Title: Homesick for the Holidays
Author: Nopporn Wongrassamee aka the Evil Author
EMail Address: EvilAuthor@aol.com
Archive: Anywhere and everywhere. Just tell me if you do.
Spoilers: Anything goes. Set in the 2002 series.
Summary: Queen Marlena is determined for everyone to have
a Merry Christmas... even though no one knows what it
is!
Disclaimer: Characters and concepts belong to their
owners who I'm too lazy to list.
It started with her watch.
The day was bright and sunny as usual. Marlena, Queen of
the planet Eternia, loving wife and mother, was getting
dressed for court. While rooting through her jewelery
box, she found a little piece of her past discarded
carelessly in a dark corner.
Nostalgic, she picked it up. It was still running she
saw. Figures, she thought. Almost twenty years ago, her
two million credit, state of the art survey ship had come
crashing out of the sky. Something in its five hundred
thousand credit drive system had failed catastrophically.
The twenty thousand credit hull was melted, abraded, and
torn beyond repair. Marlena had only survived because of
the ten thousand credit safety systems.
And after all this time, the only piece of Earth
technology still working was a cheap five credit wrist
watch she had bought at the last minute from the starport
gift shop. The irony was priceless.
Then the date caught Marlena's eye. She had stopped
wearing the watch because it was set to Earth time. The
Eternian day and year were similar in length to their
Earth counterparts, but the difference was just enough to
make trying to tell time by the watch completely
pointless.
But the watch could still say what the date was back on
Earth. It was almost Christmas.
***
She had begged off from attending court today. Although
her husband, Randor, had been put out when she didn't
explain why, he recognized that something was disturbing
his wife.
Today, Marlena decided to give to the past. In a little
used storage room under the palace was the salvaged
remains of her ship. Long ago, Duncan had offered to try
to repair it (rebuild it would have been more accurate).
Marlena had declined the offer. There would have been no
point; the navcomputer was completely fried. Even if
Duncan managed to get the ship flying again, Marlena had
no idea where Earth was in relation to Eternia.
Now, Marlena sat in the pilot's seat, conveniently set
apart on the store room floor from the rest of the
wreckage. Other seats from the ship were also set out,
all arranged around a dead holo-projection table. She sat
and reminisced.
"Your Majesty?" someone called from the door behind her.
"Hello, Duncan," Marlena replied, not looking at him.
"Have a seat."
Duncan appeared in her field of vision and took the seat
next to hers. "King Randor is worried about you," he
began. "He sent me to find you."
"How did you find me?" Marlena asked, curious. This place
was well off the beaten track so to speak.
"It's not often royalty comes down here," Duncan replied.
"Your passage caused some comment. Is something bothering
you, Your Majesty?"
"Oh, it's nothing, Duncan," Marlena reassured him. "I'm
just homesick I guess.
"For Earth?"
"In a way." Marlena showed Duncan her watch.
Duncan recognized it. He had been fascinated with it
years ago. With Eternia'ss feudal economy, the only
people who needed clocks of any kind at all were
engineers like Duncan who worked with equipment where
timing was important. Who else on Eternia needed to tell
time closer than an hour anyway?
"Right now, it's the Christmas season back on Earth,"
Marlena elaborated. "Christmas is arguably the most
celebrated holiday there with the exception of maybe New
Year's. This time of year, my family would be getting
together to celebrate."
"Oh," Duncan said uncomfortably. He could see where this
was going.
"My parents would be hosting and getting Christmas dinner
ready for the rest of us," Marlena continued. "My sister
would be trying to buy gifts at the last minute. My
brother would be on leave from the Service with his
girlfriend..." Marlena paused. "My god, I could be an
aunt now and not even know it. And I have a son that the
rest of my family has never met. For that matter, they
probably think I've been dead for twenty years."
"Your Majesty... Marlena," Duncan said when she lapsed
into silence. "Look on the bright side. You're healthy
and whole and you do have a family that loves you here on
Eternia. You could always celebrate that."
As if on cue, faint voices could be heard from outside.
Adam and Teela were apparently looking for them.
"Celebrate..." Marlena muttered. Then more thoughtfully,
"Celebrate, yes!" She shot to her feet. "If I can't go
home for Christmas, then maybe I can bring Christmas
home!"
"Uh...huh?" Duncan got out, confused.
"Hello? Mom? You in here?" Adam called, sticking his head
in through the door. He came in followed by Teela and
Cringer. He spotted the wreckage. "Wow. Is that...?"
"Yes it is, dear," Marlena replied, distracted. Her mind
was no longer on the past, but on plans for the near
future. "Follow me, everyone!" Marlena commanded as she
strode out past them. "We have a Christmas party to
plan!"
"A...what kinda party?" Adam asked as they followed in
the Queen's wake.
"What's a Christmas?" Teela asked her father.
***
"Dear?"
"...set aside the central area of the throne room as a
dance floor...put the tables on the side..."
"Dear? Can we talk?" Randor tried to catch his wife's
attention again.
"...have to give the cooks a menu...no turkeys on this
planet. Guess we'll settle for any old large bird..."
"Marlena!" Randor shouted, grabbing a hold of her arm.
"Yes, Randor?" Marlena finally acknowledged, pausing from
rattling instructions to the servants.
"Dear, shouldn't we talk about this?" Randor asked in his
most reasonable tone. "This is all so sudden, celebrating
a foreign holiday..."
"But it's Christmas," Marlena protested. "It's that time
of year when you get together with your family and show
how much you care by giving each other gifts. Which
reminds me..." She turned to the accumalating crowd and
shouted, "Everybody! Don't forget to get gifts for your
loved ones!"
"Marlena, please!" Randor tried again. "All this... this
hullaballoo is disrupting the kingdom. There's work that
needs to be done..."
"Oh, yes, thank you for reminding me, dear," Marleena
said suddenly.
"Eh?"
"Give everyone Christmas day off!" she told him
enthusiastically. "Why should we be the only ones who
celebrate? Let's make it planet wide!"
"Everyone?" Randor exclaimed, taken aback at the idea.
"Everyone," Marlena confirmed. She paused. "Well, except
for a few volunteers to keep critical services going. But
yes. Aside from that, everyone." She looked him directly
in the eye. "You will do that, dear. Right?" For the
first time in years, Randor heard real steel in her
voice. Normally, she followed his lead.
"Yes, dear," he agreed meekly.
"Good!" Marlena flashed him a dazzling smile. "Thank you,
Randy."
"Marlena!" Randor hissed. She normally reserved the nick
name for when they were in private. Very private.
But Marlena wasn't paying attention. She had disengaged
her arm from his grip and gone back to planning.
"...put the tree over there in the corner...where do we
get an evergreen? Haven't seen any..."
***
"What is this?"
"Isn't it obvious, Skeletor?" Evil-Lyn said lazily. "It
looks like they're planning a party."
"Ooh, a party!" Beast Man exclaimed.
"I can see that, Evil-Lyn," Skeletor snarled back. "The
question is why?"
"The data suggests a celebration of a holiday from the
Queen's homeworld," Tri-Klops suggested.
"Possibly..." Skeletor said thoughtfully. "No. I don't
believe it. They're plotting against me. I just know it!"
"Them?" Evil-Lyn said scornfully. "They're all just a
bunch of dumb fighters. Good on a battlefield perhaps,
but they couldn't plot themselves out of breakfast."
"Ah, but this is a plot of that offworld witch queen,"
Skeletor pointed out. "Of course she is an expert at
plots! How do you explain that fool Randor marrying her?"
"True love?" Evil-Lyn muttered her breath.
"Skeletor, Queen Marlena is preparing an expedition to
the snowy wastes," Tri-Klops informed him. "It appears
that the object of the expedition is to aquire a...tree?"
"Yes! A tree!" Skeletor exclaimed. "The Queen is working
a great spell - probably against us, maybe even all of
Eternia! And that tree must be a major ingredient!"
"You must be joking," Evil-Lyn said, amazed that Skeletor
actually believed that.
"I didn't get where I am today by underestimating my
opponents, Evil-Lyn," Skeletor retorted.
Evil-Lyn said nothing, but she pointedly examined the
bare skull that was now Skeletor's face. He didn't
notice.
"Yes, she's going to take over Eternia using a great
spell and that tree must be a main ingredient," Skeletor
repeated thoughtfully. "We can't let that happen. Eternia
is mine! Evil-Lyn, take some warriors and stop Queen
Marlena from completing her spell. Learn what the spell
is if you can, but above all, stop her. Save Eternia!"
"Now there's something I never thought I'd hear you say,"
Evil-Lyn commented.
***
"Remind me again," Adam said. "What are we doing here?"
"We're looking for your mother's 'perfect tree'," Teela
replied.
"And we came here?" Adam waved, indicating the broad
expanse of the Snowy Wastes. The party was a sparse
forest of gnarled, twisted looking plants that hugged
low to the ground. "There are plenty of trees around the
palace."
"Adam, haven't you been listening to your mother?" Teela
scolded. "We're looking for a cone shaped tree. Or one
with fur. Or both. I'm not sure which."
"I've never heard of trees like that," Adam told her. He
paused to consider what Teela said. "And what kind of
tree has fur?"
"Trees that grow in snow," Teela guessed. "They must need
it to stand the cold."
Eternia, Marlena had explained as they were setting out,
had considerably less axial tilt than Earth. As a
consequence, there was less seasonal variation. It never
got cold enough to snow around the palace. Thus, there
was little likelihood that Marlena's tree grew around
there. They were more likely to find such a tree where it
did snow: near a polar ice cap.
Aside from the Queen, Adam, and Teela, the expedition
also included a Ram Man, Mechanek, and Man-At-Arms for
security. A long sleigh drawn by a single horse was
brought along for the tree. It was empty except for a few
tools.
"Isn't the cold air invigorating, children?" Marlena
asked cheerfully as Adam and Teela caught up with her.
"I wouldn't quite put it that way, Mom," Adam replied,
shivering at a freezing gust of wind.
"Hey, if we have time, I'll show you how to make a
snowman," Marlena continued.
"A snowman?" Adam echoed. "Is that some kind of magical
construct? Some kind of warrior golem?"
"Yeah, we could add another warrior into the Master's
ranks," Teela suggested.
"Assuming he doesn't melt in warmer weather," Adam added.
Marlena was about to correct them when a crash interupted
her. From the trees appeared three of Skeletor's
warriors: Trap Jaw, Whiplash, and Beast Man. A couple of
griffins dove at them out of the air.
"Adam! Protect the Queen!" Teela exclaimed, rushing to
join the fray.
"What?" Adam said in surprise. For once, Teela didn't
want him to fight? Maybe she expected him to run away
again and wanted him to take his mother with him. But how
could Adam do that and change into He-Man?
"Adam, come this way," Marlena commanded, grabbing Adam
by his collar and dragging him away from the battle. As
she passed the sleigh, Marlena grabbed an ax. "I wouldn't
want my baby to get hurt now."
"Mom," Adam whined. It was one thing to be seen running
from a battle. It was quite another to be dragged from it
by your own mother. He was never going to hear the end of
it from Teela.
"Listen to your mother, dear," Marlena told her son as
they rounded a pile of boulders out of direct view of the
battle. She looked around. "Do you think this is far
enough?"
"Not far enough!" a woman said as she teleported in among
them.
"Evil-Lyn!" Adam cried, drawing his sword. The evil
sorceress had actually appeared between him and his
mother.
"Go away, boy," Evil-Lyn sneered as she zapped Adam,
propelling the young prince backwards. "I'm only here for
the..."
WHAM!
Evil-Lyn crumpled to the ground, knocked unconcious by
the butt end of Marlena's ax.
"Merry Christmas," Marlena muttered to the still form.
"Wow. Go Mom," Adam marveled as he picked himself up off
the ground.
"Thank you, dear," Marlena replied. She cocked her head,
listening to the sound of distant battle. "Adam shouldn't
you hurry up and change?"
"Uh...change?"
"You know, change into He-Man," Marlena elaborated. "You
do that, right?
"No! I don't..." Adam gave up denial. "How'd you know,
Mom? No one else seems to have figured it out." Then he
added bitterly, "Not even Dad."
"There, there, Adam," Marlena comforted. "I don't know
why you didn't tell us, but I respect your decision.
That's why I haven't told your father."
"But... how did you know?" Adam asked again.
"I grew up on a diet of comicbooks, not something I've
seen on this planet," Marlena informed him. Before Adam
could ask what comicbooks were, she added, "When I kept
hearing about you running away before He-Man showing up,
I put two and two together. Now go change, Adam. I think
the others are getting the worst of it."
"Oh, right." Adam raised his sword. "BY THE POWER OF
GREYSKULL..."
"Hmm, sounds better than 'Shazam'," Marlena commented as
lightning crashed.
***
"So...you failed," Skeletor concluded. He was far too
calm.
"It wasn't our fault!" Whiplash protested. "He-Man showed
up and..."
"Silence!" Skeletor commanded, zapping Whiplash. "They
have the tree! Evil-Lyn, how do you explain this
failure?"
"'e-ma' brode m' nodes," Evil-Lyn mumbled.
"Eh?"
"She said, He-Man broke her nose," Trap Jaw translated
with a snicker. "Serves her right, leaving us all by our
lonesomes."
"Ah wa' 'asin' th' Qu'n!" Evil-Lyn protested.
"Lord Skeletor, on the monitor," Tri-Klops interupted.
Everyone's attention turned to the image being sent by a
Doomseeker. It showed the Eternian court of course.
Prince Adam was speaking.
"You should have seen her!" Adam was saying. "Pow! Mom
knocked Evil-Lyn out with a single blow!"
Skeletor turned to glare balefully at Evil-Lyn while the
other henchmen broke up laughing.
***
"Figures," Teela said disgustedly. "You get into trouble
and it's your mother who has to bail you out."
"Hey, I distracted Evi-Lyn long enough to let Mom get her
shot in," Adam protested.
"You got zapped," Teela pointed out.
"Well, yeah..." Adam admitted. This looked like a good
time to change the subject. "By the way, I got you a
gift."
"A gift?" Teela asked, interested. "What is it?"
"It's supposed to be a surprise," Adam told her. "Mom
said we were supposed to get our loved ones a gift so I
got you something..."
"Loved ones?" Teela echoed, looking at Adam strangely.
"Right, not that you count, but...hey! What are you...ow!
Ow! Teela..."
***
"So, that's your perfect tree?" Randor asked his wife,
looking at the gnarled, twisted thing that stood almost
tall enough to reach the ceiling.
"I couldn't find anything resembling an evergreen,"
Marlena sighed. "So I settled for the tallest tree I
could find. Now, for the decorations. I hope Orko came
through."
"You put Orko in charge of decorations?" Randor asked in
shock.
"Of course," Marlena replied. "He's the court jester.
Isn't entertainment his specialty?"
"Yes, but... but Orko's incompetent," Randor protested.
"He'll do a spell that will make a big mess of things!"
As if on cue, Orko came floating around the tree. Before
anyone could stop the little guy in red, he cast a spell
on the tree. In a bright flash, the tree morphed into a
conical shape with lots of little needle like leaves. A
brilliant pinpoint of light blazed away at the tip.
"ORKO!" Marlena shouted, approaching the little wizard.
"Uh, your majesty?" Orko said, startled. He would have
jumped in surprise if he hadn't already been floating. "I
can explain..."
"Orko, it's perfect!" Marlena exclaimed, sweeping Orko up
in a tight hug. She planted a kiss on one exposed ear.
"Thank you."
"I didn't mean to...what?" Orko said, surprised by her
reaction. "Oh, yes, yes. Of course it's perfect!"
"Now we just have to decorate the tree," Marlena
declared.
"Okay, I've got just the spell..." Orko began. He raised
his hands. King Randor hastily grabbed them.
"Let's do this by hand," Randor suggested. Expecting Orko
to get a spell right twice in a row was an unacceptable
risk, a complete fantasy in fact.
"Alright, dear," Marlena conceded with a smile. "We have
time. It's not like I have to go looking for Christmas
dinner now."
***
"So, um, do you know how to prepare roast griffin?" Ram
Man asked.
"No," the chief cook admitted. "But it's going to be a
marvelous challenge!"
"I think I'm going to be sick," Stratos commented.
***
"So, why are we hanging our socks above every fireplace
in the palace?" Teela asked.
"Mom says that the night before Christmas, some fat guy
in red runs around the world stuffing gifts into these,"
Adam told her.
"But we're on Eternia," Teela pointed out. "How's this
guy supposed to get here?"
"Magic I guess," Adam answered. "Mom says he gives gifts
to all the good boys and girls."
"Wow, I guess that leaves you out," Teela teased. "What's
this guy's name anyway?"
"I think Mom said his name was, um, Sandy Claws."
"Ooh, sounds like quite the warrior," Teela said
thoughtfully.
"Uh huh." Adam wrinkled his nose as he hung up another
sock. "Boy, these sure stink. I hope this Sandy Claws
likes that."
"Hey, genius, I think you're supposed to use fresh
socks."
Adam threw a used sock at Teela.
***
"Bah! It looks like I must do things myself," Skeletor
grumbled. "Come minions! We shall attack the palace and
disrupt whatever spell the Queen is casting!"
***
"How do I look, dear?" Marlena asked.
"Beautiful as always, love," Randor replied, eyeing the
oddly tailored red dress. It was almost time for the
Christmas dinner. Marlena had decided to wear a specially
made dress designed specifically for the holiday. He
decided not to ask about the floppy cone hat with the fur
tuff on the end.
"Well, you're not exactly impartial," Marlena said,
smiling.
"And I hope I never am," Randor replied, planting a kiss
on her cheek.
"Ooh! Randy!"
***
The dinner almost went off with out a hitch.
The roast griffin was brought out, and it smelled just
heavenly. Practically everyone right down to the servants
were seated and waiting to eat. Even the cooks and their
assistants had a table set aside for them.
"To my darling wife, the Queen!" Randor toasted.
"The QUEEN!" everyone cheered back.
"When this whole affair started, I'll admit I had my
doubts," Randor continued. "But seeing the joy on all
your faces after all the trials of the last year... well,
I can see this is just what we all needed. Merry
Christmas everyone!"
"MERRY CHRISTMAS!"
"That was wonderful, Randor," Marlena told her husband as
he sat back down.
"Thankyou, I..."
Whatever he had been about to say was rudely interupted
when the throne room door exploded inward. Stepping
through its remains came several sisister figures.
"Skeletor!" Randor snarled, leaping to his feet and
drawing his sword. The whisper of other weapons being
drawn could also be heard.
"Surprised, brother?" Skeletor laughed. "Did you think I
would stand idly by while your wife cast some great spell
against me? Hardly! Minions, at..."
"STOP!"
Crisp, clear, and loud, Marlena's voice froze everyone
where they were. Every eye turned towards the Queen.
"This is Christmas," Marlena said flatly as she stood up.
She rounded the table and stalked towards the intruders,
hauling up a bulky bag along the way. "Christmas! This is
a time for peace and harmony. I will not have it marred
by violence!"
Skeletor opened his mouth to say something as Marena came
to a stop in front of him.
"SILENCE!" Marlena commanded. Skeletor's mouth snapped
shut without a word. "This is time time for family and
forgiveness and gift giving. By the way, here." She
handed Skeletor the bag she had hauled with her.
"What...?" a completely confused Skeletor began.
"Gifts for you and yours," Marlena explained. "I thought
you might show up so I came prepared." She glanced back
at her now gaping husband. "Much as Randor hates to admit
it, you ARE family after all. Oh! I'm such a bad host.
Have any of you eaten yet? Cook!"
"Ma'am?" the chief cook croaked, not sure who to be more
afraid of: Skeletor or the fearless Queen.
"Be a dear and get plates and dinner for Skeletor's
party," she told him. The cook hesitated. "NOW!" The cook
and his staff scrambled to carry out the order.
"My griffin!" Beast Man mourned when he was handed a
plate piled with food. Then he took a sniff, followed
shortly by a taste. "Hey, this isn't bad!"
"Tasty," Whiplash added.
"Skeletor?" Trap Jaw inquired, unsure what to do. They
were here to battle, right? So why were their enemies
giving them gifts and food? It didn't make sense.
"Now, it was so kind of you to visit, Skeletor," Marlena
continued as she gently turned the befuddled villain
around and guided him towards the door. The henchmen just
followed behind, preoccupied with their dinners. "We must
do this again. Come back tomorrow if you still want to
attack. Oh, and have a Merry Christmas!"
When Marlena returned after sending Skeletor and company
home, the throne room was utterly silent. The Queen
didn't deign to notice everyone staring at her as she
returned to her seat. It was only after she sat down that
she reacted.
"What?" she inquired of everybody. "Weren't we having a
party?"
The room erupted into a thunderous, cheering applause.
***
Teela examined Adam's gift. "What is this?" she asked
him holding up the doll.
"It's me!" Adam told her.
"Can't be," Teela said dubiously. "It's too bulky. And
what's with the hair cut?"
"No, really, it is," Adam insisted. "And that's not the
only thing. If you dip that in cold water, he turns into
He-Man!"
Sitting next to Teela, Man-At-Arms began choking on his
wine.
"You? Turn into He-Man?" Teela scoffed. "Oh, please! In
what alternate universe is that possible?"
In reply, Adam just banged his head on the table.
***
"Hey, I got a new chew toy!" Beast Man exclaimed
excitedly.
"What is this supposed to be?" Evil-Lyn mused, her nose
now magically fixed. She drew a strange object from the
box marked as her present. It appeared to be some kind
of foldable visor with an artificial nose and mustache
attached. "Skeletor, what did you get?"
"I'm not sure," Skeletor replied, studying his gift. "I
am still trying to determine what magic it holds. That
Earth witch repelled us from the palace without a fight!
There must be great magic at work here. There must!"
Curious, Evil-Lyn took a look at Skeletor's gift. "It's
just a rock, Skeletor," she said, bemused.
"Coal," Tri-Klops added, toying with some kind of tubular
device with a glass lens at both ends. "Anthracite
actually. Very good quality."
"But a magic rock, surely," Skeletor insisted. "I will
not rest until I discover what magic it holds!"
This could take a while, Evil-Lyn thought to herself.
***
"You were amazing out there, Marlena," Randor told his
wife. "But how did you drive off Skeletor?"
"Just a little bit of Christmas spirit, Randor," Marlena
said with a smile.
"Must be a powerful spirit indeed," Randor mused. "It
certainly got me to turn the whole kingdom upside down
for it." He looked at his people. Everyone seemed to be
enjoying themselves. "Not that this was a bad thing."
"Yes," Marlena agreed. "And just think. When we do this
next year, we'll have a lot more time to plan..."
"Next year?" Randor echoed in horror.
MERRY CHRISTMAS!!!
Author: Nopporn Wongrassamee aka the Evil Author
EMail Address: EvilAuthor@aol.com
Archive: Anywhere and everywhere. Just tell me if you do.
Spoilers: Anything goes. Set in the 2002 series.
Summary: Queen Marlena is determined for everyone to have
a Merry Christmas... even though no one knows what it
is!
Disclaimer: Characters and concepts belong to their
owners who I'm too lazy to list.
It started with her watch.
The day was bright and sunny as usual. Marlena, Queen of
the planet Eternia, loving wife and mother, was getting
dressed for court. While rooting through her jewelery
box, she found a little piece of her past discarded
carelessly in a dark corner.
Nostalgic, she picked it up. It was still running she
saw. Figures, she thought. Almost twenty years ago, her
two million credit, state of the art survey ship had come
crashing out of the sky. Something in its five hundred
thousand credit drive system had failed catastrophically.
The twenty thousand credit hull was melted, abraded, and
torn beyond repair. Marlena had only survived because of
the ten thousand credit safety systems.
And after all this time, the only piece of Earth
technology still working was a cheap five credit wrist
watch she had bought at the last minute from the starport
gift shop. The irony was priceless.
Then the date caught Marlena's eye. She had stopped
wearing the watch because it was set to Earth time. The
Eternian day and year were similar in length to their
Earth counterparts, but the difference was just enough to
make trying to tell time by the watch completely
pointless.
But the watch could still say what the date was back on
Earth. It was almost Christmas.
***
She had begged off from attending court today. Although
her husband, Randor, had been put out when she didn't
explain why, he recognized that something was disturbing
his wife.
Today, Marlena decided to give to the past. In a little
used storage room under the palace was the salvaged
remains of her ship. Long ago, Duncan had offered to try
to repair it (rebuild it would have been more accurate).
Marlena had declined the offer. There would have been no
point; the navcomputer was completely fried. Even if
Duncan managed to get the ship flying again, Marlena had
no idea where Earth was in relation to Eternia.
Now, Marlena sat in the pilot's seat, conveniently set
apart on the store room floor from the rest of the
wreckage. Other seats from the ship were also set out,
all arranged around a dead holo-projection table. She sat
and reminisced.
"Your Majesty?" someone called from the door behind her.
"Hello, Duncan," Marlena replied, not looking at him.
"Have a seat."
Duncan appeared in her field of vision and took the seat
next to hers. "King Randor is worried about you," he
began. "He sent me to find you."
"How did you find me?" Marlena asked, curious. This place
was well off the beaten track so to speak.
"It's not often royalty comes down here," Duncan replied.
"Your passage caused some comment. Is something bothering
you, Your Majesty?"
"Oh, it's nothing, Duncan," Marlena reassured him. "I'm
just homesick I guess.
"For Earth?"
"In a way." Marlena showed Duncan her watch.
Duncan recognized it. He had been fascinated with it
years ago. With Eternia'ss feudal economy, the only
people who needed clocks of any kind at all were
engineers like Duncan who worked with equipment where
timing was important. Who else on Eternia needed to tell
time closer than an hour anyway?
"Right now, it's the Christmas season back on Earth,"
Marlena elaborated. "Christmas is arguably the most
celebrated holiday there with the exception of maybe New
Year's. This time of year, my family would be getting
together to celebrate."
"Oh," Duncan said uncomfortably. He could see where this
was going.
"My parents would be hosting and getting Christmas dinner
ready for the rest of us," Marlena continued. "My sister
would be trying to buy gifts at the last minute. My
brother would be on leave from the Service with his
girlfriend..." Marlena paused. "My god, I could be an
aunt now and not even know it. And I have a son that the
rest of my family has never met. For that matter, they
probably think I've been dead for twenty years."
"Your Majesty... Marlena," Duncan said when she lapsed
into silence. "Look on the bright side. You're healthy
and whole and you do have a family that loves you here on
Eternia. You could always celebrate that."
As if on cue, faint voices could be heard from outside.
Adam and Teela were apparently looking for them.
"Celebrate..." Marlena muttered. Then more thoughtfully,
"Celebrate, yes!" She shot to her feet. "If I can't go
home for Christmas, then maybe I can bring Christmas
home!"
"Uh...huh?" Duncan got out, confused.
"Hello? Mom? You in here?" Adam called, sticking his head
in through the door. He came in followed by Teela and
Cringer. He spotted the wreckage. "Wow. Is that...?"
"Yes it is, dear," Marlena replied, distracted. Her mind
was no longer on the past, but on plans for the near
future. "Follow me, everyone!" Marlena commanded as she
strode out past them. "We have a Christmas party to
plan!"
"A...what kinda party?" Adam asked as they followed in
the Queen's wake.
"What's a Christmas?" Teela asked her father.
***
"Dear?"
"...set aside the central area of the throne room as a
dance floor...put the tables on the side..."
"Dear? Can we talk?" Randor tried to catch his wife's
attention again.
"...have to give the cooks a menu...no turkeys on this
planet. Guess we'll settle for any old large bird..."
"Marlena!" Randor shouted, grabbing a hold of her arm.
"Yes, Randor?" Marlena finally acknowledged, pausing from
rattling instructions to the servants.
"Dear, shouldn't we talk about this?" Randor asked in his
most reasonable tone. "This is all so sudden, celebrating
a foreign holiday..."
"But it's Christmas," Marlena protested. "It's that time
of year when you get together with your family and show
how much you care by giving each other gifts. Which
reminds me..." She turned to the accumalating crowd and
shouted, "Everybody! Don't forget to get gifts for your
loved ones!"
"Marlena, please!" Randor tried again. "All this... this
hullaballoo is disrupting the kingdom. There's work that
needs to be done..."
"Oh, yes, thank you for reminding me, dear," Marleena
said suddenly.
"Eh?"
"Give everyone Christmas day off!" she told him
enthusiastically. "Why should we be the only ones who
celebrate? Let's make it planet wide!"
"Everyone?" Randor exclaimed, taken aback at the idea.
"Everyone," Marlena confirmed. She paused. "Well, except
for a few volunteers to keep critical services going. But
yes. Aside from that, everyone." She looked him directly
in the eye. "You will do that, dear. Right?" For the
first time in years, Randor heard real steel in her
voice. Normally, she followed his lead.
"Yes, dear," he agreed meekly.
"Good!" Marlena flashed him a dazzling smile. "Thank you,
Randy."
"Marlena!" Randor hissed. She normally reserved the nick
name for when they were in private. Very private.
But Marlena wasn't paying attention. She had disengaged
her arm from his grip and gone back to planning.
"...put the tree over there in the corner...where do we
get an evergreen? Haven't seen any..."
***
"What is this?"
"Isn't it obvious, Skeletor?" Evil-Lyn said lazily. "It
looks like they're planning a party."
"Ooh, a party!" Beast Man exclaimed.
"I can see that, Evil-Lyn," Skeletor snarled back. "The
question is why?"
"The data suggests a celebration of a holiday from the
Queen's homeworld," Tri-Klops suggested.
"Possibly..." Skeletor said thoughtfully. "No. I don't
believe it. They're plotting against me. I just know it!"
"Them?" Evil-Lyn said scornfully. "They're all just a
bunch of dumb fighters. Good on a battlefield perhaps,
but they couldn't plot themselves out of breakfast."
"Ah, but this is a plot of that offworld witch queen,"
Skeletor pointed out. "Of course she is an expert at
plots! How do you explain that fool Randor marrying her?"
"True love?" Evil-Lyn muttered her breath.
"Skeletor, Queen Marlena is preparing an expedition to
the snowy wastes," Tri-Klops informed him. "It appears
that the object of the expedition is to aquire a...tree?"
"Yes! A tree!" Skeletor exclaimed. "The Queen is working
a great spell - probably against us, maybe even all of
Eternia! And that tree must be a major ingredient!"
"You must be joking," Evil-Lyn said, amazed that Skeletor
actually believed that.
"I didn't get where I am today by underestimating my
opponents, Evil-Lyn," Skeletor retorted.
Evil-Lyn said nothing, but she pointedly examined the
bare skull that was now Skeletor's face. He didn't
notice.
"Yes, she's going to take over Eternia using a great
spell and that tree must be a main ingredient," Skeletor
repeated thoughtfully. "We can't let that happen. Eternia
is mine! Evil-Lyn, take some warriors and stop Queen
Marlena from completing her spell. Learn what the spell
is if you can, but above all, stop her. Save Eternia!"
"Now there's something I never thought I'd hear you say,"
Evil-Lyn commented.
***
"Remind me again," Adam said. "What are we doing here?"
"We're looking for your mother's 'perfect tree'," Teela
replied.
"And we came here?" Adam waved, indicating the broad
expanse of the Snowy Wastes. The party was a sparse
forest of gnarled, twisted looking plants that hugged
low to the ground. "There are plenty of trees around the
palace."
"Adam, haven't you been listening to your mother?" Teela
scolded. "We're looking for a cone shaped tree. Or one
with fur. Or both. I'm not sure which."
"I've never heard of trees like that," Adam told her. He
paused to consider what Teela said. "And what kind of
tree has fur?"
"Trees that grow in snow," Teela guessed. "They must need
it to stand the cold."
Eternia, Marlena had explained as they were setting out,
had considerably less axial tilt than Earth. As a
consequence, there was less seasonal variation. It never
got cold enough to snow around the palace. Thus, there
was little likelihood that Marlena's tree grew around
there. They were more likely to find such a tree where it
did snow: near a polar ice cap.
Aside from the Queen, Adam, and Teela, the expedition
also included a Ram Man, Mechanek, and Man-At-Arms for
security. A long sleigh drawn by a single horse was
brought along for the tree. It was empty except for a few
tools.
"Isn't the cold air invigorating, children?" Marlena
asked cheerfully as Adam and Teela caught up with her.
"I wouldn't quite put it that way, Mom," Adam replied,
shivering at a freezing gust of wind.
"Hey, if we have time, I'll show you how to make a
snowman," Marlena continued.
"A snowman?" Adam echoed. "Is that some kind of magical
construct? Some kind of warrior golem?"
"Yeah, we could add another warrior into the Master's
ranks," Teela suggested.
"Assuming he doesn't melt in warmer weather," Adam added.
Marlena was about to correct them when a crash interupted
her. From the trees appeared three of Skeletor's
warriors: Trap Jaw, Whiplash, and Beast Man. A couple of
griffins dove at them out of the air.
"Adam! Protect the Queen!" Teela exclaimed, rushing to
join the fray.
"What?" Adam said in surprise. For once, Teela didn't
want him to fight? Maybe she expected him to run away
again and wanted him to take his mother with him. But how
could Adam do that and change into He-Man?
"Adam, come this way," Marlena commanded, grabbing Adam
by his collar and dragging him away from the battle. As
she passed the sleigh, Marlena grabbed an ax. "I wouldn't
want my baby to get hurt now."
"Mom," Adam whined. It was one thing to be seen running
from a battle. It was quite another to be dragged from it
by your own mother. He was never going to hear the end of
it from Teela.
"Listen to your mother, dear," Marlena told her son as
they rounded a pile of boulders out of direct view of the
battle. She looked around. "Do you think this is far
enough?"
"Not far enough!" a woman said as she teleported in among
them.
"Evil-Lyn!" Adam cried, drawing his sword. The evil
sorceress had actually appeared between him and his
mother.
"Go away, boy," Evil-Lyn sneered as she zapped Adam,
propelling the young prince backwards. "I'm only here for
the..."
WHAM!
Evil-Lyn crumpled to the ground, knocked unconcious by
the butt end of Marlena's ax.
"Merry Christmas," Marlena muttered to the still form.
"Wow. Go Mom," Adam marveled as he picked himself up off
the ground.
"Thank you, dear," Marlena replied. She cocked her head,
listening to the sound of distant battle. "Adam shouldn't
you hurry up and change?"
"Uh...change?"
"You know, change into He-Man," Marlena elaborated. "You
do that, right?
"No! I don't..." Adam gave up denial. "How'd you know,
Mom? No one else seems to have figured it out." Then he
added bitterly, "Not even Dad."
"There, there, Adam," Marlena comforted. "I don't know
why you didn't tell us, but I respect your decision.
That's why I haven't told your father."
"But... how did you know?" Adam asked again.
"I grew up on a diet of comicbooks, not something I've
seen on this planet," Marlena informed him. Before Adam
could ask what comicbooks were, she added, "When I kept
hearing about you running away before He-Man showing up,
I put two and two together. Now go change, Adam. I think
the others are getting the worst of it."
"Oh, right." Adam raised his sword. "BY THE POWER OF
GREYSKULL..."
"Hmm, sounds better than 'Shazam'," Marlena commented as
lightning crashed.
***
"So...you failed," Skeletor concluded. He was far too
calm.
"It wasn't our fault!" Whiplash protested. "He-Man showed
up and..."
"Silence!" Skeletor commanded, zapping Whiplash. "They
have the tree! Evil-Lyn, how do you explain this
failure?"
"'e-ma' brode m' nodes," Evil-Lyn mumbled.
"Eh?"
"She said, He-Man broke her nose," Trap Jaw translated
with a snicker. "Serves her right, leaving us all by our
lonesomes."
"Ah wa' 'asin' th' Qu'n!" Evil-Lyn protested.
"Lord Skeletor, on the monitor," Tri-Klops interupted.
Everyone's attention turned to the image being sent by a
Doomseeker. It showed the Eternian court of course.
Prince Adam was speaking.
"You should have seen her!" Adam was saying. "Pow! Mom
knocked Evil-Lyn out with a single blow!"
Skeletor turned to glare balefully at Evil-Lyn while the
other henchmen broke up laughing.
***
"Figures," Teela said disgustedly. "You get into trouble
and it's your mother who has to bail you out."
"Hey, I distracted Evi-Lyn long enough to let Mom get her
shot in," Adam protested.
"You got zapped," Teela pointed out.
"Well, yeah..." Adam admitted. This looked like a good
time to change the subject. "By the way, I got you a
gift."
"A gift?" Teela asked, interested. "What is it?"
"It's supposed to be a surprise," Adam told her. "Mom
said we were supposed to get our loved ones a gift so I
got you something..."
"Loved ones?" Teela echoed, looking at Adam strangely.
"Right, not that you count, but...hey! What are you...ow!
Ow! Teela..."
***
"So, that's your perfect tree?" Randor asked his wife,
looking at the gnarled, twisted thing that stood almost
tall enough to reach the ceiling.
"I couldn't find anything resembling an evergreen,"
Marlena sighed. "So I settled for the tallest tree I
could find. Now, for the decorations. I hope Orko came
through."
"You put Orko in charge of decorations?" Randor asked in
shock.
"Of course," Marlena replied. "He's the court jester.
Isn't entertainment his specialty?"
"Yes, but... but Orko's incompetent," Randor protested.
"He'll do a spell that will make a big mess of things!"
As if on cue, Orko came floating around the tree. Before
anyone could stop the little guy in red, he cast a spell
on the tree. In a bright flash, the tree morphed into a
conical shape with lots of little needle like leaves. A
brilliant pinpoint of light blazed away at the tip.
"ORKO!" Marlena shouted, approaching the little wizard.
"Uh, your majesty?" Orko said, startled. He would have
jumped in surprise if he hadn't already been floating. "I
can explain..."
"Orko, it's perfect!" Marlena exclaimed, sweeping Orko up
in a tight hug. She planted a kiss on one exposed ear.
"Thank you."
"I didn't mean to...what?" Orko said, surprised by her
reaction. "Oh, yes, yes. Of course it's perfect!"
"Now we just have to decorate the tree," Marlena
declared.
"Okay, I've got just the spell..." Orko began. He raised
his hands. King Randor hastily grabbed them.
"Let's do this by hand," Randor suggested. Expecting Orko
to get a spell right twice in a row was an unacceptable
risk, a complete fantasy in fact.
"Alright, dear," Marlena conceded with a smile. "We have
time. It's not like I have to go looking for Christmas
dinner now."
***
"So, um, do you know how to prepare roast griffin?" Ram
Man asked.
"No," the chief cook admitted. "But it's going to be a
marvelous challenge!"
"I think I'm going to be sick," Stratos commented.
***
"So, why are we hanging our socks above every fireplace
in the palace?" Teela asked.
"Mom says that the night before Christmas, some fat guy
in red runs around the world stuffing gifts into these,"
Adam told her.
"But we're on Eternia," Teela pointed out. "How's this
guy supposed to get here?"
"Magic I guess," Adam answered. "Mom says he gives gifts
to all the good boys and girls."
"Wow, I guess that leaves you out," Teela teased. "What's
this guy's name anyway?"
"I think Mom said his name was, um, Sandy Claws."
"Ooh, sounds like quite the warrior," Teela said
thoughtfully.
"Uh huh." Adam wrinkled his nose as he hung up another
sock. "Boy, these sure stink. I hope this Sandy Claws
likes that."
"Hey, genius, I think you're supposed to use fresh
socks."
Adam threw a used sock at Teela.
***
"Bah! It looks like I must do things myself," Skeletor
grumbled. "Come minions! We shall attack the palace and
disrupt whatever spell the Queen is casting!"
***
"How do I look, dear?" Marlena asked.
"Beautiful as always, love," Randor replied, eyeing the
oddly tailored red dress. It was almost time for the
Christmas dinner. Marlena had decided to wear a specially
made dress designed specifically for the holiday. He
decided not to ask about the floppy cone hat with the fur
tuff on the end.
"Well, you're not exactly impartial," Marlena said,
smiling.
"And I hope I never am," Randor replied, planting a kiss
on her cheek.
"Ooh! Randy!"
***
The dinner almost went off with out a hitch.
The roast griffin was brought out, and it smelled just
heavenly. Practically everyone right down to the servants
were seated and waiting to eat. Even the cooks and their
assistants had a table set aside for them.
"To my darling wife, the Queen!" Randor toasted.
"The QUEEN!" everyone cheered back.
"When this whole affair started, I'll admit I had my
doubts," Randor continued. "But seeing the joy on all
your faces after all the trials of the last year... well,
I can see this is just what we all needed. Merry
Christmas everyone!"
"MERRY CHRISTMAS!"
"That was wonderful, Randor," Marlena told her husband as
he sat back down.
"Thankyou, I..."
Whatever he had been about to say was rudely interupted
when the throne room door exploded inward. Stepping
through its remains came several sisister figures.
"Skeletor!" Randor snarled, leaping to his feet and
drawing his sword. The whisper of other weapons being
drawn could also be heard.
"Surprised, brother?" Skeletor laughed. "Did you think I
would stand idly by while your wife cast some great spell
against me? Hardly! Minions, at..."
"STOP!"
Crisp, clear, and loud, Marlena's voice froze everyone
where they were. Every eye turned towards the Queen.
"This is Christmas," Marlena said flatly as she stood up.
She rounded the table and stalked towards the intruders,
hauling up a bulky bag along the way. "Christmas! This is
a time for peace and harmony. I will not have it marred
by violence!"
Skeletor opened his mouth to say something as Marena came
to a stop in front of him.
"SILENCE!" Marlena commanded. Skeletor's mouth snapped
shut without a word. "This is time time for family and
forgiveness and gift giving. By the way, here." She
handed Skeletor the bag she had hauled with her.
"What...?" a completely confused Skeletor began.
"Gifts for you and yours," Marlena explained. "I thought
you might show up so I came prepared." She glanced back
at her now gaping husband. "Much as Randor hates to admit
it, you ARE family after all. Oh! I'm such a bad host.
Have any of you eaten yet? Cook!"
"Ma'am?" the chief cook croaked, not sure who to be more
afraid of: Skeletor or the fearless Queen.
"Be a dear and get plates and dinner for Skeletor's
party," she told him. The cook hesitated. "NOW!" The cook
and his staff scrambled to carry out the order.
"My griffin!" Beast Man mourned when he was handed a
plate piled with food. Then he took a sniff, followed
shortly by a taste. "Hey, this isn't bad!"
"Tasty," Whiplash added.
"Skeletor?" Trap Jaw inquired, unsure what to do. They
were here to battle, right? So why were their enemies
giving them gifts and food? It didn't make sense.
"Now, it was so kind of you to visit, Skeletor," Marlena
continued as she gently turned the befuddled villain
around and guided him towards the door. The henchmen just
followed behind, preoccupied with their dinners. "We must
do this again. Come back tomorrow if you still want to
attack. Oh, and have a Merry Christmas!"
When Marlena returned after sending Skeletor and company
home, the throne room was utterly silent. The Queen
didn't deign to notice everyone staring at her as she
returned to her seat. It was only after she sat down that
she reacted.
"What?" she inquired of everybody. "Weren't we having a
party?"
The room erupted into a thunderous, cheering applause.
***
Teela examined Adam's gift. "What is this?" she asked
him holding up the doll.
"It's me!" Adam told her.
"Can't be," Teela said dubiously. "It's too bulky. And
what's with the hair cut?"
"No, really, it is," Adam insisted. "And that's not the
only thing. If you dip that in cold water, he turns into
He-Man!"
Sitting next to Teela, Man-At-Arms began choking on his
wine.
"You? Turn into He-Man?" Teela scoffed. "Oh, please! In
what alternate universe is that possible?"
In reply, Adam just banged his head on the table.
***
"Hey, I got a new chew toy!" Beast Man exclaimed
excitedly.
"What is this supposed to be?" Evil-Lyn mused, her nose
now magically fixed. She drew a strange object from the
box marked as her present. It appeared to be some kind
of foldable visor with an artificial nose and mustache
attached. "Skeletor, what did you get?"
"I'm not sure," Skeletor replied, studying his gift. "I
am still trying to determine what magic it holds. That
Earth witch repelled us from the palace without a fight!
There must be great magic at work here. There must!"
Curious, Evil-Lyn took a look at Skeletor's gift. "It's
just a rock, Skeletor," she said, bemused.
"Coal," Tri-Klops added, toying with some kind of tubular
device with a glass lens at both ends. "Anthracite
actually. Very good quality."
"But a magic rock, surely," Skeletor insisted. "I will
not rest until I discover what magic it holds!"
This could take a while, Evil-Lyn thought to herself.
***
"You were amazing out there, Marlena," Randor told his
wife. "But how did you drive off Skeletor?"
"Just a little bit of Christmas spirit, Randor," Marlena
said with a smile.
"Must be a powerful spirit indeed," Randor mused. "It
certainly got me to turn the whole kingdom upside down
for it." He looked at his people. Everyone seemed to be
enjoying themselves. "Not that this was a bad thing."
"Yes," Marlena agreed. "And just think. When we do this
next year, we'll have a lot more time to plan..."
"Next year?" Randor echoed in horror.
MERRY CHRISTMAS!!!