Bakura: Master Party Planner from the Stars and Beyond!
A Yu-Gi-Oh Fanfiction by SpookyChild
Author's Notes:
Okay, I admit it; I didn't have anything planned for this chapter. Turned out nicely though, didn't it? Wait, I can't ask you, you haven't read it yet. Oh well, another confession; I don't have anything planned out for the next chapter, either! So it might take a while to get that one posted, but never fear, for I do have something planned for the fourth chapter, and also a short ending chapter about the day after the party. So, please, keep behaving like the sweet little minions you have been and before you know it, I'll have this story done and posted in an eternity of weekends.
---
"When you smile, I melt inside /
I'm not worthy for a minute of your time /
I really wish it was only me and you /
I'm jealous of everybody in the room." –Blink 182
"Am I strung out, crazy or not allowed /
To be the who gets stupid over you." –Blink 182
---
Chapter Two: " The Hunter and The Hunted."
Day Two: Wednesday: 10: 06 A.M.
Ryou opened his eyes groggily and yawned. He rolled over to face his Yami, who was curled up next to him, still asleep. Ryou smiled.
Awww, I should just apologize and end this. Ryou thought to himself. He reached over and lightly shook Bakura.
"Yami, wake up…" Bakura stirred slightly and opened his eyes, smiling faintly.
" 'Morning, Hikari."
Ryou smiled. "Good morning, Yami. I have something to tell you-," A thought came to Ryou. "Hey, Yami? You would never leave me, would you?"
Bakura gave Ryou his 'don't-be-stupid' smile.
"Don't be stupid, Aibou. I will never leave you alone."
Ryou beamed, happier than he had ever been before.
He said it! He practically said it! I should never have doubted him, even for a second! I'm so happy, I could just…I could just kiss him! Ryou blushed at the thought that just crossed his mind. He wouldn't mind…would he? Ryou leaned over to kiss his Yami. The door to the room opened and Ryou's dad walked in.
"Hey, Crazy Egyptian Spirit, that Soul-Shattering Pharaoh has been downstairs for almost ten minutes waiting for you!" Ryou's dad exclaimed. Bakura jumped out of bed and dashed out into the hallway, still in his night clothes. Ryou, who was still leaning, almost fell off the bed.
"See you, Aibou, I'm leaving!" He called back to Ryou. Ryou growled angrily, gripping his pillow so hard that he ripped it. His dad blinked and left quickly.
"Kiss him?! Hell, I'm going to KILL him!" Ryou screamed. Bakura suddenly rushed back into the room.
"Hey, Aibou, can I have some money?" He asked. Ryou smiled sweetly.
"Sure, Yami," Ryou said in his sweet-as-sugar voice. He picked up his wallet from the table and hurled it at Bakura. Bakura quickly ducked out the door, the wallet landing harmlessly at the floor. Bakura stuck his head back in the room.
"Ha! You missed me!" Bakura called to Ryou, and immediately got smacked in the face with a pillow. Bakura walked down the stairs, rubbing the side of his head. He entered the living room to see Yami sitting on the couch. Yami stood up, looking Bakura up and down.
"Are you going to get dressed, or what?" Yami asked impatiently. Bakura almost forgot he was wearing his night clothes, which consisted of a white shirt with a teddy bear on it saying, "I Wuv You!", baggy plaid pants, and big, fluffy bunny slippers. He shrugged.
"Hey, it's clothes. Besides, I'm not going back in there again."
Yami shook his head. "At least put on some shoes."
"And get rid of Mr. and Mrs. Loveykins? I don't think so." Bakura replied, referring to his slippers. Yami shook his head again and took off his jacket.
"Here, put this on, at least. I can't believe you're going out in public like that."
Ryou appeared at the top of the stairs, looking over the banister to see Yami offering his jacket to Bakura. He gripped the banister.
"Fine! Go off with him! See if I care, you…you…" Ryou thought for the right words to say. "YOU TWO-TIMING MAN-WHORE!" He screamed, and ran back up the stairs.
Bakura raised his eyebrow.
"You think he's mad at me? I'm guessing its teenage hormones all the talk-show hosts are talking about." Bakura said.
"I'm glad my little Hikari is a late bloomer. I haven't had to deal with those yet."
"Yeah, he's so short."
"Hey, it isn't the size that counts; it's what you do with it." Yami replied. Bakura raised his eyebrow again.
"…Let's just get out of here." Bakura grabbed Yami's arm and led him out the door. "By the way, what's a two-timing man-whore?"
Yami shrugged. "I don't know. I'm not hip with this generations word, yo."
"…Whatever, home-boy."
***
Ryou watched the two Yami's drive off. He threw the curtains together angrily and jumped on his bed, pulling Bakura's pillow closer to him and hugging it to his chest.
"Now, what can those two be up to?" he mumbled to himself.
Why do you care? A voice in his head asked. Ryou rolled over and stared up at the ceiling.
"I don't. It's just…"
You're jealous.
"Yes! Wait, no! I didn't say that!" Ryou shrieked defensively.
Of course you did. Who do you think I am?
"I'm not jealous; I just want to know what those two are doing together."
I don't know, probably doing a little dance…
Ryou raised his eyebrow.
…making a little love…
Ryou's eyes widened.
…basically getting down tonight.
"No way would my Yami do that!" Ryou shrieked.
Maybe he doesn't want some idiot, immature little child.
Ryou raised his eyebrow again. "Why am I degrading myself? Just whom in my head am I speaking to?"
…gotta go.
Ryou shook his head firmly and picked up the phone, quickly dialing a number. A voice answered.
"Hello?"
"Malik! Would you consider doing me a little favor?"
***
"Man, I wonder why Ryou wants me to follow Bakura and Yami?" Malik mumbled to himself. He shrugged. Why should he care? He was getting twenty bucks out of it. He paused at the couch, and decided to flip once more through the channels, just to make sure nothing good was on.
"…and now you just glue the toothpicks together, and Voila! A homemade soccer ball!"
Malik's eyes widened. He couldn't leave now! 'Martha Stuart Living' was on, and it was his favorite episode! He quickly called to his Yami, who was in the kitchen making what he called a 'Super Parmesan Chicken Vinaigrette Italian Sub', which looked oddly like a ham and cheese sandwich to Malik, but Yami Malik was sticking to his story. He stuck his head into the living room, half of his sandwich in his mouth.
"Yami, can you do me a favor?" Malik asked without tearing his eyes away from the screen. Y. Malik sighed.
"Fine, you go get the grass skirt, I'll get the hula music."
"What? No, not that! It's something different." Malik explained.
"Damn…" Y. Malik pouted. Malik raised his eyebrow and shook his head.
"Okay, Yami, listen to me closely. Closely. Are you listening? Look at me. No, not at your shoes, look at me. Me. Okay, are you listening? Look at me. Yami, pay attention. Okay? Okay. Now, I want you", Malik pointed at Y. Malik's chest, "To spy on the- are you listening? –the Thief and the Pharaoh. Did you pay attention to that?"
Y. Malik looked up from making his sandwich walk across the table.
"What?"
Malik grabbed Y. Malik's face and made him look into his eyes. "I want you to spy on the Thief and the Pharaoh. Did you get that?"
"Fly the Thief and the Pharaoh?" Y. Malik asked, confused.
Malik shook his head. "No, spy."
"Spy?"
"Yes." Malik answered.
"Now, whom am I spying on?" Y. Malik asked.
"The Thief and the Pharaoh." Malik stated slowly. He waited until the knowledge slowly registered in his Yami's head. Finally, Y. Malik slowly nodded his head.
"Okay, so what's in it for me?" Y. Malik asked.
"Ten dollars?" Malik suggested. Y. Malik simply looked at him blankly. It was like water trying to leak into concrete! Malik sighed.
"I'll get one of those big jars of mayonnaise I know you like to argue with."
Y. Malik flared up with anger.
"I swear, what's with those big jars of mayonnaise?! Who's going to eat all of that mayonnaise?!" Y. Malik calmed down. "Deal."
Malik smiled. "Thanks Yami."
"Okay, so where are they?"
Malik thought this over. "You know, Ryou never really said. Umm, I guess you'll just have to…follow their scent."
Y. Malik shrugged and left out the door. Malik closed it behind him, watching his Yami as he walked down the driveway.
"Aww, I'm so proud of my Yami! He gets smarter every day!" Malik exclaimed, wiping a tear from his eye.
***
Wednesday: 11:52 A.M.
"Hey, Pharaoh, cough up a quarter."
Yami turned away from the entrance to face Bakura, who was staring intently at the mechanical pony in front of the Party Store. He shook his head.
"Let's wait until we leave."
"Damn it, I want to ride the pony!" Bakura cried angrily.
"Listen, do you want your Hikari to like you again, or would you rather ride that damn pony?!" Yami asked angrily. Bakura stood thoughtful, turning this information over in his head. After ten minutes of Bakura's 'thinking', Yami grabbed his hand angrily and dragged him into the store.
"Uh, Pharaoh?" Bakura asked, looking around confused.
"Yes?"
"Just what kind of things do you buy for a party?"
Yami thought for a moment. "Um, party…stuff? Hold on, I'll ask." He turned and walked away. Bakura shrugged and wandered into the costume department. Yami strode over to a teenage girl wearing a uniform, which signaled that she worked there.
"Uh, hey you." Yami said. The girl turned around.
"Yami!" Anzu squealed. Yami cringed.
"Oh, you work here?" he asked.
(What are you doing here?)
"Yeah, isn't it a coincidence?" she replied happily.
(I'm stalking you.)
"Yeah, what a coincidence."
(She's stalking me.)
"Isn't it?"
(Sure am.)
Yami rubbed the back of his neck, so Anzu continued.
"So, what are you here for?" she asked.
(Did you come to see me?)
"I came to get some party supplies." Yami answered.
(Hell no.)
***
Wednesday: 12:05 P.M.
"Feh, you're not the Pharaoh." Y. Malik stated. The woman pulled her arm away from him.
"Stop smelling me, you pervert!" She cried, whacking him on the side of his head with her purse. He glared up at her, his third eye glowing as he pulled out the Millennium Rod.
"YOU DARE TO STRIKE-Oooh, a penny!" Y. Malik squealed at he trotted over to pick it up. He looked up suddenly, sniffing the air.
"I smell the Pharaoh!" He cried, and dashed in the direction of the Party Store.
***
Yami shuddered.
"What's the matter, Yami?" Anzu asked.
"It felt like someone just walked over my grave." He exclaimed. Anzu decided it was her job to 'console' him.
"Aww, it's okay." She soothed, and started to rub his back. Yami narrowed his eyes.
"Please refrain from touching me. Thank you." He growled. Anzu quickly pulled her hand away.
Out of nowhere, Bakura came up behind Yami and slipped his arms around his waist. Yami's eyes bulged out of his head. "Eeep!"
Anzu growled at Bakura.
"What the hell do you think you're doing?" Yami whispered frantically.
"Saving your ass. Now play along!" Bakura whispered back. Bakura thought for a moment, and then whispered something in Yami's ear that made the Pharaoh blush. Bakura stopped abruptly and faced Anzu.
"Do you mind?" He waved her away. She growled, spun around and stalked away.
"Don't say stuff like that to me!" Yami shrieked. Bakura smirked.
"Oh shut up, you know you like it."
"I'm not your Hikari! Stop messing with my head!"
Bakura smiled evilly. "That's not the only thing I'm going to mess with."
"You're doing it again!" Yami shouted.
Just then, the doors burst open and Y. Malik jumped inside.
"I smell the Pharaoh!" He shouted. He scanned the store before seeing Yami and Bakura, still 'hugging'.
"NO ONE HUGS WITHOUT MEEEE!" Y. Malik shrieked, diving on top of the two Yamis. They all landed in a pile on the floor, with Yami on the bottom.
"Aww, I love you, Thief." Y. Malik stated, nuzzling Bakura.
"Get off! I'm not your damn pony!" Yami ordered from the bottom of the pile. Bakura perked up.
"PONY?!" he shrieked happily.
"Ride the Pharaoh, ride the Pharaoh!" Y. Malik squealed.
"Stop bouncing!" Bakura screamed.
Yami suddenly stood up, expecting to push the other Yamis off. But due to the fact that they were all still clinging to him, however, they all fell backwards, now with Y. Malik on the bottom.
"Now I'M the pony!" Y. Malik exclaimed, hugging Bakura closer to him.
"Thief, get your hands off my waist, if you want to keep them intact with your wrists." Yami growled. Bakura snatched his hands away, laughing nervously.
"Oops, sorry, Pharaoh." Bakura froze. "Wait, who's touching my waist?" he shrieked.
"Aww, I love you, Thief."
"AHHHHH!" Yami and Bakura both jumped away from Y. Malik. Yami brushed himself off.
"Okay, I got the party supplies, let's go."
Bakura raised his eyebrow. "When did you get the party supplies?"
"I don't know! They're in my hand, they're in a bag, the receipts in here, let's go!" Yami shouted impatiently. All three started towards the door. Yami turned and faced Y. Malik. "Why are you following us?"
"I'm certainly not spying on you two, if that's what you mean." Y. Malik answered. Yami raised his eyebrow and leaned over to Bakura.
"I think he's spying on us."
Bakura snorted. "What are you talking about? He just said he wasn't. Hey, look! Costumes!" He dashed over to the costume department, which was right next to the exit. He came out, holding a costume.
"Hey, look! A Pharaoh costume!" he laughed. He put it back and walked over to Yami. "Hey, you remember when you were Pharaoh?"
Yami narrowed his eyes. "Yes."
"Yeah. You were doing well until everyone died."
Yami shrugged. "Hey, I tried helping them, I tried not helping them, and it all blew up in my face."
Bakura shook his head. "Some things never change. It just shows that you can lead a horse to water-,"
"-But you can't change its spots." Y. Malik interrupted. "Boy, don't I know it, sister."
Bakura blinked. "Not exactly where I was going, but…" As they exited, Bakura caught sight of the pony machine. He ran over to Yami and started whining.
"Pharaoh, you promised me a quarter-Pharaoh, you promised me- PHARAOH-!"
"ALL RIGHT!" Yami reached into his pocket and produced a quarter.
"I want one too!" Y. Malik shrieked. Yami reached into his pockets, but couldn't find one.
"Sorry, you'll both have to share." Yami explained. Bakura and Y. Malik both turned to stare at each other.
"I'm not sharing my quarter with that psycho!" Bakura yelled and jumped on the pony ride.
"Hey!" Y. Malik grabbed Bakura threw him off.
Bakura jumped up and threw a swing at Y. Malik, who dodged. Bakura tried again, and this time one connected, and Y. Malik fell to the ground hard. It was when Y. Malik took out his Millennium Rod that Yami lost it.
"You know what?! I'm about to put this quarter back in my pocket and take you both home because you kids are driving me crazy!" Yami screamed. "Now both of you get on that damn horse!"
Bakura and Y. Malik both obeyed and got on the horse. Yami stuck the quarter in and the ride started. Almost instantly,
Y. Malik started to cry.
"What the Hell's wrong with you?" Bakura asked.
"It's too faaaaast!" Y. Malik wailed. Bakura started to shove him away, which only succeeded in making Y. Malik cry louder. Finally Yami had enough and grabbed them both by one ear and dragged them off.
"Waste of my damn quarter…" He mumbled, while Bakura started crying and saying the ride wasn't even over, and then started punching Y. Malik just to be annoying. Yami stopped and turned to face them.
"Okay, if I buy you both a Popsicle, will you two shut up?" Yami asked. Bakura and Y. Malik were both quiet as they thought.
"…I WANT GRAPE!" Bakura shouted. Y. Malik shoved him.
"No way, I'm getting grape!"
"I called it first!" Bakura shrieked.
"Calm down, there's bound to be more than one grape!" Yami explained. Bakura and Y. Malik were both quiet as they thought this over again.
"…I CALL ORANGE!" Bakura shouted. Yami grabbed him by his shirt collar.
"Hey, if anyone's getting orange, it's going to be me."
***
Wednesday: 7:34 P.M.
Y. Malik walked up to his front door.
"Bye, Pharaoh! Bye Thief, I love you!" He called. The car in his driveway backed up and drove away rather fast. He shrugged and walked into his house. Malik immediately rushed over to him.
"Well, what happened?"
Y. Malik thought for a moment.
"Well, first I couldn't find them 'cause I was sniffing the wrong people. But then when I found them, the Thief and the Pharaoh were hugging, so I decided to hug too. And then the Pharaoh was on the bottom and I was on the top, and the Thief was in the middle, and we all rode the Pharaoh."
At this point, Malik's eyes bulged out. Y. Malik continued.
"And then the Pharaoh got mad, so I was on the bottom, and he was on the top. The Thief was still in the middle, 'cause he didn't have a say in the matter. And then we rode the pony, but it was too fast, and the Thief kept nudging me. Then the Pharaoh bought me a Popsicle! Then they brought me home, 'cause they said they didn't want me tagging along, 'cause they wanted to be alone to do something, but they wouldn't tell me what." He paused for a minute. "Did I tell you the Pharaoh bought me a Popsicle?"
"Did you take notes?" Malik asked franticly. Y. Malik thought for a minute.
"Oh yeah!" He pulled a notepad out from God-knows-where and handed it to Malik. Malik flipped through the pages, which were covered in drawings.
"Where's the notes?!" He asked.
"Those are the notes!" Y. Malik pointed to a page. "See, that's me," He pointed to a squiggle line that looked very happy and had hearts and smiley faces coming out of it, "and that's the Thief," he then pointed to another squiggle line with angry eyes holding a knife, "and there's Pharaoh!" He pointed to a perfect portrait of Yami holding a Popsicle. Malik raised his eyebrow.
"Okay, you go back to your drawings and I'm going to use the phone." Malik explained. Y. Malik shrugged and wandered away. Malik grabbed the phone and ran into the living room, dialing the numbers even before he reached the couch.
***
Wednesday: 7:58 P.M.
"…And that's all that he told me. There could have been more, but I'll have to hypnotize him in order to drag it out." Malik explained, on the phone with Yuugi and Ryou.
"Are we going to play 'Senor Enchanto' again?" Y. Malik called from the kitchen.
"Go back to your pancake farm." Malik answered.
"But I think Mr. and Mrs. Butterworth are taking bribes!" Y. Malik cried, but went back to his work.
"Anyway, back to what we were talking about…" Malik started. Suddenly, there was a loud cry heard over the line.
"IT'S NOT TRUE! IT'S NOT TRUE! IT'S NOT TRUE!" There was the sound of a click.
"…I think Yuugi's gone. Ryou, you still there?" Malik asked.
"…I'm gonna kill him…I'm gonna kill him…I'm gonna kill him…" There was another click as Ryou left the conversation. Malik looked at the phone and hung up himself. He sighed and leaned back in his chair. Y. Malik came into the living room.
"Aww, you look sad-WANNA BITE?!" Y. Malik screamed, holding a fork covered in syrup with some pancake at the end in Malik's face. Malik sighed again and ate it.
"Oops…" Y. Malik said uneasily.
"What?" Malik asked.
"That wasn't a pancake…" Y. Malik answered as Malik groaned and ran into the bathroom.
***
Yami pulled to a stop at Bakura' house. After they said their goodbyes, thank yous, you're welcomes, good nights, and an outburst of 'I'll destroy all that is good in your life someday', Yami backed up and headed towards his own house. He opened the door and stepped inside. He was immediately confronted by Yuugi, who looked oddly threatening in his Dark-Magician robe over lighter blue pajamas. Yami backed into a corner.
"What did you do today?" Yuugi asked in a terrifyingly calm voice.
"I-I just hung out w-with Bakura and Y-Yami Malik." Yami stuttered.
"Uh huh, uh huh, right." Yuugi replied sarcastically. He stepped up closer to Yami, who immediately tried to back against the wall, but only managed to slide down it. "Are you sleeping with them?!"
Yami raised his eyebrow and stood up. "Why the Hell would I sleep with those two losers when I have you?"
"Oh Yami, I knew you wouldn't do anything like that!" Yuugi chirped happily, immediately hugging his Yami's arm.
"Then why'd you ask…?" Yami mumbled. Yuugi's eyes snapped open and he glared at his Yami.
"Do I have to get the ice?!" He snapped. Yami waved his free hand in protest.
"No, sir."
Yuugi suddenly giggled, which caused Yami to peer over at him.
"What's so funny?" He asked. Yuugi looked up at him and shifted his eyes away teasingly.
"I was just thinking of how fun it would be to rip off your clothes with my teeth, succumb to your mad sex skills and make sweet-sweet love to you."
Yami raised his eyebrow.
"Then what the Hell are we doing in here?" He asked, leading Yuugi to the bedroom.
***
Bakura fumbled with his keys, opening the door and entering his house.
This is the perfect chance! He thought happily, noticing all the lights were off. Now I can hide all these party things in the attic without Aibou finding out. He slowly walked through the darkness, trying to find the stairway that led to the attic. Twice he ran into the same table, and he swore he knocked over the same vase three times. He finally located the stairway and stumbled up the steps, stashing the party favors in the nearest compartment. He made his way down the steps and headed towards his room. As he neared the door, he tripped over some unidentified items that seemed to be scattered all over his walkway. He fell, and his forehead slammed into the door.
"GOD DAMNIT!" He screamed, dropping to the ground with his hand over his forehead as he waited for the dizziness to fade. After twenty minutes, he staggered to his feet and felt around for the light switch. When he turned it on, he found his pillow and a blanket on the floor. He looked around and noticed a note on the floor next to them. He picked it up.
You sleep on the COUCH tonight.
-Ryou
Bakura tossed the note away, grabbed his pillow and curled up as close as he could to the door. He sighed.
"G'night, Hikari." He mumbled. Ryou, who was sleeping against the other side of the door, smiled sadly.
"Good night, Yami."
-----------------
(A/N)
Aww, wasn't that such a cute ending? Didn't it make you feel all warm and gooey on the inside? Well, hopefully not gooey, but warm, nonetheless. Not so warm that you'll start complaining about the air conditioning and start riots in your own home-ah, forget it. Will Ryou and Bakura ever make up? Will I ever not be evil enough to actually let them make up? Will I ever get a life? Not if I can help it! Stay tuned for the next chapter, about cake! (And things not pertaining to cake.)
Chapter Three; "The Pharaoh's Gift…OF DOOM!"
(You see, you just add 'doom' to something and it makes you want to read it!)
Until the future happens (which it often does), LOVE, PEACE, and other such concepts.