Chapter 3:
Death and the Wild Horse
If time were a river Akane would be lost somewhere among the reeds and long grasses along its banks. As it was, she simply wasn't sure just how long it had been since she saw real sunlight. She had been pulled into the monotony of dreary beige walls, faded comforters, flickering lamplight. Much like a twig in a whirlpool. In the middle of a river.
Day and night became one. There was no past, there was no future. Only the present, like an enormous mass all around her. Stifling, dull, a wash of bland, faded grays and earth tones. And in that mass, a ghost of brilliant color only seen in her peripheral vision, was Ranma.
It was impossible to tell how often they met. How often they spoke. He was the only difference in each day, what she guessed was a day. Maybe she should have been grateful. She didn't think she could be. Not when his very presence grated on her nerves, sent her control flying like so many bullets. And the worst part was… she enjoyed it.
Control was beyond her now. Something distant, unnoticed and unmissed. A forgotten memory.
Without it, she had found it was easier. To play the game. His game. Ranma's game. A game of careful words, skirting and dancing around meaning without actually touching it. Like a child's game of tag. Each of them trying to open the other without opening themselves. It was a challenge; how long could they stay strangers?
'Do you need anything?'
He would ask sometimes. She would answer without looking his way. Less personal. As if his face were a nametag, there but not meant to be read.
'Maybe. But don't you?'
This question had received a variety of answers.
'You don't need to ask.'
Was the most frequent. She didn't know what that meant. Or maybe she did, but never let herself think about it. She had plenty of time to think.
During the game time moved faster, as if she were spinning and the world moved fast to her eyes only. A blur of shapes and colors. The game was never-ending, but the intervals between playing time were dull, sluggish lulls. Time slowed and the world was one color again. A painting of still-life.
She thought during these lulls, alone with her mind. She thought about stupid, trivial things. Distractions. She thought about her job, if they would look for her. She thought of her apartment, and if it would be waiting for her if she ever got out. She wondered how many stitches it took to make the comforter across her bed. She wondered where she was, and why no one would hear her when she screamed. She had tried screaming. Not because she had thought it would work, only to keep herself busy. Distractions.
She couldn't think about Ranma. She couldn't think about herself. If she did she knew she would realize the pointlessness of the game. They weren't strangers. They never had been. And somehow, not thinking it made it seem less real.
She knew it was self-delusion. She knew she would realize it someday. She knew she was only prolonging the inevitable. But she also knew that the truth hurt. And nobody likes to be hurt.
"Hey."
Akane didn't turn to look at him. The game began again.
"What?"
"Follow me."
She glanced at him, out of the corner of her eye so he wouldn't see. He was waiting in the gaping mouth of the doorway. For her. She stood and followed.
She followed through the light room, through a grubby kitchen, through a hall with peeling walls. He stopped and opened a door. It squealed on its rusted hinges, trailing off weakly at the end until it died. He stood aside and gestured for her to go first.
It occurred to her just then, that maybe now he was finally going to kill her.
She stepped into the room. Her eyes trailed across the dingy floor, up the faded walls, to the star strewn sky behind the windowed ceiling. She didn't notice as her head inched backwards and her lips parted just slightly. So it was night. She had imagined it was early afternoon. Ranma chuckled behind her. And she was caught.
"You like the stars?"
Akane turned to watch him warily. He sat on a beaten loveseat, its furnishing hanging off the frame and bulging out over the lumpy cushioning. As comfortable as if he had been born there. She sat next to him. Only because he hadn't prompted her to. She enjoyed these small defiances.
"Do you?"
He didn't answer. He only leaned back and watched the sky.
"No more questions."
So he didn't want to play. Maybe she was the childish one. Maybe it was her game. Akane bit her lip on the inside, enjoying the taste of blood.
"You can see them clearest at this time of night."
She didn't answer this time. Ranma didn't seem to notice.
"Do you see that one?"
He pointed to a collection of stars. She gave up.
"Yes. It's Pegasus."
"Yeah…"
She glanced at him. He was fuzzy, a lump of gray, like everything else in the darkness.
"Wild horse, eh?"
He grinned at her analogy.
"Something like that. Horse becomes famous instead of his rider. I like that."
She pointed to a constellation.
"Do you see that one?"
"Yes. It's Aquarius."
Akane nodded. It didn't occur to her that he might not see the movement.
"Wouldn't be famous if it weren't part of the zodiac. I like that."
It was like everything else. Like her. Like Ranma. Superficial.
"How did you know?"
That was her voice. In the darkness.
"I saw you looking at them. Just before we met."
That didn't touch anything in her. It didn't sting, or burn, or spark her anger. He killed. He killed Xian. His eyes reflected the stars. She looked to the sky. Darkness and light. She looked back to Ranma and saw the same thing. In his eyes.
"Is that your favorite? Aquarius?"
"Yes."
It might have been morning. Akane assumed it was because she was just waking up beneath her ratty sheets. She didn't remember coming back to her room. She wondered if the game would start again, if she had made a mistake.
It didn't hurt just yet.
A muffled thump caught her ears. She stood, pushing aside the blankets into a tousled pile. She heard another, louder thump and a sudden crash. Glass shattering. Her ear was flattened against the door. She heard nothing. Her fists were beating against the door, her voice cried out, unintelligible.
Why was she doing this?
"Ranma!"
Yes, for him.
The door opened and she stumbled backwards. Her eyes caught flame-red hair bound in a short pigtail. A slight, lean build. Blue eyes. Dressed all in black. Darkness.
The girl stood waiting in the gaping mouth of the doorway. Their eyes locked. Death.
She closed the door, locked it, and left. Her fading footsteps echoed in Akane's ears. In her mind. The girl's lifeless eyes, Ranma's lifeless eyes, still burned through her.
It was beginning to hurt.
A/N: I know, I know. It took me forever to update, but I was really busy. I haven't had time to write. I hope I can get the next chapter out faster, but I still have to finish Half and Half, and I have school. And soccer practice four days a week. Sigh… anyway, thanks sooo much to everyone who reviewed!! C ya next time.