It Could Be Worse (2nd Season)
Episode 10:
An Interlude
By Sulia Serafine
[A Protector of the Small fanfic set in an alternate universe; all credit goes to Tamora Pierce. I'm broke, so you can't sue me. Any other copyrighted things that don't belong to me in here in fact belong to other very businesslike people. Could you believe that? I guess that's why I'm broke.
BAD LANGUAGE (I. E. cursing, swearing…)! E-mail me at silverwlng@aol.com okay? And you know the drill: titles or subjects of emails are fanfiction.net, s.serafine, or icbw.
NEW! For those of you I left in the dark (so sorry, by the way), I have a new series: The Gift. It's the sequel to ICBW, but I'm running it parallel to its mother series so you, the wonderful reader, can get little tidbits of foreshadowing and the like. It only makes sense after you read episode 9 of season 2, so that's why I waited. For every three episodes of ICBW, an episode of The Gift will come out, so have fun reading!
I'm still accepting people into the mailing list. That means you'll be told when the next episode is posted, as well as other tidbits of information about the series whenever I put them online. ALSO: Every now and then, as a pledge, I'll send everyone bonus material, such as drawings of ICBW characters and little random facts about ICBW.
~~
"She's coming here? You're not kidding?" a certain redhead asked while placing a firm grip on his friend's arm.
Faleron loosed himself from the tight hold and patted his limb, trying to help the circulation along. "Yes, yes. She's coming. Ms. Sarrasri told me that Mr. Olau was sending her and some other representatives to help the investigation."
"What investigation?"
The shorter man sighed. "The bank robberies."
"Oh. Those. Oh yeah! I remember now!"
"I don't see how you could forget. It just happened two weeks ago!"
Cleon Kennan shrugged. "I've had other things on my mind."
Faleron rolled his eyes. "Otherwise known as the holoscreen."
They bickered for a few more minutes until Faleron's lunch break was over. Then Faleron went back to work and Cleon decided he would, too. No one ever missed him at the station, but perhaps she was there. He couldn't pass up the chance of seeing his personal goddess.
"Kalasin," he murmured dreamily. Faleron and his other friends couldn't imagine how and why Cleon was be head-over-heels in love with a woman who didn't think much of him in return. He couldn't help it. A person didn't choose who they fell in love with. They just did.
He was very tempted to track her down and ask for a date. There was always a chance she could say yes. He had a strange feeling that fate would favor him today. It never hurt to hope. Who knew? Kalasin had a heart. He knew that much, since she obviously kept in touch with Roald, her younger brother. Could she have a heart for Cleon, too?
His pager started to beep. He checked the message. Keladry wanted a few things from the store and wondered if Cleon was nice enough to drop by and get it for her. After all, he had the car and she didn't. It was never in Cleon to be impolite to Kel—an older sister figure for him though he was older—even when the request put his ambitions in second. He sent his replying message, telling her that he'd be glad to.
The love of his life would have to wait just fifteen more minutes.
~~
The first thought to emerge in Kel's mind when she heard the phone ring was that Cleon had not understood the list that she had paged him. He could have paged her, but since he talked incessantly by nature, paging would be an inconvenience. He'd call her.
"Fresh lettuce and croutons, Cleon. It's not that hard to remember. Did you forget the rest, too?"
"Sorry to disappoint, but this isn't Cleon."
Keladry nearly dropped the phone. "Oh! Liam, I'm so sorry. I thought you were Cleon—he's at the grocery store and… well…"
"I think I get the idea. Anyway, I'm not contacting you to discuss produce and toasted bits of bread."
"Of course not," she replied in an even voice, wanting to kick herself.
He continued. "It's been almost a fortnight since I last saw you, and I was sincerely setting my heart on another encounter."
I wonder who uses the term 'fortnight' anymore, Kel mused. She smiled to herself and responded. "I'd like that."
Don't I sound so sophisticated next to him? Oh, I bet, she thought sarcastically. Ah well. I don't mind that. He's a nice guy and he's always been wonderful to talk to, especially since all these things have been happening: the bank robberies… Stone having a son—
She snapped back into reality and cleared her throat. "How would you like to come to the carnival with me? I heard there's one set up just on the edge of town."
"I've never been to a carnival."
"Neither have I." Never allowed myself anything that fun. "So, yes?"
He chuckled—a deep, rich, and pleasing sound to her ears. It was a beautiful laugh. "Oh yes. Most definitely."
"All right then. Um, so should I meet you there…?"
"No, why don't I just drop by your place? That is, unless the 'guard dog' is still frothing at the mouth," he trailed off suggestively.
Keladry mentally smacked herself in the forehead. "Stone will be out of the way. Don't worry about him."
"I know this is most likely none of my business, but what is his problem? Ex-boyfriend, perhaps?"
"Oh, no! No, no, no." She gnawed on her lower lip. It would take volumes of books to explain Joren's problems. She settled for a half-lie. "He's usually the self-appointed leader on missions and he's a bit of a control freak."
"Even when it's nothing to do with the job?"
"Yeah. I know, freaky. Let's stop talking about him."
He paused. "Right. Sorry. Is six-thirty suitable for you?"
"Perfect."
"Then until I see you again…Kel."
In turn, Kel said a goodbye that was quite mousy in comparison with his. She put down the phone and looked at the clock. It was still noontime. Approximately six hours until she saw his charming self again. Kel had to admit; she liked him. He was a refreshing change from the life she led. Liam represented everything that wasn't her life. Calm, rational, pleasantly uneventful, but still full of vivacity. She wanted that so much.
The alternative was too difficult to deal with and often caused her to shout and scream.
"Liam Irons. Now there's a good normal guy when I need one," she muttered.
The whole 'dating' thing was still very new to Keladry, but she thought to herself that she was doing a pretty good job so far. Never in her life did other people consider her date-material. The point was that she didn't want to be that workaholic girl so much anymore. People took advantage of that girl's hidden weaknesses. Certain blond people who just wanted her as miserable as them…
The phone rang. She picked it up.
"Did you forget something, Liam?"
The next was a rush of words that she could barely discern. "Uh… It's Cleon, Kel. I was wondering what type of salad dressing you wanted. You, um, weren't that specific, and I didn't want to guess because then I might have to make a second trip if I was wrong and that would take a lot of time and of course, a waste of fuel… You think that wouldn't be an issue in a hover car, but you know how it goes, Kel—"
She shook her head. "Ranch. Ranch is good."
A pause. "Oh. Okay!"
"And Cleon?"
"Yeah?"
Keladry thought better of her comment. "Nothing. See you in a bit."
"See ya, Kiwi-Kel!"
"Whoa! Wait, what did you just call m—" Kel looked at the phone incredulously and realized that he had hung up. She smiled and set it down on its hook.
~~
For a little over a week, Joren Stone had been at war with himself. He would sit down and stare at it, wondering if he should. Well, of course, the polite thing would be to do so—something noncommittal. After it was over, he would not have to give it another thought ever again.
He stood and paced about, ignoring the fact that he ought to busy himself with other activities. He couldn't draw his mind from it. The troubled blond man paced and paced. He sat and tapped his foot. He stood and paced again.
It was a sheer miracle that Joren finally sat and reached for it.
His twitchy fingers hovered over then pressed down. The pattern of movement had been memorized from the countless times that he stared at it. His other hand, picked up the phone receiver and put it up to his ear. He waited anxiously, wondering if it wasn't too late to back out and go back to pacing. But his arm was frozen, and he waited.
"Hello?"
"Hey," he said. "It's me." There was a crash on the other end of the phone line. It sounded like dishes. He stood up, picking up the other part of the phone in his free hand. "Julia?"
Her phone was hastily picked up again. At least she hadn't dropped a COMscreen. "I'm here! Oh, Jack, I was hoping you would call."
Joren scratched the back of his neck. "Yeah. I meant to. I was a little busy."
Busy driving myself crazy.
"So…" he started again.
"I want you to come over," she said softly.
"Come over?"
"For dinner," she explained. "I still like to cook. And I want to hear how things have been going for you, Jack."
He rested his face against the palm of his upraised hand. Joren had never told her who he really was. How many nights had Julia thought of 'Jack Winston' while he was gone? How much did she believe?
She believes all of it. She has nothing else to believe in.
"Julia."
"What? Oh, how stupid of me. If tonight's not good, we can have dinner some other night." She chuckled. It sounded hollow.
"Julia, I can't see you anymore," Joren said firmly. He took a deep breath and tried desperately to ward off all his memories of her. Oh, how her touch had been so gentle and caressing. How attentive she had been to his pain.
"W…why?"
He gritted his teeth, frustrated and angry. "That period of my life is over. I have a different life now. I can't just forget it and go back with you. That life was hell. You remember how it was for me." He tried to cajole her to recall. "You saw how torn up I was. I had to leave. I did."
She whispered, "But you came back."
He was silent for a few minutes after that.
"Jack?"
Joren winced. "Listen. I'll come over for dinner tonight and we'll talk more then, okay?"
"Okay. Six-thirty all right?" Julia sounded so naïve. He couldn't stand it. It wasn't her fault that she didn't know. He was the one keeping everyone in the dark. He owed it to her to at least have one last dinner with her. Just like old times.
"Sure. Six-thirty is fine," he replied in a softer voice.
"Well, see you later. Oh—and Jack?"
"Yeah?"
"I missed you."
He started to say something, but then hung up.
~~
Cleon swung the plastic shopping basket around and whistled. He looked across the row of checkout counters and their lines, wondering which was the shortest.
Wow, there is a whole bunch of people shopping today, he thought. He spotted the Express Lane (ten items or less) at the very end and strode toward it with another tune upon his lips. He stood at the back of the line and read the headlines and covers of the magazine rack.
"Celebrity News: Presidential Advisor Alanna Trebond Pregnant. Hubby George Swoop Exclaims 'Again?'" He paused. "Weird."
"I'm sorry! The cash register is broken!" the cashier called. Everyone in line groaned and scuttled away to find other lines to stand in. Cleon began to walk away, then stepped backwards and grabbed the magazine. He went to the far side of the check out counters and waited patiently at the back of the line.
The carts of the people in front of him were halfway full. He had either caught the place at its rush hour or discovered a very popular supermarket. Figuring he had a couple of minutes to wait, he daydreamed.
Oh, Kalasin, he thought.
"Oh, Cleon," he imagined her saying right back. She winked at him—yes! And she blushed and he presented her with flowers and candy. Then Kalasin kissed him on the cheek and declared what a thoughtful man he was.
Pausing his daydream for a moment, he recalled their adventure with the Immortals in the faux forest. That was the first time he had laid eyes on her, if he remembered correctly. Oh, if things had only occurred differently there! He could have saved her life and earned her undying gratitude.
"Oh, Cleon! Thank you for saving me!" she would have said.
Or at least he hoped she would have said that.
"Hey, buddy. The line's moving."
"Huh?" He blinked. "Oh, I'm sorry, Kally, my love."
Everyone in line turned and stared at him, especially the man who had just addressed him. Cleon stepped forward two spaces, sighing. He eventually opened the magazine and started reading. His eyes widened at a certain printed fact.
"Wow. So that's how many kids they already have. Boarding school fees must be a pain."
~~
Keladry sat on her bed and stared at her closet. The first time this particular nervousness had appeared was when he had first asked her to lunch. She'd sat in the locker room for a while, evaluating the whole situation like a geek.
Don't evaluate, she told herself. Just go with the flow. She stopped that train of thought when she realized that Neal's voice was the one saying it. Maybe she ought to call him and ask for his opinion. Neal was Kel's best friend and he was a guy who dated frequently.
But that made it worse. He was her best friend and a guy. No. Bad decision.
There was only one person she could think of calling under a curtain of secrecy and hope for the best. Kel picked up the phone and dialed as fast as possible. It rang three times before someone picked up.
"Hello?" a sleepy voice asked.
Her jaw dropped. "Lerant? What are you doing at Yuki's?!"
"Oh shit!"
Keladry stood up and listened intently. On the other side of the connection, two people were bickering in furious whispers. Finally, the right person returned to the COMscreen that Keladry knew Yuki had in her apartment. Keladry closed her mouth and gulped. "Yuki?"
"Hey! Kel! Wow, what's up?"
Keladry put the pieces together. "Oh, tell me you didn't."
"Didn't what?" Yuki forced a giggle. It only proved Kel's assumption.
"Nothing. Look, if I just, um… woke the two of you up, then I can call somebody e—"
"Two? Two of who? I'm the only one here. I have no idea what you're talking about," Yuki replied. She had just come back from a trip yesterday. Faleron had told Keladry this when he was hoping to meet Fia, but she was still out of town. Kel felt sort of guilty now. She also knew that Neal was a little interested in Yuki, but that hope would have to be dashed to pieces.
"I'll call Lalasa, it's okay." Lalasa would never let Kel hear the end of it, but she couldn't talk to Yuki now.
The Riders' Own demolitionist scoffed. "Oh, no. You called me and we're going to talk, Mindelan. So what's the problem?"
Keladry sat down on her bed again. "It's um, about this date I have at the carnival."
"And the problem is? What, is he an ex of someone you know?"
"Oh, no."
"Do a lot of girls eye him when you two go out?"
Keladry blinked. She honestly couldn't remember if anyone had ever looked at them when they were at the Alpheus. She frowned. "I don't think so."
Yuki yawned. "Well, you tell me what the problem is. Obviously, I can't guess it."
"I'm really nervous about being a complete dweeb in front of him."
"Aww, Kel. You don't have much dating experience, do you?"
"Try never."
"Oh! So this is your first?"
"No, I had lunch with him before. But that was just lunch. This is a night at a carnival."
Lerant said something in the background. Yuki covered up the microphone and spoke to him. The COMscreen was grabbed from Yuki and the next thing Kel knew, Lerant was unwittingly giving her advice.
"Just relax. Guys don't really care about the stupid things you might end up doing. Trust me, we're more worried about tripping and bumbling around than you are. Act like nothing in the world could bother you. Talk about things you have in common. You'll do fine," he said, yawning.
"Uh, thanks."
"You're welcome." He paused. "Do you know what to wear?"
Kel wrinkled her nose. Is he going to give me fashion advice?
"Go for tight jeans and a sleeveless shirt. I think he might like that on you, whoever he is. I guess you could have a little makeup. I don't think you need it. Are you sure we don't know this guy?"
"I'm sure." Thank the gods.
He yawned again. "Oh, all right. Have fun."
They hung up. Keladry shook her head and put the phone back on her nightstand. Of all the odd conversations to have that week, she thought she'd get one from Cleon but it actually turned out to be from two Riders fooling around. Kel sighed. It was time to get ready.
~~
Liam Irons thrived on punctuality. He was in the outer parking lot to Keladry's housing quarters early. He decided to stay in his car, making last minute checks. Liam turned the rearview mirror so he could check his neatly combed hair and his perfect teeth. He saw grooming as a very important factor in date preparation. He exhaled into his cupped hand.
"Minty fresh. Thought so."
That evening, he'd decided to dress down a bit. He was very at home in business attire, so even wearing an old polo shirt and khakis was a little uncomfortable. It didn't matter. In a few minutes, his mind would be focused on his date, not on his clothes.
"Keladry Mindelan," he said under his breath. She was definitely new. He wondered how many girls like her existed in the world. He wanted to collect them all and keep them to himself. Kel was very interesting when she wasn't making a big effort to impress him.
The young lady was shy. She talked freely with him, of course, but there was this little nagging feeling he received that said she was jittery around him. He'd have to remedy that soon because he wanted to get closer to her. Kel was pretty in a way of her own, even if she didn't think so. And she was strong. She was a DJPF Officer.
"A bonus," he whispered as he finally opened his car door. Liam picked up a small bouquet of flowers that had lain in the passenger seat. A good rule was always to have a small gift for a date, no matter what sort of date it was.
He got out, listened for the beep that would tell him his car was locked, and headed toward the nearest elevator. On the way there, he checked his own pager for any new messages. It wouldn't do to be suddenly interrupted with business that could have been handled beforehand.
No work waiting for him. Perfect.
He leaned against the side of the elevator as it went up. Liam wrinkled his nose in disdain at the musty smell of it. His own abode sported a modern elevator that smelled like a pine air freshener at all times. Liam walked out and rested the flowers against his shoulders like a baseball player might do with a bat.
"'If I ask you… difficult questions,'" he sang. " 'If I make improper suggestions…'" He passed his fingers lightly over his dark hair out of habit. He automatically came to halt in front of her door, smiling confidently at the intercom. " 'Would you find that… a risk to your health?…Would you put me…up on the bookshelf…with the books… and the plants?'"
He pressed down quickly on the intercom and spoke devilishly, "Hello, it's the Big Bad Wolf. Fancy a carnival instead of a dark forest, Miss Riding Hood?" He grinned mischievously and stepped back from the door.
'Desperate… but not serious… Your kisses drive… me delirious,' he sang in his head. The chorus really had nothing to do with him, but he couldn't stop thinking of the tune. The door slid open.
"Liam, it's been too long!" she greeted. Keladry stepped aside, so he could enter. If his intercom greeting had been received with confusion, she didn't show it. (In fact, a delightful shiver had gone up her spine, but she wouldn't let anyone know that. The thought of it being delightfully scary thrilled and embarrassed her.)
He dutifully offered her the flowers. "I hope you like them."
Kel took them into her arms and caressed the soft petals. "Yellow roses?"
They went inside so Kel could put the flowers in some water. While she did this, he walked around the living room with his hands clasped behind him, examining her home. He smiled at her from the sofa, where he finally decided to recline.
"Yellow is for sunshine and sunshine reminds me of you," he said after a few seconds. "Red is awfully trite. I would never give red roses to a woman. It would be an insult to her radiance." He chuckled. "Yellow sunshine is radiant, isn't it? It wakes up the world every single day."
Keladry found a large jar underneath her sink, filled it with water, and set the flowers in there. She supposed she could go out and buy a vase in the morning. Yes, Kel, think about a vase to keep your mind off the extremely smooth lines that just left his mouth. Say something! Kel rejoined him at the sofa. He stood and offered her his arm.
The young woman thought the gesture terribly outdated but very refreshing. She smiled and looped her arm with his.
"I think we'll have a blast at the carnival. A couple of my friends already went there the night before. They had a great time," she said. "There were horses being shown off by their breeders, too. I haven't seen a horse in a long time. They're wonderful."
He led her back into the hall, after she had turned the lights off. Liam looked around them, half-expecting Joren to come flying out a door yelling obscenities and vulgarities. He sneered on the inside. The blonde was an absolutely dreadful waste of space. He didn't even deserve to breathe the same air as him and especially not the same air as his date.
"I have never been on a roller coaster. Have you?" he asked when they were in the elevator.
"No. Never," she replied. Their arms had loosened from each other now.
He smiled. "Then this ought to be a very interesting experience, hmm?"
After a lengthy drive to the edge of the city, they arrived at the peak of carnival attendance. There were lights flashing at all the stands, garish decorations to attract wide-eyed men and women. Keladry never saw so many people before all at one place—people enjoying themselves immensely. Wonderful scents filled the air. Keladry smelled popcorn, corndogs, and candy apples. She watched children run circles around their tired parents.
Liam squeezed her hand. She turned her head toward him. "I didn't think it would be so crowded!"
"The whole city is probably here," he replied with a grin. "Do you want something to eat?"
She glanced around. "Well, I've never had cotton candy… and I've never had one of those huge pretzels before… Oh, wow."
Liam nodded. She didn't realize it, but every little trick Keladry had ever fashioned to keep her emotions from showing was completely forgotten. Her eyes lit up like a child's at all the sights and sounds that the carnival had to offer her. She was practically bursting with happiness.
He bought two large cinnamon pretzels and a big fluff of cotton candy wrapped around a paper cone. They walked around, shoulder against shoulder through the rows of stalls containing trinkets and other crafts for sale.
"Mmm. We should have eaten after we'd been on some rides," he noted.
"We'll wait a while," she replied, unable to stop smiling. She finished her pretzel and bent down to inspect a bracelet on a display table. It was four rows wide of tiny beads of different blue and blue-green colors. The clasp was gold and from it hung a tiny golden sparrow.
Liam noticed her interest. When she stood straight again, he offered her some of the cotton candy and asked, "Do you like it?"
"It's beautiful," she breathed. Keladry didn't know what else to say. She didn't wear jewelry. She didn't own any at all. In fact, Keladry remembered scoffing at her fellow cadets when they ooh'ed and aww'ed at each other's earrings and necklaces. A part of her inside was now secretly pleased that she'd started to act a bit more feminine.
Liam handed her the cotton candy stick and dusted his hands off. His other hand was free of the pretzel now, so he took out his wallet. "How much for it?"
A man with very thick black eyebrows hanging low over his eyes came over and said, "Six nobles, seventy-five coppers."
Her date whistled. "All the little trinkets at these places are overpriced, pal." He counted out the bills and coins. "There you go."
"Would you like a box for that, sir?"
"Um, no. She'll wear it, thank you." He picked up the bracelet and held out his hand for her wrist. Keladry, dumbfounded into silence, held her free arm out for him to fasten it around. She held it up to the light, amazed at the fact that something shimmering was now in her possession.
She had no doubt in her mind that her face was flushed. "I wish you hadn't done that. It was expensive for a bracelet."
Liam put back his wallet in his back pocket and shrugged it off. "Money is just money. I don't spend my own on anything, really, so I have plenty to spare." He tilted his face toward hers. "Do you really like it?"
"I love it, now," she replied. He smiled at the response.
They left the stall, still eating the cotton candy. After this incident, Keladry felt much more comfortable leaning against him as they wandered about. She even permitted him to put his arm around her. A warm, fuzzy feeling formed in her chest and spread to her limbs, all the way down to her toes. She licked the last bit of cotton candy from her fingertips.
"Hmm… I always wondered what carnivals and fairs were like."
"You really haven't been to them, eh? Didn't your parents ever take you to them?" he asked.
Keladry decided to let down her walls and share a part of her past. "Oh, they wanted to. When I was a child," she began, "I was all common sense… no-time-to-play type of girl. My brothers and sisters went. I stayed home and studied like a nerd."
He laughed. "I have a hard time imagining that."
"What about you? You said you've never been to one, either."
"That's true. I was working to make ends meet when I was a boy." He sighed. "Those were tough times. I'm glad they're over. They're over forever."
Keladry sympathized with him. She shyly leaned her head against his shoulder and they continued walking. Liam stopped them in front of a game. He turned to her. "How would you like a humongous stuffed teddy bear?"
Laughter bubbled up from her throat. "Oh, no. It wouldn't even fit in your car."
"Are you sure?" he asked teasingly.
"Don't, really. I'd rather play horseshoes and win some more cotton candy."
He nodded. "Ah, so I've found her weakness. Your "ogre's heel" is made of cotton candy, you say?"
"Oh, sugary things are more like Faleron's diet, not mine. It's a wonder that he doesn't become as hyper as Cleon."
"You must introduce me to them sometime," he told her.
"Are you sure about that?"
"What's the matter? Are you ashamed of me?"
She elbowed him in the side. "I'm more frightened of what they might do!"
They ambled away toward another booth and began playing games. Both tried to toss horseshoes around a metal spike driven into the ground. Keladry laughed at Liam, who made little frustrated noises when he missed. She found to her embarrassment that she also made a little noise when she was lost.
Having successfully wasted more money, but having barrels of fun, they finally felt fit enough for a few rides. They bought tickets for a roller coaster and stood in line. Shouts and screams echoed around from the fast drops and the hard turns of the attraction.
"Are you having a good time?"
She nodded. "Best that I've had in a long time."
He put his arm around her again. "I was hoping you weren't going to say that."
"What?"
He tweaked her nose. "How in the whole world am I going to top this night, then? I'll have to think really hard for the next date, you know that?"
She elbowed him again, which caused him to retaliate with a tickling attack. She fended him off, but not before laughing loudly and gasping for air. When she was done, Keladry found herself in his arms, and his lips gently pressed against hers.
Time stood still.
The warm, fuzzy feeling within her consumed her whole being. She melted into the kiss and surrendered to all her senses. At once, Keladry knew that this was what she wanted. This gentle, dove-soft feeling instead of the rough manipulations of desperate hearts… It was like a thousand stars had transferred their luminescence into her. She felt like she could shoot up in the sky and shine for everyone to see.
When he pulled away, her lips were tingling. He smiled at her and traced her jaw with one finger.
"You're glowing," he whispered into her ear. She was still a little dizzy from the kiss. Joren had made her dizzy once, but she'd been so lost and confused by the end of it that she almost screamed. This sort of dizzy hit just the right spot.
The light, airy sensations she was experiencing were again magnified when they went on the roller coaster. Being flung about so much made her heart beat even faster. Liam let her cling to his arm as they were jostled about, cheering and shouting as they raced along the track. When they finally reached the end, Keladry let go and gave him her biggest smile that whole night.
You better watch out, Liam Irons. I just might fall in love with you.
~~
Joren was going out on the wing and he did not like it one bit.
He leaned against the wall opposite of her door, staring at it like it was a cancerous tumor that needed to be removed from his sight. His hands were burrowed into his jacket pockets. A disapproving expression of scorn formed on his face when he noticed he was wearing the same sort of clothes as he used to wear, back then.
All he would do with his appearance was remind her that he was still Jack. And he didn't want to do that. He wanted to destroy Jack Winston because Jack Winston did nothing but lie out of duty and leave out of necessity.
At least my hair isn't as short as it used to be, he noted uselessly.
He kicked away from the wall and rang the doorbell.
The door slid open partway. Julia looked out. "Oh! Good, just in time. Hold on a second." She closed the door again and undid the automatic security lock. Then the door slid open all the way. She welcomed him in. "Hi, Jack. I'm so glad you finally made it over here."
Five years too late, he thought.
"Please, sit down. I was just setting the table."
Joren stood in front of the couch. "Don't bother. We never ate at a table anyway."
"Are you sure?"
"Yeah," he replied, taking a seat. She didn't say anything after that, so he continued. "What did you have cooking, anyway?"
She smiled and went into the kitchen. "Pasta. My sister gave me the recipe. I think you'll like it."
He nodded, rubbing his hands together nervously. He reached forward and picked up the remote. It certainly felt like old times. Here he was, sitting on the couch watching the news. Julia brought the food to the coffee table. It was a replay of a calm night in Jack Winston's mockery of a household.
He took the warm plate into his lap and lifted up his fork. Joren wondered how good of a cook she had really become. The blond man decided it was time to find out.
"You might want to take off your jacket. It will be too hot," she suggested, setting down drinks on coasters. She retrieved another plate of pasta from the kitchen and finally joined him on the couch.
"Right." He set the plate down on the coffee table and removed his jacket. He slung it over the back of the couch and reached for the plate again.
"So, what are you up to these days?" she asked after taking a bite of her meal.
"I work on motorcycles and hoverbikes," he said after a moment. It was partly true. Being a mechanic was the only thing closest resembling a hobby. But it wasn't his source of livelihood. He couldn't tell her the truth. Julia had spent so long believing in Jack Winston, it would be a crime to tear her world apart.
She smiled. "That figures. You always did have an unhealthy obsession with those things."
"Yeah." He ate some of the pasta. It was a little on the hot side, but he held it between his teeth and finally let his tongue touch it after a few seconds. He really ought to get down to business about saying goodbye forever, but Joren didn't have the nerve to do it while they were eating.
Julia had no problem telling him what she'd been up to during the last five years. She'd lived for a short time with her sister during the pregnancy and half a year afterwards. Then, she obtained a job as a waitress and also as a maid in a hotel. She saved up enough money to rent her own apartment and went on from there.
When they finished dinner, he helped her take the dishes, silverware, and glasses into the kitchen and set them in a tub of water that sat on the left side of the two-part sink.
"I'll wash them later."
"I can help," he offered, partly out of guilt. He was going to be breaking her heart a second time and he didn't know what else to do.
She waved him away. "No, let's talk some more. I like talking with you, Jack. It reminds me of so much."
He nodded. When they had settled themselves comfortably back onto the couch, they resumed their conversation.
"About what we said on the phone," Joren started.
"I know you said that part of your life is over. I heard that very clearly, although you probably think I'm trying to block it out," Julia said while looking down at her lap.
He frowned and averted his gaze. "I meant it, though. I'm not trying to hurt you. You know that. But we… we can't go back to what was."
She nodded quickly, dabbing at the corners of her eyes. "Yeah, I know. I guess I have a lousy time moving on, huh?"
"It's not your fault. I didn't really leave you with much of a closure. Especially since…" he trailed off. They both imagined a little crying baby and a dimly lit hospital. He sighed. "It's not like I don't ever want to talk to you again. I mean—I'll call once in a while. Winter holiday, I suppose."
"To talk about him?"
"Yeah. About him."
Julia got up from the couch and went into another room. She returned with an old, worn photograph in her hands. She handed it to him and sat down again. Joren turned the picture over in his hands. He read a birthday date for a little over four years ago. Then he turned the picture around again and traced his fingertips around the small image.
Something in his chest knotted up. He found it hard to breathe suddenly. "So that's him, huh?"
"Hmm. You can keep the photo. I've stared at it so long that I've memorized every little line." She pointed. "He's got your eyes. That's the first thing I noticed," Julia whispered. "Brilliant blue eyes."
Joren smiled subtly. "I wish Coram could have seen him. I would have made him a godfather."
She frowned. "Do you two still keep in touch?"
He looked up from the photo. He blinked. "Um, no. I haven't heard from him in years. We both had to go our separate ways. Safety reasons."
"You don't do that sort of thing anymore, do you?"
He bowed his head. Killing, you mean? Working for a man who really did seem like some sort of god? Crying out in anguish every single night for the things I forced myself to do for a mission that failed anyway? Joren looked up. Trying to remain as nonchalant as possible, he shook his head and offered a false smile. "No."
The tension in the room was far too thick and heavy. Joren stood up, still looking at the photograph. He started walking around the room. "I've tried looking into some records. I couldn't find anything."
"I've been looking for years," Julia confessed.
"Well then. We'll have something to talk about when I call."
They lapsed into silence, listening to the news report on the holoscreen. Joren's attention perked up when he heard a familiar name. He went to the couch and sat down again, staring intently at the screen.
"… Mr. Yukishiro will be seen at the annual Tusaine carnival, donating money to one of the many foundations hosted at the carnival, the Osbern Foundation. The Osbern Foundation works with orphaned and homeless children in urban areas to give them food, shelter, and clothing. They also make it possible for these children to get an education and opportunities that they would never have had before…"
Was it possible? Joren turned to her. "Did you mean it? When you said that he helped you?"
Julia nodded. "It's true. He gave me money to pay hospital bills, and even when they took my baby away, he paid for a search and he gave me money to live on."
He grasped her shoulder and held her firmly so she stared him straight in the eye. "This is really important. Has he ever done anything to indicate that you must pay him back? Has he ever took advantage of you… or… or anything like that?"
"No, nothing! Jack, I swear, he was the kindest person I'd ever met. I mean it."
Joren stood up and grabbed his jacket. "I'm sorry; we're going to have to cut this short. I need to talk to him."
She also got up and followed him to the door. "I understand." She paused. "Would you please send my thanks to him? He calls or visits during holidays, but that's about it, and I really wish I could repay him for what he's done for me."
The thought of Enishi being so kind to Julia irked Joren. He didn't want to believe it. Enishi had made his life a living hell and now he pulled this nice benefactor act in front of his ex-lover? It was one thing to pull of the act in front of the city. He could care less of the fools in Tusaine who decided to believe him. But fooling the mother of his child was simply too much.
It's like he wants to be apart of the family that doesn't exist. That bastard. How dare he, Joren thought bitterly. You and I are going to have a long talk, Enishi. Don't think for one second that I'm going to go easy on you just because years have passed. I'm still just as deadly.
The trip to the carnival grounds took less time than he anticipated. Perhaps that was because he was going twice the posted speed limit. He took all the back roads he knew to avoid traffic and hoped no one would pick up the tracers in his bike that allowed the DJPF to monitor his bike's speed. When they noticed any DJPF motorist speeding, they often checked to see if they were in pursuit of someone.
Pursuit of a conniving asshole is a good reason. They could let me get away with it this one time.
He reached the carnival parking grounds and hid his bike behind an old tree. If any of Enishi's lackeys were around, there was no sense in letting them know he was here. Five years may have gone by, but he wouldn't doubt it if someone could ID his bike. He'd done a good job so far of avoiding Enishi's territory in Tusaine.
"No more avoiding," he said aloud as he strode into the carnival.
"I need money for admittance," the man at the gate said.
Joren flashed him his DJPF pager ID. The man grumbled and backed off. According to general rule, Joren would have only been allowed access if he was in uniform and in a real investigation. He doubted that the gateman would remember to report him anyway.
"Where's the Osbern Foundation tent?" he asked a vendor standing in the dirt pathways. He received directions and stalked away without saying thanks.
What he would say when he finally saw the white-haired man again remained a mystery. Joren couldn't accept those supposedly 'hospitable' actions as genuine. There was something behind it and he wanted to know. He may not love Julia, but he wouldn't let her suffer for his mistakes.
The Osbern tent was large. The white and blue stripes common to its logo made it stand out from the surrounding bright orange and yellow lights and ribbons of other carnival decorations. Joren had to weave around a long line of men, women, and children waiting for the Ferris wheel.
A familiar figure sat on a metal fold out chair, just at the entrance of the tent. Three other men, one of whom had dyed green hair and pierced eyebrows, flanked him. They saw him at the same time that he saw them. The man with the green hair immediately walked away, blending in with the moving crowds.
Joren approached, his fists clenched by his sides. The remaining two cronies standing by Enishi's side leaned down to listen to their master's commands. They reluctantly backed away, but kept within close distance. Joren scowled at them and stopped in front of his former 'boss'.
"Did you come all the way out here for me, Joren? You must have. I don't picture you as the carnival type," Enishi chuckled. He gestured for him to sit down in the chair beside him.
Joren did so, but leaned away. "I've come from Julia's."
The other man grinned. "Really? Are you two getting back together?"
"No," Joren snorted. "That's not the point! How dare you think you can waltz in there and make yourself an established presence in her life! I don't want you there!"
Enishi narrowed his eyes. "It's not your decision, Joren. She allowed me into her life. And I, for one, consider her like a daughter."
"Stop it! Just stop it! I don't care how you consider her, just leave her alone!" He wanted so badly to strangle Enishi, but his hands were clenched in his lap. The fact that Enishi was still sitting beside him as calm and docile as a Hindu cow wasn't helping. Once again, the white-haired man had become spiritually and physically untouchable. And Joren could tell that Enishi knew this little fact.
A sigh escaped the older man's lips. "I'm not really as bad as you think. I do what I do to test you. And I regard the rest with hatred."
Joren leaned back in his chair, swallowing though his throat was dry. "Then why don't you just stop?"
"Every one of my followers would be at the throat of their fallen god in a second. I can't stop yet. I'd like to retire, but I need to do a few more things before I crush their faith in me," he replied in a quieter voice so his two bodyguards wouldn't hear.
The intimidating figure that Joren remembered from days of old was slowly shrinking into a more familiar form—a human and mortal form. Joren didn't know what to say. Enishi had lowered himself from his cloud to talk to him, and Joren didn't know whether to feel honored or resentful.
"Did you mean to take care of my son and raise him in your world? Take him for your heir because I got away?" he asked in a nearly inaudible whisper.
Enishi shook his head. To Joren's surprise, there was a hint of fondness in his gaze. "Yes and no. I would have raised him, but I wouldn't have let him within a mile of a gun if I could help it."
Joren nodded. He stood up. Things were getting a bit too complicated for his tastes. "I'll see you another day."
"Ah. Hoping by then you'll work up the courage to kill me?"
The blond man turned around and glared. "Yes. I dare you to do something about it."
"Of course I will. I'll prepare your old room is what I'll do, because you're closer to me now. Closer than you ever were back then and you know it," Enishi smiled. He waved to him. "Tell Julia that I'm coming to visit for Thanksgiving. She cooks excellently, did you notice?"
Joren spat at the ground, turned heel, and stalked away.
A torrent of confused and furious thoughts swirled around in his head. The carnival could have been a circus, or a marathon. His mind wouldn't have noticed the difference. Joren hadn't walked far before he had bumped into the last person he wanted to see that night. He stepped back when his shoulder struck the shoulder of an oncoming walker. Keladry also stepped back, still arm in arm with her date.
"Oh, no. What are you doing here?" she asked, suddenly very anxious about the prospect of having Joren yell at Liam, who likewise shared her attitude.
"I had business," he replied, taking his defensive stance.
The three stood there at the junction between the Ferris wheel and the Go-karts, none speaking, when a shrill beeping noise filled the air. Liam cursed to himself and checked his pager. He stared at it, stifled another unbecoming cry of frustration, and turned to Keladry with apologetic eyes.
"I've got to run. A friend in need, you see."
"I understand," Kel nodded. She knew the loyalty and the responsibility that was included with friends. "Do you have to go right now?"
He nodded. "It looks like it. I'm sorry."
"It's okay!"
Liam turned to Joren. He stared at him judgingly. Finding him worthy, Liam spoke his mind. "I know we didn't get off to the best of starts, but will you do me a favor and take her home?"
Joren stared at him, recalling all the taunting meanings behind the sentences Liam had spoken to him on previous occasions, which included mysterious allusions to jackals and stones. Joren didn't like it one bit. He didn't like Liam at all, and he hated him all the more for appearing absolutely harmless in front of his partner.
"Yeah," he said. But I won't do it for you.
"I'm glad I can count on you, Stone." Liam kissed Kel lightly on the cheek. She blushed and looked shyly down at the ground, smiling. While she did so, Liam winked deviously at Joren and shared a wolfish grin with him before sauntering away.
Joren muttered a curse and went over to a bench to sit. Keladry frowned and followed him. She rubbed her arms in the absence of the warmth Liam had provided. She saw Lerant's purpose for sleeveless shirts now. Turning her attention back to her tempestuous partner, she sat down beside him and resumed her normal position of argument.
"What the hell is your problem? I don't understand why you can't just get along with him."
"You would never understand. You're too busy being Miss Goo-Goo Eyes."
"That's my business, not yours," she warned.
"The same about my problem with your boyfriend. Okay?"
"Oh, fine." She looked up at the Ferris wheel they were sitting in front of. A small line of people had already started. She wrung her hands around the corner of her own shirt. "Let's go up! I have some tickets left." Before he could refuse, she continued speaking. "I've never been on one and I swear I won't leave until I've done so."
He glared her, but rolled his eyes in resignation. They got up and stood in line. Five minutes later, they were seated. The bar was extended across their laps, and they rose slowly into the air in the same circular pattern everyone else was in.
Keladry gazed over the whole carnival, relishing in the view. She would never forget the night she'd had with Liam. He was so sweet and funny. He was everything she needed at that point in her life.
She faced her partner again. "So what did you do tonight?"
Joren was also coincidentally looking down below at the bright colored sights. He shrugged. "Dinner at Julia's."
"Oh." A pause. "Is she the…"
"Yeah. She is." He turned his face toward her and scratched his nose. "It's over, though. I just dropped in to be polite."
Her hand balled up into a fist without her notice. "So, what? You're only polite to women you've slept with?"
He glared daggers at her and retorted, "It's different with you and everyone else."
"No, it isn't! That's what I've been trying to show you for a whole year now."
"This ride is too damn long," he muttered. Joren reached into this jacket pocket and extracted a small photograph. He laid his fingers over the image longingly.
Keladry frowned. She leaned over carefully. "Is that him?"
"Yeah."
She offered him a friendly comment. "He looks like you."
"I know. That's the part that gets me," he rasped. Joren didn't know what the whole deal was. He'd never been happier at the thought of having a child, but he'd never felt the urge to weep so much at the thought of having lost him before Joren could even know him. He didn't want to care this much. Joren's body was used to blocking all these caring emotions out and it was a large strain on him to suddenly feel it.
To his chagrin, Keladry recognized his discomfort and laid her head against his shoulder, taking the picture from him and putting it in his pocket again. A part of her still resented him for playing with her feelings, but an even larger part was full of pity and sympathy.
"Are you happy, Mindelan?"
"Why should I be?"
He rolled his eyes. "I finally have a resemblance of a heart, but instead of teaching me love and happiness, all it's teaching me is grief and remorse."
She lifted her head and leaned her forehead against his. "It'll get better. Just let people help you. I promise, it'll get better."
"It's not that easy! I can't just… let more people bumble into my life. You see what happens when people get close to me. They die. They're almost burned to death. They're kidnapped from their cribs."
"We'll take it one step at a time."
"I'm not promising anything. Tomorrow morning, I might curse you out anyway, regardless of tonight."
She paused. "I won't mind."
It was at that moment that Joren decided he would never understand her.
When they had rounded back to the top again, Keladry frowned. She pointed to the Osbern tent. "I've seen that man before…that guy with the white hair. Some sort of East Yamani name, I think."
Joren breathed in sharply. He turned his eyes downwards at hers. "Are you serious?"
"Yeah. Believe it or not, I bumped into him on some dark street corner." She paused. "That was the night you let me borrow your jacket."
Joren gritted his teeth and glared at the figure under the Osbern Foundation tent. Without disturbing her, he moved his arm around his partner and held it there protectively. Although he couldn't see Enishi, he could still picture the odd man laughing like the devil.
"You can't stop me from meeting your women, Joren. You can't protect your women. They trust me freely, so why don't you?" Enishi's disembodied voice echoed in Joren's mind.
Stay away from them, Joren thought silently at him. You've given me one more reason to kill you, Enishi Yukishiro.
"Your bitterness will do the opposite, my young Anubis. It will kill you."
Joren shivered.
~~
Liam leaned against his car door with his arms folded across his chest. Moths fluttered around lights and he watched them while waiting. In time, a man exited the gate and joined him in the parking lot. His green hair shone in the lamplight.
"Hey, Maocorm," Liam greeted.
"Mr. Y wants you to stay out of the blondie's way."
"Too late for that," he retorted bitterly. He nodded. "All right. What else?"
"Be careful dealing with the girl."
"That was a given."
A few seconds passed. The other man kicked the dirt. "I don't like this. Messing with DJPF officers like this… It's too risky."
Liam laughed loudly and cooed. "Aww, don't you worry that pretty little head of yours, Baby Face." He always called Maocorm that, ironically, because of the pierced eyebrows and the facial scars. "It's all under control. Lend me a smoke, would you?"
"Make sure she doesn't smell it on your breath, man. Good girls like her don't like smokers. It's unhealthy." He snickered and reached into his jacket pocket.
A lighter was offered and soon, smoke was wafting up into the black sky. Liam exhaled. "Mmm… You know, I'm really getting into this 'dating' thing." He grinned and licked his lips. "She's a real winner. A man would have to be blessed by gods to get a girl like her. I'm certainly enjoying myself."
"I still don't like it."
"You don't like anything."
"And for a damned good reason."
Liam finished his cigarette and ground the butt into the dirt with his heel. He opened his car door. "I'll go hide my car and then we'll go sneak around the back to see the horses and the Shang fighters. Does that sound good to you?"
"Who wants to look at stupid horses?"
"I do, and if you don't, then too bad. Watch your toes, Baby Face. I just might decide to run my tires over them. Who knows what else I might run over?" He got in. His laid back attitude disappeared, replaced with the cold, emotionless expression of a hardened killer. He winked at the green haired man before closing the door.
Maocorm watched him pull out of the parking space and drive away. He started toward the back of the carnival, rubbing his arms as if a chill had descended upon him.
"That guy fucking scares me." He looked up at the stars. "Goddess keep whoever gets in his way."
~~
Author's note: Duh, duh, DUH! And we have another little tasty episode filled to the brim with Cleon's antics, Kel's insecurity, and Joren's angst. You've seen a good portion of Kel and Joren's inner thoughts, so now it's time to get back to one of our favorite characters!
The next episode is one a sheer hilarity. That's right, coming to you from the exciting Express Lane of life is Cleon Kennan! – whose dating misfortunes you'll witness in our next episode, "Cupid, Take a Hike!"
I hope you've enjoyed reading ICBW as much as I have writing it… er, typing it. Please tell me what you think, via review or e-mail! All comments and constructive criticisms are welcome.
*note. The song that Liam belts out on his way to Kel's place is "Desperate, But Not Serious" by Adam Ant. Think of 80's, maybe early 90's British pop/rock. It's a guilty pleasure for me, okay? Even if I was far too young during the time. I recommend the song, though! Trying to imagine a young version of Pierce Brosnan (the current James Bond) singing this wonderful blast from the past is very amusing, and a little sexy. :D
-Sulia Serafine © 2002