Last short story of the series. It happens after the conversation between Cho and Saitoh at the police station in tome 28.
Saitoh's secret gardens
Story 4 : A new era
Tokyo, October 1879 (Meiji 11)
Saitoh was sitting on the terrace of his house, contemplating the beautiful traditional garden in the glooming moonlight. He lit a new cigarette. He was thinking about Battosai...no, about Himura Kenshin, and he couldn't get himself back into the house. He didn't move when one of the windows slowly slid. He had recognized the discreet and graceful moves of his wife. As the paces grew closer, his jaw tightened.
He had this habit, whenever he was home, to smoke on the terrace at night. The atmosphere calmed him down as much as the tobacco. Usually, Tokio joined him and they had long chats, making up for the time they were spending apart. When he was thinking of his job, she understood instinctively if he needed to be alone or wanted her opinion. Tokio was smart and her very personal way of thinking had often pointed in a direction he had neglected.
Still, today, although it was obvious that he wanted to be left with his own thoughts, there she sat next to him...holding an ashtray. He arched a brow.
" I think this one is already full," she said in her calm and melodious voice, pointing at the pile of butts that was threatening to fall.
"Aa."
"Thank you would be more appropriate," she asserted.
He stared at her beautiful, serene face, as usual caught off guard, as usual surprised to be. Tokio was one of the rare persons not to be afraid of him. He couldn't repress a half-smile: he saw forces of nature turn white-faced at the idea of offending him, but this graceful young woman had behaved with him totally carelessly from the day they met on, not giving a second thought to his possible (violent) reactions. An eternally bemused glint in her gray eyes and the hint of a smile curving her lips, she seemed to find everything he was doing highly entertaining.
"It's late," he said coldly, crushing his stick and lighting another. "You should go to rest, you must be tired with the baby."
Her lips lifted slowly in a soft and confident smile; that smile that made anybody surrender to her will. He was certain that if one morning, she asked the sun not to rise with that expression, it would comply. After all, Saitoh himself had the greatest difficulties to resist it.
"Tsuyoshi will get hungry in about one hour..No way I can sleep now."
Tsuyoshi..Their second son, born 3 months before, as Saitoh was trying to get out of Mount Hiei alive. He felt a wave of culpability submersing him. He had waited for 3 weeks to go home, the time it took for his most serious wounds to heal a bit. It was quite stupid, as Tokio had seen him in far worse conditions during the Bakumatsu. So, he had been surprised that she threw herself in is arms when he finally came back. It was not their style. She was pale, thin, holding on to him as her life was depending on it. She didn't cry, yet she was so in need of comfort that he even thought for a while that she had lost the baby. She had retrieved her usual self in no time, and answered vaguely to his questions. All he could get from her was that the childbirth had been hard.
Hard, she had said? Not only she had almost died, but also the news of his death had come to her through her Kyoto connections. He didn't know if he should slap himself for his moronic decision, her "friends" for telling her, or Tokio herself for having contact with them when he forbade it. He remembered the waves of acidity rolling in his stomach when Eiji had told him the truth. The kid was worshipping Tokio, making clear what he thought of Saitoh's attitude. He was already calling her "Mother" respectfully. Saitoh didn't mind, as Hatsue hinted to him that Eiji had been a great help to his wife. Tokio had decided to keep him with them.
"He has a good heart and some temper, he will be a good brother for our sons," she had told him the night of his arrival, as they were sitting side by side in the garden, under the willows. "That's why you brought him here in the first place, anyway," she had added before bursting into a clear laughter. He had grumped.
"Hajime.Before you go again, I would like us to name the baby," she had asked softly.
"Aa. In fact, I thought about something today. He will be Tsuyoshi.
She arched a mocking brow. "Here we go. The kanji meaning strong, right? You need another son to be celebrating your virtues?"
He had exhaled the smoke of his cigarette and countered negligently: " I want to name him Tsuyoshi because I hope he'll have your strength."
She had gazed at him for one good minute, dumbfounded. As she had pointed to him once, he was not really talkative regarding what he thought of her. She was not stupid: she didn't need to be told and could figure it by herself. Yet seeing his mischievous wife get a bit of her own medicine had been satisfying enough for him not to regret his compliment. She had then smiled, snuggled against him, and whispered: "Miburo, I have to warn you. As you're getting older you're getting too sentimental.."
He came back to present when she took his completely consumed cigarette out of his fingers to depose it in the ashtray. Their eyes met.
"You came back very late today. I thought that the Yukishiro case was over."
His lips lifted in an ironic grin. "Sometimes I think that you'd be a better cop than me."
She rolled her eyes. "Still you try to hide what's on your mind."
He seized the reproach under her mild tone. Tokio never expected him to behave like an ordinary husband. She was never complaining about his absences, or about his devotion to his duty that he knew some people regarded as obsessive. Not only she accepted, she also understood what he was. She expected only his trust and his respect. His recent behavior was denying that to her. It was something that he didn't like to do, yet he had to make amends this time. He owned that to her.
"Each time I try to protect you, it's a disaster," he stated.
She stiffened, offended. He held his hand to her. "I don't want you to worry about my wounds and you are told I'm dead. Now I don't want to bother you since you are still weak, and I insult you."
She glanced at his hand, then intently at him. "Hajime, do you remember the promise I made you when we got married? I'll never be a weakness, but an ally. Did I fail you?" She didn't manage to hide the hint of a worry in her voice.
"Not once," he answered simply, his piercing eyes into hers.
She put her hand in his. "Apologies" accepted. Without releasing her eyes, he laid a kiss on the inner side of her wrist. Like the first time he had kissed her. As she shivered, he attracted her onto his lap. She wounded her arms around his neck, caressing his nape, while he untied her hair, burying his hands in it, tugging lightly so she would bend and allow him to kiss her. He took all his time, exploring her soft lips, then her mouth, deeply, possessively. He didn't touch her albeit her hair, constraining himself to go slow, enjoying her moaning, pressing herself to him, asking for more. He let his mouth trail on her neck, teasing her most sensitive spot with the tip of his tongue. He knew how much she liked that, and smirked against her skin as she jerked her head back and murmured his name, her voice clouded with desire. "I'm going to make it up to you.."he promised, as he finally shifted his hands to open her kimono.
Two hours later, they were lying on their futon, Tsuyoshi in her arms.
"He's sleeping now. I'm going to put him back to bed," she whispered.
"I'm doing it."
She experienced, as each time she lost physical contact with her husband, a fugitive feeling of emptiness. She couldn't help to smile as she saw him carrying cautiously their son, his straight face so at odds with his delicate moves. She bet that no one, knowing Hajime, could imagine him doing that (people were surprised enough to learn that he was married). It was her pride: she was the only one he showed all the faces of his personality. And she loved them all. She admired the fierce and ruthless samurai, respected the integrity of the policeman, and trusted him as her husband.
When he sat behind her and took her in his arms, she felt complete again. He kissed her shoulder. He felt the same, she thought, sighing. She had been so afraid to loose their connection lately. The only time he had tried to refuse it, in 14 years, was during the months he had studied the offer of the government..she was expecting Tsutomu at that time..She suddenly understood, and, relieved, shook her head in disbelief at the only explanation of his odd behavior she could come out with. Putting one hand on his jaw, she pulled his face closer to her and turned so she could gaze into his amber, narrowed eyes, unable to stop smiling, enjoying his amazement.
"I know I'm taking weight when I'm pregnant, but do I look that helpless? Do you think my brain gets smaller as my belly is getting bigger?"
He narrowed his eyes even more. Obviously, his behavior had been unconscious. He gave her an annoyed glance. " Do you try to say that I behaved like a moron?"
"I'm not trying." She smiled, and kissed lightly his lips. "Don't worry, I'm sure that you'll improve next time."
"There will be no next time," he warned icily.
"Oops! Too bad you didn't think about it earlier.." she mused, her smile widening as he cursed. "It would be nice, as I changed my mind."
"About?"
"Having a daughter. You know that I love our sons. I'm not much of a fighter. However, I'll kill without blinking anyone who'd try to hurt them." She noticed with satisfaction the golden flames beginning to burn in his eyes. They had different tempers, but when it came to protect what was dear to them, they were equally ruthless.
"Nevertheless," she continued, trying to ignore his hands stroking her arms, " their education is going to be quite challenging. So I want a daughter..."
"So she could have your sweet temper?" he mocked. "Your parents were not really happy with it, if I remember correctly."
She turned fully to him. "What is that suppose to mean?"
"Oh, nothing. I just never realized before that you were a model of obedience or modesty," he answered, as he pulled her to him, eyes glittering.
" I just happen to have a developed sense of initiative. I thought that you liked it.." she pointed sweetly.
"I don't like when you use that tone. It's always bad news for my nerves. What do you have in mind this time? "
She smiled, mischievously. "Something that may be bad news for your nerves at first, but I'm quite sure that you'll like it too..."
Dawn came. Neither of them was sleeping. Lying in Saitoh's arms, Tokio was playing idly with his hands, while he told her at last what had been bothering him.
"...That's why I didn't go." He let out a bitter laugh. "You know I'm not particularly fond of being wrong."
She laid a kiss on the palm of his hand. "There's a mistake, but not where you think."
"In what sense?"
"He has never been a hitokiri. Himura had some ideals but was so young and immature that he found himself walking on a way that didn't fit his personality. You, on the other hand, were already adult and really chose. Sometimes I even wonder if Aku-Soku-Zan has not been created just for you."
"What's the point with me?"
She kissed the palm of his other hand. "You always thought that you and Himura were, deep inside, the same. So what you really wonder is whether you are going to wake up one day and, like him, change your mind." He didn't answer. At least he didn't deny it, she thought. "But it's never going to happen."
"So, why did he change? "
"He fell in love."
"Tokio," he groaned, exasperated. Who was getting sentimental already?
She explained patiently: " I'm not talking on a romantic point of view. According to what you told me, neither of the two women he has loved accepted Battosai in him, isn't that striking? I think Battosai has never existed, that he created it so he could bear with the killings. These women made him realize that he was not that. Loosing his wife gave him the resolution to change, then thinking he had lost the Tanu..Kamiya girl made him finally find his way out. You have been the lucky one, you made the good choices from the beginning.."she added teasingly.
"Modesty is really not in your temper, my wife." He paused a while. "So I guess that you will have to bear with a ruthless, cold, cynical, psychopath cop..Do I recall all my titles?..for the rest of your life."
"If you change I'll leave you."
He tightened his hold on her. "Try me."
She laughed, still her tone was serious again when she asked: "Now the Bakumatsu is really over for everybody. A new era begins.so?"
At the sound of his voice, she guessed his very confident smirk as he concluded: "We should manage to make something out of it."
Tokio closed her lids. She was so happy. She had been afraid to loose him, then their link. And now she felt unique, because this man had chosen her, and only her, to rely on. She let out in a whisper a few words that she had never said before.
Saitoh was sure of himself again. The hell with Himura's choices and everything else! He had his beliefs, and he had his wife. As Tokio murmured to him three little words, he couldn't help to smile like a moron. Thank God nobody witnessed him.
End Story 4
End of Saitoh's Secret Gardens.
Author's notes:
Otsukare-sama!
This story is in fact the first I wrote, and I developed the others afterwards.
I'm afraid it's clear enough in the fic: I don't make Saitoh questioning Aku-Soku-Zan (so don't kill me!). I don't think that Saitoh would give up on it even if you proved it by a+b that it was a total mistake (and he would send you do your math in Hell with Shishio). But he's clearly upset with Kenshin's "answer", and the fact that he could change, at the end of the manga. It's the only time when Saitoh doesn't seem 200 sure of himself and I thought his wife had to do something about it.
I ended the story here because I didn't want it to become too repetitive or wayyyyyyy too WAFF (I really hesitated on the last two paragraphs of this story already).
See you!
Kamorgana