Chapter 2: The pie dough
"Umm, you want me to peel those too?" He asked her.
"Would you mind? I'm not sure what we've got here is enough," she said, gesturing to the large bowl full of chopped potatoes in front of her.
"My pleasure," he grinned, and resumed splattering the large sink and his sweatshirt with starchy potato juices.
Tifa watched him, a relaxed smile gracing her face. He'd seen her smile, that was the reason his grin bloomed.
"Hold it a second, Zack?" He heard her soft voice, and then he felt her slip her arms around him in a bear hug. He dropped his peeler and potato, laying his own arms gently on top of hers and pulling her arms tighter around him. His eyes fell closed for a second, and he heard her contented sigh.
Then he heard her say...
"Can I put this on you?"
He didn't need to answer, because her small arms were already wrapping an apron around him, to protect his sweatshirt from further splatter.
"Sure," he gave her his good-natured grin, "as long as you're gonna make good on this," he gestured at the kiss me, I'm the chef' print on the apron.
"You're incorrigible, you know that?" She chided gently, but then she turned to face him, and tip-toed up to kiss him on the cheek.
When he felt her soft lips pressed against him, he wrapped both arms around her and lifted her up into a tight embrace. For long moments he held her close to him, before slowly setting her back on the floor and leaning his cheek against her tousled hair.
He almost gasped when he realized she'd been holding him too, holding him for just as long as he'd held her. Almost as tightly. Not that he dared believe it was out of love. She was probably just lonely. Living with a man whose heart is always somewhere else, with someone else.
God, she deserved so much better. He had to swallow hard as he looked down at her velvet eyes, suddenly so open with an unfamiliar emotion. She'd never looked at him like that before, right? He couldn't think, he just couldn't be sure.
She blushed a little, and with a shy smile, returned to her own task. He could've sworn her hands lost a bit of its steady rhythm as she rolled and shaped the pie dough. She even tore it a couple of times. But maybe he wasn't so sure. He was... absorbed by the sensuous way her callused hands kneaded that dough. At least until it stuck to the counter so hard she had to scrape it off with a spatula.
"Want me to do that for you?" He offered, his voice sounding just a little bit taut.
"W-what?" She looked baffled -- embarrassed that she'd messed up, and shocked that he'd offered to help.
"What's with the what'? You think just cause I'm a man I don't know how to handle pie dough?"
"Well..." she smiled that embarrassed smile again, and he felt positively giddy. He just had to show off his skills.
Not waiting for her consent, he stepped over, and began working the dough, even though her small hands were still tangled in it. It was inevitable their hands would touch. He had to pull back-- his whole body had become a live wire.
He would've dropped the dough, but she caught it against her.
He swallowed hard, embarrassed. "Sorry. Guess I'm not so hot after all, " he muttered, his voice completely devoid of the confidence he'd wielded just moments ago.
"No... that was my fault. Do you want to give it a shot now?" She asked, her face again a blush, her hands clasping each other, conspicuously out of his way. She gave him such an encouraging smile that he had to grin back.
"Sure." And he demonstrated his skills, quite steadily this time. When he looked up, she was beaming with pride, although her words were just a little teasing.
"Oh... you're so good. I can't have you in here, outshining me..."
"Hey, don't even kid about that. You're a great cook. I'm just helping out a little. Hey, don't I eat here often enough to help out a little?" He cocked his eyebrows comically, and was glad to see her break into her own grin.
Just then, the clock in the living room struck, snapping them out of the moment.
"Oh no! Look at the time!" she exclaimed.
He shrugged extravagantly, continuing to work the dough until it had neatly lined the bottoms of two small pans.
"Anything else I can do for you?" He asked, refusing to look at his watch, although the darkening sky outside hinted heavily that it was way past time for him to set off. He just wanted her to give him one more task. An excuse to stay beside her. Just another hour, maybe...
"No. You've done enough! You're not even staying to eat this..."
His face fell.
"No! Please don't think that... that's _not_ what I meant!" Her hands flew up in frustration. "I mean, you've already done way too much for a meal you won't even get to taste. I didn't mean to sound like I was bitching about having to share you with your Mom and Dad," she pleaded, her eyes so apologetic that he just shook his head at her, his hand straying to lightly cup her cheek.
"Don't apologize, Tifa. It's all right. I'm... glad you want me around."
"Of course I want you around! You... you're the joy of my life, you know?" She said, her eyes so full of genuine affection that despite his shock, he couldn't open his mouth to ask do you really mean that.' He just had to believe her.
His chest ached sharply as he watched her sweet brown eyes attain a glistening shine.
"What's wrong, Tifa?"
She paused a moment. Perhaps to compose herself. Or perhaps to find the right words to tell him what he meant to her, what he'd brought to her life. And the misgivings she harbored about their being together like this.
"I'm just realizing... how spoiled I've been, having you here with me... when..."
He wanted badly to say something reassuring. But it looked like she had more to say, and he couldn't interrupt.
"...when I'm not sure... what you're getting out of... being stuck here with me..."
"I'm not stuck here with you, Tifa! I want to be with you. And... I'll be here... until you want me to... leave..." His voice broke a little as he finished lamely. And that broke the flood gate--tears began seeping down her cheeks.
"I wouldn't... want you to leave. I'm even too selfish to share with your parents," she smiled sheepishly, smiled through her tears. That embarrassed, apologetic smile that drove him crazy.
He wrapped his arms around her, squeezing his own stinging eyes shut.
God, he hated to leave her. But he had to--for her own good. So that she could have what she'd always wanted. So that Cloud could propose to her.
But why didn't he feel like a noble friend, clearing the way for her happiness? Why did it feel like he was abandoning her instead?
"You'd better go," she admonished gently, her small hands struggling with the knot with which she'd tied on his apron, and he nodded, choking back words. As she slipped the apron off, he wrapped one arm around her once more, his other hand pushing back stray hair so he could press a kiss into her temple.
Even though it was already late, Tifa leaned guiltily into his kiss, and tightened her arms about him. She stayed in his arms until she realized she's rubbed tomato seeds and pulp all over the back of his sweatshirt, the one she'd tried to protect with the apron.
"Oops, sorry... my hands..."
"It's ok," he said, pulling her right back into his arms. What was a sweatshirt to him, compared to her love? This was... probably one she'd bought for him anyway.
Yeah, it was--she'd got it for him last Christmas, along with some work gloves, and a fun gift--a pair of skis she'd caught him looking at. He'd used them a few times, each time wondering whether he'd ever be able to snuggle in a mountain cabin with her, sipping hot chocolate, sinking into a hot tub, rubbing her clumsy, stinky feet, and letting his hands drift higher, maybe...
"I'm so bad," he heard her mutter. "I'm still not letting you go," she half-pouted and then grinned, pulling out of his arms.
She was rinsing tomato seeds off her hands so she could see him out, and he wasn't in a hurry to go. But his coat and scarf were too easy to find-- she'd laid them out for him on the chair near the door. And his boots were waiting for him by the door.
But as he sat on the couch, waiting for her to emerge from the kitchen, his jaw dropped. Snow had piled up, higher than the window sill. Thank God he'd put in storm windows for her last month. But he couldn't even see his car out the window.
"Hey, Tifa, you gotta come see this."
"Oh no! What about your plans? You won't be able to get there like this!" She exclaimed guiltily, when she came from the kitchen. He wouldn't be able to drive to Gongaga. He'd have to wade through waist-deep snow just to get to his house next door!
Was it her fault? Maybe if she hadn't given him so many tasks...
But better he was here with her than stuck on the road in a sudden blizzard. It was more than a 7 hour drive to Gongaga. If he'd set out and then was pummeled by snow...
Is that what's happening to Cloud now?
She realized with a start-- this was the first she'd thought of Cloud in hours.
He felt her startle, and glanced down, concerned. "What's wrong, Tifa?"
"I just realized... Cloud wouldn't be able to fly home. I hadn't even thought about that..."
Zack felt a little tug at the mention of Cloud's name. He hadn't thought about Cloud's flight home either. Actually, his first thought when he saw snow was... relief he wouldn't have to leave Tifa for a while.
"Come on, this is the first you've seen of it. Nobody saw this coming. So, don't feel bad that you haven't thought about Cloud having to fly through this. You wanna call him?" He suggested, knowing she'd worry if she didn't know where Cloud was.
Most likely, Cloud was still inside Reeve's mansion, the two of them reminiscing about Aeris and planning another flower garden in her honor. Was Cloud supposed to come back tonight? That's right. That was why he was leaving tonight-- he'd put off leaving her til the last possible moment.
"Yeah. You'd better call your parents too, right?"
"To say Merry Christmas in a couple of days, maybe. But they're not expecting me, remember?"
"Right... sorry, I'm so forgetful..."
"No you're not. Quit putting yourself down, or I'll have to... get rough with ya," he flashed a menacing grin.
"Huh?" She gave him her most confused, befuddled stare.
He couldn't resist an invitation like that-- his sweet, unsuspecting Tifa, a sitting duck. With a howl his nimble fingers slid to her vulnerable flanks and began tickling fiendishly.
"No! Zack! Stop it! Please!" She begged and struggled, then collapsed on the floor, trying to escape her tormentor.
After a moment, he relented. "So... quit doing that. Just call him and quit worrying..."
"Hmph," she picked herself off the floor and fled to safer grounds, still regarding him with wary, suspicious eyes. He grinned triumphantly and tossed the phone to her.
He went back to the kitchen, not wanting to hear too much of her conversation with Cloud. But he heard bits and pieces of it anyway...
"Oh! I'm sure Aeris would've loved that! Roses were her favorite. Was that your idea?"
"So Reeve thought of that one, hmm..."
"Sure. It's ok. Just don't try to take off until it's safe out, ok?"
"I'm fine. There's much less snow fall here, and Zack's here with me."
Was it his imagination, or was there an uncomfortable silence for a while? She didn't even say uh-huh' as often. It was as though Cloud had tensed up at the other end hearing his name.
"I miss you too..."