The Cast of InuYasha.OFF Set!

(A/n: This is TOTALLY ooc, cause their all out of the studio. We just did this for fun, and if you don't like it tough! Ahem, and nooooow to the story!)

Chapter One: Meeting the Cast

"And cut! Good job guys, time for a lunch break," Rumiko Takahashi shouted. The lights flicked on and the cast of InuYasha sighed in relief before wandering off the set to the cafeteria.

Sesshou-maru sauntered to Kagome, snaking his arm around her waist.

"Hey," he whispered into her ear.

"Hey!" she replied looking up at him.

"Hi!!!" Shippo's childishly shrill voice exclaimed from in between them. They sighed, looking downward to the tiny tot in their arms.

"Whatcha' doin'?" he asked.

"Wouldn't you like to know?" Kagome replied with a playful grin.

The couple laughed evilly before launching a tickling attack on a defenseless Shippo. He squealed and wriggled out of their grasp.

"You're mean!" he cried.

"You shouldn't pick on the poor kid!" InuYasha said, entering the cafeteria.

"Oh get over it and come out already!" Kagome said while Sesshou-maru doubled over with laughter.

"For the last time I'm NOT GAY!!!!" InuYasha shouted.

"Oh so if we said it again you wouldn't deny it?" Sesshou-maru questioned, while this time Kagome cracked up.

"What?! I never said that!!" InuYasha protested helplessly.

Just then the door opened to admit Miroku all brushed up in a black business suit, complete with a brief case and a tie.

Shippo gazed innocently up at him. "Why are you all prettied up?"

"Yeah, you look nice," InuYasha added kindly.

Kagome and Sesshou-maru turned to each other and burst out laughing. "He's totally gay!"

"Oh stop it," Miroku said impatiently, flicking open his ringing cell phone. "Yeah? No, that's not what I told y-.no, no, no, no, NO!"

"Hmm, another girl must have turned him down," Kagome confided in her boyfriend.

Kikyou entered just then, a cigarette in hand and frown on her wrinkled old face. She was actually well past her fifties, but makeup can work miracles these days.

"What are you stupid kids yacking about?" she rasped.

"Ah, get over yourself Granny," Miroku said, turning from his conversation on the phone.

"Hey dudes, what's happenin'?"

"Oh God! Not you! I thought you were off getting high somewhere," Sesshou- maru sighed while his girl giggled in his arms.

"Whaaaaa? Why would you accuse me of something like that?" Naraku demanded, hiding a bag of what seemed to be powdered sugar behind his back and wiping off his "powdered sugar-mustache". The seventeen-year-old beach-born junkie sidled towards Kagome.

"Hey babe, what's up?"

"Ugh, get away from me," Kagome muttered disgustedly.

Sesshou-maru stepped in front of her protectively and lifted Naraku up by the color of his Aloha shirt. He glared at the teen druggie and hissed a few colorful words before tossing him to the floor.

"Hey dude, watch the hair, man," Naraku complained, dusting off his board shorts.

"Hey, Akane?" Ranma called, walking in.

"Hey, wrong set bud!" InuYasha said helpfully.

(A/N: Just to make things clear, InuYasha is NOT gay, they just tease him about it because he's so nice to everyone.)

"Uh, thanks," Ranma answered, leaving quickly.

"Hey Ranma! What's up? Long time no see," the teen heart-throb Kouga said as he passed him through the door.

He took off his shades and flopped lazily into a chair, pulling out a Seventeen magazine to see his face printed boldly on the cover, winking at the reading masses.

"Let's see what they have to say about me THIS month," he said. "Yeah, yeah, yeah, heart-throb.handsome.godly.heard it all before."

"AHHHHHHH!!!!!!!! KOUGA MY LOVE!!!!!!!" a screaming pack of girls squealed, bursting in on him.

"Oh god, how'd they get in here?" Kouga demanded.

"OH KOUGA!!!! MARRY ME!!!!!" one girl begged, running up to him in a wedding gown.

"Uh.I'm not looking for a bride," he replied.

"How much are you offering for him?" Kagome shouted.

"I'm not for sale, either!" Kouga retorted, sending her a glare.

Jaken, the hideous little midget, and Rin, the ten-year-old actress entered, Rin laughing as she tugged a scowling Jaken into the cafeteria.

"Shippo!" she shouted, running over to her friend.

They caught hands and danced around in circles, Jaken trapped in the middle.

"What's Fluffy and Kagome doing?" Rin asked, stopping to stare at the couple as they made out in the middle of the cafeteria.

Sango walked in and took one look at the lovebirds. "Well, I've lost my appetite," she muttered, starting to leave again.

"Ah! Sango my dear! How are you?" Miroku cried, hurrying over to her. "Finally a woman my age that's actually eligible!" He glanced meaningfully at Kikyou, the show's hag, Rin, the fourth-grader, and Kagome, or to be precise, her extremely protective boyfriend, Sesshou-maru.

"Hmm, you look weird in a suit," Sango remarked, disregarding the last comment.

"Why thank you, so does that mean you'll go out with me?"

"What? No!"

Sango stumbled back, surprised, and tripped oh-so-gracelessly over a chair.

"AIEEE!" she shrieked, falling backwards.

Luckily Miroku was able to get there to catch her in his arms and hold her in a bone-crushing hug.

"I'll take that as a yes!"

"Uh, Miroku, I'm fine now.if you'd just let go.I CAN'T BREATHE!"

"Iiiiii know my dear," he replied blissfully.

All the while one of Kouga's many fan clubs stood drooling as he sipped casually from his lemonade.

Then suddenly Kouga's fan clubs' biggest rivals burst in.

"I LOOOOOOVE YOU INUYASHA!!!!!" they screamed.

"PLEASE BE MINE!!!!"

"Heh.." InuYasha sweatdropped.

"HEY! This is OUR turf!!!!" Kouga's fan club, which shall now be known as KFC, shouted.

"We are the INUYASHA RESCUE SQUAD and we have come to TAKE HIM AWAY!!!!" the other group, which shall be known as the IRS, cries.

The cast continued eating while the KFC vs. IRS showdown commenced as if it were an everyday thing.and it was.

(A/n: WRITTEN BY: Blessed Be and Sesshou-maru. We hope you liked it! Yeah it's kinda crazy, but that's the point! And NO that's not how we would imagine the characters off set.well for the most part at least. MWAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHA-oh yeah, DON'T FORGET TO REVIEW!!!!)