Bakura: Master Party Planner from the Stars and Beyond!
A Yu-Gi-Oh Fanfiction by SpookyChild
Authors Notes:
AGH! FINALLY! AFTER MINUTES OF PLANNING, CHAPTER THREE IS DONE! Actually, it was far more than 'minutes' of planning. Actually, weeks and weeks of planning, which led to some unfortunate brain erosion on my part. I am now nothing but the happily drooling criminally insane author everyone thought me to be. I type with a straw. I stick it in my mouth, because straight jackets don't give you much room in which to type with your fingers. I had to sell my medications to buy this straw. I keep seeing little tugboats in the sky, which I've heard were not good. READ OR DIE!
Disclaimer: Yu-Gi-Oh belongs to a large, major corporation that has the power to destroy mere mortals like sparrows in a jet turbine. I really don't want to get a lawsuit charged against me, and the C.I.A said that if I was on my best behavior, they'd give me a License to Kill. So in other words, I don't own Yu-Gi-Oh.
---
"I'm so afraid to love you, but more afraid to lose /
Clinging to a past that doesn't let me choose /
Once there was a darkness, deep and endless night /
You gave me everything you had, oh, you gave me light." –Sarah McLachlan
"There's just no rhyme or reason /
Only this sense of completion /
And in your eyes /
I see the missing pieces /
I'm searching for /
I think I found my best friend." –Savage Garden
---
Chapter Three: " The Pharaoh's Gift…OF DOOM!"
***
Ryou opened his eyes to find himself staring up at the ceiling. What am I doing on the floor? He thought, rubbing the back of his neck. He stumbled to his feet, using the doorknob to pull himself up. Rubbing his eyes, he started out the door-and fell flat on his face. He opened his eyes, wincing slightly, and stared into the eyes of Bakura. He froze, his face turning an interesting shade of crimson. Bakura started back at Ryou, a smile playing on his lips.
His lips…his…ummm…yeah…
Ryou opened his mouth to say something when Bakura placed a finger to his lips. Ryou's eyes widened as Bakura leaned in and placed his mouth to Ryou's. His lips were warm and gentle at first but soon became more passionate. At first, Ryou was in shock, but slowly he began to respond to his kissing. His mind was swirling and he was losing his grip on reality. He faintly heard the front door open, and then someone was calling Bakura's name. Ryou realized that the voice belonged to Yami, and at the same time, so did Bakura. Bakura quickly jumped up, waved cheerfully to Ryou and skipped down the stairs. Ryou stayed in his spot for a few seconds, his hands over his face as he tried to keep from blushing too much so his face didn't catch fire. His heart was beating so fast he thought for sure it would jump out of his chest. He jumped up and scrambled to look between the bars on the stairwell, only to see…Bakura and Yami making out?!
Anger spread through Ryou like wild fire. How dare he? He couldn't believe what he was seeing. One second, his Yami was giving him his first kiss, and the next, he was making out with the goddamn PHARAOH! He felt used and betrayed.
My Yami will PAY!
Bakura wrapped his arms around Yami's neck and deepened the kiss, slipping his tongue into Yami's mouth. Bakura shifted his gaze to his stunned Hikari and winked. Ryou opened his mouth with horror.
"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
***
Day Three: Wednesday, 9:23 A.M.
Ryou's eyes snapped open, sweat covering his face while he tried to catch his breath. He raised his hand, which was shaking violently, to his throat and held it there, gasping as he stared up at the ceiling. That…dream…was… He tried to catch his breath. He froze and raised his eyebrow, a bewildered look on his face. …Interesting. He rose and opened the door, his hand over his fore head. He started out the door-and fell flat on his face. He opened his eyes, wincing slightly, and stared into the eyes of Bakura. Bakura blinked.
"Um, good morning." Bakura said bluntly. Ryou blushed slightly, remembering his dream, then stopped abruptly. He remembered Malik's information, and also the not-so-great aspects of his dream. Anger filled him and he jumped to his feet.
"I'LL 'GOOD MORNING' YOU!" Ryou stomped away, leaving a very stunned Bakura lying on the ground. He shrugged and jumped up, heading down the stairs. He walked into the kitchen where Ryou was pouring cereal, mumbling angrily about something. Bakura smiled and walked over to him. He looked over Ryou's shoulder.
"Daddy bought Lucky Charms! You gonna fix me any?" Bakura asked nicely. Ryou slammed the cereal box down and spun around.
"I'LL FIX YOU!" He screamed, storming out of the kitchen without his cereal. Bakura shrugged and took Ryou's bowl. Yami walked in through the door just as Ryou stormed past him. Yami smiled.
"Hello, Ryou."
"HOME-WRECKER!" Ryou shouted, running up the stairs and slamming his door so hard the whole house shook.
"Last time I say hello to that ungrateful bastard. I swear; he acts like that damn thief more and more each day." Yami grumbled. "Damn albinos…they're always so moody."
Bakura appeared behind Yami. "Did you say something about my Aibou? You know I'll kill you if you did." He stated. Yami sighed and shook his head.
"So, what's on the agenda for today?" Yami asked. Bakura thought for a minute.
"We need a cake. Are you supposed to have cakes at parties?"
Yami shrugged. "I'm guessing. What kind does he like?"
Bakura shrugged also. He walked over to the edge of the stairs and looked up.
"Aibou? Hypothetically speaking, what's your favorite cake?" He called. Ryou's door shot open.
"I'LL FAVORITE YOUR CAKE!" Ryou screamed, slamming his door again. Bakura cowered slightly before walking back over to Yami. Yami raised his eyebrow.
"Man, what's with him today?" He asked.
"I don't know. He keeps threatening me in oddly humorous manners." Bakura answered. Suddenly, as if remembering something, Bakura grabbed hold of Yami's shirt.
"I have to get him a present! Dear Ra, Pharaoh, you have to help me! What do you get a teenager?!" Bakura shrieked, sounding like some aging hipster. Yami cleared his throat and shoved Bakura off him. He brushed himself off.
"Okay, how about you and I-,"
"Me and you." Bakura corrected, even though it was incorrect. Yami glared at him.
"…You and I go get a present for him, while…Malik and Jounouchi get a cake. You can tell them the details and everything." Yami explained. Bakura thought this over.
"…I guess I have to invite them now. God damn it! And I'll probably have to invite Honda too!" Bakura cried.
"I think Honda's dead." Yami stated. Bakura raised his eyebrow.
"Are you sure?"
"Well, either that or he's at his grandmothers or something, I really don't know." Yami finished. Bakura shrugged and walked over to the phone and dialed a number. It rang five times before it was picked up. Bakura heard some rustling and whispering, and finally Jounouchi answered.
"Hello?" Jounouchi asked warily.
"Hello…" Bakura put his hand over the phone and turned to Yami. "Um, line?"
"Jounouchi." Yami answered. Bakura nodded and took his hand off the phone.
"Hello, Jounouchi. It's me, Bakura. I was wondering, would you do me-,"
" 'Do' you? Hell yeah!" Jounouchi exclaimed.
"God damn it, that's not what I'm talking about!" Bakura shouted. "Now, would you do me a favor?"
"Uh, yeah sure, okay." Jounouchi answered. There was some more rustling. "Stop it, Seto, I'm on the phone!" Jounouchi whispered away from the mouthpiece. Bakura raised his eyebrow.
"God damn sex-addict…" Bakura mumbled. Jounouchi came back on.
"What?" He asked.
"Oh, I was…talking about me. Yeah, I'm addicted to sex. Anyhoo-," Bakura continued without giving Jounouchi the chance to respond. "There's a cake place in town. I think it's called 'Mary Anne's Cakes.' Oh yeah, that's what it's called." Bakura started to get a drunken look to his face. "That place is awesome. Mary Anne actually gets in the cake for you." He shook his head fiercely and continued. "Yeah, so, the place is called 'Mary Anne's Cakes.' I want you to go and get one."
"One what?" Jounouchi interrupted.
"A cake, you moron. What else would they sell?" Bakura asked angrily.
"I'm sorry, I thought you were talking about Mary Anne. Please, continue."
"Like I was saying. Get a cake. I think chocolate would be okay. I think Aibou once said he like chocolate cake. Either that, or he said he was allergic to it." Bakura went silent for a while. "…Let's hope it's the first one. Just stop by here. I'll leave the door unlocked, and the money for it will be on the table. Oh yeah, and Malik's coming with you."
"You didn't ask him yet. You can't be sure he's going to go with him." Yami stated from behind Bakura. Bakura grinned evilly.
"Oh, I have ways of making him bend to my will."
"…No you don't!"
Bakura held up his hand to silence him and went back to the conversation with Jounouchi.
"Well, thanks, uh, you." Bakura said, obviously forgetting Jounouchi's name already.
"Hey, it's no problem for a buddy like you." Jounouchi answered. There was some more rustling. "Seto, let go of that!" Jounouchi cried. Bakura quickly slammed the phone down.
"My Ra, has the whole world gone gay?" Bakura snapped.
"Possibly." Yami replied absentmindedly. He suddenly realized that Bakura was staring at him. Yami blinked. "I mean, what?"
Bakura shook his head and dialed another number.
"Hello, Ishtar residence! I am speaking!" Came a voice. Bakura raised his eyebrow.
"Uh, hey, is…" Bakura put his hand over the phone and turned to Yami. "Um, line?"
"Oh, for the love of…" Yami shook his head. "It's Malik!"
Bakura nodded and took his hand off the phone. "Yeah, is Malik there?"
"I'm sorry, you must have 'deh vrong number." Giggled the voice again, impersonating a totally fake German accent. Bakura's eyebrow twitched.
"DAMN IT, PSYCHO! PUT MALIK ON THE PHONE!" Bakura screamed. Y. Malik shrieked in surprise, before laughing uncontrollably.
"Are you making prank calls to the Soviet Union again? It's your fault they broke up! Get away from that phone!" Malik's voice sounded. Y. Malik screamed again and dropped the phone. Malik picked it up.
"Hello?" Malik answered.
"Jeez, you should keep a leash around him. Anyhoo, Jounouchi's going to come by and pick you up. You two are going to run an errand for me." Bakura said.
"Okay."
"Great. Bye." Bakura hung up. Yami blinked.
"Wow, that was easy!" He exclaimed. Bakura shrugged.
"Yeah, I've got the dirt on him."
"What?"
Bakura pulled out a picture and handed it to Yami. Yami looked at the picture before clamping a hand over his mouth.
"Oh my Ra, it's a picture of Malik from THAT CHRISTMAN PARTY!" Yami shrieked. Bakura laughed.
"I know! MERRY CHRISTMAS, MALIK!" He put the picture back in his pocket. "Okay, Pharaoh, let's go." Bakura walked back over to the stairs.
"Hey, I'm going somewhere with the Pharaoh, okay?" Bakura called.
"I'LL PHARAOH YOU!" Ryou yelled.
"…Okay! Let's go, Pharaoh!"
Bakura and Yami walked out the door.
***
Wednesday, 9:28 A.M.
Malik grabbed his coat from the closet and put it on.
"Hey, sis! I'm leaving!" He called. Isis rushed out of the kitchen and grabbed his arm before he left.
"You're taking the Psycho with you, right?" She asked frantically.
"Sorry, I can't." Malik answered. He started for the door again. Isis grabbed him and spun him around.
"If you think I'm going to watch that Psycho, then you're wrong! DEAD WRONG!" She screamed, waving a frying pan threateningly in his face. Malik grabbed the frying pan and set it down.
"Listen, I think Yami is old enough to behave while I'm gone. Aren't you, Yami?" He called. Right on cue, Y. Malik ran out of his room, chasing a chicken.
"COME BACK, FREDRICK! I'M YOUR FRIEEEEEEEND!" He stopped abruptly when he noticed Malik and Isis staring at him. He blinked. "Um, what?"
"You'll be a good boy for Isis while I'm gone, right?" Malik asked. Y. Malik sat on the couch.
"Um, okay." Y. Malik answered. Malik smiled.
"Good! I'll be back in a while; I have to meet Jounouchi at the corner. See you!" Malik quickly rushed out the door before Isis could say anything. Two seconds later, Malik stuck his head back in. "And keep him out of my porn." He left. Isis stared at the door before sitting on the couch. She turned her head to look at Y. Malik.
"Erm, hello." She said, noticing that Y. Malik was glaring at her on the other side of the couch. He moved over until he was almost on top of her.
"Did you eat my waffle?!" He asked frantically. Isis blinked.
"Um, no." She stammered. Y. Malik grabbed her arm and sniffed it.
"You smell like waffles." He stated suspiciously. Isis sighed. It was going to be a long day.
***
Wednesday, 11:57 A.M.
"Should I get him this?"
Yami turned around to see Bakura holding a pen.
"…A pen?" Yami questioned.
"Oh no, it's not just a pen, it has a clock in it too!" Bakura explained. "So when he writing something he can turn it over and realize, 'Whoa! It's time to hang out with Bakura!'"
Yami shook his head. "Don't…don't get him that." Bakura threw it down angrily and crossed his arms.
"Then I have no idea of what to get him!" Bakura pouted. They walked throughout the store before Yami caught sight of the jewelry department. He thought for a moment, and then grinned evilly.
"I know what you can get him." Yami said slyly. He grabbed Bakura and led him into the jewelry department. He pointed to some rings.
"Now, if you want your Aibou to go ga-ga over you, get him a ring." Yami snickered. Bakura looked at the diamond ring.
"Are you sure?" Bakura asked. Yami nodded.
"Trust me. I got my Aibou one for our anniversary." Yami answered. Bakura thought for a moment.
"…Do I want Aibou to go 'ga-ga' over me?" He asked.
Yami nodded again. Bakura looked back at the ring.
"May I help you?"
Bakura looked up to see a salesman standing behind the counter. He pointed to the ring. "How much is that one?"
The salesman reached in and checked the price tag. "Fifteen hundred dollars." He stated. Bakura thought for a moment.
"…I will give you ten dollars." He finally said. The salesman raised his eyebrow.
"Um, no."
Bakura snorted. "Well, is there anything here I can get for ten dollars?"
The salesman reached into the cash register. "How about these two beautiful five-dollar bills?" He replied sarcastically, holding up two five-dollar bills. Bakura thought some more.
"…I will give you two-dollars for them." Yami elbowed Bakura in the side.
"Jeez, it's your Aibou! I think you can cough up fifteen hundred dollars for him!" Yami stated. Bakura suddenly reached into his pocket and pulled out a credit card.
"Hey, I forgot! I have this!" Bakura exclaimed.
Yami grabbed it and looked at the name. "Hey, this is Kaiba's credit card! Where'd you get it?"
"Um, I…found it." Bakura stammered. Yami narrowed his eyes.
"Where?"
"In his…pocket. Come on, who cares? Kaiba's a billionaire! He won't even notice his credit card is gone." Bakura answered. He turned back to face the salesman. "Could you hold out that ring and say, 'This is for you, Aibou.'?" He asked him. The salesman reached in and held out the ring.
"This is for you, Aibou." He said without emotion. Bakura clasped his hands over his mouth and gasped.
"That…That's it! That's the one!" Bakura exclaimed. He handed the credit card to the salesman.
***
Wednesday, 12:02 P.M.
Jounouchi and Malik pulled up in front of Bakura's house.
"You can go inside, I'll wait in the car." Jounouchi told Malik.
"Comatose slacker…" Malik grumbled, getting out of the car and walking into the house. He walked over to the nearest table where he saw twenty dollars under a note that said "MALIK." He took the money and put it in his pocket. He wandered into the kitchen and went to get a beer from the fridge, but found a note over them that said "DON'T YOU DARE: I'VE COUNTED THEM, AND I WILL KILL YOU IF ANY ARE GONE WHEN I GET HOME."
"Damn." Malik whispered. He passed by the counter and noticed a few dollars lying on it. He looked around cautiously before taking the money and stuffing it in his other pocket.
"Hey, man, what's taking you so long?" Jounouchi called from the doorway. Malik shrieked and threw the money back on the counter. He dusted himself off and walked out of the kitchen.
"Okay, okay, I'm coming." Malik and Jounouchi went back in the car. They drove in silence.
"So…what's up?" Jounouchi asked Malik.
"I'm not your damn slave, look up yourself!" Malik snapped. Jounouchi decided that silence was better.
***
Wednesday, 12:10 P.M.
Isis poked her head into the kitchen.
"Psycho? Are you in here?" She asked quietly. There was no response. She wandered back into the living room, and then went into the dining room. "Psycho?" She called softly. There was a giggle that sent chills up Isis's spine. She stepped into the dining room more. It's okay, it's okay, he's just INSANE. I'm just an innocent, BEAUTIFUL girl. Isis paused. And so were those campers in 'Jason.' She walked over to the table. A hand slipped out from under it and grabbed her ankle. She screamed and fell on the floor, just as Y. Malik jumped out from under the table.
"Aww, I'm sorry, Sister Isis. Did I scare you?" Before Isis had the chance to answer, Y. Malik ran out of the room. Isis jumped to her feet and chased him, grabbing him by his hair. She dragged him into his room and grabbed a belt from his closet. She took him downstairs and strapped him to the couch.
"There! Now I can keep and eye on you." Isis said to a very pouty-looking Y. Malik. She grabbed a magazine and started reading, oblivious to the ingenious plan forming in the Psychotic Egyptian's head.
"My bologna has a first name, it's O-S-C-A-R! My bologna has a second name, it's M-A-Y-E-R! Oh I have to eat it every day, and if you ask me why, I'll SAY-AY-AY-AY! 'Cause Oscar Mayer has a way with B-O-L-O-G-N-A!" Y. Malik screamed in joy at the end of the song. Isis reached over and whacked Y. Malik over his head with her magazine.
"Would you be quiet? I reading an interview with Keanu Reeves!" She explained. Y. Malik sighed heavily.
"Ah, Keanu, he's so dreamy!"
"…SHUT UP!" Isis yelled, and whacked him in the head again.
***
Wednesday, 1:47 P.M.
Bakura and Yami pulled into the driveway and got out.
"Okay, I'm going to go in first and make sure Aibou isn't in there, okay?" Bakura explained. Yami shrugged and leaned against the car while Bakura opened the front door. He walked halfway into the living room when he saw Ryou sitting on the couch, watching T.V.
Damn it, I have to hide his present somewhere! Bakura looked around frantically before diving behind the couch. He shoved it under just as Ryou looked over the back."What are you doing?" Ryou asked. Bakura started to panic.
"Oh, um, it's just that…I can't watch, it's too scary!" Bakura finally said. Ryou raised his eyebrow.
"Yami, it's a commercial about diapers."
Bakura started to panic again. "Oh, well, you know…Babies, responsibility, AHHH!" He cried, using a totally fake terrified voice. He jumped up and grabbed Ryou's hand and dragged him upstairs.
"Okay, I have something to show you…so stay up here. I have…to…go get it! Yeah!" Bakura quickly shut the door, leaving a very confused Ryou to sit on his bed. Bakura quickly ran down the stairs two at a time. He burst through the front door.
"Okay, Pharaoh, you can come in now!" He called. Yami jogged up the driveway and entered. They both sat down on the couch.
"So, what'll we do now?" Yami asked. Bakura shrugged.
"I don't know, I guess we wait until Malik and the other guy come back." Bakura stated.
"It's Jounouchi! Can't you just remember one name?" Yami asked. Bakura shrugged again. Just then, the front door opened and Malik and Jounouchi entered with the cake.
"Hey, Bakura, we got it!" Malik called. Bakura jumped up and ran over to them.
"Don't drop it, don't drop it!" He cried, dancing around them.
"Relax, we're not going to drop it!" Malik yelled. Bakura stopped bouncing around them and went to close the door. As the two cake-holders entered the kitchen, there was a loud splat. Bakura groaned.
"What happened?" He asked, walking into the kitchen.
"…We dropped it." Jounouchi replied sullenly, looking at the floor where the cake was.
"Well, looks like we're up Dawson's Creek without a paddle." Bakura stated, leaning against the counter. He looked over. "Did someone touch my money?"
Malik looked away slightly to see Yami going through Bakura's fridge. "Hey, he's getting one of your beers." He pointed out. Bakura looked over.
"So?"
"Oh, okay." Malik walked over to get a beer for himself. Bakura whirled around.
"What the Hell do you think you're doing?!" He snapped. Bakura walked over and slammed the refrigerator door shut. "You just don't touch another man's beer!"
"But you let the Pharaoh have one!" Malik whined.
"Yeah well he's the PHARAOH. He could sick his guards out on me right now!" Bakura glanced around nervously, expecting some Egyptian guard to pounce on him any minute now.
Yami smiled at how stupid the thief was and finished off his beer. He then reached to grab another one. I love being the Pharaoh.
"But we're not in Egypt anymore, you idiot." Malik glared at Bakura.
"Well maybe you aren't. Besides, you're a minor."
Malik could barely control his temper. "YOU'RE A MINOR TOO!"
"The Hell I am! The Pharaoh and I are over five thousand years old… while you haven't even reached puberty." Bakura smiled at the enraged Egyptian. I love pressing his buttons.
"I have too reached puberty!" Malik grinned devilishly. "Besides, I'm sexier than you."
"You got that right." Yami smiled while drinking his third beer and then he realized everyone was looking at him. "I mean…I want some sex." Yami grumbled in between sips of his beer.
"What?!" Bakura, Malik, and Jounouchi yelled in unison.
"I said I want you two to shut up!"
"Oh…." There was an awkward silence between them all until Yami spoke up.
"I'm going to go buy the ingredients to bake a cake. You'll just have to make one, Thief."
Bakura nodded.
"Now give me some money." Yami held out his hand.
Bakura didn't have enough money so he gave him Kaiba's credit card.
"Hey isn't that Seto's credit card?" Jounouchi asked Bakura.
Bakura grabbed Jounouchi and threw him out the door. "You've out stayed your welcome."
Yami was about to leave when Bakura stopped him. "Hey, are you sure you can do this? You did just drink three full beers."
Yami stared at him blankly. "I can hold my liquor, Thief. In fact, I could out drink even you."
Bakura closed his eyes and smiled. "I highly doubt that, Pharaoh."
"Is that a challenge?" Yami asked slyly.
"Maybe later, Pharaoh. Cake first, drinking contest later." Bakura answered, pushing Yami out the door.
"Hey, can I use your phone?" Malik called.
"Yeah, sure." Bakura wandered back into the kitchen and handed it to him. Malik took it, and dialed the number to his house.
***
Isis picked up the phone without looking away from her magazine. "Hello?"
"Hey, sis, how's Yami doing? Is he being good?" Malik's voice asked.
"Yeah, he's fine. I gave him some Nyquil earlier, he should be out for a while." She looked over to where Y. Malik was supposed to be, but only saw the ripped belt. "Uh oh, looks like he chewed through the belt again. I better go find him."
"Yeah, you better. Remember the last time he chewed through the strap. He ended up as a Mexican hat-dancer in Peru." Malik informed. Isis nodded.
"Yeah, I know, I know-," Isis was interrupted by a loud crash upstairs. She moved the phone away from her mouth. "Psycho! You better not be in Malik's adult books!"
"Everybody's hugging!" Y. Malik cried from Malik's room. Isis sighed.
"I'll have to talk to you when you get home, the Psycho found your porn. See you." Isis hung up and started up the stairs.
***
Wednesday, 3:34 P.M.
What the Hell are the ingredients for cake? Yami thought as he entered the supermarket. He looked around until he found someone who worked there. He quickly approached her.
"Hello. Could you show me what ingredients to get to make a cake?" He asked. The girl spun around.
"Yami!" Anzu squealed. Yami cringed.
"Um, hey."
She wrinkled her nose. "You smell like alcohol. Have you been drinking?"
(Ooh, maybe he's intoxicated!)
"Oh, I've only had three beers." Yami answered.
(And that's not enough to make me like you.)
"Oh. Well, I'll show you to the ingredients. So, you're making a cake for Ryou and Bakura's anniversary?" Anzu asked, handing him a carton of eggs.
"No, Bakura is. I'm just picking up the ingredients." Yami replied as Anzu started piling more ingredients into his arms. They walked over to the checkout counter, and Yami dumped all the ingredients on it. Anzu started ringing them all up.
"You know, Yami, I get off in ten minutes. I could drop you off at Bakura's." Anzu hinted.
(And if you're as drunk as I think you are, and then maybe we can take a little detour to my house…)
Yami put on a fake smile. "No, I'm already late as it is."
(It would take more than fifty bottles of tequila before I'd go home with you.)
"Oh. Well, okay then." Anzu replied, handing the bag of groceries to Yami. Yami started out the door, holding the box of cake mix in his hands. He stared at the directions, which were in…Japanese. Yami cursed in Egyptian. He walked back over to Anzu and held the box out to her.
"I can't read this." He stated. Anzu blinked, and then clasped her hands together in understanding.
"Oh! Because it's not in hieroglyphics! If you wait for me, I can come over and help you two." Anzu said, happy to be able to drive Yami home. "You didn't bring your car, did you?"
Yami sighed. "No, I walked." God damn it, she's wormed her way into my life again.
"Okay then! You can sit right here until I'm done with my shift!" Anzu patted a chair that was next to her behind the cash register. Yami sighed, set his bag under the counter and sat down.
***
Wednesday, 4:06 P.M.
Yami quickly ran through the door and burst into the kitchen.
"RUN." Yami gasped, leaning against the counter. Bakura raised his eyebrow.
"Wha-?" Just as those words escaped Bakura's lips, Anzu skipped into the kitchen.
"Hi, guys!" She chirped. Bakura practically fell over on himself.
"Holy shit!" He cried. Malik simply shrieked and went pale. Anzu walked over to the counter and sat all the ingredients down. Bakura and Malik scurried away and hid behind Yami.
"Oh great, feed me to the wolfs!" Yami hissed. Bakura and Malik shrugged.
"Better you than us." They whispered in unison. Anzu spun around.
"Okay, then!" She started, clasping her hands together. "First, we need a big mixing bowl!"
Bakura shoved Malik away from him. "Go up and distract Aibou while we're down here making the cake. Do everything in your power to keep him in that room. You hear me?" Malik nodded and hurried up the stairs. Anzu tapped her foot impatiently.
"Bowl, please!" She ordered. Bakura jumped up and handed her one.
"Okay, take it. Please, just don't kill me. " Bakura mumbled. Anzu took the bowl and began her 'work.'
***
Malik rushed into the room and slammed the door. He breathed a sigh of relief.
Thank God, I thought I would die if I had to be in the same room as Anzu. Malik thought to himself. He turned around, and immediately noticed Ryou sitting on his bed, reading a book. Ryou blinked, but didn't say anything.
"Erm, hi." Malik said awkwardly.
"Hello." Ryou replied, equally awkward. Malik shifted his feet. Ryou stayed where he was. There was silence. A lot of silence.
***
"…And then you add three cups of milk and mix with an egg beater! Now, who wants to lick the spoon?" Anzu turned around and held out the batter-coated spoon. Yami and Bakura simply sat there, staring at it. Bakura squirmed slightly.
"…Oh, I don't care if it is Anzu, I want that damn spoon!" Bakura exclaimed, jumping up and grabbing the spoon. Anzu smiled.
"Oh, what a good boy!" She squealed, trying to pat him on the head. Bakura growled and scurried to the end of the table with his spoon. Anzu shrugged and turned back to the batter. "Yami, would you get me a pan?"
Yami cringed and got her one. Anzu started pouring the batter into the pan. When it was all in, she held up a spoon with a little batter on it.
"Here, Yami, try it and tell me if it's good." She held it up to him. Yami waved his arms frantically in protest.
"No thanks, I'm good."
***
"…And so the girl kept screaming 'Stop hitting meeee! Quit kicking Grandma! Don't do that to my hamster!'" Malik explained, now rambling on for twenty minutes. Ryou suddenly got up and walked to the door. Malik jumped up and ran after him.
"Hey, where are you going?!" He asked frantically.
"I have to go to the bathroom." Ryou replied, raising his eyebrow. Malik looked around.
"But, you can't go out there yet!" Malik cried, then clamped his hands over his mouth. Ryou glared at him suspiciously before rushing towards the door. Malik grabbed him by his shoulders and pulled him away from it.
If Bakura doesn't kill me… Malik thought, and crushed his lips against Ryou's. Ryou immediately began pushing Malik off of him, but Malik had no intention of letting go. Just then the door to Ryou's room opened to reveal a VERY pissed off looking Bakura.
"I told you to distract him, not fucking kiss him! No one touches him but me! You here me?! No one! He's my little Hikari, MINE!" Bakura grabbed the nearby lamp and hurled it at Malik. Luckily, Ryou had seen this one coming and dodged the flying object. Unfortunately, Malik did not see this one coming and was impaled by said object.
"Damnit, Yami, that was my favorite lamp!" Ryou's blood was now boiling. He really needed to use the restroom. "If you both don't get the HELL out of my room, I will rip out your skulls with the spinal cord still attached, tie it around your ankles, nail you both to the wall, and SET YOU ON FIRE!" He shoved them both out and stomped off towards the bathroom.
Bakura and Malik stared dumbfounded where Ryou had been standing. "Damnit, Malik, this is all YOUR fault! He's probably in the bathroom throwing up, because of YOUR kiss!"
"Actually, he's probably going pee-HEY! I'm a good kisser! No one throws up when I kiss them." Malik cried.
Bakura shoved Malik up against the wall. "You stole MY Hikari's first kiss!"
"Psh! With a body and face like that? I'm sure he's been kissed plenty of times." Malik replied, pushing him away.
"WHA?! Are you implying that my Hikari's a man whore?!" Bakura shrieked, horrified.
"That's not what I said."
"Well you know what, Malik? He's not; he's just not! He would never, willingly, kiss someone."
"Are you saying he's a prude?" Malik asked, smiling.
Bakura gulped. "No…it's just that…he's waiting for the right…person…yeah"
Malik started grinning evilly. Bakura blushed and ran out of the room, leaving a laughing Malik behind. Bakura rushed into the kitchen.
"Is it done yet?" He asked impatiently. Anzu turned around.
"Almost! It'll be done when the timer goes off." She stated.
"Good." Bakura practically pushed Anzu out of the door. "Okay, so long, thanks for making the cake, BYE." Bakura slammed the door. Almost at the same time, the timer started ringing. Bakura ran over and stuck his bare hands into the oven and pulled out the cake.
"AHHHHHHH!!!" Bakura screamed, dropping the cake on the counter. He thrust his hands under the faucet and ran the cold water. Yami shook his head.
"Dumbass…" Yami mumbled. Bakura sat down at the table.
"I think it needs to cool." Bakura told Yami. Yami raised his eyebrow.
"Are your hands okay?" He asked. Bakura sat up as straight and dignified as he could.
"They don't even itch." He responded.
Yami reached over and poked Bakura's palms. He shook his head and laughed when Bakura started to cry loudly. Yami walked over and started to frost the cake.
"Is there a place to put this?" Yami asked, holding up the finished cake.
"Yeah. There's a refrigerator downstairs in the basement."
Yami nodded and walked toward the basement door.
"Wait, Pharaoh, I'll come with you!" Bakura ran after Yami.
***
Ahhh…my business… IS DONE. Ryou sighed, walking out of the bathroom. He immediately caught sight of Malik. Ryou gave him a death glare. Malik smiled weakly.
"I… I was just leaving." Malik explained, and ran out the front door. Ryou walked down the stairs, and entered the kitchen just as Yami and Bakura walked through the door of the basement. Ryou flared up with anger, a look that didn't go unnoticed by the two Egyptians.
"…And that's my cue to leave." Yami quickly ran out the front door.
Ryou spun on Bakura. "What were you two doing down in the basement?!"
Bakura started to protest when Ryou gave a little shriek.
"What happened to your hands?!" Ryou rushed forwards and took Bakura's hands gently into his own. Ryou led him to the table.
"You sit right here and don't move." He rushed over to the sink and pulled a First Aid Kit out from the cabinet under it. He sat back at the table.
"You don't really…" Bakura began. He winced slightly when Ryou began to put Neosporin on his hands. When Ryou finished, he wrapped Bakura's hands with a white bandage.
"…Thanks…" Bakura mumbled. Ryou waved his hand dismissively.
"It's no problem. You always seem to get hurt in someway." Ryou replied, putting the First Aid Kit back under the sink. Bakura laughed.
"Remember when we went fishing with your dad and I managed to get the fish hook stuck in my mouth?"
Ryou smiled. "Yeah. You cried like a baby."
"I did not!" Bakura cried, but not very convincing. Ryou laughed. Bakura looked at the ground.
"So…does this mean you're not mad at me anymore?" He asked quietly. Ryou stood solemn for a minute before smiling slightly.
"I guess."
Bakura grinned. "So…I can sleep with you now?" Ryou's eyes opened wide.
"Wha…sleep with me? What do you, uh, mean?" Ryou twiddled his thumbs, his face turning an interesting shade of crimson as his eyes wandered toward the ground.
"I mean, can I sleep in the bed now? The floor is kind of uncomfortable especially when you forget and fall on me in the morning."
Ryou narrowed his eyes. "Oh."
"So, do I get the bed?" Bakura smiled sweetly at his lighter side.
"NO! No bed for you!" Ryou quickly ran up the stairs and slammed the door behind him.
Bakura just stared blankly at the retreating figure of his Aibou. His gaze wavered to the couch and a frown spread across his face. "Damn."
***
Wednesday, 1:04 A.M.
"GOD DAMNIT!" Bakura choked back a scream as he banged his knee against the coffee table. He dropped to the ground, hugging his knee. Oh man, that is gonna hurt in the morning. He froze as he thought about this. What am I talking about? It hurts now!
He slowly got to his feet and felt his way over to the stairs. Jeez, I'll never get to sleep. I'm so used to hearing my Aibou right next to me. This house is too damn quiet!
He slowly ascended the stairs until he felt he was at the top. He reached out until his fingertips touched the wall. He felt his way along until he knew he was right outside of Ryou's door. He paused before going in. I wonder if he's thinking the same thing. Ever so slowly, he opened the door to see Ryou fast asleep. His face fell.
He tiptoed over to the bed and slipped through the covers. He wrapped his arms around his light and sighed, instantly falling asleep. Ryou opened his eyes and peeked over at his Yami. He smiled sadly, and curled up closer to him.
"Good night, Yami."
-----------------
(A/N)
Wow, that ending was almost the same as chapter two. But, I think it turned out okay. It sure is…long. Longer than I expected it to be. Um, okay, so…yeah. Will Ryou and Bakura make up? Wait, I said that in the last chapter…JEEZ. MUST BE CREATIVE. Anyhoo…I don't know. Find out things in the next chapter. Oh, the things you will find out… It's the party! Wee! But no! That is not the last chapter! For I have a little fifth chapter about after the party! But you're not allowed to know that yet! My brain hurts! I should shut up now!
Chapter Four; "Ryou's Ecstasy! Bakura's Proposal?!" (Yeah, I know, it's the name of a Ruroni Kenshin episode…)
Until the future happens (which it often does), LOVE, PEACE, and other such concepts.
(I'm thinking of changing my ending…)