Title: Christmas on Serenity
Author: Corri
email: corrielle@yahoo.com
Rating: PG
Spoilers: None.
Summary: Kaylee organizes a Christmas gift exchange. Secrets, funny banter, and good times abound.
Disclaimer: I do not own Firefly, or any of these characters. They belong to Joss, Mutant Enemy, and FOX ß(for now. Come on UPN… pick up the show…)
Feedback: Always welcome.
Author's Note: Just a short funny chapter here before the revelation of who has whom for the gift exchange. Try not to laugh too hard at poor Simon. ;-) His little accident was inspired by something that happened to me this past Thanksgiving, and Jayne's advice sounds an awful lot like my father trying to teach me, his 22-year-old daughter, how to properly peel a potato. In fact, this scene is what gave me the idea for this fic in the first place!
Chapter 4
In Which Preparations are Made for a Feast
The ship was still more or less intact on the afternoon of Christmas day. The same, however, could hardly be said for the kitchen, food in various stages of preparation, dishes, and other implements were strewn everywhere. And, of course, the oven was broken. Wash lay on his back underneath the antiquated contraption as Kaylee looked on, stopping occasionally to stir the pot that was bubbling on a burner.
"Well, do I have a second opinion?" Kaylee asked as he emerged from under the stove.
"Looks like one of the heating coils is busted," Wash said. "The safety system won't let the rest of them turn on," he explained.
"That's what I thought. We could try and bypass the safeties… We have to get this thing working! I have to use it to warm the ham!" Kaylee said.
"Ain't really necessary, though," Jayne said. He was sitting on a chair a few feet a way, expertly flicking potato peelings into a bucket between his knees with a wicked looking knife. "Ham's already been cooked. We can just cut chunks off and eat it."
"That's disgusting!" Simon said, sticking his head into the kitchen to see what was going on.
"Sissy," Jayne muttered, but otherwise ignored the doctor, who saw the confusion in the kitchen and made a quick get-away.
"I'll tell you what," Wash said to Kaylee. "You've got all the burners working, right? You just keep doing what you need to, and I'll try and fix this thing."
"Thanks, Wash," Kaylee chirped, and went back to her cooking.
Book entered this lovely domestic scene with a bag of vegetables in one hand and a battered notebook in the other.
"I knew I had this recipe written down somewhere," he said cheerfully, and opened the drawer nearest his hand and pulled out a knife. He drew an emerald green squash from his bag, and began to chop it into neat little circles.
A few minutes later, Simon was back. The sight of Kaylee bustling around the kitchen preparing Christmas dinner was simply too adorable to miss. This time, the doctor was followed by his sister.
"Hey, Simon!" Kaylee greeted them when she saw them lingering in the doorway.
"I was just… wondering if there was something I could do to help," he said. Kaylee, who was in the process of rolling out a piecrust on the common room table, looked around the kitchen, desperately trying to think of a job to give him, thus keeping him in her vicinity.
"Well, making mashed potatoes for nine people involves an awful lot of peelin'. You can help Jayne with that," she finally said.
"Hey!" Jayne protested. "Don't you be farming out my job!"
"It'll go faster the more hands we've got doing it," Kaylee said. Simon pulled a chair around next to Jayne's, situating himself so that he was in a good position to watch Kaylee. He picked up a potato and looked at it with uncertainty.
"Do I need a knife or something?" he asked. Jayne gave him an 'I can't believe I'm doing this' look, and pointed to the counter.
"There's a little gadget over there you can use. You'd best not use a knife. Probably cut your finger off, and we wouldn't want our doctor havin' lame hands," Jayne said. Simon grabbed the peeler and looked at Jayne for further instructions. "You've never done this before, have you?" Jayne asked, the realization finally sinking in.
"No, I haven't," Simon answered. "At home, we had… well, we had a cook. I don't think I ever saw my mother in the kitchen the entire time I was growing up."
"Heh. I don't think I ever saw my mom out of the kitchen," Jayne said. He and Simon both laughed uneasily for a moment before looking each other in the eye and agreeing on an unspoken truce, just for the time being.
"Well, Jayne, quit chattering and show 'im how to do it!" Kaylee ordered.
"I can't believe I'm missing this!" Wash's slightly muffled voice came from under the stove.
"I don't know what I'm supposed to tell you," Jayne muttered. "Um… you hold it like this, put some pressure on your peeler, there, try not to get peelings on the floor, and, um… keep your fingers out of the way."
"I'm sure I can manage," Simon drawled. He started on his potato, making slower work of it than he might have otherwise if Kaylee hadn't been there to distract him. "I must say I was surprised to see you here," he said to Jayne, "helping out and all." Kaylee hid a giggle behind her hand, and Jayne grinned at her.
"Kaylee knows I'm just here 'cause she looks cute all covered in flour," Jayne said. Kaylee grabbed a dishtowel off of the table and snapped it at Jayne's leg. Simon, on the other hand, was slightly disconcerted at discovering that he and Jayne had such similar motivations for being in the kitchen. No one noticed River grabbing a knife from the table and a potato from the pile. She squatted down next to the bucket, and Jayne saw the flash of silver in her hand.
"Hey! River! Knife!" he yelled. Everyone in the kitchen turned to start at him. River just looked back at Jayne with an innocent smile on her face.
"I'm helping," she insisted. Jayne cautiously went back to what he'd been doing, keeping on eye on River just in case she decided he'd look better in red. Again. She watched the movements of his hands intently for a while, then began to copy them. In a remarkably short amount of time, she was finished. She handed the product of her labors to Jayne, as if giving him a precious gift. He looked it over, and put it on the 'already done' pile.
"Not bad," he said. "Hey, Simon, I think she's better at this than you are."
"She's better at most things than I am," Simon reminded him. River stuck her tongue out at him, and Simon laughed, momentarily forgetting Jayne's advice about keeping his fingers out of the way. "OW!" he yelped, and dropped his half-peeled potato in the bucket.
"I told you to be careful," Jayne said. River picked up what it was her brother had dropped and went to work on it.
"It's bleeding!" Simon said, amazed that a little innocuous-looking instrument like the one he was holding in his uninjured hand could do such damage. Jayne just snickered.
"Don't bleed all over my dinner!" Kaylee commanded. Simon slapped his other hand around his bleeding finger and stuck his head out into the hallway. He saw movement a few feet away.
"Zoe?" he called. "Hey! Zoe!" The ship's second in command appeared in the doorway.
"You need something?" she asked.
"Could you go get me a wrap from the infirmary? Just a little one… I'd do it, but my hands are… messy." Simon explained.
"First drawer on the left, right?" Zoe asked.
"That's it," he said. While waiting for Zoe to return with his bandage, Simon paced around the kitchen, making occasional grimaces of pain. He stopped to peer over Book's shoulder. An aromatic steam was rising from the skillet in front of the shepherd.
"That looks very interesting. I didn't know vegetables could be so exciting," Simon said. Book nodded and added a pinch of spice to the mix, then dumped in a whole mess of sliced carrots.
"Many of my brethren at the abbey chose to forego meat, and live on a simpler diet," he explained. "I learned quite a few ways to make meals using only what the soil gives us."
Zoe reappeared and handed Simon a small bandage. The doctor walked over to the sink and washed his hands. Air hissed through his teeth as the warm water hit his cut, but he let the water run until he was satisfied that the wound was clean. Then, he ripped the paper wrapping off of the bandage and carefully wound it around his finger.
"Thanks, Zoe," he said. "That's much better."
"It's nothing," she replied. "You've sure helped me out enough times." For the first time, she noticed the pair of legs sticking out from under the stove. "Is that Wash?" she asked.
"It most certainly is!" he replied, pushing himself out into the open. "I fixed it!" he announced to anyone who happened to be listening.
"You did? Oh, Wash! Thank you!" Kaylee threw her arms around him and gave him a big hug. When she was done, Wash had some flour on the front of his shirt to go with the other stains that were already there.
"Come on, Husband," Zoe said, putting an arm around Wash's waist. "You look like you need to go get cleaned up before dinner."
Mal passed the couple on the way back to their bunk. He took one look at Wash's disheveled, flour-smeared appearance and raised an eyebrow at him.
"You look like you've been through the wars," he said. "How goes the cooking?"
"It's like a circus in there, Sir," Zoe told him.
"But I think Kaylee has everything in hand," Wash added. Mal nodded and inhaled deeply, savoring the delicious smells that were wafting out of the kitchen.
"It sure smells good, whatever it is she's doing. I just hope she can fend Jayne off long enough for the rest of us to have something to eat," Mal joked. His brow furrowed, and he got a seriously worried look on his face. "Where is Jayne, by the way?" he asked.
"He's in the kitchen teaching potato peeling class, or some such thing, to Simon and River," Zoe said. Wash started laughing all over again.
"I'm not even going to ask," Mal murmured.