A Winter's Evening
Disclaimer: I want Inuyasha for Christmas! ...No? ;_;
Author's Notes: This contains mild spoilers from episode 48. (I'm sorry, but I LOVE that episode... so bitter and sweet at the same time... it made me tear up!) Be warned.
*
"Inuyasha?"
"What?" came the gruff reply.
Kagome sighed, setting her pack down next to his tree. She pulled out a bag of ramen, and looked back up at him, patiently waiting for him to say something... but nothing came. "I bought you some ramen," she said, holding it out to him. When he didn't even bother to look at it or her, she frowned.
"I want to be left alone."
She stared at him, startled. The way he had said that... it seemed to be colder than the snow itself, which was falling silently from the gray sky.
"Did you hear me, Kagome?"
"You're thinking about Kikyou, aren't you?" she blurted out before she could stop herself.
A low growl emerged from Inuyasha, and he jumped down, getting up into her face. "Kagome..." he warned, closing his eyes. "Just leave me alone."
"I don't get you," she whispered, dropping her gaze to the snow on the ground. "You won't allow me to stay home with my family, and force me back here on Christmas day... and just when I decide to spend it with you, you push me away. If you don't want me here..."
"Then go. I don't care. Go back to your time. I'll pick you up in three days. I just want to be alone right now. Is that too much to ask?"
She shook her head, taking a few steps back. "I suppose not. Sorry." She reached over and grabbed her pack. Aside from ramen that she took out earlier, she had also taken something else out, and picked it up, handing it to Inuyasha. "This is for you... I already gave everyone else their presents before I came here. I hope you like it... Merry Christmas."
Inuyasha reached out, and grabbed her arm. "Thanks," he muttered. "Where are you going?"
She gave him a weak smile. "Nowhere... I'm just going to take a walk around the forest before I return... it's beautiful out there."
He nodded.
"But before I go," she said, smiling warmly at him. "Can you answer me this? I know it'll be hard... but it's been bothering me for a while. With Kikyou... did you ever spend Christmas together?"
"No," he breathed out heavily, looking away from her. "All my life, I've never had a 'Merry' Christmas... no one had ever cared, except for my parents. But when Kikyou came into my life... everything changed. She cared... but then... Naraku... that bastard..."
Kagome gently touched his hand, and he looked up at her. "You don't have to say anymore. I understand. I'll leave you alone to think about it..."
"Kikyou..." he murmured softly.
Kagome felt her heart slowly twist in agony as he whispered his old love's name. He misses her... he loves her. After everything that's happened... he still protects her. We've already went through this before... and I promised him that I'd always be by his side. But if this keeps up, I'm not so sure if I can keep that promise anymore...
"Kagome?"
She looked at him, blinking. "Huh?"
"Why are you crying...?"
"What...? I'm not..." She slowly brought her hands up to her face, touching it gently. "I... I don't know." I've got to get a grip on myself... I didn't even know that I was crying. Thinking about him and Kikyou together... and me and him departing... it hurts. I don't want to leave him... I want to be by his side. But I can't stand the cost that comes along with it... the pain...
"Kagome... stop thinking. Stop spacing out."
"I'm sorry," she sniffed, wiping her face. "I can't help it... picturing you and Kikyou together... seeing how you just throw me aside when you need to just to be and to protect her... it hurts. I..."
"I owe her," he interrupted, clenching his fists. "She died because of me! Don't you get it, Kagome? I owe her my life!"
"No one's to blame but Naraku! It was all of his doing!"
"I know it's that bastard's fault!" Inuyasha shouted, breathing heavily. "Sit me."
She blinked at him. "What?"
"Sit me."
"But-"
"If you don't do it, I'm going to go crazy. I'm going to attack everything and everyone that is in my sight. So do it before you regret it."
"S-sit."
"Now go," he growled out, slamming his fist into the snow. "I don't want to talk about this anymore."
I... I just caused him more pain. What am I doing? If I stay and attempt to help, both of us will get hurt. He wants to be by himself... it's the least I could do... "I'm so sorry, Inuyasha. I didn't mean to hurt you anymore than you already were..." With that said, she turned away and ran.
And the snow fell harder.
*
The sound of laughter made his ears twitch in almost happiness. Because he knew that laugh – it was Kagome's light laugh. Jumping over a tree, he looked down, searching for her. But when he spotted her, he growled.
"Kagome Higurashi," Kouga said as he gripped her shoulders, making her face him. "You are the weirdest girl I know... and that's why I love you."
She blushed a bit, and turned away, staring off into the setting sun. "What's so weird about making a Christmas angel in the snow?" she asked, rubbing her face with her cold hands. "Ugh... my hands are freezing..."
"Want me to warm them up?" Kouga offered, grinning at her. Before she could answer, he had grabbed her hands in his, and started to rub them against each other.
"That's not necessary..." Kagome said slowly, staring dumbfounded.
"It's my pleasure."
"I'm sure it is," Inuyasha growled quietly as his hand settled comfortably on the hilt of his Tetsusaiga. "It'll be my pleasure soon enough."
Kagome slowly pulled her hands away and pointed out to the horizon. "Isn't that beautiful, Kouga? Whenever I watch the sun set or rise... it makes me feel at ease. I don't know why... it just does. But most of the time, I'm always by myself when I watch it. I'm glad you're here with me right now, Kouga. You've made my day so much better..."
Kouga smiled down at her. He actually gave her a true, pleasant smile. "No problem, Kagome," he said, putting one of his arms around her shoulder. "We should do this more often."
And surprisingly, Kagome returned his gesture of placing one of her arms around his shoulders. Together they sat, watching the sun slowly set.
Kouga isn't all that bad. I saw a total different side of him today... it was nice. Maybe he's really not the rude, obnoxious, and somewhat stupid wolf he acts like...
"Kagome?"
"Hm?"
"What are you thinking about?"
"Just stuff..." she replied, smiling. "You know, you're a lot like Inuyasha in some ways."
Kouga instantly pulled away from her, giving her a terrified look. "You're comparing me to that stupid dog-face?!"
"Hey, watch it," Kagome defended, smacking him lightly on the shoulder. "I meant that in a good way, because he's a lot like you too."
"Heh..."
"Gosh, it's late," Kagome said as she stood up, stretching a bit. "I better head back. Inuyasha and the others are probably getting worried."
"Why do you have to go back to them, Kagome? If all Inuyasha does is cause you pain, why don't you come with me? I'll be your protector..."
She smiled at him, and stepped forward, giving him a hug. "That's awfully sweet of you, Kouga, but I can't do that. Maybe, just maybe someday I'll consider that... but for now, I can't do that. Thanks, though."
Kouga held onto her tightly, not wanting to let go. "Do you think you could ever love me, Kagome?"
The question shocked her, so much that she found herself speechless. "I... I don't know." Is he being serious? I always thought that he did what he did because he wanted me to detect the jewels for him... and to give Inuyasha a hard time... "You're serious, Kouga?"
"Kagome," he breathed into her hair. "It's almost been two years since I've met you. At first, I only wanted to claim you because you had the ability to see the shards. But now... it's not even about that anymore. There's just something about you... I don't know what... but it draws me to you."
"Kouga..." she whispered. "I don't know what to say..."
"You don't need to say anything."
She pulled away from him, and gave him a sweet smile. "Thanks, Kouga, for everything... I'm very happy that I ran into you today. I was feeling so lost before... talking to you has made me feel so much better. But I have to get going now. Merry Christmas, Kouga. I'll see you around."
Kouga returned her a smile, and swiftly grabbed her hand, giving it a quick kiss before releasing it and running off. "Later, Kagome!"
"Bye!"
The snow continued to fall, but now at a slow, peaceful pace.
*
Stupid wench... running off with that wimpy wolf like that. She... his thoughts trailed off as he saw her approaching him, a small, but satisfied smile on her gentle features. Feh.
"Inuyasha? It's late, and it's getting cold. Lets head back to-"
"You reek of that wimpy wolf," Inuyasha spat, looking away from her. "What the hell were you doing?"
"We..." She bowed her head in shame. "When I ran off into the forest, I ran into him... and we had a talk... and quite frankly, it was nice. You know, he's not really the 'wimpy' and 'stupid' wolf you think he is... he's actually really sweet."
Inuyasha scowled. "Feh, yeah right. You know he only wants you because you can detect the shards."
"Could the same be said of you?" she scowled back angrily. "Is it so hard to believe that someone can actually love me? Is it?"
He didn't respond, because it was then that he felt a huge amount of guilt thrash him in the face. "I didn't mean it like that..."
She sighed and sat down, leaning against the tree. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to throw that in your face. It's just... this wasn't the way I had planned things to be. I had planned making Christmas angels, making snow mans, having snowball fights... you know, the usual."
Inuyasha hopped down from his tree, and sat down next to her, staring off into the night sky. "We can still do that now if you want..."
Kagome shook her head. "No, we can do that tomorrow," she said as she stuck her tongue out, allowing the small pieces of snow to fall onto her tongue. "Right now, I just wanna watch the snow fall and the night sky..."
"...Okay..."
She turned to look at him, smiling. "Did I ever tell you about this tree, Inuyasha? The Goshinboku?" When he shook his head, she sighed slightly. "Do you remember nearly a year ago when you had chosen Kikyou over me? When I went back to my time, thinking that it'd be best if I left forever? And in the end, I came back... and asked if I could stay with you?"
"...Yeah..." I could never forget that... I had never been so scared and sad at the same time... I didn't want you to leave me...
"Well, part of the reason why I came back was because of this tree. When my mother found me, I was staring at Goshinboku, reflecting back on all the memories we had together... and I asked myself why it was me who had to go through all of this. I asked, 'Why is this happening to me? If he was destined to meet with Kikyou again... then why am I even in the picture?' I wished that I had never met you... but then my mother told me that my father had proposed to her under this very tree."
Where is she getting at...?
"She said that before he proposed to her, that the day before, they had a foolish fight over something. She came and sat under this tree... and felt herself being purified. She knew then that everything was going to be fine. She's very thankful for this tree... because it had blessed her with Souta and I."
He didn't know what to say, so he remained silent.
"And that's when I realized... this was where I first met you. And when I gathered my courage to come see you, I thought that maybe, just maybe it wasn't just a coincidence how we met. There might be some kind of meaning behind that... maybe not. I wish there is... but I suppose it really depends on you."
Inuyasha extended his hand, and grasped hers delicately. "Kagome..."
She smiled at him, tears brimming in her eyes. "Don't let this change your mind about anything. I just wanted to get that out of my system. I don't want you to pity me just because of this."
"I'm not," he reassured her. "I won't." Kagome... she really thinks that there's a reason behind how we met. Well... I do too. "Thanks, Kagome."
"For what?"
He lifted up his sleeve, and showed her the bracelet that was dangling from his wrist. "For the bracelet... you had my name engraved in it too."
"Yeah..."
He pulled her closer, wrapping one arm around her waist while his other hand gently laid on hers. She leaned her head in closer against his shoulder, and smiled. "Merry Christmas, Inuyasha..." she murmured. "I promise I'll shut up about all of this... I won't say anymore..."
"It's okay," he soothed. "I promise you that I'll always protect you... I'll be here for you... I won't let anyone harm you." I won't even let Kouga touch you anymore...
"And I promise that I'll always be by your side, even though I made it before... I'll try my best to keep it."
"You already have, Kagome... and for that, I thank you...."
She closed her eyes, satisfied with his answer.
"Merry Christmas, Kagome..."
*
Sorry for any OOC-ness. I would consider this Inu+Kag fluff... but I don't know. Partly because of that, I'm not really satisfied with this. It also doesn't really feel like a Christmas fic either, does it? Oi... this will definitely need some revising... I'll do that later! ^-^ But until then, review! And happy holidays!
By the way, does anyone have a better idea for the title? At first, I was going to name it "Winter Promises" but then... eh... O_o Whatever. x_x;