*~* Come close, do not back away,
hold my hand in the dark,
come close, for me to talk to you,
about the things that cannot be held inside anymore.
Take care of me, for I have fallen low, I have fallen low, my sweet eyes, bear with me, take care of me, until I'm on my feet again, just a little bit more, my sweet eyes, bear with me, take care of me.
Come close, hide the world, this world that asks much of me, come close, throw a spark, from my ashes a fire to spring again. ~Nikos Portokaloglou "Na me proseheis" (Kindly suggested and translated by Thecla) *~*
THE FAERIE GOBLET
Chapter 16 ~ "Song of the Heart"
Alede crumbled her piece of bread to little bits instead of eating it.
She'd awakened from her faint a few moments after Legolas had placed her on the bed. He'd carefully brought her a skin of water while all of them watched the silver goblet suspiciously and then he helped her up.
They'd finished reading Radagast's journal, starting with the day Legolas and Gimli had left Rivendell bound for Bree. Elrohir had disappeared that night. At first he hadn't been missed. Everyone had assumed he was with someone else or somewhere else. It was not until the next afternoon that they realized he was truly absent.
Radagast had supposed he'd gone after Legolas and neglected to mention it to anyone. The behavior was unusual for Elrohir, but the prince was certainly capable of being spontaneous.
One of the ladies had disappeared next. Cyrus and Radagast had immediately suspected their Concealing Spells and had carefully gone over their magic. But it was when one of Elrond's former advisors disappeared at the table that they knew what the problem was.
The Elf had been calmly drinking wine when suddenly, he vanished. A goblet had fallen from where his hand had been to spill across the table. It was the goblet from Minas Tirith. The Elf's original goblet sat innocently beside it. No one had seen the silver goblet appear at the table or known how it had gotten in the Elf's hand.
That had been just the beginning. People had started disappearing at an alarming rate after that.
Thinking that perhaps the goblet had turned the luckless Elves into hobgoblins like the Trader that Legolas had encountered, Radagast had sent out search parties. No unusual creatures had been found in the valley.
And half the search party had disappeared.
After that, they took to locking the goblet in a cabinet. But nothing seemed to keep it from getting out on its own. Radagast and Cyrus tried innumerable spells on it. Their magic bounced harmlessly off of it.
Radagast had even begun reading a book in Elrond's library about Green magic. Cyrus had looked on in disgust and shock. Wizards did not soil themselves with primitive village magic. At least that was Cyrus's thinking until seven more people disappeared. Then he appeared with an armload of herbs and a mortar and pestle and offered to help.
The Green magic prepared by the two inexperienced wizards was poorly constructed and feeble. The spells unraveled quickly when faced with the goblet's potent magic.
The journal contained numerous warnings written directly to Alede. Radagast had sent out three messengers, two to Bree and one to warn the ice gathering crew. But he didn't think they'd even escaped the valley before being sucked in by the goblet's magic.
The ring that Radagast wrote about in his final entry was mentioned nowhere else, nor was there any explanation about it.
After reading the journal Alede had jumped up to conduct her own frantic spells. First she tried several to locate her father and when those failed she tried desperately to unlock the secret of the goblet. Many hours later, after conducting their own quiet search, Gimli and Legolas had dragged her away from the goblet. She shut it in a cabinet with the most powerful containment spell she could perform and then sank into exhaustion and misery.
Gimli coaxed both of them to the kitchen late in the evening where he rustled up a variety of hard cheeses and a cask of Dwarvin ale. Legolas brought in an armload of early summer vegetables from the gardens and Alede roused herself enough to prepare a flat bread. They were all hungry from the long day, but in the end Gimli was the only one who ate with appetite, even though he complained of the 'rabbit food' Legolas had brought in.
So Alede sat at the table tearing her bread to bits instead of eating it. In the morning she'd begin going through the books that her father might have looked at. She wanted to start tonight, but even she had to admit that she was too exhausted. She could barely function, let alone think clearly.
A hand suddenly inserted itself in her vision and stilled her restless fingers. Alede looked up into Legolas' eyes, losing herself for a moment in their twilight colored depths.
"You need to eat," he said quietly. "You're pale as snow."
"I'll eat if you do," she said with just a ghost of a smile.
"Good idea," Gimli growled setting a large pot of honey down with a thump at Legolas' elbow.
The Elf chuckled slightly. "Is that a hint, my friend?"
"Yes!"
They both took another piece of the flat bread and poured honey on it. Gimli watched while they ate and grunted with satisfaction when they were done.
"I'm having trouble coming up with a plan . . ." Alede began. "I have such a headache."
"We'll make our plans in the morning, when we've all had some time for rest. Perhaps a clue will present itself by light of day," Legolas said. "I want to investigate Elrohir's rooms a little more. I'll wake you if I find anything."
Alede did not argue. She was so tired and forlorn that she could think of nothing to say. She rose and checked on the goblet before she went to her room, giving it a look of pure hatred before sealing it in the cabinet again.
~ ~ ~
Legolas stayed up into the wee hours of the morning combing through Elrohir's rooms hoping to come up with a clue. It was Elrohir's sword that disturbed him the most. Where ever the Elvin prince was, if he was still alive, he was unarmed and possibly helpless.
Legolas prowled the long corridor to his room, pausing outside of Gimli's door. The dwarf's loud snores reassured him and made him smile.
*At least one of us sleeps well.*
Alede was not asleep. Legolas did not have to hear her fitful song to know that she was still awake. Walking to her door, he heard her muffled sobs.
Knocking softly, he turned the knob and opened the door a crack. "Alede, may I come in?"
"Yes." Alede lay curled on her side in the bed. As she sensed Legolas' soft approach, she pulled a handkerchief out from under her pillow and mopped her face. Legolas sat down on the bed behind her, gently rubbing her shoulder.
"They usually drive me mad this time of year," Alede sniffled.
"Who?"
She gestured toward the open balcony. "In the summer there is usually singing all night long. At least if I am lucky," she smiled wistfully and rolled onto her back, looking up at him, "I can usually sleep through the singing. It is the raucous jokes that keep me awake until dawn."
He smiled and nodded. During his previous visits to Rivendell, he'd been party to many of those all night joke sessions. Elrohir seemed to have an unlimited supply. And raucous was a mild term for them.
"I feel so lost, Legolas," she whispered. "I am so frightened for my father and Cyrus and." she choked on a sob, "I had no idea how much Elrohir meant to me until he was gone. He has been a true friend to me these last many years. Do . . . do you think they are dead?"
"I do not know. I pray that they are not." Legolas took her hand. "I wish that I could guide you, Alede. By the Valar, I wish I could! Perhaps in the morning we will find some clue that we have overlooked." He stroked a lock of hair off of her forehead. "Try to sleep. You are exhausted. If you wish, I will sit and watch over you."
"Just hold me, please . . ." Alede pleaded forlornly.
"Of course." Legolas lay down on his side while Alede shoved the blankets out of the way. He took her into his arms and she pressed her face against his chest. He held her tightly, caressing her back. How long they lay, their songs weaving together a tune of comfort and warmth, Legolas knew not. But after a while, Alede's song changed and his was quick to respond, though a warning sounded in his mind.
Alede reached up, softly stroking his temple. Her fingers moved over the smooth warrior's braid down to the knot. Then they drifted up to his temple again, creating a hypnotic rhythm. For fifteen long years she'd wanted to touch him like this, wanted to feel his arms around her. If he denied her again, she knew her heart would shatter.
Legolas closed his eyes. He should not enjoy her caress, but could not bring himself to stop her. He uttered a ghost of a sigh when Alede drew her hand over his cheekbone, down his jaw line and finally brushed a finger across his lower lip.
Encouraged by his small sound, she ran her fingers across his mouth again, tracing the chiseled bow of his upper lip before using a feather light touch across the fullness of the lower. He was exquisitely beautiful, ultimately perfect. Alede trembled with desire and long suppressed love. He was everything she wanted, everything she admired. Her body ached for him as much as her heart did.
Legolas opened his eyes and caught her hand, holding it to his chest, intending to stop her exploration before he lost himself in her passion darkened eyes. He knew this was not the right time. Her father was missing, she was terrified, and Alede's whole world had been turned upside down.
They also, had much to discuss about their own relationship before they should proceed with it. Legolas was still very uncomfortable using Alede to assuage his own pain. His thoughts vanished though as Alede leaned forward, pressing her mouth to his and catching that full lower lip between hers.
Legolas made a soft sound deep in the back of his throat. He paused for only a moment before returning the kiss. Wrapping both arms around her, he dragged her close, suddenly needing her touch so badly it pushed all caution aside. He nudged her lips apart, delving into her mouth with his tongue, twining with hers in a primitive dance. He nipped gently at her lower lip, eliciting soft little moans from her.
Alede sighed as she felt Legolas' passion as strong as her own. Her senses were alive with him and her heart soared that he let her touch him so. For this moment alone she allowed herself to forget about her father.
*If he allows me to touch his body, then might he also allow me to touch his heart?*
Remembering everything that Betsy had told her, she pushed Legolas onto his back, her legs tangling with his, her shyness momentarily forgotten. Kissing her way down the side of his mouth she made her way to the almost translucent skin of his neck. She teased the hollow of his throat with her tongue and then licked a path up to his ear. She traced the delicate edge of his ear before sucking the sensitive lobe into her mouth.
"Alede, the ears are very . . . ahhhh . . . s-sensitive . . ."
"Are they?" she whispered, enormously pleased.
Legolas moaned as Alede moved to his other ear, sending shivers of pleasure all over his body. Grasping her waist, he pulled her on top of him. His hands slid down to her buttocks, kneading them gently and pulling her closer. Never before had Alede been like this. Never before had her song overtaken his own so completely that all else fled from his mind. The wild passion of her song slipped into his mind just as her tongue slipped into his mouth again.
Alede's mind reeled with joy. She had dreamed of such intimacy with him, but she'd long given up any hope that Legolas shared her yearning. That he touched her with passionate abandon caused shivers of anticipation to race up her spine.
For one brief moment Legolas remembered that he had promised not to take her without giving his love in return. But as Alede wiggled on top of him, his thoughts gave way to the heat of passion and he worked her nightdress up to her waist. Once he had her partially bared, he slid his hands across the smooth curves, delving his long fingers between her legs.
Alede moaned into his mouth as Legolas caressed her. Releasing the pleasure of his mouth, she pushed herself up. She knew that it was finally time to give herself to him. Her heart pounding with both passion and nervousness, she pulled her nightdress off over her head and let it fall to the floor.
A cool breeze wafted across her skin, causing her to shiver. She hadn't deliberately bared herself to anyone for literally centuries and Alede realized with a pang of self-consciousness, that Legolas might find her lacking. Elvin women were incredibly beautiful and very lithe. Alede's figure tended to be curvy, though she thought with rather desperate hope that her waist was possibly as small as an elf's.
But as she glanced down shyly at Legolas, he must have read her fear, for he whispered her name with such reverence that Alede relaxed just a little.
"You are like the sun," he said softly, brushing his hands across her and causing goose bumps to prickle her skin, "all gold and rose colored and as open as the day."
"And you are like the moon," she replied shakily, "silvery and mysterious and hauntingly beautiful."
Forcing herself to be bold, she reached down and slowly undid the lacings of his jerkin. Then she dragged her fingernails gently down his chest to his belly, causing his muscles to flutter.
Legolas pulled her down and playfully rolled her onto the mattress, leaning over her and capturing her mouth for a moment before shrugging off the jerkin. Then he began kissing the side of her face, moving down to the curve of her throat. He nipped gently at her ribs and her waist, finding ticklish spots that Alede had never known existed. His tongue traced whirls over her belly, causing her to shudder and squirm beneath his touch.
He built her passion slowly, teasingly, touching her everywhere except where she wanted him too. She was nearly mad with need by the time his mouth found her aching breasts and she arched up against him crying out. As she gave in to his magic, Alede realized that the clumsy groping of her village sweetheart had in no way prepared her for the skilled prince who touched her now.
Shaking, as passion overtook her, she clung to him; afraid she would drown in the emotions and sensations that tumbled within her.
"I love you, I love you," Alede whispered urgently. "Please, make love to me. Make me yours."
Legolas froze at the sound of her words. 'Make me yours'
By the Valar, what am I doing? he chastised himself. *I promised her! We have not yet spoken of the future!* He had let his senses drown in her song, in her passion. She'd nearly silenced the call of the sea and he'd reveled in his freedom from it.
*I will not use her as a crutch for my soul!* How could he live with himself if he treated her so callously? Her heart was as fragile as his own.
Pulling back from her, he said as gently as he could, "Alede, this is not right."
She opened her eyes in astonishment. "Not right? But . . ."
"We have not yet decided our future and I promised I would not make love to you if I could not give myself to you fully. I will not use you in this way. It is not fair to you."
She gaped at him. Pushing away from him abruptly, she sat up and clutched the bed linens to her breasts in confusion and humiliation. "How do you know what is fair to me and what is not?" she asked bitterly.
"Alede, I promised," he sat up to face her, his voice heavy with regret and unspent passion.
"Perhaps this is why your people diminish," she snapped, hurt making her words bitter. "Perhaps the Elves have lost their passion and can no longer increase their numbers!"
"That is unfair and untrue," he said, his voice thick with bitterness and anger. "Do not lash out at me when I am trying not to hurt you."
"You have already hurt me!" she spat.
Her words stung as sharply as a slap and he flinched, closing his eyes.
"I am sorry Legolas," her tone softened at the guilty expression on his face. "But can I have no part of you? I used to think you simply did not desire me, but now . . ." she paused shaking her head. His passion a few moments before could not be denied.
"Is it because I am not Elvin?" she asked, still afraid that she was unworthy somehow.
"Alede," he said in frustration, "we have had this conversation before. I thought you understood why I would not take you as a lover. I thought you understood why I will not use you. It is not a joke that you can force your song upon me . . ."
"I am trying to heal you! I do not jest or try to 'force' it on you! Not in the manner that you mean!"
He pulled her tightly against him. "Ahh, curse this . . . I accuse you of nothing wrong! But give me the credit that I deserve! I care about you enough that I would not use you as a tool to ease my own burden . . ."
"But I could help you carry that burden!"
"Nay, you can not!" he said. "Do you not remember what you said when Unilyn died? You said that she had to fight her own demons, just as I had done. And you were right! If I took you now it would only be to ease my yearning for the sea. When I am with you, I cannot hear it for your song and the relief is tremendous . . . If I made love to you, it would ease my suffering even more. I could find bliss in your embrace. . . But Alede," and he shook her shoulder just a tiny bit, "I have nothing to give in return . . . My heart is not strong enough to return your love . . . I am sorry that it is so, but there is nothing I can do about it right now. . . " He shook his head. " I will not use you so cruelly!"
"But there is a difference between being used and offering help willingly! And your heart can regain its strength with my help! All you need is for the call of the sea to be blocked and then you may return to that which you truly are . . ."
Legolas shook his head wearily. "You offer too much. This is my own problem, which I must solve as I may."
"But you are not solving it," she said urgently. "You can not solve it. Not one of your kind has ever solved it, only given in to it. And because you do not give into it, it wears at you!" She let her gaze sweep over him, her voice softening with concern. "I have never seen an Elf ill, besides your father. But you have all the symptoms of illness."
Legolas looked startled and she continued.
"You have lost too much weight. Your muscles are as strong as ever," she slid a hand over a rock hard bicep, "yet your ribs are showing. And there is gauntness about your face that was not there before. You are not happy and it has taken a toll on your body."
"But happiness is mine to find as well . . ."
"Answer me this, Legolas," Alede said urgently. She felt that she was finally getting close to the real problem. "When you think of me . . . when you think of loving me or not loving me, what is your worst fear?"
"That I would drive you away from me . . ." Legolas answered after a few moments and his voice was so low that she barely heard it. "That I would damage you beyond endurance."
"But how?"
He turned and sat back against the headboard, staring out at the night and avoiding Alede's worried gaze. "I have seen so much cruelty, Alede. There are times when I feel that I have been tainted by it." He gave a sigh. "If it were not for the call of the sea, I think I could move past it. But I am not myself. I have lost so much of my willpower . . . I can no longer trust myself as I once did . . . Can you know what that is like, Alede? I am nearly 3,000 years old, yet there are times when I feel a stranger in my own skin." He reached over and touched Alede's cheek with gentle fingers. "What might I do to you if I can not trust myself?"
Alede furrowed her brow. "Do you fear that you might cause me harm? I know that many warriors have trouble controlling their anger, their instinct for violence. But you do not seem . . ."
"Nay," he shook his head, "I do not fear that I might strike you. I would never do that . . . It is my emotions that I cannot control. There are times when the sea longing so completely overtakes me that I am helpless against it. It threatens my very sanity and there are many of my kind who have gone mad from it. When the sea sinks its teeth into me I can barely stand to live with myself. How would it be for you? I would be a stranger to you as well." He shook his head again. "I might hurt you so badly that it would drive you away from me or . . . " he paused fearfully, "or you might die of the grief I caused you."
Alede was silent for a moment. "So instead you push me away now, before it is too late. You refuse to take the risk. . . " she said thoughtfully. He nodded sadly, his eyes never leaving hers. Alede thought she was beginning to understand and saw that which Legolas did not see himself.
"If I give you my song fully, as I did when we were in Mirkwood, you said that it blocks the call of the sea completely, correct?" she asked finally.
"Yes, but I will not use you to assuage my pain. You are not a tool! Do you think I have no more respect for you than that?"
She smiled despite his angry words. "Nay, I think you have great respect for me. So much so that you forget that all relationships, whether they be that of friends or that of lovers, give and take of each other."
"But I would take more than I could give," he said sullenly.
"Legolas!" Alede cried. Could he truly be this blind? A smile began to tug at the corner of her lips. "Even now you give of yourself and you do not see it. Do you not realize that your very presence is a gift to me?"
"Tis not enough. I would be whole before I came to you . . ."
"When two people are in love, they help each other," she interrupted, but Legolas shook his head and started to protest.
Alede cut him off. "No, please, hear me out," she said, taking a moment to collect her thoughts. "I know that this is not your normal state. I know that you hate the loss of independence that the sea longing has caused. And I know that you hate 'needing', that it is alien to your personality. But Legolas," she turned and cupped the side of his face with her hand, "I know also that this is temporary! This is an affliction not of your choosing! It will pass someday and you will return to your normal state. Can I not help you until that day?"
She watched as Legolas lowered his gaze and sighed.
"I understand your desire to stay in Middle Earth," she continued. "And I remember what you once told me. You said that if you allowed yourself to feel too much that it would break you. You are Silvan and therefore carry a great burden that is already tearing you apart." She paused and ran gentle fingers over his ribs. When she raised her eyes and met his gaze once again, Legolas was astonished by the depth of emotion he saw in them. "Can I not help you to find some happiness Legolas, some contentment until you pass over to the West? Will you not trust me with that?"
He looked at her in wonder. "Trust you? How can you trust me? How can you know if it is affection I give you, or if I am merely using you to block the torment of the sea? How can you know that I will not cast you aside once I no longer need you?"
Alede shook her head and smiled. "Legolas, listen to yourself! Look at your actions!" She grasped his arm urgently. "Your constant worry tells me how you truly feel about me, though I was blind to it until now. Alright, I agree," she said cutting off his protest again, "that anyone else in your situation might be initially concerned for my well fair. But I think that any other Elf would accept my offer anyway, assuming that any detriment to me could be overcome.
"But not you," she continued. "You have done the opposite. You have gone to great lengths to 'protect' me from yourself, to protect me from the 'poison' of the sea longing and all at great cost to yourself. You have sacrificed yourself to ensure my well-being! And in your suffering, you do not realize that if you no longer heard the call of the sea, your heart would be free to love me! Legolas . . . " she paused and stroked the side of his face tenderly, "there is only one source that gives the strength of will for this kind of self-sacrifice. . . and that is love."
He opened his mouth, trying to answer her. But in his heart he knew she was correct.
It is myself that I am afraid of, Legolas thought. *The sea has made me doubt myself. But I need not be led astray by its siren's song. For Alede is right and I know the truth of my own heart. I have known it for a long time but denied it. I have feared to trust myself with one as precious as her.*
"The sea longing can not touch me, Legolas," Alede slipped her hand into his and her voice held that tone of fierce comfort that he had come to know while recovering in the Misty Mountains. "I can fight it," she continued, "as you cannot. I am strong and my love for you is even stronger. I would block the call of the sea for you, even if you offered me nothing in return. But if you do love me," she said, her eyes shining with emotion, "then your love is more reward than I could ever dream of . . . You need not fear for me, nor for yourself. I will love you despite the poison you carry and together we will defeat it."
That too was the truth and he finally knew it.
"Melui . . ." and he bent his head and kissed her hard, gathering her into a crushing embrace. Tumbling on the bed and scattering pillows, Legolas pulled himself on top of her, capturing her between his arms.
Alede kissed him joyfully and released her song fully. It filled his mind like sunlight, shattering the hold of the sea like ice crystals breaking apart beneath the sun. He felt a tremendous weight lift from his shoulders. Breaking their kiss, he hesitantly released his own, which he had held in check until now, and heard Alede gasp as she discovered all the fragmented pieces in his song. Pressing her hands to the sides of his face she began filling in the missing notes with her own.
Legolas sighed as the last vestiges of the sea's call disappeared completely. He felt whole now, even more whole than in the past few days. The guilt he had carried for so long vanished as well, as Alede's joy fill his mind. With the sea longing gone, he knew that he would not hurt her and in turn, his own joy filled her.
*I am myself again. I need not fear for either of us and I am free to love her.*
They remained motionless, basking in the warmth of their completeness. Blindly, Legolas found her mouth again, kissing her with such tenderness that tears of joy slipped down Alede's face.
Her fingers slid through his hair and when he broke the kiss to gaze down at her for a moment, she smiled up at him. He felt a grin tugging at his own lips. "You have been right all along, haven't you? And I have a feeling that you will never allow me to forget it," he said with a soft laugh. "Would you like to say 'I told you so' now and get it out of the way?"
She laughed and shook her head, dashing the tears from her face, her eyes twinkling with happiness. "Nay, I will save it for later. Right now, I just want you to make love to me."
"Mmm."
He gathered her in again, pressing against her warm body. Alede's fingers struggled between them, working at the lacings of his breeches and Legolas rolled quite willingly to the side to give her better access. But before he could kiss her again, they both jumped at the chilling sound of an old woman's cackle echoing down the corridor outside.
"Who." Alede began, completely puzzled.
She was interrupted by a Dwarvin howl of outrage and the crash of furniture.
~ ~ ~
A/N: An old woman's cackle? What's going on here?! Find out what's troubling Gimli in Chapter 17 "The Hag". For those of you who are NOT romance fans, fear not! We're returning to the adventure here very quickly! :)
Thanks to Luineturiel for 'acquainting' me with the 'sensitivity' of Elvin ears. If you'd like to learn more about it yourself, visit her beautiful story, "A Spark in the Dark".
Thanks also, to Gildor, Thecla and Nadia for the Sindarin translation. Which is btw: Melui= ever love (beloved)
And extra special thanks to Thecla who not only beta read and co-authored this chapter, she also slayed the Belrog that was lurking behind virtually every sentence! This was a tough one!
Take care of me, for I have fallen low, I have fallen low, my sweet eyes, bear with me, take care of me, until I'm on my feet again, just a little bit more, my sweet eyes, bear with me, take care of me.
Come close, hide the world, this world that asks much of me, come close, throw a spark, from my ashes a fire to spring again. ~Nikos Portokaloglou "Na me proseheis" (Kindly suggested and translated by Thecla) *~*
THE FAERIE GOBLET
Chapter 16 ~ "Song of the Heart"
Alede crumbled her piece of bread to little bits instead of eating it.
She'd awakened from her faint a few moments after Legolas had placed her on the bed. He'd carefully brought her a skin of water while all of them watched the silver goblet suspiciously and then he helped her up.
They'd finished reading Radagast's journal, starting with the day Legolas and Gimli had left Rivendell bound for Bree. Elrohir had disappeared that night. At first he hadn't been missed. Everyone had assumed he was with someone else or somewhere else. It was not until the next afternoon that they realized he was truly absent.
Radagast had supposed he'd gone after Legolas and neglected to mention it to anyone. The behavior was unusual for Elrohir, but the prince was certainly capable of being spontaneous.
One of the ladies had disappeared next. Cyrus and Radagast had immediately suspected their Concealing Spells and had carefully gone over their magic. But it was when one of Elrond's former advisors disappeared at the table that they knew what the problem was.
The Elf had been calmly drinking wine when suddenly, he vanished. A goblet had fallen from where his hand had been to spill across the table. It was the goblet from Minas Tirith. The Elf's original goblet sat innocently beside it. No one had seen the silver goblet appear at the table or known how it had gotten in the Elf's hand.
That had been just the beginning. People had started disappearing at an alarming rate after that.
Thinking that perhaps the goblet had turned the luckless Elves into hobgoblins like the Trader that Legolas had encountered, Radagast had sent out search parties. No unusual creatures had been found in the valley.
And half the search party had disappeared.
After that, they took to locking the goblet in a cabinet. But nothing seemed to keep it from getting out on its own. Radagast and Cyrus tried innumerable spells on it. Their magic bounced harmlessly off of it.
Radagast had even begun reading a book in Elrond's library about Green magic. Cyrus had looked on in disgust and shock. Wizards did not soil themselves with primitive village magic. At least that was Cyrus's thinking until seven more people disappeared. Then he appeared with an armload of herbs and a mortar and pestle and offered to help.
The Green magic prepared by the two inexperienced wizards was poorly constructed and feeble. The spells unraveled quickly when faced with the goblet's potent magic.
The journal contained numerous warnings written directly to Alede. Radagast had sent out three messengers, two to Bree and one to warn the ice gathering crew. But he didn't think they'd even escaped the valley before being sucked in by the goblet's magic.
The ring that Radagast wrote about in his final entry was mentioned nowhere else, nor was there any explanation about it.
After reading the journal Alede had jumped up to conduct her own frantic spells. First she tried several to locate her father and when those failed she tried desperately to unlock the secret of the goblet. Many hours later, after conducting their own quiet search, Gimli and Legolas had dragged her away from the goblet. She shut it in a cabinet with the most powerful containment spell she could perform and then sank into exhaustion and misery.
Gimli coaxed both of them to the kitchen late in the evening where he rustled up a variety of hard cheeses and a cask of Dwarvin ale. Legolas brought in an armload of early summer vegetables from the gardens and Alede roused herself enough to prepare a flat bread. They were all hungry from the long day, but in the end Gimli was the only one who ate with appetite, even though he complained of the 'rabbit food' Legolas had brought in.
So Alede sat at the table tearing her bread to bits instead of eating it. In the morning she'd begin going through the books that her father might have looked at. She wanted to start tonight, but even she had to admit that she was too exhausted. She could barely function, let alone think clearly.
A hand suddenly inserted itself in her vision and stilled her restless fingers. Alede looked up into Legolas' eyes, losing herself for a moment in their twilight colored depths.
"You need to eat," he said quietly. "You're pale as snow."
"I'll eat if you do," she said with just a ghost of a smile.
"Good idea," Gimli growled setting a large pot of honey down with a thump at Legolas' elbow.
The Elf chuckled slightly. "Is that a hint, my friend?"
"Yes!"
They both took another piece of the flat bread and poured honey on it. Gimli watched while they ate and grunted with satisfaction when they were done.
"I'm having trouble coming up with a plan . . ." Alede began. "I have such a headache."
"We'll make our plans in the morning, when we've all had some time for rest. Perhaps a clue will present itself by light of day," Legolas said. "I want to investigate Elrohir's rooms a little more. I'll wake you if I find anything."
Alede did not argue. She was so tired and forlorn that she could think of nothing to say. She rose and checked on the goblet before she went to her room, giving it a look of pure hatred before sealing it in the cabinet again.
~ ~ ~
Legolas stayed up into the wee hours of the morning combing through Elrohir's rooms hoping to come up with a clue. It was Elrohir's sword that disturbed him the most. Where ever the Elvin prince was, if he was still alive, he was unarmed and possibly helpless.
Legolas prowled the long corridor to his room, pausing outside of Gimli's door. The dwarf's loud snores reassured him and made him smile.
*At least one of us sleeps well.*
Alede was not asleep. Legolas did not have to hear her fitful song to know that she was still awake. Walking to her door, he heard her muffled sobs.
Knocking softly, he turned the knob and opened the door a crack. "Alede, may I come in?"
"Yes." Alede lay curled on her side in the bed. As she sensed Legolas' soft approach, she pulled a handkerchief out from under her pillow and mopped her face. Legolas sat down on the bed behind her, gently rubbing her shoulder.
"They usually drive me mad this time of year," Alede sniffled.
"Who?"
She gestured toward the open balcony. "In the summer there is usually singing all night long. At least if I am lucky," she smiled wistfully and rolled onto her back, looking up at him, "I can usually sleep through the singing. It is the raucous jokes that keep me awake until dawn."
He smiled and nodded. During his previous visits to Rivendell, he'd been party to many of those all night joke sessions. Elrohir seemed to have an unlimited supply. And raucous was a mild term for them.
"I feel so lost, Legolas," she whispered. "I am so frightened for my father and Cyrus and." she choked on a sob, "I had no idea how much Elrohir meant to me until he was gone. He has been a true friend to me these last many years. Do . . . do you think they are dead?"
"I do not know. I pray that they are not." Legolas took her hand. "I wish that I could guide you, Alede. By the Valar, I wish I could! Perhaps in the morning we will find some clue that we have overlooked." He stroked a lock of hair off of her forehead. "Try to sleep. You are exhausted. If you wish, I will sit and watch over you."
"Just hold me, please . . ." Alede pleaded forlornly.
"Of course." Legolas lay down on his side while Alede shoved the blankets out of the way. He took her into his arms and she pressed her face against his chest. He held her tightly, caressing her back. How long they lay, their songs weaving together a tune of comfort and warmth, Legolas knew not. But after a while, Alede's song changed and his was quick to respond, though a warning sounded in his mind.
Alede reached up, softly stroking his temple. Her fingers moved over the smooth warrior's braid down to the knot. Then they drifted up to his temple again, creating a hypnotic rhythm. For fifteen long years she'd wanted to touch him like this, wanted to feel his arms around her. If he denied her again, she knew her heart would shatter.
Legolas closed his eyes. He should not enjoy her caress, but could not bring himself to stop her. He uttered a ghost of a sigh when Alede drew her hand over his cheekbone, down his jaw line and finally brushed a finger across his lower lip.
Encouraged by his small sound, she ran her fingers across his mouth again, tracing the chiseled bow of his upper lip before using a feather light touch across the fullness of the lower. He was exquisitely beautiful, ultimately perfect. Alede trembled with desire and long suppressed love. He was everything she wanted, everything she admired. Her body ached for him as much as her heart did.
Legolas opened his eyes and caught her hand, holding it to his chest, intending to stop her exploration before he lost himself in her passion darkened eyes. He knew this was not the right time. Her father was missing, she was terrified, and Alede's whole world had been turned upside down.
They also, had much to discuss about their own relationship before they should proceed with it. Legolas was still very uncomfortable using Alede to assuage his own pain. His thoughts vanished though as Alede leaned forward, pressing her mouth to his and catching that full lower lip between hers.
Legolas made a soft sound deep in the back of his throat. He paused for only a moment before returning the kiss. Wrapping both arms around her, he dragged her close, suddenly needing her touch so badly it pushed all caution aside. He nudged her lips apart, delving into her mouth with his tongue, twining with hers in a primitive dance. He nipped gently at her lower lip, eliciting soft little moans from her.
Alede sighed as she felt Legolas' passion as strong as her own. Her senses were alive with him and her heart soared that he let her touch him so. For this moment alone she allowed herself to forget about her father.
*If he allows me to touch his body, then might he also allow me to touch his heart?*
Remembering everything that Betsy had told her, she pushed Legolas onto his back, her legs tangling with his, her shyness momentarily forgotten. Kissing her way down the side of his mouth she made her way to the almost translucent skin of his neck. She teased the hollow of his throat with her tongue and then licked a path up to his ear. She traced the delicate edge of his ear before sucking the sensitive lobe into her mouth.
"Alede, the ears are very . . . ahhhh . . . s-sensitive . . ."
"Are they?" she whispered, enormously pleased.
Legolas moaned as Alede moved to his other ear, sending shivers of pleasure all over his body. Grasping her waist, he pulled her on top of him. His hands slid down to her buttocks, kneading them gently and pulling her closer. Never before had Alede been like this. Never before had her song overtaken his own so completely that all else fled from his mind. The wild passion of her song slipped into his mind just as her tongue slipped into his mouth again.
Alede's mind reeled with joy. She had dreamed of such intimacy with him, but she'd long given up any hope that Legolas shared her yearning. That he touched her with passionate abandon caused shivers of anticipation to race up her spine.
For one brief moment Legolas remembered that he had promised not to take her without giving his love in return. But as Alede wiggled on top of him, his thoughts gave way to the heat of passion and he worked her nightdress up to her waist. Once he had her partially bared, he slid his hands across the smooth curves, delving his long fingers between her legs.
Alede moaned into his mouth as Legolas caressed her. Releasing the pleasure of his mouth, she pushed herself up. She knew that it was finally time to give herself to him. Her heart pounding with both passion and nervousness, she pulled her nightdress off over her head and let it fall to the floor.
A cool breeze wafted across her skin, causing her to shiver. She hadn't deliberately bared herself to anyone for literally centuries and Alede realized with a pang of self-consciousness, that Legolas might find her lacking. Elvin women were incredibly beautiful and very lithe. Alede's figure tended to be curvy, though she thought with rather desperate hope that her waist was possibly as small as an elf's.
But as she glanced down shyly at Legolas, he must have read her fear, for he whispered her name with such reverence that Alede relaxed just a little.
"You are like the sun," he said softly, brushing his hands across her and causing goose bumps to prickle her skin, "all gold and rose colored and as open as the day."
"And you are like the moon," she replied shakily, "silvery and mysterious and hauntingly beautiful."
Forcing herself to be bold, she reached down and slowly undid the lacings of his jerkin. Then she dragged her fingernails gently down his chest to his belly, causing his muscles to flutter.
Legolas pulled her down and playfully rolled her onto the mattress, leaning over her and capturing her mouth for a moment before shrugging off the jerkin. Then he began kissing the side of her face, moving down to the curve of her throat. He nipped gently at her ribs and her waist, finding ticklish spots that Alede had never known existed. His tongue traced whirls over her belly, causing her to shudder and squirm beneath his touch.
He built her passion slowly, teasingly, touching her everywhere except where she wanted him too. She was nearly mad with need by the time his mouth found her aching breasts and she arched up against him crying out. As she gave in to his magic, Alede realized that the clumsy groping of her village sweetheart had in no way prepared her for the skilled prince who touched her now.
Shaking, as passion overtook her, she clung to him; afraid she would drown in the emotions and sensations that tumbled within her.
"I love you, I love you," Alede whispered urgently. "Please, make love to me. Make me yours."
Legolas froze at the sound of her words. 'Make me yours'
By the Valar, what am I doing? he chastised himself. *I promised her! We have not yet spoken of the future!* He had let his senses drown in her song, in her passion. She'd nearly silenced the call of the sea and he'd reveled in his freedom from it.
*I will not use her as a crutch for my soul!* How could he live with himself if he treated her so callously? Her heart was as fragile as his own.
Pulling back from her, he said as gently as he could, "Alede, this is not right."
She opened her eyes in astonishment. "Not right? But . . ."
"We have not yet decided our future and I promised I would not make love to you if I could not give myself to you fully. I will not use you in this way. It is not fair to you."
She gaped at him. Pushing away from him abruptly, she sat up and clutched the bed linens to her breasts in confusion and humiliation. "How do you know what is fair to me and what is not?" she asked bitterly.
"Alede, I promised," he sat up to face her, his voice heavy with regret and unspent passion.
"Perhaps this is why your people diminish," she snapped, hurt making her words bitter. "Perhaps the Elves have lost their passion and can no longer increase their numbers!"
"That is unfair and untrue," he said, his voice thick with bitterness and anger. "Do not lash out at me when I am trying not to hurt you."
"You have already hurt me!" she spat.
Her words stung as sharply as a slap and he flinched, closing his eyes.
"I am sorry Legolas," her tone softened at the guilty expression on his face. "But can I have no part of you? I used to think you simply did not desire me, but now . . ." she paused shaking her head. His passion a few moments before could not be denied.
"Is it because I am not Elvin?" she asked, still afraid that she was unworthy somehow.
"Alede," he said in frustration, "we have had this conversation before. I thought you understood why I would not take you as a lover. I thought you understood why I will not use you. It is not a joke that you can force your song upon me . . ."
"I am trying to heal you! I do not jest or try to 'force' it on you! Not in the manner that you mean!"
He pulled her tightly against him. "Ahh, curse this . . . I accuse you of nothing wrong! But give me the credit that I deserve! I care about you enough that I would not use you as a tool to ease my own burden . . ."
"But I could help you carry that burden!"
"Nay, you can not!" he said. "Do you not remember what you said when Unilyn died? You said that she had to fight her own demons, just as I had done. And you were right! If I took you now it would only be to ease my yearning for the sea. When I am with you, I cannot hear it for your song and the relief is tremendous . . . If I made love to you, it would ease my suffering even more. I could find bliss in your embrace. . . But Alede," and he shook her shoulder just a tiny bit, "I have nothing to give in return . . . My heart is not strong enough to return your love . . . I am sorry that it is so, but there is nothing I can do about it right now. . . " He shook his head. " I will not use you so cruelly!"
"But there is a difference between being used and offering help willingly! And your heart can regain its strength with my help! All you need is for the call of the sea to be blocked and then you may return to that which you truly are . . ."
Legolas shook his head wearily. "You offer too much. This is my own problem, which I must solve as I may."
"But you are not solving it," she said urgently. "You can not solve it. Not one of your kind has ever solved it, only given in to it. And because you do not give into it, it wears at you!" She let her gaze sweep over him, her voice softening with concern. "I have never seen an Elf ill, besides your father. But you have all the symptoms of illness."
Legolas looked startled and she continued.
"You have lost too much weight. Your muscles are as strong as ever," she slid a hand over a rock hard bicep, "yet your ribs are showing. And there is gauntness about your face that was not there before. You are not happy and it has taken a toll on your body."
"But happiness is mine to find as well . . ."
"Answer me this, Legolas," Alede said urgently. She felt that she was finally getting close to the real problem. "When you think of me . . . when you think of loving me or not loving me, what is your worst fear?"
"That I would drive you away from me . . ." Legolas answered after a few moments and his voice was so low that she barely heard it. "That I would damage you beyond endurance."
"But how?"
He turned and sat back against the headboard, staring out at the night and avoiding Alede's worried gaze. "I have seen so much cruelty, Alede. There are times when I feel that I have been tainted by it." He gave a sigh. "If it were not for the call of the sea, I think I could move past it. But I am not myself. I have lost so much of my willpower . . . I can no longer trust myself as I once did . . . Can you know what that is like, Alede? I am nearly 3,000 years old, yet there are times when I feel a stranger in my own skin." He reached over and touched Alede's cheek with gentle fingers. "What might I do to you if I can not trust myself?"
Alede furrowed her brow. "Do you fear that you might cause me harm? I know that many warriors have trouble controlling their anger, their instinct for violence. But you do not seem . . ."
"Nay," he shook his head, "I do not fear that I might strike you. I would never do that . . . It is my emotions that I cannot control. There are times when the sea longing so completely overtakes me that I am helpless against it. It threatens my very sanity and there are many of my kind who have gone mad from it. When the sea sinks its teeth into me I can barely stand to live with myself. How would it be for you? I would be a stranger to you as well." He shook his head again. "I might hurt you so badly that it would drive you away from me or . . . " he paused fearfully, "or you might die of the grief I caused you."
Alede was silent for a moment. "So instead you push me away now, before it is too late. You refuse to take the risk. . . " she said thoughtfully. He nodded sadly, his eyes never leaving hers. Alede thought she was beginning to understand and saw that which Legolas did not see himself.
"If I give you my song fully, as I did when we were in Mirkwood, you said that it blocks the call of the sea completely, correct?" she asked finally.
"Yes, but I will not use you to assuage my pain. You are not a tool! Do you think I have no more respect for you than that?"
She smiled despite his angry words. "Nay, I think you have great respect for me. So much so that you forget that all relationships, whether they be that of friends or that of lovers, give and take of each other."
"But I would take more than I could give," he said sullenly.
"Legolas!" Alede cried. Could he truly be this blind? A smile began to tug at the corner of her lips. "Even now you give of yourself and you do not see it. Do you not realize that your very presence is a gift to me?"
"Tis not enough. I would be whole before I came to you . . ."
"When two people are in love, they help each other," she interrupted, but Legolas shook his head and started to protest.
Alede cut him off. "No, please, hear me out," she said, taking a moment to collect her thoughts. "I know that this is not your normal state. I know that you hate the loss of independence that the sea longing has caused. And I know that you hate 'needing', that it is alien to your personality. But Legolas," she turned and cupped the side of his face with her hand, "I know also that this is temporary! This is an affliction not of your choosing! It will pass someday and you will return to your normal state. Can I not help you until that day?"
She watched as Legolas lowered his gaze and sighed.
"I understand your desire to stay in Middle Earth," she continued. "And I remember what you once told me. You said that if you allowed yourself to feel too much that it would break you. You are Silvan and therefore carry a great burden that is already tearing you apart." She paused and ran gentle fingers over his ribs. When she raised her eyes and met his gaze once again, Legolas was astonished by the depth of emotion he saw in them. "Can I not help you to find some happiness Legolas, some contentment until you pass over to the West? Will you not trust me with that?"
He looked at her in wonder. "Trust you? How can you trust me? How can you know if it is affection I give you, or if I am merely using you to block the torment of the sea? How can you know that I will not cast you aside once I no longer need you?"
Alede shook her head and smiled. "Legolas, listen to yourself! Look at your actions!" She grasped his arm urgently. "Your constant worry tells me how you truly feel about me, though I was blind to it until now. Alright, I agree," she said cutting off his protest again, "that anyone else in your situation might be initially concerned for my well fair. But I think that any other Elf would accept my offer anyway, assuming that any detriment to me could be overcome.
"But not you," she continued. "You have done the opposite. You have gone to great lengths to 'protect' me from yourself, to protect me from the 'poison' of the sea longing and all at great cost to yourself. You have sacrificed yourself to ensure my well-being! And in your suffering, you do not realize that if you no longer heard the call of the sea, your heart would be free to love me! Legolas . . . " she paused and stroked the side of his face tenderly, "there is only one source that gives the strength of will for this kind of self-sacrifice. . . and that is love."
He opened his mouth, trying to answer her. But in his heart he knew she was correct.
It is myself that I am afraid of, Legolas thought. *The sea has made me doubt myself. But I need not be led astray by its siren's song. For Alede is right and I know the truth of my own heart. I have known it for a long time but denied it. I have feared to trust myself with one as precious as her.*
"The sea longing can not touch me, Legolas," Alede slipped her hand into his and her voice held that tone of fierce comfort that he had come to know while recovering in the Misty Mountains. "I can fight it," she continued, "as you cannot. I am strong and my love for you is even stronger. I would block the call of the sea for you, even if you offered me nothing in return. But if you do love me," she said, her eyes shining with emotion, "then your love is more reward than I could ever dream of . . . You need not fear for me, nor for yourself. I will love you despite the poison you carry and together we will defeat it."
That too was the truth and he finally knew it.
"Melui . . ." and he bent his head and kissed her hard, gathering her into a crushing embrace. Tumbling on the bed and scattering pillows, Legolas pulled himself on top of her, capturing her between his arms.
Alede kissed him joyfully and released her song fully. It filled his mind like sunlight, shattering the hold of the sea like ice crystals breaking apart beneath the sun. He felt a tremendous weight lift from his shoulders. Breaking their kiss, he hesitantly released his own, which he had held in check until now, and heard Alede gasp as she discovered all the fragmented pieces in his song. Pressing her hands to the sides of his face she began filling in the missing notes with her own.
Legolas sighed as the last vestiges of the sea's call disappeared completely. He felt whole now, even more whole than in the past few days. The guilt he had carried for so long vanished as well, as Alede's joy fill his mind. With the sea longing gone, he knew that he would not hurt her and in turn, his own joy filled her.
*I am myself again. I need not fear for either of us and I am free to love her.*
They remained motionless, basking in the warmth of their completeness. Blindly, Legolas found her mouth again, kissing her with such tenderness that tears of joy slipped down Alede's face.
Her fingers slid through his hair and when he broke the kiss to gaze down at her for a moment, she smiled up at him. He felt a grin tugging at his own lips. "You have been right all along, haven't you? And I have a feeling that you will never allow me to forget it," he said with a soft laugh. "Would you like to say 'I told you so' now and get it out of the way?"
She laughed and shook her head, dashing the tears from her face, her eyes twinkling with happiness. "Nay, I will save it for later. Right now, I just want you to make love to me."
"Mmm."
He gathered her in again, pressing against her warm body. Alede's fingers struggled between them, working at the lacings of his breeches and Legolas rolled quite willingly to the side to give her better access. But before he could kiss her again, they both jumped at the chilling sound of an old woman's cackle echoing down the corridor outside.
"Who." Alede began, completely puzzled.
She was interrupted by a Dwarvin howl of outrage and the crash of furniture.
~ ~ ~
A/N: An old woman's cackle? What's going on here?! Find out what's troubling Gimli in Chapter 17 "The Hag". For those of you who are NOT romance fans, fear not! We're returning to the adventure here very quickly! :)
Thanks to Luineturiel for 'acquainting' me with the 'sensitivity' of Elvin ears. If you'd like to learn more about it yourself, visit her beautiful story, "A Spark in the Dark".
Thanks also, to Gildor, Thecla and Nadia for the Sindarin translation. Which is btw: Melui= ever love (beloved)
And extra special thanks to Thecla who not only beta read and co-authored this chapter, she also slayed the Belrog that was lurking behind virtually every sentence! This was a tough one!