever leave me again, Tatsuha. If you say goodbye one more time, I won't be able to take it anymore."
I wrapped my arms around him tenderly with my whole heart.
You had waited for me all this time…
I can't believe it…
How lonely I was to know that I couldn't reach you…
I can't imagine how painful it was for you to watch me, but you couldn't even touch me…
My heart ached with much hurt.
"Don't worry, I won't leave you anymore, Ryuichi.." I assured him.
Closing my eyes while crying, I whispered,
"I promise."
Tsuzuku…
--
Author's note: WAH~! Been crying for two hours. Lost a LOT of my fanfics…especially the latest chapters of Aching Desire. And my outline for the whole story. But most importantly, my poems. The poems I had made for someone (who will never get to read them) but they were the most beautiful words I could ever say to somebody.
Wasn't that touching? I felt so much for Ryuichi. I couldn't breathe as I typed his part. Waiting for Tatsuha to grow up. Isn't that so sweet? (Yes, I know I'm a sap. ;_;)
Thanks for your support so far! This is almost done. ;_; (Okay, don't know if that's a good thing to say though…)