insert standard disclaimer here
~~~~~
Van quietly closed the door to his room and walked down the hallway, head bent low. Blue eyes watched from the shadows as he
stopped and looked back at the door, then turned away and began to meander down the hallway.
"Van-sama..."
My lullabye
Hung out to dry
What's up with that?
It's over...
Merle slowly come out of the shadows as the depressed man walked past her hiding spot, and she padded along silently behind him.
She was worried about him. Extremely worried. Especially at this time of the year. It always reminded him of...her. It killed her
inside to watch him slowly crumble, reduced to an empty shell every year. He just...wasn't the same... Her breath caught in her
throat as something crystalline fell off of his chin. He didn't deserve to be treated like this. He just didn't. And there was nothing
she could do about it.
Where are you, dad?
Mum's looking sad
What's up with that?
It's dark in here...
She quietly tiptoed up behind him and tenatively tapped him on the shoulder. He spun around quickly, hopeful, and she gave him a
weak smile as the hope drained from his face. He attempted to smile back. Merle took his arm and they began to walk down the
hallway in silence. Just taking comfort in the other's presence. Merle broke the dead silence.
"Are you okay, Van-sama?"
Van nodded gruffly, clearing his throat and studying what he was walking on. Merle felt like crying, he didn't even want her help!
She decided to try again, "It's...It's her again...isn't it..." It was more of a statement than a question.
"I'm fine, Merle."
Merle nodded sulkily, and they continued to walk in silence.
"Are you sure?"
Van snapped at her, "Merle! I said I'm fine and I mean it!"
Tears began to pool in her eyes, "I hate to see you like this!"
"Merle!"
She threw her arms around him, holding on for dear life.
Why, bleeding is breathing
You're hiding, underneath the smoke in the room
Try, bleeding is believing
I used to...
"Please Van-sama!! You have to be back! Be the Van-sama I knew five years ago! You weren't even this depressed when she left
the first time! You've changed so much! Staying like this is killing you! Please!" Merle sobbed into his shirt as she begged.
"Merle! I told you! I'm fine!", Van grabbed the hysterical cat-girl by the shoulders and held her at arms length, shaking her
slightly, "I don't know what you're talking about! I'm over it and I'm fine!"
Merle regained her composure and stepped backward, wrenching her shoulders out of his grip.
"No, you're not," She whispered, glaring defiantly up into his eyes, willing the tears to stop, "You figured out your feelings years
ago. Act on it."
Merle turned on her heel and sprinted back the way they came, angrily brushing away renegade tears.
My mouth is dry
Forgot how to cry
What's up with that?
You're hurting me...
Merle skidded around the corner, palms planted on the floor and heels whipping around the bend, never touching the ground. She
vaulted over a cart that someone had carelessly left in the way, and bounded down another random hallway. If she could just
outrun it...
She sprinted up a stairway and skidded to a halt. She was on the roof. There was nowhere else to run to...
She collapsed to her knees and began to sob into her hands.
I'm running fast
Can't hide the past
What's up with that?
You're pushing me...
She hated it! She hated all of it! The way he was moody and irritable and would lock himself away from humanity and how he
wouldn't even bother to eat and he'd just torture himself! The cold night air wrapped around her shoulders and she shivered. He
would never let her help! He was blind to his own depression and how it affected everyone! He would never let anyone help!
Why, bleeding is breathing
You're hiding, underneath the smoke in the room
Try, bleeding is believing
I used to...
I used to...
Merle lifted her face from her hands and ventured to view her surroundings. The sky was beautiful tonight. She smiled bitterly and
rose shakily to her feet. She stumbled to the edge of the roof and leaned over the wall. Someone was in the garden. She lifted her
gaze. The Mystic Moon was infuriatingly bright. She narrowed her eyes and jumped up on the stonework, balancing precariously.
Why, bleeding is breathing
You're hiding, underneath the smoke in the room
Try, bleeding is believing
I saw you crawling on the floor...
"IT'S ALL YOUR FAULT!"
Merle yelled at the sky, venting her emotion as she paced along the stone, jumping across the gaps.
"WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS TO HIM? IT'S NOT FAIR! HE LOVES YOU! HE'S KILLING HIMSELF SLOWLY
BECAUSE HE LOVES YOU!" She jumped again, landing shakily.
"WHAT DID HE DO TO DESERVE THIS? HUH? WHAT? ALL HE DID WAS FALL IN LOVE WITH YOU!" Her shoulders sagged.
"It's hurting everyone. You love him, too," She whispered, "Why don't you come back?"
She couldn't handle it anymore. All the hurt. Everyone tried to hide it from her, like it was an evil secret or something. But she
knew. And it was rubbing off on her.
Why, bleeding is breathing
You're hiding, underneath the smoke in the room
Try, bleeding is believing
I saw you falling to the floor...
Merle sniffed and wiped away a stray tear. Great. Now she had to go face everyone with puffy, red eyes. She laughed, surprising
herself. It felt good to laugh...
Why, bleeding is breathing
You're hiding, underneath the smoke in the room
Try, bleeding is believing
I saw you falling to the floor...
She jumped down from her perch and began walking toward the stairs. She had an anniversary get-together to go to. She sent one
last glance at the double moons.
"We all miss you, Hitomi," She began to walk back inside and paused, "Some more than others.
~~~~~
A/N: *radio announcer's voice* You have just heard 'Smoke' by Natalie Imbruglia. Next...